


Deja Vu

by DTA2013



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Comfort, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Family, Friendship, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Love, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-18
Updated: 2015-02-26
Packaged: 2018-03-13 22:08:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 54
Words: 113,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3398036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DTA2013/pseuds/DTA2013
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An old case opens old wounds for JJ, as Emily is once again thrown into a place of darkness. But who will suffer more as both women are thrown into darkness...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have changed their ages on this story….  
> I keep forgetting to place disclaimers so here it is DISCLAIMER: I do not own Criminal Minds or its characters...  
> I also post on FF and fictionpad under DTA2013.  
> ARCHIVING: Only with my permission. I don't normally put this but seems that people are at it again. The only places these stories should be are Fanfiction and Fictionpad. I do not want to have to change the privacy settings on here to only registered users. So please if you find any of my works anywhere other than these sites please inform me many thanks.

**Location; home**

**Month: January**

The morning came around too soon, the light filtered into the bedroom through a crack in the curtains, I moved to curl into my wife's loving arms as she pulled me close, she placed a loving kiss on my forehead.

"Too early" I mumbled into her neck. I could feel her chuckle slightly as she pulled me closer.

"Well if someone would have gone to bed early" her voice trailed off slightly. "I'll go and make us both a coffee" she gave me one last squeeze before I reluctantly let her go.

"Okay" I said with a slight yawn.

She gave me a soft loving look before she tossed the sheets back, her soft skin seemed to shine with the soft light which caught against her flesh causing it to glow slightly in the light. I watched as she drew the dressing gown around herself. The wound, which laced her abdomen, had fully healed. Leaving a scar in its place. It had taken me months once she had come back home, to get her to allow me to see her naked, and that was over a year ago now.

I was in slight shocked that our children had not woken us both this morning, the house was silent, which with our two was not a good sign.

The door creaked slightly as a small blonde haired child snuck into our room. "Mama?" his voice so soft it melted my heart.

"Mama is down stairs sweetheart" I watched as he shook his head.

"Want mama" his voice was laced with hurt and sadness.

I moved slightly so that I was sitting up in bed, I motioned for him to join me, which he did. Even though Emily had been back a year Henry would often worry that, his mama had gone again. It had taken months for me to get caught pregnant with him, Emily had attended every appointment, she held my hand when I had been told it hadn't took, and we both rejoiced when they told me I was pregnant. They both have such a strong bond much as I have with Amy.

I sit running my fingers through his hair as we wait for Emily to return with the much needed coffee. It has always been our morning routine since we got together, she is the protector and carer of our family and she just pampers me. This is what she loves to do though.

I smile softly as the door handle turns again "Ma?"

I sighed as I patted the bed "Making me a coffee sweetie" I said softly as she curled into the other side of me.

This had been our routine for years, even before Henry was born. Only we normally woke up with Amy curled into my side. I ran my fingers through her long dark hair; she truly is Emily's double.

"Can one of you open the door for me" Emily called as Amy jumped off the bed, with Henry following.

Luckily I managed to grab him so he was not able to tackle Emily, who was holding scolding hot drinks. He huffed slightly as I pulled him back as I waited for Amy to get the tray off Emily before I could let our son go to her. I watched as her arms wrapped around him, he giggled in delight as she tickled his stomach, this was the Emily I know and love. Kind, caring, loving and full of mischief, which Henry was starting to follow her, she dotes on both children.

When I look back to the time she first came to the BAU, shy, a total nerd which she still is and I fully love that quality about her, but this side of her only our children and I see.

Amy may not be mine through blood but she is my daughter, it took her a few years to fully trust me but the day she called me Mom, I ended up crying with pride and joy for over an hour in Emily's arms, she had finally accepted me into her life fully and our bond only grew stronger from there.

Amy would turn 13 in a few months and Emily and I have it all planned out, well so have the team they all dote on our children, just like we do with Jack, we are a family and we have been through a hell of a lot but we seem stronger for it now. However, if you had asked me that when I had to pretend my wife was dead to everyone including our children. I will just say that the team did not feel like a family too me for months. Our wounds from that had nearly healed, Declan comes around once a week as long as we have no cases and I know deep down Emily wishes he could live with her full time, but we both know it still is not safe.

* * *

**Location: BAU**

I watch on as Emily and Morgan throw the rubber bands at each other, I shake my head slightly before heading into the office. "They are worse than our children." I muttered under my breath to which I heard someone chuckle behind me.

"Have you only just come to that conclusion?" Hotch asked me.

I laughed slightly as I shake my head. "No I worked that out over five years ago, though they do both test me even now."

He raises an eyebrow at me. "Is everything okay JJ?" he asks as I close my eyes slightly, in truth everything was perfect, well aside from the file, which seemed to appear on my desk like a red-hot poker digging into my side.

"Can you look at this file please?" I ask without explaining any further before making my way back into the bullpen.

"Have you guys even started on those consults yet?" I ask looking directly at my wife.

"Does a line count?" Morgan commented from behind her, I sighed loudly before shaking my head and walking back to my office.

* * *

Morgan looked at Emily in confusion, the slight worry flickered across Emily's eyes, "What was all that about Prentiss?" he asked as my eyes tracked up to my wife's office.

"I have no clue" I offered, my confusion mirrored his "I best go and check on her" I said as I tried to rack my brain as to what was going on, everything had been fine this morning, had I forgotten something?

I knocked softly on the door and I winced internally at the tone held in her voice. "What"

I look at her, the blue swirling orbs that allow me to see into her soul, seemed blank and void as though something had slammed down in front of her. I had never seen her like this in all the time I had known her. The only thing that came into my mind as I looked into her eyes where that they seemed in pain.

"Jennifer," I say softly though she doesn't seem to fully reply or realise it is me.

"Don't call me that."

I swallow slightly as I move towards her slightly guarded. "JJ?" I tried again this time slipping back into the name I use to call her before I fully admitted my feeling for her.

Her eyes seemed to look straight through me as though I was not there, as though I was a ghost in the room filled with a mountain of files and she was unable to see passed them. I still get no response as I make my way around her desk; I slowly reach out my hand, before I flinch, one because of the sound and second because of the pain against my cheek.

"Jennifer Prentiss" I scold this time, this was not my wife in front of me this was someone who was angry and hurt and seemed unable to understand that the person she loved was at her side.

"Don't touch me" she whispered.

I backed away slightly unsure what I was meant to do, was my wife breaking before my eyes? Had the pictures which were laid before her been, all consumed in her mind and that was all she was able to see.

"My sweet girl" I whispered as I moved out of her personal space unable to think what I was meant to do, I needed to either snap her out of this state or let her come to me.

Her eyes seemed haunted and it broke my heart, the soft knock pulled me away from looking at her, I think it is only the second time I have seen him worried as he entered the room closing the door behind him. Hotch the master of hiding his emotions seemed worried and slightly in shock. He gave me a slight but kind smile as though he was trying to reassure me that things were okay. Though looking back at her I had my doubts.

"What's going on Hotch?" I asked my eyes focused on my wife as I spoke. He sighed slightly as he moved towards my wife I could not help the hurt, which laced my eyes as he placed a file into my hands.

"JJ" Hotch said his voice kind but firm, though the only reaction he got was a sideward glance as she whispered.

"Is it true?" the words were so hushed that I almost missed it. I heard the venom and anger in my sweet loving wife something I had not seen before.

He turned and looked at me "Read the file Emily" he said with a sigh as he carefully made his way over to my broken and haunted wife.

I read the file slightly taken back with what I read; it was a letter and a case from five years prior before I joined the unit. How did I not know about this why did she never tell me? I read the case over taking in each detail. I knew she had been in a long-term relationship and her partner had been killed but she had never told me she had been murdered. My heart broke for her as I read that the person that had done this was going for early release and by the looks of it, it was going to be granted.

I wanted to hold her, to wrap my arms around her and tell her it was going to be okay, but I knew they would fall deaf on her ears right now; she was in turmoil as though she was reliving it again. Though what shocked me is the fact that some of our team had worked the case and no one had ever mentioned it to me or even warned me. He had been given a life sentence I couldn't understand how this was possible.

"We will fight this JJ" Hotch said or more like promised, he was protective of the team and he had always seen JJ as a daughter to him an extension of his family, the caring uncle to our children, I felt out of place unsure if I should offer comfort to her or if she wanted me anywhere near her.

Her eyes seemed to lock with mine the full concept that I was standing in the room with them I heard the slight gasp that came from her lips as she looked at my reddened cheek.

"Emily"

I could only give her a comforting smile as I made my way towards her, catching her as she threw herself into my arms, her face hiding within the crook of my neck, I felt the tears fall onto my neck as I held her tight in my arms, offering protection from everything around her.

"Take me home," she said in a choked breath I looked at Hotch who in turn nodded at the request.


	2. Chapter 2

**Rewind 12 years**

**Location: BAU**

**12 years earlier.**

I had just started working at the BAU, I had everything I wanted to achieve, a girlfriend I love dearly, and the job I had applied for after hearing an retired FBI agent speak about his book, it was then sat there listening to him I knew what I wanted to do after I had left Uni, Amanda stood by me all the way, she had more faith in me than I could ever have had. She is my rock; she had shown me that everything is possible and if it was something that I wanted then I could do it.

I can be something more than a small town girl, my parents did not approve though, and the mere thought of me working for the FBI sent a wave of fear through them, I guess they never had any faith that I could do it.

I needed to have meaning to my life and even though I am just the media liaison person for an elite team known as the BAU, it is like a dream come true. As I told Amanda I could not play soccer forever, but thanks to soccer, I was able to go to Uni and I was able be someone.

I couldn't have gone back home, after my sister killed herself, it had never felt like home since then. And as soon as I got offered a scholarship I was out of that town and I vowed there and then that if I left I would not go back there, and I have kept to that.

Amanda is a few years older than I am, she works for the crimes against children's unit, I use to envy her and never knew how she was able to do that, but she threw her heart and soul into it.

I walked through the double doors into the bullpen. The room was abuzz with noise, people on phones, reading and doing paper work. I was unsure where I was meant to be, I was looking for Agent Hotchner or Agent Gideon.

I had been told the team was very small. It consisted of three people, it made me chuckle internally, but then I wondered just how many people would you really need to understand a person's behaviour.

I had been told of my other duties that were required of me, although now I just needed to find Agent Hotchner or Agent Gideon.

"Can I help you Ma'am?" the soft voice pulled me as I turned around to the person, which had spoken.

"Could you tell me where I will find Agent Hotchner or Agent Gideon, please?" I smiled as he nodded.

I followed him up the catwalk and there I had been left stood outside the office door. I felt like a naughty student, which had been sent to the headmaster's office.

In addition, here I was looking forward to starting my first day with this team.

* * *

**Location: New York**

**One Year Later.**

"JJ" I heard Hotch say my name as he walked into the conference room. I sighed slightly as I looked at him.

"Any news?" I asked in hope, I looked for any sign of hope on his face, but again all I saw way the blank expression on his face his emotion fully tucked out of sight, though his eyes held sadness.

The team had been profiling a serial rapist. The unsub was kidnapping and murdering professional woman, it had escalated when an FBI Agent was found in the early hours of the morning. He had broken his routine and pattern.

We had the profile and we had delivered the profile to the local law enforcement and additional FBI agents. I had given more press conferences this month than I had in the whole year of working here.

His preference is young blondes; he targeted anyone working in law enforcement or around law enforcement. Which meant that many people could be targeted. The first few girls he had killed were fresh out of the academies or Uni; they had only just begun their journey only to have it ripped away from them.

I looked at the board in front of me. White Male. Aged 30 to 35. Around 5ft9. Shoe size 10. Medium build. May have been turned down for a job within law enforcement or had been out ranked by a younger woman.

Amanda was worried about me going to work, she was scared I was not going to come home to her, she had kept a close eye on the press and the information which was being filtered through the FBI, she is protective and caring and right now I can understand her worry. I look at the picture of the young rookie which was now joining the pictures of all the victims. I could not help the cold shiver that ran through my body, or the thoughts that flew through my mind.

"That could be me" I whisper to myself, I have a look of her and I can relate to the victims more since they are all around my age.

Gideon rests his hand on my shoulder as I half smile at him "We will get him JJ" he said in a caring manner. Though he can seem off handed to some Agents he is caring and kind and I have learnt so much from him and Hotch.

"The sooner the better" I reply in a hushed voice, before I walked out the room to deliver yet another press conference.

* * *

**Two days later.**

I stare dumbfounded at what lies in front of what. A note or maybe I should say letter. Chills run through my body as the churning of my stomach answer the nauseous feeling which erupts inside of me. I know my skin has paled because I can feel the blood draining from my face. The picture, which is also enclosed, fills me with a fear that I have never felt before.

Agent Roberts knocked on my office door, but I am in too much shock to even acknowledge him. "JJ, are you okay?" the words seem to filter through my mind.

However, I am unable to speak. I am too wrapped up in my own fear to even speak. I know he has called for Hotch. Profilers never need to ask again if something is wrong and I know Hotch has rushed in to my office.

However, all I can do is stare at the letter, which is in font me. "JJ? What's going on" I can hear the sheer amount of concern in his voice as he approaches me. "Jennifer" I hear him say softly, I look at him and then back at the letter.

Hotch uses his pen to turn the letter I know he has seen the picture of me and Amanda, this time I can't help the vomit the spills out to the side of my desk onto the floor, I am frozen in shock and fear.

Amanda's face is crossed out with a thick read marker. "Roberts go and get Gideon please" Hotch seems so calm. How the hell can he be so calm this person wants Amanda out of the way, out of my life.

The words do not need to be even said, tears now form in my eyes. "Hotch" the words come out as my voice trembles.

I had always known that sometimes the unsubs can taunt law enforcement but this is more than a taunt this is a threat. He is in effect calling me out, the words rip through me like a red-hot poker slicing through my skin.

Hotch's hand rests on my shoulder. "JJ, Hotch?" I know Gideon has now come into my office.

I feel the walls closing in. "Can you get Amanda"

* * *

**Three days later.**

Four more letters had arrived on my desk, each one had been passed over to be analysed by the techs, and I had overcome the shock with the help of Amanda and through talking to Hotch.

However, the dread and fear still laced my insides. Not only were we both his type though Amanda is 28, three years my senior. We all carried on as normal, I could not allow someone to make me fear my job, I refused to step back or allow Gideon to bench me, and this is part of the job.

In addition, like everything in my life I will deal with it head on and not allow the fear to control me.

We had managed to get some DNA off the letter, it was a lead, and with no more bodies we didn't have much, the post mark told us he was very local, we had checked as many post offices as we could and we now had a few more suspects within our grasps, they met the description of our unsub and we had begun to pull people in for questioning.

Everything was a paper trail, which made things worse.

One person losing a life was bad enough and too many, the sick minds that did these things always seemed to amaze me. Though watching these people in front of me I have learnt so much, some of the unsubs we had caught had gone through so much hardship in their lives, but still that was no reason to hurt or take another's life.

* * *

**Two days later.**

"Darling I am going to have to go in early this morning," Amanda called out as I was in the bathroom.

"Okay babe, can you ring Hotch and ask him to pick me up on his way past please?" I reply.

Her arms wrap around me as she kisses my cheek. "I have already rung him, he will be along in an hour"

I nod as I turn around "Thank you" I smile as I kiss her lips, "I love you" I whisper in her ear before she bids me goodbye.

I arrived at work that morning just after half past seven, as I walked into my office a bunch of red roses had been placed on my desk with a note attached. **'I look forward to us meeting my angel'** I hold back the bile, which has come into my throat before calling Hotch.

He places his gloves on as he takes the note. It was too early in the morning to have these delivered, the note was not typed as it normally was from the florist, the note had been hand written.

Had he been to my place of work? Had he made a mistake, would we finally be able to arrest the vile bastard? I had not settled fully since I had received the first note, and the fear still laced my body. Amanda had driven me to work each morning to help me settle slightly, before she would head to her department, which was in another building on site.

I had been trying to get hold of her for the past hour, but all I got was her voice mail! "Hotch," I call as I enter his office, my eyes went wide.

Two police officers where sat in front of him, his eyes seemed broken and hurt "Come in and take a seat please JJ" he says so softly, I look at him, as I take the seat on his couch. I wondered if they had found something an address, a fingerprint. Was this nightmare finally over.

The officers left so quickly as Hotch came and kneeled in front of me, I did not need telling, he did not need to even speak "No, please god no Hotch" I say in hope his eyes glisten with tears. My resolve broke. The tears broke my body shock uncontrollably.

"JJ, I am so sorry," he says so softly and I can hear the sadness in his voice.

"I need to see her" he looked so calm.

How could he be so calm, the door opened again as Gideon entered, his eyes were red as I looked at him. I knew in that moment my life had been forever changed. I had lost the most precious thing in my life, the woman I loved.

I couldn't control my action as my hand my contact with Hotch's face "Your lying, she can't be"

I didn't want to believe in, he looked so sadly at me as Gideon spoke "JJ, I am so sorry" again I shook my head.

"I want to see her" I watched as he looked at Hotch.

I could see the pain, which laced his face, "JJ," he tries.

Nevertheless, I need to see her, can they not understand that, she is my girlfriend for god's sake she is the love of my life. "Please, she can't be alone" I whisper. It is then Hotch wraps his arm around me in comfort as Gideon asks Hotch to drive me to the county morgue.

I cannot help vomiting again as I step out of the car, this was really happening, they would not do this to me. They would not allow me to go through this. "Are you sure it is Amanda?" I ask as Hotch rubs my back, before handing me a tissue.

"Gideon has been to the scene and identified" he could bring himself to say her body, to with I was grateful. "They need a formal identification" I knew they would and I was her next of kin.

I walked numbly into the cold room, Hotch never leaving my side as I look at her body lying on the slab, her eyes closed, I could see the formation of bruising on her face. My baby looked so peaceful. I walked closer, my fingers ran through her soft blonde hair, the smell of strawberries still lingered to her hair from this morning. My legs gave way as Hotch placed his arms around me holding me up.

In that moment everything changed, "Don't make me go home," I whispered as I leaned into him, gaining strength and comfort off him, tears that wracked my body. I look at the morgue attendant "Did he rape her" I need to know, I want to know. I want to place a bullet in the middle of his forehead, but I now want him to suffer as he nods his head.

* * *

I could not remember anything else from that day. I stayed with Hotch and Hayley that night. In addition, I was staying there until they had arrested him; they had a name and address. Swat was meeting, Gideon, Hotch and Roberts at the address. I wanted to see the bastard who had taken Amanda from me. Hotch told me it would not be a good idea. I think it was mainly because he knew I wanted to kill him, I wanted him to suffer but mainly I wanted Amanda to walk through the door and it all be one big nightmare. Nevertheless, it was not.


	3. Chapter 3

**Location: Home**

The drive home had been filled with silence, my heart hurt for her. I was meant to protect her, but how was I meant to protect her from this? How was I meant to offer comfort and tell her things would be okay? I could not help my mind dwelling over what I had read. I pulled the car into the driveway, switching the engine off before making my way around to Jennifer; I opened the door as I guided her out of the car and into our home.

"I am sorry," she said to me in a hushed voice as I closed the door behind us.

I pulled her close to me "You don't need to say sorry Jennifer," I said softly.

We all had things we had kept to ourselves and mine had nearly gotten me killed, but I could not fully understand why she had never told me. I was not mad at her for it; I will admit I am slightly mad at the rest of the team. Why on earth, had they not told me about this?

Hotch had told me to look after her soon after he found out that we were in a relationship with one another, but no one had ever said anything about her past. Deep down I knew why, it was not Hotch's place to tell me, and part of me thought back to everything I had been through with Doyle and Declan. Though I could not help the sight hurt feeling, I had inside.

Jennifer stayed close to my side as we walked through the house towards the kitchen, I knew she needed something stronger than a coffee and in truth so did I. Our nanny had taken Henry out for the day, so for now we were alone, and I am hoping I can use this time to find out everything I can about this person who killed Amanda. I will also do everything in my power to keep him behind the bars, which hold him, so that my sweet wife can once again sleep, safe.

"Em" for the third time in my life I heard my wife's voice broken and scared, it broke my heart.

In addition, as I looked into her deep blue orbs I could see the amount of pain and fear which laced inside her. I carefully passed her the tumbler, which consisted of a healthy shot of whiskey, which would put both of us over the limit to drive. However, right now, I do not care; I need to get my wife out of the catatonic state of shock.

I wait for her to speak again, I wish I could offer some comfort, but all I can do is be here for her. I rest my hand gently on her back as she takes a sip of the liquor.

"I can't go through this again Emily" her voice pleads with me, ripping through my heart. I feel lost for words but I manage to find my voice.

"I won't let anything happen to you Jennifer," I whisper softly as she leans into me.

"What if he gets out Em, what happens then?"

I place my lips against her head. "I will ring Hotch in a bit and see what he has found out and then we will take it from there" I wrap my arms around her tighter as she leans further into me.

"Don’t leave me," she says in a tearful voice to me.

I give her an extra squeeze "I am not going anywhere, let's go sit in the front room Jen," I say kindly.

I sit down before her pulling her down with me so she is able to lean into me, I want her to get some comfort, but also at the same time want her to talk to me and not shut me out.

"Are you mad at me?" her voice was so weak; again.

I placed my lips against her brow before I speak. "No, I am not mad. Slightly shocked that I did not know about any of this. That's all," I said honestly, to which she nodded against me.

We sit in silence for a while before JJ finds her voice. "He got 25 to life Emily! How on earth does this happen. Why would they even allow him to even go for early release, how!" her voice is slightly stronger now and I can feel and hear the anger in each word that is spoken.

"I don't know Jennifer but I promise I will find out" she nods against me slightly "Jen, you know you can talk to me about Amanda don't you?"

I hear her let out a dry chuckle "Talking to my wife about my girlfriend whom was killed, really Emily" I run my fingers through her hair slightly.

"Amanda was an important part of your life Jennifer, I am not going to feel threatened or anything, just if you would like to talk about her or anything, you know you can come to me" I can understand the fact that me wanting to know about her girlfriend maybe weird, but I also know how much she meant to Jennifer and that makes her matter to me.

I know how much she loves me and how much I love her, and as long as she does not shut me out fully, we are strong enough to face this together. I notice her breathing has slowed slightly, her eyes are closed she looks so peaceful, I kiss her forehead before I move her slightly so I am able to get up.

I had over the years become a master at this, many nights her falling asleep against me after a long case or a hard day at work. I pulled the blanket from over the back of the couch, placing it over her sleeping form before I made my way towards the den.

"Hotchner" he seemed so flustered when he answered it took me a moment to respond.

"Hotch, its Emily" I say. I know he can hear the worry in my tone and to be honest right now I do not care if he sees or hears this side of me.

"How is she doing?" he asks, I cannot help rolling my eyes.

"How do you think she is doing?" I wince internally knowing that I should not be speaking to him like this. In this tone.

I was honest when I told JJ I was not mad at her, but as for Hotch, I am mad at him because he could have told me this, he could have warned me. He missed this massive detail out when he gave me the whole father daughter speech about not hurting her.

"Emily, I am sorry" I can hear the genuine tone in his voice but that does not stop me being angry with him.

"Why did you never tell me?" I knew the answer, it was the same answer I had given him when they found out some of my past, not including the undercover work I had done.

"It was not really my place, and I always thought JJ would tell you in time" I knew he was being honest.

I could not help the half-hearted chuckle that left my lips "There is a big difference between someone being killed, and them being raped and murdered by an unsub you were profiling" I said dryly before apologising soon after.

"Hotch, how is he managing to go up for early parole?"

I hear him sigh slightly. "He was transferred to a federal prison in Texas back in 1996."

I frown slightly "And this effects his sentence because?" I tried to think back and try to remember what I knew about the Texas law system. However, right now my mind was too much focused on my wife.

"Texas law states that he can apply for early release, but Emily it does not mean it will be granted,"

I want to throw my phone, the second he said that. "I thought they had amended that," I muttered slightly.

"They have, from what I have managed to find out, he has been the model prisoner, and the problem is Emily, even if that gets denied he will be able to try again under compassionate grounds."

My eyes go wide. "Hotch if that is the case, that means he either is going to die within 18 months which would be a blessing" I added through my gritted teeth "Or he has been deemed not a danger due to a disability or illness" I add.

I knew Hotch knew this, his is after all a lawyer. However, this also meant he knew how bad this could go. The only good side is we had six months to build a case to either make sure he wouldn't get released or have an order in place so he would never be able to step foot in the state which we lived in even if we moved.

However, the options that we had I did not like any of them, in truth each one would unsettle Jennifer even more than she already is. Each one would open a wound, which had long since healed over. However, this had ripped the wound wide open again and my heart was breaking for her.

"Emily" his voice a lot softer than normal "I will call if I find anything else out, but for now"

I cut him off slightly "For now I will take care of my wife and if we do not hear off you tonight we will be in tomorrow as always" he seems taken back slightly.

"Emily if JJ feels she is unable to come in I will understand"

I couldn't help laugh "And you know my wife Aaron, there is no way she will stay home because of this" I point out as he agrees with me.

* * *

**Location: BAU**

**A week later**

We sat in the conference room each with our own glass as Jennifer was finally able to relax, it had been denied, though he was going to go for an appeal, the department lawyers had put in strict terms if he was ever released thankfully. This meant we could relax for six months until the next hearing.

The knock on the conference room door pulled our attentions away from the news we had just been given. "Agent Prentiss a word please."

I looked at her for a moment "Yes Ma'am," I say as I look at the team, both Hotch and Jennifer's face had the same look on concern across their eyes. I gave a half smile as I closed the door behind me making my way to the section chief's office.

"With all due respect Ma'am, you cannot make me do this, if I do not agree" I said my temper flaring slightly.

"It isn't me who has asked for you, my hands are tied, it is either you or Agent Jareau."

I stop myself at the mention of Jennifer's name, there is no way I would allow her to do something like this "And with all due respect Ma'am Agent Jareau has" I look at her as the realisation hits me.

Her whole body seems to change, her voice softer as she speaks "Emily, I am so sorry, I have tried everything but if I cannot get you to do this they will make JJ,"

I look at her, the joy from earlier had left me and I cannot help the tears well in my eyes. "She is going to kill me" I whisper slightly, before shaking away the impending doom that would be the full force of my wife's temper.

"When do I leave?" I ask and I know she can hear the sadness in my voice "And how long for?" I watch as she tries to give me a slight smile but it only just reaches the outer corners of her lips.

"You have to report to the CIA Monday. The time scale they are looking at is three to four months, even if the operations runs over you will be brought back at the end of the four months." I nod not even talking as I walk slightly defeated back into the bullpen.

I watch them through the blinds for a moment **'At least I know he won't be out before I get back'** I allow that thought to settle me, I know my wife is going to want to kill either me, Strauss and the CIA, but this was out of our hands and way above Strauss's pay grade.

I swallow slightly as I enter the conference room. My eyes lock with Jennifer's before I look at Hotch. "Can I have a word please Hotch" I ask, as I try and give Jennifer a reassuring smile before we both head to his office so I can explain everything that I had been told and the order I had been given.

"Hotch, look after her for me," I near enough beg, the thought of leaving my wife and my children was already breaking my heart and I had yet to tell my wife what was going on.

We walked back into the room as everyone's eyes fell on us both "What's going on?" Jennifer asked me as she came towards me. I take her hands in mine as I bring her hand up to my lips placing a soft kiss upon them.

I look at Hotch who gives me the slight nod, he would deal with the team, I would face my wife on my own in her office, and her gun is still attached to her holster. This should go well.

"Can I borrow you Jen?" I ask as I move towards the door to which she follows me.

"Emily what's going on" she asks once her office door is closed.

The tears came first after explaining it three times though I do not think she has fully listened to me.

"Why the hell did you say yes Emily, where in your mind did you think saying yes would be for the fucking best?" she now screamed at me. I did not want to tell her everything, which Strauss had said. Though now I needed her to understand that I did not have a choice.

"If I said no Jennifer they would make you do this. It is above Strauss's pay grade" I plead with her.

"FOUR FUCKING MONTHS! FOUR MONTHS Emily!" she now screams at me and I know she is just holding back the tears.

I look at her sadly, as I wrap my arms around her tightly "I am so sorry Jennifer, I love you so much," I whisper as she calms slightly in my arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have researched the laws about early release, though the only thing I did was change the year. Therefore, for those who want to know this…. This is based on a Texas mandatory release law, enacted in 1977, that says all convicted criminals must be automatically released after a certain amount of time has passed and the prisoner completes "good conduct time" participating in work and self-improvement programs,. The law has since been amended to exclude violent criminals, but it still applies to anyone convicted of any crime before 1987.  
> In addition, the compassionate grounds for release are based on New York's state laws. However, if you want more insight be best to research it in more detail a lot of grey area surrounding it, also different ages, and different circumstances, which would allow this.


	4. Chapter 4

**Family Time.**

**Location: BAU**

**Day: Monday morning.**

I loosen my hold on Jennifer as the knock on her office door distracts me for a moment, I move so I can look into her eyes, which hold more pain and worry than I have ever seen before, I can't help the sad look I give her. Have I let her down again? I know this is going to hurt our children yet again, how many times do our lives need to be spun into an abyss of blankness?

"I don't want you to go" Jennifer pleads with me and my heart breaks not just for her but also for our family again.

"I know sweetheart and I don't want to either" I sigh slightly "I wish I had a choice darling I really do."

The fact is I would have rather turned in my badge than go on any type of undercover mission, but if I did that then my beautiful wife would be thrown into the deep dank underworld. The protective side of me would never allow that to happen. She is too sweet and loving to even see the things that happen there and I also knew deep down it would destroy her. The gentle knocking sound pulls me again from my thoughts as I place a loving kiss on her lips before calling out for whomever it is to enter.

"Is it true?" Garcia asks as soon as she opens the door. I can only nod as Jennifer slumps into the chair, I give Garcia an apologetic look, as I wrap my arm around the one thing in this world that grounds me and makes me whole.

"This can't be happening" I hear Jennifer whisper. "It was bad enough when you went undercover on that ranch. It was horrible when I had to pretend you was dead. And this, Emily is as though they are playing a sick game with your life. How dare they, how dare they take you away again." The anger that leaves her lips makes my resolve break slightly, tears well deep in my eyes and I cannot hold them in as they slip down my cheek.

"I…Jen," I cannot get my words I need to use to leave my mouth, I look at her more blankly than I ever have done, I feel numb and at what stage do I fill her in on what I have to do? Alternatively, would it be best not to allow her to hear what I will be doing? What the hell do I do!

All I do know is I need out of this room, I need air; I need to breath and not be consumed with the amount of guilt I feel inside me. I have let my wife down again, have I also let the team down? I swallow back the bile, which is rising, in my throat and it is at that point I bolt for the door. Running towards the bathroom.

A hand rests on my back as I lose my breakfast, the cake we had eaten in celebration that he had been denied his release, she pulls my hair away from my face as I slump over the basin.

"Oh, Emily" I hear her whisper softly as her strong body sits behind me, I gladly lean into her as we give each other some comfort.

"Jen, forgive me" I almost beg as the bile rises again burning my throat as the vomit slips from my mouth. "This can't be happening," I say in a hushed voice.

I know Jennifer understands why I cannot allow her to do this and she knows that even though I can promise to come back in one piece physically it does not mean that my mental state will come back the same.

"Em, I am going to see if we can leave, will you be okay with Morgan?"

My eyes go slightly wide as I turn my head seeing my partner standing against the door, watching over me, these are the only two people in the world I fully trust with my life. I know the team have my back and care for me but both these two people would give their lives for me, I nod as Jennifer's arms leave my side I hear the words she whispers to Morgan and I cannot help but smile.

"Look after her till I get back."

I know he would not have been told everything and as he speaks, I cannot help the tears rolling down my face again. "Why on earth did you agree princess?"

I look at him sadly "It was either me or Jennifer" I reply as I watch the realisation take over his face.

"This is wrong Emily, have they not put you through enough" it warms me that even now he is still protective and not angry with me. I hear the door handle turn and a slight gasp and I know someone has walked through the door.

"You do know this is the ladies restroom Agent" for the first time since walking into Strauss's office, I let out a slight laugh.

"Yes, Ma'am" he looks back at me before he turns and speaks to the other woman again. "Could you please just give us a moment?" he asks so kindly, as I finally find my feet.

He knows I would never allow anyone else to see this side of me and that includes the rest of our team, the door closes again as I cannot help but chuckle.

"Well that is going to start a nice rumour."

I hear him laugh "An even worse rumour if she sees us both walking out of here together." he says helping me to my feet.

* * *

**Location: Home.**

**Day: Late Monday morning**

The drive home was made in silence both of us just lost in our own minds. The front door slams behind us as we make our way through the hall, though before we have chance to enter into the kitchen a whirl wind comes running down the hallway.

"MAMA," Henry holler's as I scoop him up into my arms, Jennifer knows this is going to kill me more than anything. How on earth do we explain this to our children?

Jennifer ruffles his hair as I carry him back into the playroom, "I love you little man" I whisper as I place a soft kiss on his cheek, before placing him on the ground and closing the safety gate.

"We won't be long" I say softly as he looks at me and Jennifer.

"Mommy?" she gives him a loving smile, which again rips my heart in two.

"We will be back once we have got changed Henry" she says in a soft voice, which is laced with tears.

"What do I tell them Jennifer" I look at her pleading in a hope that she will know what to say and do, or even handle this. I guess it is better than last time I disappeared for months, because I will not be pretending to be dead.

"We tell them the truth," Jennifer said as she placed the steaming hot mug of coffee in front of me.

"They are going to hate me" I point out looking at her.

"No they will not hate you, they will be confused and upset and Amy maybe slightly angry, but we will deal with it together as a family. And we will make the most of the time we have before you have to go" she gives me a soft and reassuring smile.

The only thing that gives me some comfort is that I have a whole week with my family, but it isn't enough, the six months I was gone last time had ripped my heart and soul in two, the only thing that was better is the fact that we could explain it to them properly this time and I would face the anger and hurt of my children, with my wife at my side. Though we both knew, it was going to tear our family apart.

"Amy will be home at three, let's go and spend some time with that little boy who dotes on you," Jennifer says as she wraps her arms around me.

"Jennifer, you know if I had a choice I wouldn't be doing this" I whisper as she pulls me closer placing a soft kiss on my cheek.

"We will deal with our children first and then we will talk about this in detail. I need and want to know exactly what you will be doing and I do not care if you have been sworn to fucking secrecy this time. I need to know, do you understand me Emily"

I know she is angry and I am not sure if the anger is aimed at me or the situation, that we had been dealt. All I can do is nod, knowing that when I tell her everything I best make sure her gun is in the safe.

I had to laugh as I sat with Jennifer leaned into my side and Henry curled up on my lap, though it also filled me with sadness. When I finally came home, would his favourite film still be the lion king or will it have changed? Would Amy have a boyfriend or will her grades suffer because of this? The thoughts swirled in my mind like a tidal wave of pain and anger.

We heard the door open and slam shut again I heard Jennifer sigh slightly "One day she will learn how to close a door"

I smiled slightly. "At least we will always know when she has come home" I offer up as Amy looks at us over the gate.

"Lion king again?"

I laugh slightly "You know he loves it" I replied as she muttered something about hiding it and over 100 times of watching it.

"What's for dinner Mom?" I shake my head slightly

"I swear she only thinks of food and nothing else." To which Jennifer groans.

"What if we run out of food do you think she would throw a fit" Jennifer teases

"More than likely eat her brother" I mock as we both laugh slightly.

"I heard that Mother" came the voice of my daughter.

"You were meant to hear it" I say as I smile at her.

"I doubt he has much meat on his bones anyway Ma" she jokes. It was nice the playful side of us before I dropped the bombshell on them both. Nevertheless, for right now we could have this moment to relax and bathe in the love of our children.

"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOUR STUPID JOB!" Amy screamed at me as we explained, well we tried to explain, though in honesty I think Amy only heard that I was leaving for four months and would not be allowed contact.

"You do this every time, you don't think of me, Henry or Mom. DO YOU!" I held the tears back as I let my daughter's anger spiral out towards me. "I HOPE YOU DON'T COME BACK, you don't care about us do you."

I look at her in total shock, did she really hate me that much, could she not understand it was me or Jennifer and the fact I didn't want to do this.

"That is enough Amy," Jennifer shouted as Amy looked at her, the hurt which laced my daughters face broke my heart "Don't you ever say that to your mother or me for that matter" Amy looked at her, the anger drifted off her in waves, like a knife ripping through my skin.

* * *

I do not know who was more shocked as we watched Amy storm out of the room her parting words lingered in the air. "She hopes I" my words falter slightly as Henry now clings to me. He is slightly too young to understand but I can hear the quiet sobs as his body shakes slightly.

"Don't go mama" he cries out.

It is in this moment I wonder if our family will ever be the same when I finally come back. I can see the amount of hurt and anger lacing my wife's face and I know it is not just to do with me going away, it is something much deeper.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hurt, Anger and Expectance.**

**Location: Home**

**Day: Late Monday Evening.**

"I'll go" Jennifer says softly to me, and all I can do is nod as Henry wraps himself further into me.

"Did I do wrong Mama?" Henry asks through his tears.

"No buddy you have done nothing wrong" I pull him as close as I can, I softly kiss his forehead.

"Why go Mama?"

I close my eyes slightly, how to I explain to a four year old that I am being forced, to go away and that it was either me or Jennifer, whom went. I shudder internally at the sheer thought of Jennifer going undercover.

"It's for work buddy," I say as he nods against my chest.

* * *

I breathed deeply as I knocked on our daughter’s door "Amy can I come in please?"

I wait for a response, I can hear the cries through the door as I open it slowly looking at her curled up in the bed, clinging to the teddy Emily had brought her when she was seven. I hated our children being so upset. Though at the same time I was hurt and angry with her, I knew she did not mean it but to wish her mother dead was the lowest blow ever. It would make everything so much harder when Emily would finally come back home to us.

I walk over to her sitting on the bed near her, my fingers running down her back in comfort, I had not done this action for years. The tears came with such force that I knew she would not be able to talk or answer me. Her whole body shook as her heart broke again, this is the third time I have seen her like this. The first time was when Reid was kidnapped and I had been hurt, the second time was when Emily was kidnapped and Garcia let it slip, and the third time was when we faked Emily's death. At least this time we had some time to get use to the idea and Emily was able to tell us.

"Oh Amy" My heart breaks as she is now clinging to me as though I am her only lifeline, how can I be angry with her she doesn't understand all she can see is her Ma is leaving us again.

The tears subside into hiccups "I hate her Mom" she lets out in a sob.

"No you don't hate her, you are angry and you have every right to be hurt and angry Amy" I say softly as my fingers run through her hair.

"She is leaving me again Mom," I smile sadly at her as her face buries more into my neck.

"Amy, I need you to listen to me okay" I feel her nod against me "Your Ma doesn't want to go Amy, but she has to do this, this is part of the job no one wants to do" I whisper.

"How are okay with this Mom"

I let out a dry chuckle "Who said I was okay with it?" I say slightly firmer than I meant to.

"Does she not love us any more Mom, she comes back, she leaves, how is this fair Mom," Amy says as the sobs rip through her body.

I cannot reply because she is right it is not fair, we had only just started to heal from the last time Emily had left. "I…hope she dies"

My eyes go wide, the second time in one night she has said the most hurtful thing. Not just towards Emily but it also hurts me I pull back so I can look into her eyes. I try not to let my anger come out but it does.

"Amy Lea Prentiss, don't you ever say that about you Ma, me or anyone for that matter, losing someone you love is the worst thing in the whole world" she looks at me, I can't help but be disgusted with her slightly.

"It would be easier than her just leaving!" she replies as she looks at me.

I shake my head in response "Trust me Amy it isn't easy," she frowns at me slightly as I move the long dark hair which has fallen across her face tucking it behind her ear.

"At least she wouldn't keep abandoning us Mom" I can see the anger burning in her eyes, it is the same look which Emily gets sometimes. They are both as stubborn as each other are, though it is at this moment I let her know how hard losing someone you love is.

"Before I met your Ma, I was in a long term relationship with a woman, her name was Amanda" I watch as she looks at me.

"What happened Mom?" I sigh slightly as my fingers run across her cheek.

"She died,"

Amy looks at me her eyes wide "How?"

I smile sadly at her, "She died because of my job Amy, and believe me when I say I still hold myself responsible for her death. I loved her and it hurts every day, but that does not mean I love you or your Ma any differently you are my family and you and Henry are our children."

The sound and voice made me jump slightly "It wasn't your fault Jennifer" Emily said, I looked at her, her eyes held so much hurt and pain inside them I wanted to wrap her in my arms and never let go.

"Where's Henry?" I ask as she makes her way into the room, her hand instantly coming towards me as she runs her fingers through my hair.

"I just put him down" Emily says sadly, as she looks at Amy. I move away from Amy as I unwrap her from her arms. My hand rests on Emily's shoulder I give her a gentle squeeze before leaving them alone.

* * *

"Amy" I say carefully, as I look into dark brown eyes, which are covered in redness with tears.

"Ma, am sorry" I close my eyes slightly before sitting next to her, she wraps herself into me.

"I know princess" I sit there holding her trying to give her some sort of comfort and the love and understanding she needs.

"Why did you say yes Ma?" she asks, her voice sounded weak more weak than I have ever heard it.

"They would have made your Mom go if I didn't Amy and I can't and couldn't allow that, I don't want to have her in a position like that" she frowns slightly at me.

"Ma what exactly are you going undercover for"

I shake my head slightly. "I wish I could tell you darling" I sigh as she nods her head slightly at me. I hold her for a while before I notice she has fallen asleep in my arms. I gently lay her down and pull the covers over her.

"Give her time Emily" I look seeing Jennifer leaned against the doorframe as I make my way out of the room closing the door gently behind me.

* * *

We make our way into the den the furthest part of the house away from any prying ears Jennifer closes the door before handing me a much need scotch "Emily I want to know everything and when I say everything I mean it. From where you may be going and what exactly, they want you to do. Or so help me god."

I hold up my hand stopping her from finishing "You're so not going to like this" I say sadly as I look away.

I hear her scoff slightly "I already don't like this Emily" she points out, yes I am about to nail my own coffin lid shut. I swallow unable to meet her gaze "Emily" she says in a hushed voice though I can hear the worry laced in that one word. I sigh slightly before placing my glass down and taking hold of her hand.

"You remember what I use to do when I worked for the CIA and Interpol?" I ask knowing that she will not have forgotten.

"Yes nearly got you killed a few times if I remember and that does not include" she stops my sentence "You… I…"

I shake my head knowing what she is thinking, "No Jennifer, I will not be doing that" I say looking straight into her eyes. "There is a trafficking ring, not just children but drug and guns" she nods as I sigh slightly "From what Strauss has told me, they want me to yet again be an arms dealer." I close my eyes slightly "And because they know I can do it" she rolls her eyes at me

"You're going to?" I nod to the silent question.

"Yes Lauren will be my cover name again" I look down as I start to pick at my nails

"Oh, baby" her hand gently cups her cheek fully understanding how they managed to get me to agree.

"I couldn't let them take you Jen" I look at her sadly, as she stills my hands.

"I know" she lets out in a whisper.

"I have to get as close to the ring leader as I can" I swallow as I see the clogs click into place in her mind.

"No, not again Emily, it will destroy you"

I shake my head slightly "The only way it will destroy me Jennifer is if I lose you" I plead with her slightly feeling disgusted with myself.

"You listen to me Emily okay." I nod as her fingers cup my cheek "You do what you have to do to stay alive. On one condition" I nod, as I lean into her touch "You do not bring another Ian Doyle into our lives at a later date."

I laugh dryly lacking all the emotion, "I won't, I won't be getting that close again Jennifer I pro" she cuts me off

"Don't promise that Emily, you do what you have to do to stay alive and come back to us" I nod slightly.

* * *

**Location: Rossi's**

**Day: Friday Night.**

The past few days had all rolled into one, Henry clung to me never leaving my side. Amy had become withdrawn as though she was distancing herself so it would not hurt as much when I had finally gone and I could understand that. However, I missed my daughter. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and tell her everything would be okay and that I would be home as soon as I could.

Jennifer was quiet but stayed close to me holding on to me and trying to keep herself together, we had made love each night and every night I would hold her as she cried herself to sleep, my heart is broken and torn in two. I hated what I was doing to my family and what I was going to put them through once I had gone. Jennifer would not be able to keep in touch with me as she had done when my death had been faked.

Nevertheless, here we were with the team, it felt like they were all saying a final goodbye to me, I watched as Jack and Henry ran around outside playing. I felt a hand rest on my shoulder.

"I am going to miss this" I whispered.

"You will be back before you know it Prentiss."

I shook my head slightly before looking at my partner "You will look after them won't you" I ask him.

"You know I will," he says kindly as Amy makes her way over to us both.

"Ma?" I smile softly as Morgan disappears allowing me sometime alone with her "Can we go for a walk?" she asks, her voice slightly unsure.

"Of course princess" I say as my eyes lock with Jennifer's, she nods at me before I take Amy's hand in mine as we walked away from our friends and family.

"Ma?" I smile at her slightly as we walk along the grass; we can no long hear the laughter and shouts of the team or the children.

"Yes baby."

She stops as she looks at me. "Ma what will happen if something happens to you" the tears well deep in her eyes and I can't help but frown slightly.

"What do you mean?" I ask not realising what she was thinking what she had been so scared to ask me.

"I didn't mean it when I said I didn't want you to come back,"

I smile at her "I know you didn't" she shakes her head slightly.

"What if you don't come back Ma, what will happen to me?"

I look at her in slight shock. "You will stay with your Mom" I frown slightly.

"What if Grandmother tries to take me" I can see the fear laced in her eyes. Neither one of us really got along with my Mother.

"Do you remember, when we took you to that court house, you would have been around nine going on ten"

She shakes her head at me slightly "I vaguely remember Ma"

I smile softly "Do you remember Jennifer adopting you" this time she nods.

"Happiest day of my life Ma" I smile as I wipe a tear from her cheek.

"No matter what happens, you will stay with your Mom and Henry" she looks at me worried

"But what if?"

I place a kiss on her cheek "Your Mom is your legal guardian baby no one can take you away from her I promise."

For the first time this week, her arms wrap around me, a sob wrecks through her body as she speaks "You come home alive Ma, please" I can only nod. I do not want to promise her something I may not be able to keep.

"I want you to do me two things though Amy," I look at her as she nods her head

"Okay"

I smile slightly. "You have any worries you talk to your Mom" she nods

"What's the second?"

I smile as I run my fingers across her cheek "You look after your brother and you keep your Mom smiling for me."

I watch as she smiles sadly at me "You don't need to ask that Ma" I nod slightly.

"And you know you can ring anyone of them at any time don't you" I say as I look back at the team.

"Yeah Morgan has already given me the whole big brother speech"

I cannot help but laugh "That I imagine" I say with a wink.

"What about when Mom has to go away with the team?" Amy asks me her eyes looking worried.

"Your old nanny is coming to stay" I knew that, that would help settle her more than anything I could ever say to her at this point as we make our way back to them.

* * *

**Location: Home**

The team had left us alone all weekend which was nice in a way, we had spent as much time as we could together as a family, fitting as much happiness as we could manage into two days, laughter filled the house, though you could also feel the sadness and worry that laid in each of us.

I held Jennifer that night neither one of us able to sleep, "I wish you didn't have to go" Jennifer whispered as I played with her hair.

"I don't want to have to go either my sweet girl" I whispered placing my lips softly against her head.

"I don't want you to say goodbye Em, goodbye is forever, please," she says as a sob rips through her body.

"Then I will say see you soon" I pull her close "I will always come home to you Jennifer."


	6. Chapter 6

**Missing Emily.**

**Location: BAU**

**Month: February.**

It has been one full month since I had last laid eyes on my beloved wife; Henry would run to the door each time I returned home from work, only to look at me before heading back into the house. Amy would sulk around most days and it was not just, because she is a teenager it is because like everyone else she misses Emily.

I had spent most of the time at work or trying to keep our children in the routine, and with the help of Casey, it was easier. However, it never stopped Henry from crying for his Mama or Amy staring at the picture of us as a family for hours.

I had to hold everything together, because I knew if they saw me fall they would as well. I had to keep strong for them, and for Emily. The nights are the worst: again I am sleeping alone, no protective arm around me, no extra warmth to stop the cold air attacking my body.

I would wake early to find the bed covered with two extra bodies each one of us hurting for different reasons.

But still life goes on, just because Emily is away, it hasn't stopped the cases from piling up in my office and in a sense it helps take my mind off the gaping whole which is within our home. Declan would call most times wanting to know where she was.

That was the main problem was none of us knew where she was, I just kept going through the motions telling the children she would be home soon, and that she had to go and catch some really bad guys.

Though in truth I was unsure if she would come home to us, or if she did come home, would I get my wife back or a vacant shell.

* * *

"JJ?" Morgan said as he knocked on the door pulling me from the file, which lay before me.

I gave him a soft smile. "Yes?" I can tell straight away that I am not going to like what he is about to say.

"Hotch wants us in the conference room in five."

I sigh slightly "Case?" he nods "I will just finish this then I'll be in" I reply with a slight smile.

I make a quick phone call letting Casey know that I may not be home tonight and I will ring to speak with the children later if they are still awake. I can't help but smile even though each of us is struggling we are all still trying to hold the flood gates back till she returns.

* * *

I close the door before taking my seat near the front; Garcia is already there the remote in her hand as she tells us that she has loaded the reports onto our tablets.

"Salem has a slight problem and not involving witches" Garcia muses as she turns the screen on, even now she looks away as the pictures of two families fill the screen.

"The bodies of Ann, her son Anthony and daughter Emma Derby were found two days ago, there has been no sign of forced entry," Garcia said as more pictures filled the screen.

"Where is the dad?" Morgan asked as we looked at the reports.

"Samuel Derby, his body was found in the living room." I could not help but look puzzled at the pictures, which lay before us. It looked as though it was a suicide; dad kills his family and takes his own life.

"Are you sure it wasn't the dad, who has done this?" I couldn’t help ask the question, though looking at Reid and Morgan they were thinking the same.

"That is what the local police thought, until the early hours of this morning, another family has been found." Garcia said as she pulled the pictures of the second family up onto the screen.

"And the dad?" Rossi asked.

"His body was discovered in the kitchen" she replied as I began to look at the medical reports.

"We leave for Salem in thirty minutes," Hotch said as we all evacuated the room each heading to our desks to double check our go-bags before the drive to the air stip.

"JJ how is everything?" Garcia asked leaning against the doorframe to my office, I couldn't help but shake my head slightly.

"Everything is fine" I gave her a slight smile, though the look on her face told me she hadn't brought it.

The team seemed to be more protective over me each one looking out for me in their own way although I began to wonder if they had forgotten, that I am an adult or the fact I had to do this for six months when they thought Emily was dead. I know it is out of concern, is it wrong that my only concern is the two people I have waiting for me back at my home.

I know Emily will return but my worry is how much damage will have been inflicted on our children and on her mental state. Not one of them saw how much damage faking her own death had caused her. They only saw the strong guarded Emily, which we all know and love. It was me that had to pick up her shattered heart and help with the anger that came off our children not anyone else.

* * *

**Location: BAU Jet.**

"Could we be looking for a family annihilator?" I ask, as I look through the autopsy.

"It looks like it might be." Morgan says.

"It would make more sense, but also it could be someone that both families knew, since there does not seem to be any signs of a break in" Rossi said as we all huddled in the middle of the jet drawing ideas.

"Reid what is it?" I ask, as his face seems fixated on part of the file.

"They found syrup of ipecac, chloral-hydrate, prussic acid and a bottle of powder labelled Morphia" we all looked at him slightly confused.

"Syrup of ipecac was traditionally used in cases of poisoning because it caused vomiting in most people after only one dose as it not only stimulates the stomach, but also the vomiting centre in the brain. Results were generally produced within 20 minutes. If there was no action, typically a second dose was administered (this is an orally administered drug) which almost always produced results. Some of the problems associated with the use of syrup of ipecac to treat cases of poisoning include the danger of a patient aspirating vomitus, the amount of time it usually takes for results to be produced, and the relative ineffectiveness of the drug to empty more than 1/3 of the contents of the stomach. Syrup of ipecac is rarely used today by emergency medical services as a treatment for cases of poisoning."

"So in other words not many people use it" Morgan said.

Reid shook his head slightly, "Activated charcoal has replaced syrup of ipecac on almost every ambulance because of the superior results produced in cases of poisoning that would have traditionally been treated with syrup of ipecac. It is considered a drug by health care providers and is different from regular charcoal in that the manufacturing process produced the cracks and crevices that exist in the activated form. They started using activated charcoal about three years ago" he paused slightly

"Chloral hydrate is a sedative, and is used in the short-term treatment of insomnia and to relieve anxiety and induce sleep before surgery. It is also used after surgery for pain and to treat alcohol withdrawal." Reid took a breath for a moment.

"So we could be looking at someone with a medical background?" I asked to which he nodded.

"We could be" Reid said as he still looked at the medical report in front of him.

"What about prussic acid?" Morgan asked,

"Prussic acid, also known as hydrogen cyanide or HCN, is a chemical compound both useful and dangerous. Although it is naturally present in some plants, prussic acid can also be synthesized through a variety of chemical processes. While the substance is useful in many industries, it is also deadly poisonous to humans and has been used as a chemical weapon." Reid replied with a slight shrug.

"So in other words most people can get hold of it?" I asked as I read the report as well noting the other injury's which had been inflicted.

"The uses of prussic acid in industry are varied. Engraving, explosives and dye processes all make use of HCN. Historically, it has also been used in vermin or insect poisons, but has recently been replaced with materials less toxic to humans. The United States is one of the leading producers of prussic acid for industrial purposes."

Morgan shook his head slightly "So that would be a yes" I smiled as Reid blushed slightly.

"And Morphia would be morphine?" I asked slightly puzzled I had never come across it labelled like that.

Reid nodded. "Morphia is the Latin word for morphine" I watch, as he frowns slightly

"Why would a pharmacy not just put morphine on the label?" I ask

Reid gives a half smile at me. "In England most medication is issued using the Latin wording, so with that being said it would not surprise me if that bottle had been brought over by someone." Reid said with a slight shrug.

"So we are looking for someone who may or may not be from England?" Morgan asked, as we all looked at Reid slightly confused, he rolled his eyes slightly.

"No it does not mean that at all, what it does mean is that, the bottle may have come from England and it could have been left behind or someone could have taken it"

I watched as Reid became quite I did not need to ask what was wrong because we all knew; he missed Emily deeply and more so when we were on a case. The two of them just bounce off each other in truth, Emily understands his mind much more than we do and she manages to break it down without Reid feeling embarrassed about it.

"Someone with medical knowledge," I say softly.

"The unsub would have had to have been licensed at some point and I would think they had either left the profession a few years back or they had their own supply at home." I nod just as Garcia fills the screen.

"Garcia, can you run a search for medical professionals that have been dismissed for negligent" Reid asked before anyone had a chance to speak.

"That could be a long list" Garcia commented.

"Go back three months, for now please" he asked softly.

"What are you thinking Reid?" I asked as the screen went blank.

"You couldn't just get hold of these drugs and know what they are used for, and if you were planning on just killing someone you wouldn't bring syrup of ipecac unless you wanted to reverse the effects of the other drugs" he said.

We all quietened down some as Hotch spoke "Reid, you and JJ go to the station and start working on the geographical profile. Morgan and Rossi can you both go to the crime scenes, while I go to the morgue and I’ll see if I can get some more information from the coroner" We all nod as we return to our seats each one of us still looking through the reports on each family.


	7. Chapter 7

**A turn in events.**

**Location: Salem.**

I walked into the station introducing myself and Reid and letting them know where the rest of the team where. The officer in charge showed us where we were able to set up as Reid began to pin the map up on the board.

The victim's pictures scattered the board, Reid was busy pinpointing the locations of each crime. There was just one problem and it really is a sad state of affairs when you need more victims than you already have. Just so you are able to narrow down the unsubs comfort area.

"Welcome how may I direct your call" the chirpy voice of Garcia came through the speaker.

"Garcia can you look through the financials of Derby and Matthews for us and email us what you find please?" I ask

"Anything for you kitten"

I shake my head slightly as Reid looked at me, his eyebrow raises slightly "Don't even think about it Spencer" I warn slightly he nods before he turns back around.

"What are you thinking JJ?" he asks as I start to run through the families background

"That they have to have something in common" I shrug half hoping they are not just random victims. Both families had been experiencing difficult times, Samuel had recently been made redundant, but the children had not seemed to suffer through the stress he was under.

Andrew Matthews had been finically sound until medical bills had taken a big percentage of his money; they were struggling to meet their payments and were close to financial ruin.

* * *

**Location: Morgue.**

There had been no signs of violence and none of the victims seemed to have struggled. Their hand seemed to be clenched tightly, their pupils were widely dilated and you could still see the signs of froth on their mouths. The jaws of the mother and father were clenched, and their tongues protruded a little from their mouths. The mother had bitten through her tongue, causing it to bleed. The children had clear signs that they vomited. These were all clear indicators that the family had been poisoned. The blood work had confirmed Dr Wilson's theory.

“The contents of their stomachs still contained traces of prussic acid.” Hotch nodded as he listened to the Dr explain his findings. "I did however find something that each victim had on their skin"

Dr Wilson explain as he moved the hair exposing behind the ear to what looked like a small cross with a serpent wrapping around it as the head seemed to lay on the diagonal part of the cross.

"Do you mind if I take a picture of that?" Hotch asked, it looked more like a brand of some description and he was hoping Reid had seen it somewhere before if not he knew Garcia would be able to find something on a search.

* * *

**Location: Police Station Salem.**

"Reid do you think," I paused slightly as I looked at the transactions of both families.

"What is it JJ?" he asked me as I line both papers together.

"The male victims both had an unknown substance in their bodies; they also had large deposits transferred into their accounts. Though it didn't seem to help any with their financial problems," I mused slightly. The vibration of Reid's phone stopped him from answering.

"What is it?" I asked noticing the look upon Reid's face.

"Interesting" he murmured slightly as I continued to look at him.

"Do you feel like sharing?" I asked giving him a bemused look. He handed me his phone, as I looked at the marking that Hotch had sent him. "Medical?" he gave me a soft kind smile before he began to speak.

"It's a Medical Cross: Rod of Asclepius - The snake has been the symbol of a number of deities associated with healing, such as the Greek god Asclepius (Latin: Aesculapius), the son of Apollo. The symbolism of the staff is authority and the snake means rebirth, due to its skin shedding. This symbol is now used by several medical associations and companies."

I gave him a pointed look "You couldn't have just said yes, could you" I muse causing him to blush slightly.

I shake my head slightly we had all thought before about it being medical with what Reid has said about the drugs being found. The sums of money, which had been placed into their accounts, were of different amounts.

"Could the payments be because of an over payment?" I ask as I circle the $4000.00 and the $1500.00, which had been placed into the accounts. Derby had been given the most amount but again it did not really help the companies which had made the payments were different.

"It could have been" again he gives me that smile, one that is covered in pain.

"She will be back soon Reid" I said softly.

"But will she still be Emily when she does come back JJ?"

I could not help but chuckle "You mean guarded, stubborn and the sarcasm? I doubt that will ever leave her" I give him a kind smile but that is my worry as well. The work helps to take away the blankness only to be covered up by another type of blankness and I am unsure at this point, which is worse.

"You come up with anything?" the voice comes through the door followed by Morgan

"We are still leading with medical since Hotch found this mark on each victim, just behind the ear" they nod taking a seat.

"What did you find at the crime scene?" I ask.

Rossi lets out a sigh "A whole lot of nothing, well nothing that will be any help" he said taking a seat and pulling one of the files towards him.

"No sign of forced entry, no sign of a struggle. Each room is spotless as though no one lived there" Morgan said.

"Spotless?" Reid muttered though none of us took much notice as he began to scribble on the whiteboard, though it looked more like a puzzle that only he could understand or one that Emily would understand as well. I cannot help my thoughts always leading towards her, they comfort me in some way. I know she will be home soon and if I keep at this pace then the time will surely fly.

"Are you guys okay if I just go and make a phone call?" I say as I pull out my personal phone.

"Give my love to them all" Morgan says with a wide grin.

"I will" I cannot help roll my eyes as I step outside the room making my way outside.

* * *

**Location: Home of John and Margret Monroe.**

"How can anyone keep their house so clean with two children living with them?" I can't help muse, even though Amy is a teenager the room still looks as though a whirlwind has been through it, she seems to be able to make more of a mess than Henry, if it isn't one child you are picking up after it is the other.

"It doesn't seem livid in" Hotch says. There is not as much as a speck of dust on the table the carpet looks as though it is washed every week each line of curtain matches.

"OCD" I murmur.

"What was that JJ?" Morgan asks as he stands next to me.

"Emily, when we first started living together I remember her and Amy having a massive row. If you hadn't of noticed Emily has slight ocd everything has to have its place, which when you have a child that is a typical messy kid it can drive you insane" he frowns at me.

"I take it she got over that when you moved in" I couldn't help but slap his arm.

"Are you trying to imply that I am messy?"

"Organized chaos?" I hear Rossi say.

"I know where everything is in my office"

"Yes but the rest of us might not be able to find our way out" Reid jokes.

"Hey now I am not that bad"

Morgan wraps his arm around me "Not now you're not" I shake my head slightly.

Hotch clears his throat pulling us all back to the task and the teasing leaving us all slightly, though it is nice that even here we can amuse ourselves to keep our spirits up slightly.

"Did they find the same medicine bottles here?" Reid asks as he starts to move around the rooms more, before we all head up the stairs.

"Yes, Mr. Monroe was found in the dining room" Hotch says softly.

Again the whole crime scene is spotless, not a trace of anything other than the drugs which the techs had already taken.

"I will have Garcia pull their financials," Rossi says as he places his phone to his ear.

* * *

**Location: Police Station.**

Garcia had emailed the financial statements and again a payment of $2000.00 had been made, but again this family was having financial problems as well. "Garcia can you find out what these payments are for?" I asked as I circled the amount, which had been paid to the Monroe family, as Reid pinpointed the location of the house upon the map.

Morgan placed the phone on speaker as Garcia's worried voice came over to us all "JJ?" I frowned slightly as I looked puzzled at the team.

"Yes?" there was a long paused.

"Mom" I almost groaned when I heard the distinct voice of Amy come over the speaker.

"Why are you not in school?" I nearly snapped taking hold of the phone so no one else heard the conversation.

"Mom, some guy came to the house this morning"

I frowned slightly "What do you mean some guy?" I asked as the team turned to face me looking rather concerned.

"He said he was looking for Ma."

I tense slightly as I swallow "What?" I needed her to repeat it again.

"He said he was a friend" I sigh slightly.

"And what did you say?" I could not help the internal shiver that coursed through my body.

"That I didn't know where she was, Mom he gave me the creeps. I" I nod understanding what was coming next. "Can I stay here Mom please?"

I close my eyes slightly "Did you get a name?" I asked carefully knowing everyone's eyes were on me, all of them trying to work out what was going on.

"He said he was called Thomas Jones," Amy says and I can still hear the worry in my child's voice, which unsettles me more.

"Stay with Garcia okay, I will deal with it when I get home okay sweetheart" I say softly I cannot place the name and I am not sure if I should be worried or not. "Put Garcia on please" I ask kindly as I tell her I love her and I will be home as soon as I can "Garcia," I start only to be cut off.

Already looking"

I snigger slightly "Thank you, can you keep a close eye on her please" I ask before cutting the phone off.

"Everything okay JJ?" I nod though I can see the concern on their faces.

"Just someone looking for Emily" I shrug slightly as I turn my attention back to the case.

"Medical trails!" Reid almost shouts as we all look at him.

"That could take forever to" part of me knows he is right because I had the same thought a few hours ago.

"Get Garcia to run a search" Hotch says.

"We do like to keep her busy" I muse slightly.

"We need to pull all the medical records," Reid says as he starts going through the files that we had, we all take a few as we start to read all the medical details we had for each of them.

"Reid we will look through them in the morning, Garcia is going to narrow it down as much as she can, once she has got Amy home, we start fresh in the morning" Hotch said not giving either of us a chance to argue the point.

* * *

**Location: Times Trials.**

"This looks like something out of a horror movie" Morgan mutters as we enter the dark building that seems to be infested "Hey kid, can you tell me" the young kid steps away a look of fear as he eyes up Morgan.

"Calm down, we just want to know where the doctor is" he nods at us both, as his shaky arm points down the dimly lit hallway.

"Every get the feeling it could be a trail to get kids off drugs" I muse as I take in each face I see.

The pale gaunt faces of kids that seemed no older than 19 but yet at the same time looked around 30. Morgan nodded we all knew the effects of drugs and drink, they aged you, the more you took, I remember once talking to a guy whom I thought was around 25 to find out in the interview room he was just 16. The harsher the drugs the more it takes its toll on your body.

I began to wonder after we had spoken to the older doctor, the trail was successful to some extent and they were just waiting on a grant to expand in a hope to help the kids get off the drugs before they were too far-gone. Also by the looks of his office mine was clean.

* * *

**Location: Clinical Research Organisation (CRO)**

The rest of the team had come up blank we had two more to check they were further away from the homes of the victims but they were still worth a shot. "Well that's an" I could not help but laugh, the building was huge.

Morgan stopped the car in the parking space as we both took in the sheer size of the building, I wondered if it was just one building or if other parts were sublets, the doors seemed to shine in the light of the sun, it seemed too high tech for the run of the mill trail centre, I couldn't help my eyes going slightly wide as we looked in the foyer.

"Wow, they seem to be doing extremely well" Morgan said as we both seemed to stare at the fountain in the middle of the room, it smelt clean it was as though no one had ever gone near it or as much sat on the stones which surrounded it.

"Damn" I whispered.

"It might be a new building?" Morgan half asked,

"I am sure Garcia said it had been here for years" I said softly.

"JJ it doesn't look like it has been" I knew he was looking for a word to describe it. The tile floor even seemed new, no scuff marks not even the warn look that older building get after much use.

It was as though we were trespassing "You know this reminds me of the embassy" I say in a hushed voice "Livid in but not livid in" Morgan nods as we locate the reception.

I had asked Garcia to run a more detailed search on the building and its owner, since the place Hotch had been to was much like the rest, all trails going well, somewhere just waiting for the grants, others had started other trails in all everyone we had been too had been doing well.

However, sometimes looks can be very deceiving. The building looked as though it should be in a museum or the owners were extremely wealthy but as Garcia returned my call over half an hour later, I had to stop my jaw from hitting the ground. Each trail they had done, had failed, they had more law suits filed against them, than the bricks that seemed to hold it together.

A few of the trails had failed the law suits they had against them did not seem to hold any weight that could cause them to lose their research centre let alone leave them broke. Everyone whom had taken part in each trail signing a wavier in case anything went wrong or they had a reaction. Though the company would help towards the cost of medical care if anything did go wrong as long as the drug caused it.

They had let a few of the medical staff go for different reasons; he gave us the list of names for us to be able to narrow down.

We had all agreed two days ago that we would help get the arrest and leave as soon as we could. Add in the extra stress that someone turned up at our home and I was worried about my family, why would anyone be looking for Emily.

I don't think any of us really wanted to have to spend another night which meant if we didn't find anything today we could leave in the morning which was good, and no matter how we looked at it we knew we would be home Friday at some point. Garcia had the names to run through the database.

* * *

**Location: Salem Police Station.**

Garcia had dragged us all back into the police station at 5.30am the next day, the searches had come back and one stood out more than the rest. We were taking the local Leos with us, to bring him in for questioning. Gordon Kerr, 35 had his license revoked three months prior after neglecting one of the volunteers, he had lost everything and the names of the people whom he had in his care three of them were the victims.

* * *

**Location: BAU Jet.**

Normally I would want to understand why someone took to killing people but this time, all I wanted was to go home and comfort my children, Amy was unsettled and Henry had withdrawn more than he already had which worried me. I knew he missed his Ma, but part of me felt there was something more that he could not voice. I was planning on spending as much time as I could do with him once I had gotten home.

We all kept our thoughts to ourselves on the flight home I closed my eyes wishing for the strong arms of my wife to wrap around my body, if I had to be honest I hadn't slept much since she had left and when I had managed to sleep I would be ripped out of it just as fast by nightmares. However, if it was not me it was Amy or Henry who was screaming.

Hotch told us all to go straight home and get some rest, I couldn't help smile as I left the BAU for my car the paperwork could wait and I would be home just after dinner so both of them would still me awake.

* * *

**Location: Car park, BAU**

I heard a loud crack ripped through the air the pain shooting through my head like a drill had been pushed against me. Stillness and the darkness took me.


	8. Chapter 8

**Realization**

**Location: Prentiss Household.**

"Casey I thought you said Mom would be back early?" Amy asked as she helped Henry into his nightwear.

"They must have been delayed. Hopefully she will be home tonight if not then some point tomorrow," Casey said with a soft smile. Amy shrugged as Henry wrapped his arms around her.

"I've got you little man" Amy smiled as she picked him up.

"He hasn't said much today" Casey said as Amy nodded.

"He is missing her," Amy said softly.

Henry buried his head in Amy's neck "Story" Henry whispered as Amy ran her fingers through his hair.

* * *

**Time: 5.20am.**

Amy stirred slightly before making her way to check on Henry, she smiled seeing him still fast asleep curled up with the teddy that Emily had brought for him just before she had to go away.

"Ma, will be back soon buddy." Amy whispered softly into the air. She gave a soft but sad smile before making her way towards her Mom's bedroom in a hope she had come home last night. The tell tail signs showed that no one had slept there, no go-bag, no clothes thrown on the floor.

The house seemed empty like it had done for the past month since Emily had gone, even though each of them tried to carry on, Emily had left a big gaping hole. She cast a glance at the clock 5.30am she sighed slightly. "Guess you will be home later mom" Amy said into the empty room.

She knew Henry would wake soon as she began to get their breakfast ready, Amy was normally the first person up in the house, which she loved as it was the only time her and JJ got time alone before anyone else woke. Emily had always slept until an hour before she was due into work and later when she had a day off. However, JJ was better than an alarm clock she would come down normally fifteen minutes after Amy.

She flicked through the channels and the weather reports to see if the team could have been delayed for some reason, but each one she tried showed the weather to be fine and no flights delayed.

* * *

**Time: 7.30am.**

The hurried feet could be heard running down the hall before coming to a stop, "Henry be careful" Amy called after him as she made her way upstairs to make sure he was not getting into any mischief.

"Mommy?" Henry called as he made a beeline for Amy.

"She's not back yet buddy, shall we get you some breakfast" Henry nodded before he bolted down the stairs. "How do you have so much energy this early?" Amy mused as she made her way downstairs and into the kitchen.

"Pancakes" Henry called as Amy walked through the door.

"I think you already have way to much sugar inside you buddy" Amy teased just as Henry began to pout; his eyes looked at her sadly causing Amy to shake her head

"No wonder Ma can never shout at you." Amy sat next to Henry making sure he did not place too much maple syrup on his pancakes "Guess I best ring Casey" Amy said as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"Want Mama!" Henry protested as Amy moved.

"Henry Ma is at work, Mom will be home soon" the plate flew off the table and Amy didn't have the heart to tell him off, it had been like this most morning she knew it was the only way he could express how he was feeling.

"Morning" Amy said softly as Casey answered her phone.

"No JJ yet?" she asked through a yawn.

"No, is there any chance you would be able to give me a hand?"

Casey couldn't help but laugh, "Of course, will you be okay for an hour" she asked to which Amy had agreed "See you soon."

"Right buddy do you want to watch a cartoon?" Amy asked though she already knew what his answer was going to be.

"Lion King" he shouted as he ran towards the den.

"Yep going to hit the thousand mark soon" Amy half groaned as she followed him into the den.

* * *

**Location: Unknown.**

**Day: Early hours Saturday.**

I couldn't help but groan, my head felt like it had been hit with a shovel, the dull ache seemed to travel across my head, I opened my eyes the bright light seemed to attack my sight as I quickly closed them again, just as the wave of nauseate hit me. I tried again though this time I did it more slowly. Everything seemed blurred as though I had been drugged up on pain meds given a concussion.

I tried to move my arms only to find them restrained against something, I tried my legs but it was no use, the cold shiver coursed through my body. **'Just where the hell am I.'** I try to retrace my steps to what I last remembered, and the only thing I could fully remember was being on the jet. Had we been in an accident?

The noise seemed to rip through me as my head pounded against the intrusion. Everything seemed to be amplified, the turning of the handle, the slamming of the door reminded me of Amy when she would storm through the house. The light seemed to dim as a figure stood casting a shadow into the room.

"Where am I?" my voice seems firmer than I feel right now, as I fight not to vomit, as the stale smell of ale hits my taste buds.

I was plummeted into darkness again as the slamming of what I could only guess was the door, I was alone again with no answers or a voice to even tell me where I was or whom had me.

* * *

**Location: Prentiss Household**

**Time: 13.00**

Amy had been trying JJ's phone for the past hour, only to be diverted to voicemail each time; she tried her work phone only to get the same response. She cast a worried glance to Casey "Mom isn't answering either phones," she said sadly.

"Amy don't worry she will be home soon, hopefully she hasn't picked up the habit of your Ma and left it on silent" Amy could not help but laugh slightly, though she could not help the worry that was building inside her.

The more time dragged on the more unsettled Amy began to become "Casey" she said softly "Do you think it will be okay to ring Aunt Pen?"

Casey sighed slightly "Okay but if she is working she may not be able to talk long okay"

Amy nodded slightly "okay."

Amy walked up into her bedroom pulling out her cell phone and dialing a very familiar number. Garcia groaned slightly, her day off, and just sleeping had been intruded by the infernal ringing of her phone.

"Hey" the groggy voice came through the earpiece.

"Aunt Pen, sorry did I wake you?" Amy said though even Garcia could hear the slight worry in her voice.

"It's okay sweetie, everything okay?" Garcia asked through a yawn.

"Do you know what time Mom is due back?" Amy asked causing Garcia to frown, she had known the team was heading back but she had left early and lost track of time while playing her RPG.

"Let me make a phone call Amy and I will ring you back," Garcia said softly before looking at the time.

"Thanks"

* * *

**Location: Unknown**

**Time: Early Saturday afternoon.**

He caressed her cheek almost lovingly before he slapped her cheek lightly, encouraging her to regain her senses. "Come on darling," the man said softly. "I need you awake for this."

He gently moved her onto the makeshift bed placing her down gently before her began to tie her down against the bed.

Her arms and legs were apart, her wrists tied above her head straight, her legs straight and apart, it felt hard but JJ dare not open her eyes. Her mind racing her thoughts in over drive as he placed the gag against her lips.

"I want to talk to you before dad arrives" he said.

The voice caused her eyes to snap open the cold shiver attack every sense of her body as she looked at him, though the voice sounded like his it wasn't, all she was able to do was nod her head slightly as she tested the binds which held her.

* * *

**Location: Garcia's**

"Where are you?" Garcia asked just as Morgan answered his phone.

"At home, what's wrong?"

She frowned slightly. "If your home where is JJ?"

Morgan stared into the phone "Hopefully at home with her kids" Morgan mused "I think she wanted some alone time with them. I take it she isn't picking up?" Morgan said knowing how close they both were.

He heard the phone drop before he called her name "Garcia?" his voice laced in concern as he started to throw his shirt on.

"She didn't go home Derek"

Morgan paused slightly "What do you mean she didn't go home?" he asked.

"Amy rang asking where you all were"

"Garcia, I will meet you at yours," Morgan said as he headed out the house.

He arrived at Garcia's twenty minutes later she opened the door he could see the worried look on her face as he entered "She might just have taken sometime for herself babygirl" Morgan said with a soft smile.

"And if that was the case she would still answer her phone if her daughter rang Morgan" her saw the wave of fear in Garcia's eyes as he wrapped his arm around her.

"First off stop worrying, secondly try and see if she has paid to stay somewhere for the night" Morgan said as he placed a kiss on her forehead.

"JJ wouldn't leave them without saying where she was going" Garcia said as she looked into deep chocolate eyes.

"And we all know JJ is feeling Emily not being here a lot harder than she is letting on, so she may just have gone somewhere to pull herself together" Morgan said as he sat down on the couch.

** Location: Unknown **

** Time: Early Saturday afternoon. **

He caressed her cheek almost lovingly before he slapped her cheek lightly, encouraging her to regain her senses. "Come on darling," the man said softly. "I need you awake for this." 

He gently moved her onto the makeshift bed placing her down gently before her began to tie her down against the bed.

Her arms and legs were apart, her wrists tied above her head straight, her legs straight and apart, it felt hard but JJ dare not open her eyes. Her mind racing her thoughts in over drive as he placed the gag against her lips.

"I want to talk to you before dad arrives" he said.

The voice caused her eyes to snap open the cold shiver attack every sense of her body as she looked at him, though the voice sounded like his it wasn't, all she was able to do was nod her head slightly as she tested the binds which held her.


	9. Chapter 9

**Meet Thomas Jones**

**Location: Unknown**

**Time: Unknown**

I heard the door open again, I couldn't help the fear which laced inside me as I tried to think back to the many cases which we had and for the life of me I couldn't remember anyone with the last names Jones. Well aside from a case which involved an old club with Jones.

I could only look at him as he sat down beside me; the gag still firmly in my mouth, which my jaw had begun hurting, from what I could only think, was hours.

His eyes seemed dead, as though no light had ever shone through, to appoint they looked cold. I had only ever seen eyes that vacant and dead a few times and not all of them were killers in fact I had seen that look in Emily's eyes before. Cold, untrusting and vacant. I could not help but sigh internally.

"Don't look so worried JJ"

I swallowed as best I could when he spoke. He tells me not to look worried but yet I am bound to a hard bed with a gag in my mouth, how should I look, happy? The way he looks at me and the smile, which does not even come close to his eyes, brings up the nauseous feeling inside me.

"I won't hurt you" he says, which I find very hard to believe, I close my eyes as I try and swallow.

"Tell me JJ, why does your daughter not look like you? Or does she take after her father?" I frown slightly, this man had been near my child he had seen her, "Tell me, why didn’t she know where you were?"

The realization hits me as I just stare at him. This was the man whom had turned up at my home. **'Oh god he knows where we live'** I could not help but worry they are my children, and now I have no clue if my family is in danger, and Emily is god knows where.

"She is cute"

I fight against the bindings, I know he can see the fear which is laced inside me, but I can't help it those are my babies, my family, they should feel safe, I wonder if they notice I am not there yet, or if they think I am still on the case. A tear slips from my eyes as I think about them.

"I won't hurt her," he says as though he knows exactly what I am thinking. Which he more than likely does. "She is a little young for me" he seemed to joke but yet I feared for my daughter. I closed my eyes slightly before looking back at him.

I cringed as his fingers ran down my face; it was almost lovingly his touch was softer than I thought it would be. I fought against the bile that was trapped deep in my throat burning against me.

"Now I know why my Daddy wanted you and why he still wants you" his eyes seemed to dance as he spoke. I wondered who his father was, but all thoughts escaped my.

His hand moved down my body, I tried to struggle against the unwanted touch but it was pointless I shook my head violently as he began to unbutton my blouse.

"Shh, I won't hurt you"

I closed my eyes as I felt his fingers run against my bra over my breasts. The tears ran down the side of my face as he gripped them slightly. My body shivered as his fingers ran down my torso, it was almost loving how he was touching me in a sick and twisted way.

"You are still as perfect as your pictures"

I looked at him, as he seemed to smile brightly at me. I turned my head away from him as much as I could, my eyes going slightly wide as I took in the bulge in his pants. The fear took hold of my body as I closed my eyes as tightly as I could. I felt his movements stop his lips touched my forehead.

Again, the darkness took hold of me, the pain ripped through my body until it could not take it anymore.

* * *

**Location: BAU**

**Day & Time: Sunday 02.00.**

"Have you double check" Morgan asked as Garcia threw him a look.

"Yes I have double checked and even if I checked again I would still find nothing, nada, zilch. Her credit card has not been used since she had to by something in Salem." Garcia said as a tired looking Reid entered the conference room.

"If we have another case in another city I am quitting" Reid mutter as he filled his coffee mug before collapsing into the chair.

"Late night pretty boy?" Morgan half teased.

"Long week" Reid said with a slight glare. "What's going on?" Reid asked, as Hotch and Rossi were nowhere to be seen.

"We will explain when Hotch and Rossi get here," Morgan said softly.

Reid had not questioned once where JJ was. He had pulled his car into the lot parking across from JJ's Humvee.

* * *

**Location: Unknown**

**Day & Time: Sunday, 01.54.**

I heard the distinct sound of the footfall against the hard flooring, the lock turning, and the door creaked as it opened, the soft dim light shining through the room.

The coldness attacked my body; my head pounding more than before, although the dizziness seemed to rock against my eyes, I tried to focus on the figure that seemed to be walking in a zigzag pattern towards me. I tried to follow his eyes, which seemed to rake over my body; the cool air seemed to attack everywhere.

I remembered he had opened my blouse earlier and assumed he had not buttoned it, his fingers trailed against my skin up towards my face; he stroked my fingers along the leather of the gag. He had not said a word since he had come in and it unsettled me more than him touching me. He reached behind my head as for the first time he removed the gag, my jaw ached more as I tried to move it.

"I brought you a drink and something to eat" he voice seemed softer than before. Again he took the seat next to the bed, his eyes didn't seem to look at my face instead they raked up and down my body, the sheer look he had on his face made me heave.

"What do you want" my voice was so raspy and the sheer action of speaking hurt my throat as though someone had rubbed sandpaper against it.

"Here drink this" I frowned slightly as he placed a straw against my lips and if I was honest, I was grateful of the cool liquid that laced my throat.

I did not mean to beg but I could not help it "Just let me go, no one will ever know" the tear slipped from my eyes.

He seemed to snarl at me "I can't do that" his voice seemed full of malice as he spoke.

His hand reached behind my head lifting it slightly as he pressed the spoon against my lips "Eat this, you need to keep your strength" again his voice changed it was almost caring. Again, I was grateful of the food, even though it churned my stomach.

I closed my eyes trying to keep the food down, though the fear wanted me to expel the food from inside me. He seemed to take his time as though he was looking after an infant, the binding where digging in tightly against my skin as I moved slightly. He placed his lips again on my forehead before pressing the gag against my lips.

Though I clamped my lips together not wanting to allow it back in my mouth, my jaw still ached, his fingers pinched my nose causing me to opened my mouth to breath, it was all he needed to get the gag , this time he tied it more tightly.

I looked at him my eyes slightly pleading. **'Oh god'** I couldn't help think to myself as his fingers trail against my skin, it was with his touch that I realized he had stripped all my clothes. I couldn't help the whimper that came from me as he ran his fingers along the inside of my leg. I tried to fight against him, which only caused my ankles and wrists to hurt more.

My eyes grew wider as I saw the protruding bulge which rested against his pants I swallowed the best I could as he rubbed it against my side, the tears fell from my eyes, the fear ran through my body as he bent to whisper in my ear.

"He's going to be so proud when he comes home" he gave me an evil smile as he whispered a name that made me shiver in fear and heartache. "Simon can't wait to see you."

I was frozen in fear, so much that I had not even heard the door close. **'Emily where are you'** I could not help the tears that ran from my eyes freely even though I knew deep down Emily would find out too late.

* * *

**Location: Prentiss Household.**

**Time: 02.30.**

Amy had not spoken to Garcia since early in the evening; Garcia informed her she was trying to find out what was going on, she had taken Henry to bed trying to comfort him as much as she could. He was confused and all he wanted was his Mommy and Mama. It had taken her three long hours to finally get him to settle though in truth she knew he had cried himself to exhaustion. Amy was grateful as he settles though she had stayed at his side holding him, hoping to give him some comfort.

She had finally moved as she knew he wouldn't wake for a few more hours, looking at the time she knew it would be too late to ring her, she just hoped her Mom would walk through the door and be there in the morning.

* * *

**Location: BAU**

**Time: 02.39**

“There better be a good reason for dragging us all in" Rossi said as he glared at Morgan.

"Is Hotch with you?" Garcia asked her voice held more worry as Rossi's eyes met hers.

"He is on his way, Beth has just turned up to look after Jack," he poured himself a coffee, just as Hotch walked through the door.

"You want to explain to me why you dragged me here?" Hotch said his voice slightly angry.

"Where's JJ?" Reid asked as he looked to the door.

Garcia gave a sad look as her eyes met with Hotch's "We don't know." Her voice broke slightly as Morgan wrapped his arm around her.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Rossi asked his voice concerned.

"Amy rang asking where she was and why she wasn't picking up" Morgan said as he kept Garcia in his arms.

Reid frowned slightly "Her car is here."

"Have you tried her phone?" Hotch asked as Rossi began to pace slightly.

"Voice mail, no movement on her cards either" Garcia said as she looked down at the paper in front of her.

Hotch swallowed slightly, "Ring the hospitals"

Morgan shook his head. "We have covered all that before we rang"

Hotch looked at Rossi before he moved to the door, "Where are you going?" Garcia asked.

"To check her office, the gym and the rest of you go and check her car," Hotch said as Rossi walked out.

The team gathered in the parking lot, Hotch frowned as he looked at her car. The doors where unlocked as Morgan moved closer to look "Morgan, get the techs down here" Rossi said as he spotted her badge and gun.

"Get Garcia to go through all the CCTV on this floor and the exits." Hotch said.

Morgan looked at him "If anything has happened to her Emily will kill us" Rossi nodded

"Let's not jump to anything just yet" Hotch said though he knew himself it did not look good.

"What about Amy and Henry?" Reid ask as sad eyes looked at Rossi

"Until we know something we don't need to worry them, I will ring Casey and" he paused as the realization hit them all.

"She is going to kill us all" Reid whispered as Morgan raised his eyebrow.

Morgan wrapped his arm around him "Come on kid let's go and see if we can" Reid nodded not giving Morgan a chance to finish.

* * *

**Location: Unknown**

**Day & Time: Sunday 07.13**

My body shivered uncontrollably as the coldness attacked my skin, the heavy footfall made me tense slightly. I am cold and exposed and unable to protect myself from him. My jaw felt sorer than it had earlier, the tears had stained my face. My body froze slightly as the door opened.

"Time to get you ready, Daddy will be home in the morning" I couldn't help but stare, we were told he had six months to make his case, how had they let him out without informing any of us.

My body ached as he moved my leg; his tight grasp did not allow me any movement as he fastened it against my other leg, the cold metal of the short chain rubbed against my bare skin as he dragged it up my body. I wondered at what point he had placed the strap around my torso, the coldness had numbed my body slightly as the lock snapped shut.

My shoulder cracked loudly as he yanked it so fast, I had not even registered until the sound of it locking against my other wrist hit my ears. I saw the worry in his eyes as my shoulder cracked, though it had only cracked because of the length of time it had been held in on position. My arms where pulled down in front of me, the lock snapped shut again as he attached my bindings to the strap that was wrapped around my torso. My bare feet hit the cold surface causing my body to shiver more as he made me walk on unsteady legs, although my movements were slowed due to the chains.


	10. Chapter 10

**Location: Unknown**

**Day & Time: Sunday, 11.16**

I have never felt so embarrassed in my life; the only good thing is, that the water was warm which helped to warm my body back up slightly. He hands roamed everywhere, every part of my body. I feel ashamed, tainted and to a point dirty. The binding that were against my wrists and ankles have now been changed to metal ones, they dig into my skin slightly, they are not too tight but yet they are too tight for me to side my hand through.

The only thing I can be grateful for now is the fact that my arms and legs are somewhat free, the short chain allows me some movement, just enough so my bones don't get too stiff, the bolt which the chain is tightly fastened to seems to held in place with concrete.

I cannot help the fear, which is still laced inside me; my hearts break as I think of our children. Would Amy have gotten hold of any of the team by now? Will they even notice that I have not come home yet? It is strange it feels like only yesterday I was heading home, but at the same time, it feels like I have been in this cold dull room for weeks.

* * *

**Location: BAU**

**Day & Time: Monday, 07.10**

"Damn it," Garcia cursed as she went through the surveillance footage, she had followed every move JJ had made once they had gotten back, she had left later than everyone else had which didn't surprise her.

Emily sometimes had problems getting her to leave early. Garcia watched as she rode the elevator down to the foyer, before taking the stairs down to the parking lot. Garcia could not help but chuckle as she watched JJ fumble inside her bag looking for her keys; the cheeky grin seemed to appear on her face as she pulled out the keys.

"Oh god no" Garcia mumbled as she watched JJ collapse to the ground. Garcia had been going through the footage for the past five hours each times she saw JJ collapse to the ground tears would fill behind her eyes as she looked upon her friend.

She had looked at every angle that she could, but the figure never came in sight of the camera. "Who has you baby" Garcia whispered as Morgan's hands rested on her shoulder. Garcia leaned into his touch as her heart broke, they had nothing.

"I…" Garcia faltered as Morgan pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head.

"Shh, baby girl" he said trying to offer some comfort as she shook her head,

Garcia was kicking herself, she felt helpless. "I should be"

Morgan turned her chair so she was facing him and not the computer screen. "Listen to me," he said with a soft but sad smile "We will find another way"

Garcia looked at him as the tears ran down her face. "I have to keep looking," she whispered. Garcia had refused each time he had been down, every time he tried to offer comfort, which they both needed right now, but each time it was rebuffed.

* * *

**Location: Unknown**

**Day & Time: Monday, 02.30**

The tears rolled down my cheeks easily the coldness of the room attacked every fibre of my body; I had managed to curl slightly into myself, though the chains did not allow me enough freedom. I heard the thick and heavy footfalls coming towards the door, I could not help closing my eyes slightly.

I feared what laid in store for me, the loud sound of the locks turning sent a cold shiver through my body, and it was as though I could hear every noise, each sound seemed to be in slow motion, the creaking of the door opening pulled my thoughts as the dim light from the hallway filtered into the room.

He made his way over to the bed, "I brought you a drink and something to eat" his voice was low and deep this time, all I could do was nod, and hope the food was warm to help warm the inside of my body up.

"Daddy will be home in the morning," he seemed to smile sadly at me, his eyes raked over my naked form.

The nauseous feeling crept inside me as I felt his hand rest upon my breast; I could not help but close my eyes. I could not watch him, I was at his mercy and he knew it.

I was unable to do anything, unable to protect myself in anyway, I felt his fingers pinch my nipple, as I turned my head away. I could not help the slight whimper that left my lips or the sobs that nearly ripped from my throat as silent tears fell.

I heard the distinct sound of a zip being undone I couldn't help but turn my head and opening my eyes, seeing the his hard penis in his hand, his hand took hold of mine, I closed my hand making a fist as he brought it towards him. Forcing my fingers open, he wrapped my hand around it, keeping his finger wrapped around mine as he stroked himself hard and fast.

The white substance smeared around my torso as he grunted in pleasure as he relieved himself, the food expel from my mouth as it trickled down my side, I heard him chuckle as it went soft in my hand.

"Good girl, daddy asked me to get you ready for his arrival" he smirks.

He released his fingers as my hand dropped to my side, he moved away from me, as my body shook uncontrollably, I heard the door open again. The wheels of a cart being brought in, the luke warm cloth wiped along my skin, cleaning every area of my body, with skilled movements he moved the chains, which bound me so I was able to stand on shaky legs.

Forcing me to walk along with him, the chains that held my ankles gave shortened movements as he took me into another room, my eyes went wide as the light illuminated the room. The door slammed shut behind me as he guided me over to the chair.

It looked like one of those chairs they used for electrocutions I swallowed hard as he forced me to sit; the cold wood sent shivers through my body, as the chains locked in place giving no movement at all as my ankles were chained roughly against the legs of the chair.

I couldn't help but look at him in fear as he wheeled the machine over, as I looked at the tools which laid upon the top, fear took hold of me, the last time I had seen equipment like this was when I had, had my ears pierced.

His fingers hovered over the clamps, an evil smile spread over his lips as he turned to look at me, is fingers pinched my nipple causing it to become taut. The clamp type instrument rested in place of his finger. The sharp click could be heard followed by the pain that coursed through my body, the tear ran down my cheek as a type of bar was pushed through my nipple locking in place; he did the same motion with my other nipple.

The dull ache ran through my body as I looked down at my now reddened and sore breasts, my eyes widened as I took in the hideous chain, which linked the two piercings together. My reddened eyes fell upon him as he admired his work.

"Nearly perfect" he smirked slightly.

I looked at him in horror as I realized the legs of the chair were moving and spreading my legs wide, I gulped hard holding back the bile which was rising in my throat. I closed my eyes as the fear took over me, I waited for the pain to emanate my body but nothing came, I felt his finger press tightly against my clit as cold metal came in contact with my skin, the action caused me to moan slightly as it rubbed against me. I felt it become tighter the pressure building against my clit. The cold chain dragged along my torso, the soft clicking of a lock, which pulled against my already sore nipples.

"Good girl" he mocked.

As mixture of pain emanated inside me, the force upon my clit had caused me to become wet, but the amount of fear overcame, the shame and humiliation coursed through me as my bladder emptied onto the wood dripping down onto the concrete. I heard him laugh, as my cheeks flamed red.

I felt him loosen the bindings attaching them again giving my little to no movement this time as he forced me to stand. My legs closed causing pain and pleasure to course inside me, the tears welled in my eyes as he forced me forward towards a frame, which laced part of the wall.

"You need another wash" his voice was angry this time as he rose my arms above my head locking them into position, my ankles were locked spreading my legs. My body protested against the pain, which laced me.

He rubbed the cold damp cloth against my legs and core, coursing the clamp and chain to move, the pain that ripped across my breast was crossed out as the pleasure from the clamp moving my clit took over.

My body was betraying me, how could I feel pleasure from this? My folds became moist. I saw the happiness dance in his eyes.

"Daddy asked me to get this for you Jennifer" he smiled holding up the thick metal collar, which he happily placed against my neck locking it in place.

"Please stop" I could not help but whimper out as I felt the cold metal against my skin.

His laughter echoed through the room, I knew he could see the fear in my eyes; he shook his head at me. "You need to learn, not to speak" he glared at me as he moved. A round balled gag appeared dangling from his fingers as he walked towards me again.

I clenched my jaw refusing to open it. The evil glint in his eye looked deeply inside me as he pinched my nose; I tried to hold my breath anything but open my mouth. I failed as his pinch became harder causing my to gasp for much needed breath, that one action gave him all he needed to slip the gag against my lips.

"Good girl" he smirked again. I began to wonder if it was all he was going to say to me as he tightened it behind my neck causing me to bite down slightly.

* * *

**Location: Prentiss Household.**

**Day & Time: Monday, 07.32**

"I WANT MOMMY," Henry screamed as the bowl of cereal flew across the kitchen, Casey looked at him in shock as Amy came running in from the front room.

"Henry" Casey said firmly just as Amy reached the door.

The tears came fast as the sobs ripped from his little chest "Want Mommy" he stumbled out as his arms flinging around Amy's neck.

"I know buddy" Casey gave a half smile as Amy tried her best to settle Henry, the longer it had been the more Henry had withdrew it had been the first words Amy had heard from him since late Saturday night. Henry had refused to leave Amy's side and was lashing out every time Casey tried to help. His food had ended up on the floor for the most part.

It broke Casey's heart, he had withdrawn not long after Emily had gone and with JJ not coming back this weekend Henry had gone into himself more and Casey worried deeply. Amy turned to look at Casey giving an apologetic smile.

"Let's get you dressed okay," Amy, said as she lifted Henry onto her hip, his face buried in her neck, not one of them had the heart to tell him off for his behaviour.

"Casey, I am going to go and see Auntie Pen this morning and find out what is going on" Henry's grip got tighter around her neck. "Will you be okay with"

Amy was cut off by the distinct voice of Henry "Don't leave" Amy's heart broke more, she was worried about her Mom and she was getting more and more concern about Henry as the time went on.

* * *

**Location: BAU.**

**Day & Time: Monday 09.01**

Amy made her way into the foyer with Henry curled up against her, "Amy," the security guard smiled at her.

"Is Garcia in?" he nodded as he handed them both a visitor’s badge.

"Would you like me to ring her to come and meet you both?" he asked kindly.

Amy shook her head slightly "I want it to be a surprise" Amy smile as she held on tighter to Henry.

Her fingers ran through his hair as she murmured soft words to him, he hadn't spoken since he had said **'don't leave'** it was why he was now curled in tightly against her side his face still hidden in her neck, she could still feel the tears dripping onto her skin as the elevator doors opened.

Amy made her way into the bullpen first before making her way down familiar corridors to where Garcia was, as she walked through the doubled glass doors she pulled up short as her eyes fell straight onto Morgan.


	11. Chapter 11

**Emily**

**Location: Unknown**

**Day & Time: Monday, 09.03**

They had met in south Boston where Lauren had made contact with some of her old acquaintances; they had welcomed her with opened arms. They knew not to cross her, she was ruthless and the men if they were honest feared her. The reputation she had once had in the underworld still lived.

Lauren Reynolds was a woman not to be messed with, she had made her way up in the arms world and the local gangs, some which knew her from old, knew she would rather kill you than look at you. Therefore, when she offered her services in the trafficking of guns and drugs they had snapped her up.

By the time she had travelled to Texas she had a small group which worked closely with her, they would run the guns and drugs, in sealed compartments in the cars and trucks. Each covered to throw the dogs off if they were to be searched.

They youngest member of her gang had travelled over the border and was due to be back late Saturday night, by Sunday evening Lauren had become worried as she hadn't heard of the young girl. Lauren had managed to find who had travelled behind her as she dragged him by his hair into the vacant warehouse.

The air was thick with blood as it attacked her senses, the pool inched towards her feet as she stared at the man across from her, he looked at her wide eyed, before swallowing deeply.

"See this is what happens when you piss me off" she snarled at him as the lifeless body continued to bleed on the floor.

"So I will asked you again, where is she?" her voice ripped through his ears as he shook his head.

"I don't know" the butt of her gun collided with his cheek.

"Wrong answer" she ground out as his lip split with the impact. Andrew looked at her in fear, he knew he was near enough dead in the eyes of Lauren; he had been warned by his former friends that she was not someone you crossed and to watch his back.

"I will check and find out if Sofia has been stopped or detained" he said wiping the blood from his mouth.

"You fix this; do not come back here unless you have her. Do I make myself clear?" Andrew nodded before bolting. "Clean this up" Lauren ordered as she turns walking slowly out of the building making her way towards her car.

She sat staring across he open land trying to clear the thoughts and images from her mind, the things she had done in the past few weeks made her skin crawl, she had left this life so long ago only to be thrown back into it.

However, she had too much to live for, and she knew deep down the only way she was going to be able to survive, that she would have to be more ruthless than she had been in the past.

Her fingers wrapped around the small gold cross, which lay upon her chest. "Forgive me Jennifer," she whispered.

* * *

**Location: BAU**

**Day & Time, Monday, 09.14**

Henry held on tighter as he felt Amy tensed beneath him, his grip never altering as she glared at Morgan "Where is my Mom," her voice held hurt and confusion as she looked in to dark brown eyes.

"Amy" he started.

"No, I asked where my Mom is" she glared at him as she saw Reid walk towards her.

"Where is she?" Amy asked again as Henry tried to hide more into her neck.

"We don't know" Reid said softly.

Amy spun around looking at him "What do you mean you don't know!" her voice raised slightly as Henry whimpered against her.

Amy couldn't hold back the fear that was lacing inside her as her eyes fell back onto Morgan, she watched as he swallowed hard, as he tried to find the words, "Amy, we don't know where your Mom is" Morgan said sadly.

Her eyes blazed at him she could not help the anger, which spilled, out of her mouth, it was one thing that her Ma was not here.

"Let me take him" Reid tried softly.

"No" she mutters her eyes never leaving Morgan.

Garcia made her way into the bullpen after dragging herself away from the video tapes; she gasped seeing a familiar brown hair girl and blonde hair boy standing in front of Morgan.

"What did you do to her?" her voice accused.

Morgan could not help the tears building up in his eyes "We are trying to find out what has happened" Morgan said softly.

Garcia made her way over "Amy, let me take Henry" she said softly only to be met with blazing brown eyes.

"You find my Mom" her eyes begged slightly, even though the anger and worried betrayed her.

Hotch and Rossi made their way onto the catwalk wincing when they saw Emily's and JJ's daughter stood in the middle of the bullpen.

"You promised to keep her safe," Amy, shouted looking back at Morgan.

Garcia moved towards Amy her hand gently resting on her shoulder "Come with me,"

Garcia gave her a sad but kind smile, anything to get the young girl away from Morgan. Amy nodded as she followed Garcia up the few steps before entering the conference room. Henry had not moved or spoken even when he had heard Garcia's voice it worried her slightly.

"Tell me what you know," Amy said firmly as she looked at Garcia.

"Amy, I" she faltered slightly as her eyes fell on Henry.

"Please Aunt Pen,"

Garcia nodded "I don't think Henry needs to hear this Amy," Garcia said as softly and as kindly as she could and even Amy could hear the tears in her voice.

"He stays with me," Amy said firmly as the rest of the team entered.

* * *

**Location: Unknown**

**Day & Time: Monday, 10.02**

My head lulled slightly resting more on the metal collar, which laced my neck, my arms emanated with pain, the blood long gone from my fingers from being held so tightly above my head. I heard the sound of shoes hitting the floor as I bite down against the gag in fear, his foot fall seemed heavier than before or a double echo, the door creaked open as I closed my eyes. The room was still dark with only enough light to make out the shadow of his figure.

"Daddy will be home in an hour" he said his voice full of life and happiness, I felt his breath against me, his fingers checking his work as he made sure the clamp was still attached to my clit.

I shuddered against the intrusion, the pain, which laced my breasts, had become a dull ache, my mind cutting it out as the chains moved slightly at his toyed with the clamp. I moaned slightly against my gag as the pressure and movement sent a wave of sick pleasure through my body.

"He can't wait to see you"

I looked at him, as his eyes seemed to dance with excitement, his lower body rubbed against my leg as I felt the hardness, which lay against me. He smirked at me as he laughed; I had not noticed that he held something in his hand until he brought it up towards my face, placing it over my eyes, causing another wave of fear to course my body.

The blindfold gave no light for my eyes, it had thrown me into complete darkness, the wetness that trailed down my legs again causing him to laugh as he rubbed against me before releasing himself over my legs. His fingers again roamed my body he laughed each time I moved, as I winced in pain, only to have the pain taken over with pleasure.

"We are going to have so much fun," he mocked as he began to clean me again. "Get some rest before Daddy comes to see you," the words echoed in my ears as the door slammed behind him.


	12. Chapter 12

**Daddy's Home.**

**Location: Unknown**

**Day & Time: Monday, 12.22**

The bus pulled up at the end of the road, he stepped out into the fresh cool air as it attacked his face, for too long he has been away from his family, his friends and his home. The excitement grows deep inside him, as he took the long walk up the gravelled path.

The place had not changed too much in the years he had been away, his once tidy home looked as though his son had done a poor job keeping on top of the rural building, and the glass seemed etched with dirt and grime, which had collected over the years.

The once deep red wood was worn and he could tell it had not had a touch up in years, had his son missed him so deeply that he allowed their home to fall into slight disrepair; he could not allow himself to get angry. He understood deep down that a child having his father ripped away from him, must have been hard for the youngster. He had visited twice a week never missing a visit with him.

The life had seemed to have died in his sons eyes, as though the excitement had left, he knew his son hadn't carried on with what he started, he had received a letter off him a few days before his release stating that he had a lovely surprise for him when he finally was allowed home.

He had been held up in Texas, once he had been dropped off at the bail hostel, where he had been released to, although he had fled hours later. Making his way to the train station and heading along the coastline stopping in Georgia. Before making his way to D.C., he knew it was only a matter of time before they knew he had gone and what direction he had headed.

Simon also knew that the police had never found the house, his late wife under a different name had left it to him; he had rented a property under his on the rough side of town, before being caught.

He had dreamed for so long to return. To see Jennifer again, to show her she was his. That they were going to be a family, she was going to like him, and he knew she would love him.

He had known he had taken the love of her life, and he knew it would take her a long time to get over it, he hoped she never tried for another relationship after that, or he would have to get rid of the competition if she had. However, he was not as healthy as he once was, the strength he had known failed him more each day. He knew he did not have long left and he was going to spend what time he did have left with his son.

Hoping that he would get to see the woman he had dreamt of for the past 13 years, he had been away for 12 years now, as he knocked upon his door waiting for his son to open it for him and welcome him home.

The heavy footfalls could be heard upon the wooden flooring that laced the hallway; Simon smiled as his eyes fell upon his son.

"Robert" his eyes danced as he look at his dad.

"Daddy" he let out in a whisper as Simon pulled him into a forceful hug. "So glad your home Daddy."

"I am glad to be home,"

Robert moved in allowing the front door to be closed, "I will make you something to eat," he smiled as he walked to the back of the property.

"Do you have any decent coffee?" Simon mused slightly, the swill they had in prison tasted much like cat piss and he had long for his taste buds to be rekindled with the aroma of good strong coffee again.

"I will put the maker on" Robert grinned as he set about making their lunch.

* * *

**Location: BAU**

**Day & Time: Monday, 16.06**

Henry had fallen asleep on Amy, she gently placed him on the couch in her Mom's office before making her way back into the conference room, and she glared at the team as she spoke.

"I want to see the video footage"

Garcia looked at her, not one of them wanted Amy to see it, they knew Emily would kill them for showing her. Nevertheless, like her mother Amy was strong and stubborn as she stared into sorrowful eyes.

"Amy, I don't really think it is a good idea," Morgan said softly.

"Not a good idea, are you kidding me!" she rose her voice at him "You are the ones who let my Mom go missing. This team is the reason my Ma has been sent undercover and you are telling me I cannot watch a goddamn video" she glared at him before turning looking straight at Hotch. "You are the one who got my Mom to lie to me, to Henry, do you know what it did to him, to us? Standing there at my Mother's funeral? No you don't, do you also know what it did to my Ma?"

"Amy, we explained all that to you" her eyes blazed at him.

"How the hell do you explain that to a three year old? How do you explain that his Mama is in a box, which he placed a rose on after I had told him she was not coming home! Did you lot not think about that before you did it"

Rossi looked sadly at her "Amy, you know it was for her protection, for all of yours protection"

She looked at him, for the world, she could not be angry with him. "I know that, my brother doesn't understand any of this, and now you have lost my Ma, you allowed her to be taken, you did that, not Ma, not me and sure as hell not Henry. So explain it to me again! This is the FBI for god's sake and you are unable, yet again to protect your own!"

Morgan looked at her slightly taken aback, they all knew her and Emily were alike but to see that such a young child already had her mother's temper seemed to shock him slightly. "You fix this; you bring her back to me, to Henry. You bring my family home," her resolve broke as tears fell from her eyes. "I can't lose my Mommy"

* * *

**Location: Unknown**

**Day & Time: Monday, 19.02**

I tried to swallow as I heard the distinct sound of two footfalls walking down the corridor; my body ached from standing so long, the bindings dug cruelly into my wrists and ankles. The heavy locks, which held the door, slammed, as they were unlocked. I wondered why he kept them locked knowing there was no possible way I would be able to escape.

A voice I knew that sent hurt and fear inside me filled the room, "Jennifer," he said in a slight gasp of breath.

I tried to swallow, I was grateful I could not see the man whom had once ripped the love of my life away from me 12 years ago.

"I am so proud of you son" his voice held a lightness to it, filled with happiness and excitement.

I felt his breathe against my naked skin, his fingers roamed my sore and tired body, and I tried to swallow but the gag made the action impossible.

"You're just as I remember" he mocked me slightly, the chains jiggled against my body as the groan settled in my throat, I was too sore too tired as his hands roamed my skin. I felt his lips touch my neck just under the collar my body shivered in protest causing him to laugh.

"I see you haven't lost your fire," he said as his finger rested against my sore jaw. I winced in pain as his fingers ran over my reddened breasts causing the chains to tug on my taut nipples, the burning ripped through my body.

"Perfect," he whispered into my ear as I felt the bile rise into my throat wishing to be expelled from my body. His fingers rested against my core as the wet surfaced as the clamp moved pulling my clit tighter.

"Has she been a good girl for you Robert?" I frowned against the blind fold. **'Who was Robert?'**

"Yes Daddy, she has been extremely good" the panic ran inside me, he had used an alias and if he had never been in trouble, I knew the team would struggle to find me.

"I see you haven't added one of the garments," he laughs slightly.

"I knew you would want to Daddy."

I feared what he was going to do, but at the same time I knew, the vibrations rubbed against my clit as the chains jiggled more, I felt my core become wet as the hard vibrator was roughly placed inside me. Another strapped wrapped around my waist holding it in place. Each vibration sending a wave of pleasure and pain through me. His fingers traced the outline of my body as his lips met mine, I was grateful for the gag at this point.

"I can understand why Amanda loved you" the tears welled in my eyes, seeping through the blindfold at the mention of her name.

* * *

**Location: Texas**

**Day & Time: Tuesday, 03.17**

It had been a long day but sleep was not coming anytime soon, I had to meet with someone it was another step on the ladder, a small step to work my way to the top. He entered the dank warehouse; the smell of blood still laced the air.

"What happened here?" he asked his voice firm, strong, and slightly angry.

"Someone pissed me off" I said as I held his eyes in mine.

"I take it you sent him to hospital," he said, I saw the glint in his eyes, before the widened as I spoke.

"No I sent him to the morgue," he stepped back slightly.

"Impressive" I watched as an evil smile played on his lips. "I like a woman with spunk" he mocked slightly.

Laruen rested her hand on the butt of her gun as she glared slightly, "Are you here to flirt, piss me off or do business?" I asked keeping my expression cold and unreadable.

I heard him take a sharp breathe before he spoke "Business" I nodded, one death was enough for one day.

"Tell me Laruen, how did a pretty woman as yourself become involved with this, I raised my eyebrow slightly at him.

"Fell in love with someone who was brilliant at his craft." I smile at him, though he seemed to see something in my eyes.

"What happened to him?" I smirked as I spoke the venom and hurt laced in his voice.

"He's dead," I watched him for a moment before I spoke again my patients wearing thin. "I thought you wanted to talk, not ask me about my past, all you need to know is that I have contacts which will make your life easier."

"How?" he asked as a smile took over me.

"Like I said, I have contacts that know not to piss me off and they do as I ask," I replied.

"And what if they betray you?"

I laughed, "If they do, they will dead before they can ask for forgiveness" his eyes widened as he notices I am not messing. Maybe the help of my gun, which is now pointing at his crotch, helped get my point across.

"I have a shipment coming in, I need safe passage over the border, and if you can do that we will talk more."

I nod at him "What time and what vehicle," I ask so I know the target I need to help safely into the country.

"All the details you need are on this" he hands me the piece of paper with everything I need to know.

"You need a holding place for it?" I ask.

"Depends what you have" the warehouse lights up, cages laced the walls the chains deep in the concrete, large containers "I think I may already like you." He smiles easily at me.

"Wise man" with that he leaves me.

The darkness covers the room as my thoughts retreat to my family, my prayers for this to be over so I can go home at the forefront of my mind, to see my children and hold my wife close to my body again.


	13. Chapter 13

**The threat.**

**Location: BAU**

**Month: March**

**Day & Time: Saturday, 09.17**

The team gathered around the table, as they looked at what they had. They had now only been able to work on finding JJ in-between cases. Every lead they came across was a dead end, they had nothing. No sightings, no ransom notes, the case had gone cold.

Amy made her way in alone she had managed for the first time in six weeks to get Henry to stay with Casey; he had not spoken a word to any of them, he had completely withdrawn into himself. She opened the door, closing it behind her as she looked at the team, her family, even though she hated them right now, and she also blamed them for everything. Dark rings laced her once bright eyes; they had noticed she had lost weight, the once bright bubbly girl they knew, was gone.

"You need to bring my Mother home," Amy said as she looked at Hotch. She watched as he looked down before speaking.

"It isn't that simple Amy." His voice held sadness to it as he spoke.

"If we tried to contact her it could place her in danger," Rossi said as he walked over to Amy.

"We don't need to contact her, she will contact us," Amy said as she stared at Hotch.

He frowned slightly "How?" Reid asked softly.

"Press release, Mom always said it was a way of reaching out to someone."

Garcia squealed slightly. "It would have to be national, we have no clue where your Ma is Amy," Rossi said, as he wrapped his arm around her guiding her to take a seat.

* * *

**Location: Unknown**

**Day & Time: Saturday, 10.27**

My skin had become sore to touch or move the cruel binds that held me had cut into my skin. The chain had been lengthened, although it only allowed me to move enough movement so I did not become too stiff. The gag had been removed the day prior but the collar remind, my chest was healing the chains still linked together holding my nipples tightly and the clamp seemed tighter against my clit. Each movement would send a wave of pleasure through my body as it betrayed me.

The vibrator still laid in place, only when the batteries died did he remove it, only to place it back inside me, some days it seemed more powerful than before, other times my body was able to shut itself off from the intrusion. The banging in the other room could be heard, as something was being dragged along the floor.

I heard movement towards the door the handle turning before it opened. The dim light, which filtered into the room, hurt my eyes causing me to close them slightly.

"Good morning Jennifer" Simon said, his voice seemed slightly gentler than normal, which never settled anything inside.

I had come to realise that no one would find me, no one would know where I am. I knew the only possible way was, if they got bored of me and ended my life, dumping my body, which in time would be found.

"Morning" I whispered back.

The fear of having that gag placed back in my mouth made me respond, my jaw ached with the freedom to move, my voice sounded as though sandpaper had been scratched cruelly against it. I felt like I had been held here forever, I couldn't recall how long it was, I had tried to count but, with the coming and going from the room which held me. Only confused me more.

His fingers cupped my chin forcing my unfocused eyes to meet his, he smiled at me I wish I could see evil in his eyes but I do not, I see blankness nothing! Most killers have cold eyes but they always seem to have a sort of light behind them. Simon's eyes were vacant, almost dead, there was nothing not even a glimmer of life held in them.

"I have a nice surprise for you this morning" he smiled almost cruelly at me.

I couldn't help but swallow deeply as he yanked me to my feet, clasping the chains together, I couldn't help the moan which emanated from my lips, as everything rubbed against me, the feeling of movement inside me, had sent my senses into over drive.

He pushed me forward taking me into another room, I shivered as I remembered this room, it was the one Robert had brought me into where he had pierced my nipples, though the chair had gone and in its place laid a type of swing, as I looked with widened eyed at it I knew what it was. Emily and I had spoken about getting one, a love swing or sex swing, the fear laced my body. He pushed me forward towards it, I hadn't noticed the other equipment, as my eyes fell up on the sex machine.

I stood frozen. "Oh god" I couldn't help the words leaving my lips, as I looked on in horror.

I had seen the things before, I had often flicked over the BDSM websites as Emily and me looked for new toys and different ways to keep our sex life fresh, but this in front of me laced my body, frozen with fear.

"Allow me to explain something to you Jennifer" Simon seemed to sneer as my body stayed frozen to the spot, "You do everything I ask, and you enjoy everything I give to you. And I won't have to send Robert to fetch your daughter, do you understand?" he asked.

My body was numb as the words registered in my mind, I could only nod. I could not and would not allow them to even go near her **'Where are you baby'** I prayed that Emily had been brought back home. Nevertheless, I knew how the uncover operations worked; they would not inform her even if my body was found.

"Good," his voice changed again.

The control he had over my body and mind was sickening, the chains were loosened slightly as he walked me over to the leather swing, between Simon and Robert I was lifted onto it, my wrists locked in one position and my ankles locked opening me fully too them.

I moaned at the loss between my legs, as they finally removed the vibrator, I could not help closing my eyes; I did not want to see what they were doing or going to do to me. The chain, which laced my body, was loosened as I felt the pressure ease on my clit.

I opened my eyes only to wish I hadn't, metal cups where placed on my breasts, each with its own set of wires, my heart sunk knowing what was coming, what was going to happen.

The tears ran from my eyes as they attached each wire to the outlet source. The steel glinted in the corner of my eye as I looked on. My body shook uncontrollably as I looked at two solid stainless steel dido's each with a wire running away from them. Simon placed his hand on my face as he looked into my tear stained and blood shocked eyes.

"I think you best have this, I wouldn't want you to scream to loudly" the end was said as an evil laugh took over.

I could not disagree as I opened my mouth passively, I could not risk anything happening to Amy. He lifted it up into my eye line. I couldn't help but heave slightly, it wasn't the one Robert had place against my lips this gag, had a black rubber dildo attached to it as he placed it between my teeth I couldn't help but gag slightly as my tongue was pressed down. The blindfold was again placed over my eyes, sending me back into a world of darkness and more fear than ever. Tears ran freely seeping through the blindfold covering my cheeks.

"You best be a good girl, we have friends visiting tonight" the laughter filled the room, only to be taken over by the slamming of the door. I bit down against the gag as the electricity started to pulsate through my body.

* * *

**Location: Texas**

**Day & Time: Tuesday, 13.05**

Emily smiled to herself after returning from the last drop of the day, she had made more headway in the ring, though she also despised herself at the same time. She wondered if her heart was going to repair after the things she had done, and worried greatly that JJ would hate her if she knew.

Locking the door in the small apartment, which she had been renting for the past two and a half months, she flicked on the TV switching it to her favourite channel. JJ would often walk out the room as CCN came on; she could never understand why after being at work Emily would enjoy relaxing in front of the news channel.

Now she looked on slightly opened jawed as Hotch stood at the podium outside the FBI headquarters, his voice crackling through the old speakers.

' **Thank you all for coming,'** Hotch started **. 'We are looking for information with regards to this person’s whereabouts,'**

Emily heaved as she saw a picture of her wife come upon the screen, she looked back in shock as she saw her princess standing there next to Hotch. Emily could tell Amy had not had much sleep deep dark circles laced her outer eyes.

"Oh baby" Emily whispered as tears fell from her eyes.

' **Please come home Ma'** Amy pleaded as she looked straight into the camera, anger burned deep inside Emily, as she threw something into a black hold-hall.

' **Jennifer Jareau was last seen leaving her place of work on the 2nd February at 16.47'**

Emily couldn't help but bring up the bile, JJ had been missing for over a month and no one had tried to reach her. Emily's heart broke; she pulled herself together as she raced down the steps. She knew it was going to take a few days for her to get home, Emily also knew she would lose her badge, but she didn't care she needed to be home and she needed to find her wife.

* * *

**Location: Unknown**

**Day & Time: Sunday, 07.02**

His friends had finally left, as I heard him come down the hallway the door creaking as he stepped inside, "I like a woman that knows her place" I bit down on the gag as he removed the devices from inside me, my body shuddered as though they were still attached.

As I felt him inside me I let, the darkness take over me again.


	14. Chapter 14

**Emily**

**Location: Near Jack Brooks Regional Airport**

**Day & Time: Sunday, 18.47**

Emily made her way towards the airport stopping at the store to pick up a burn phone. She dials the number she knew by heart, she took a deep breath as she waited for the line to pick up.

A very weary Garcia answered, "Hello,"

Emily closed her eyes slightly "I want you to get me on the next flight out of Jack Brooks Airport and Garcia I do not want anyone knowing I am coming back" Emily said firmly, trying to hold the anger back.

The sound of tapping could be heard as she waited for Garcia to answer "There is one leaving in two hours" Garcia said her voice wavered slightly.

"Thank you," Emily closed her eyes slightly. "I want you to have everything ready by the time I get there please Pen, and not a word to the team or to Amy"

Garcia stared at the phone, "Emily, I am so sorry"

Emily couldn't help but feel for her friend she could hear the tears in her voice as she spoke, "Garcia, you find me everything you can okay, I will be there soon, and Garcia if there is an earlier flight get me on it" Emily said her voice still firm but more gentle than before.

* * *

**Location: BAU**

**Day & Time: Sunday, 23.05**

Emily walked into the bullpen, only the ghost staff were around but the light shining in the conference room told her either all the team were here or just Garcia. Slowly she walked up the catwalk; she closed her eyes slightly trying to settle her temper, though she knew she would fail.

Without knocking, she opened the door to see her friend sitting at the table "Ma!" Amy's eyes went wide; Emily gave a soft smile as she wrapped her arms around her daughter pulling her close.

"Can you give me a moment with Garcia please Amy" Amy nodded making her way out the room; she gave her Ma a sad smile as she headed down the catwalk to her Mom's office. "I want to know everything Garcia"

* * *

**Location: Unknown**

**Day & Time: Monday, 02.17**

I am not sure I can take much more of this, my body hurts everywhere there is no reprieve from it, he had increased the electric current as my body jerks every time, I am no longer able to switch off from it. The chains pull hard against my nipples, tears no longer form. I guess this will be my fate as I wait for my body to give up.

Sleep only comes when my body allows me to give away to the darkness, which hangs over my head like a vice waiting to snap shut on me at any moment, and in truth I am glad when that happens it gives me some solace even though it is not for too long.

They seem to only leave for a few hours and each time they enter, it becomes worse, each time they do something different to me. I do as they ask because I fear for my daughter's safety; I just hope they have managed to find Emily. I miss my baby boy, I am not sure how much his small mind can cope with all this, first Emily goes away and now I have gone with not so much of a goodbye.

I wonder if anyone has thought to pull the CCTV from our house or would Garcia thought of about the name I gave her. I feel as though I have been here for months if not years, how has my body not given in to this?

* * *

**Location: BAU**

**Day & Time: Monday, 02.29**

Emily had gone through everything Garcia and the team had managed to find, she looks at Garcia for a moment, "I am just going to check on Amy, Garcia can you get a list of everyone who ever threatened Jennifer or myself, please" Garcia gave a slight nod.

"We will find her Emily" Garcia said softly.

Emily could only give a sad but soft smile. "Get that list for me Garcia; have you given a description of Jennifer to the morgue?" Emily asked as Garcia's eyes went wide.

"Emily don't think like that, we will find her and bring her home"

Emily half shook her head "Just fax them one please, just in case" with that Emily closed the door as she made her way down the catwalk and into the familiar office, she couldn't help but smile as she looked at Amy, who was curled up with one of JJ's jackets.

Emily made her way over kneeling down next to the sofa as she ran her fingers gently through her hair, Amy had always made her settle from the day she was born, but she knew her body wouldn't settle fully until her wife was back in her arms.

The action of fingers touching her made Amy stir from her sleep her eyes slowly opening as she tried to focus on familiar brown eyes "Ma," her voice was weak and full of tears as she wrapped herself into Emily's arms, "I'm sorry Ma" she managed to get out before tears over took her body.

"Shh, you have nothing to be sorry for, I am so proud of you baby" Emily said softly as she pulled her closer. "You have been so brave darling," Emily's fingers ran through Amy's hair offering as much comfort as she could.

"We will find her wont we Ma?" Amy asked as the tears subsided. Emily nodded against her not trusting her voice.

"Amy, I need you to do something for me okay sweetheart" Emily ask softly as her daughter pulled away so she was able to look at Emily's face.

"Anything" Emily could not help but smile.

"First I want you to get some sleep okay, Garcia is going to help me find out as much as we can" Amy nodded,

"Ma we have tried everything" Amy said her eyes pleading with her mother.

"I know sweetheart, I need to see everything for myself okay." Amy nodded, "Secondly, once you have had some sleep" Emily raised her eyebrow giving her a slightly pointed look.

"I want you to come into the conference room and go through everything that happened from me going undercover to your Mom going missing, can you do that?" Emily asked as Amy nodded.

"Okay Ma," Emily kissed her forehead as she pulled a blanket from behind the sofa.

"Just rest princess" Emily said before moving slowly out of the room switching the lamp off before closing the door and making her way back into the conference room.

* * *

For the next four hours, Emily went through all the paperwork that the team had gathered, each lead they had followed, even though each avenue had drawn nothing for them aside from sore feet and more paperwork than they had ever done on a single case.

However, Emily could not help the anger towards them, she was angry not because something had happened to her beloved wife, but because it had taken them six weeks to get a message to her or even try and find her. Deep down Emily also knew that Amy was more than likely behind the press conference than any member of the team.

At one stage they were family, but now it was as though they were strangers, each of them working alone, not looking to each other for help, Emily herself had come so far in the years since joining the BAU, although it had taken her being nearly killed for her to fully open up, to fully allow her guard to falter slightly, though JJ had always seen past the walls for the most part, and even JJ knew there was something that Emily kept hidden, but she had always hoped that one day the walls would be fully pulled down. However, for now the walls were up even tighter than before.

* * *

**Location: BAU**

**Day & Time: Monday, 05.07**

Emily had made her way through the files as she waited for her daughter to wake. The door to the conference opened slowly "Ma?" Amy said, still unsure if she had dreamt that her Mother was back, Emily lifted her head as she looked into dull brown eyes.

"Come here kiddo" Emily said softly giving a gentle smile, for now she could give her slight comfort even if it wasn't for long.

Amy sat in front of her Ma, as Emily asked her everything from the moment she had left to the moment her Mom had gone away on the case, to the last phone call.

"Is that everything you can remember Amy?" Emily asked, as she now held red and tear stained eyes in her own.

"A man came to the house looking for you," Amy said, Emily swallowed slightly.

"What man?" Emily asked she frowned slightly.

"He said he was a friend asked where you were" Amy said as Emily stared at her,

"Did he say who he was Amy?"

Amy nodded "Thomas Jones," Emily frowned the name did not sound familiar

"Amy, who did he ask for?" Emily tried again,

"Asked to speak to you"

Emily smiled "Did he ask for me by my name?" Emily sighed internally some days talking to Amy was like drawing blood from a stone, but she also knew that her daughter was worried and scared, and missing her Mom deeply.

"He asked to see my Mom" Emily turned looking straight at Garcia.

"Run that name" she growled out as Amy looked on worried.

"Did I do something wrong Ma" Emily shook her head, not fully trusting her voice. Her fingers traced down her daughter's cheek wiping the tears away.

"No darling" Emily managed to whisper. "Garcia pull my CCTV from the house," Emily ordered more than she asked, the turning of the door handle pulled them both from their thoughts.

"Garcia, please tell" his voice came to a halt as his jaw dropped as he looked at his partner. "Emily," he let out in a slight breathe, Emily tensed slightly, before turning back to her daughter.

"Go into Mom's office please Amy," Amy did not need to be told twice she already sensed her Ma's temper before Morgan had stepped foot in the door.

Once her daughter was out of ear Emily's eyes fell on to Morgan she glared at him, stopping herself as she tried to get the anger under control before she spoke.

"It took you six goddamn weeks to get hold of me." She watched Morgan swallow slightly "Not one of you tried, not one of you. It took my daughter saying about a damn press conference to get a message to me. You put this on her shoulders each and every one of you."

Hotch stood to the side of Morgan, just as she had started to scolded him her eyes turned to him, he took it knowing if this was him he would feel the same, Emily had every right to be angry, but even he knew it wasn't fully at the team or him.

"And not one of you even mastered up the bright idea to question her!" Emily glared at them both.

"Why would we question her?" Morgan asked softly, Emily could not help the dry laugh that came out of her mouth.

"Mainly because she would know if any strangers have been around. Alternatively, might be the fact that Jennifer was not just a random target. She never parks in the same spot; the day she disappeared, was the day after a man came to the house looking for Amy's Mom! Or the fact that she may only be a child but she knows a hell of a lot more than any of you realise."

The ringing of the phone disturbed her from the rant, which was more frustration than it was blame, even though part of her did blame them.

"Prentiss," Emily said as she placed the phone on speaker.

"This is Dr Sharpe, I am the Chief Medical Examiner, I got your fax early this morning, there has been a woman brought in that matches the description." Emily swallowed back the bile as she spoke trying to control her voice so it did not wavier.

"I will be with you within half an hour" Emily said as she looked at Hotch.


	15. Chapter 15

**Location: City Morgue**

**Day & Time: Monday, 08.47**

Morgan walked outside as he tried to catch up to Emily, her body leaned against the metal railings that ran alongside the small garden as she vomited, she hadn't spoken much and the glare she gave him, gave him a slight unease, he stood behind her his hand gently rubbing her back waiting for her to settle slightly.

"Come on, Emily" he said sadly, as he wrapped his arm around her slumped form. Which seemed to have collapsed the second she looked at the body.

The drive back to the BAU was made in silence, silent tears rolled down Emily's face as Morgan tried his best to keep his mind from wandering too much. The drive seemed to take forever as he pulled into the parking lot. Emily seemed deflated, as though everything had been taken away from her, as though all her fears had hit her like a tidal wave of emotion that washed across her. In truth, she was numb.

Not a word had been spoken between the two of them, mainly because Morgan had no words to offer and he also doubted Emily wanted to hear them right now, the second was because Emily was breaking slowly and trying to hold herself and her anger inside, though she knew she was failing just by looking into the sad eyes of Morgan she knew.

Emily had slightly come out of the stagnate shock that she had been in since she had looked at the body, as she built up the walls sheltering herself from everyone and everything she couldn't afford to break.

* * *

Her shoulders straightened as she made her way through the bullpen, up the stairs and along the catwalk, she opened the door to the conference room, her eyes seemed deader than any of them had ever seen before.

Garcia gasped as she took in the blank vacant expression her friend wore before she looked passed her and in to sad brown eyes which belonged to Morgan, he could only shake his head slightly and give a sad but comforting smile.

"What have you found?" Emily asked her voice lacked any life to it.

Garcia sighed as she looked at Hotch and Rossi, each member of the team wore the same expression as the other, broken and sad but yet each one of them were focused.

"We have managed to pull a very clear still of the man that came to your house," Hotch said as Rossi pressed a button pulling the picture onto the TV screen. "Garcia is running it through all the databases and also through DMV, hopefully we will get a hit soon," he said softly. Emily frowns for a moment. The piercing green eyes seem to bore into her she tilted her head slightly. She had seen those eyes before.

Reid looked at her for a moment "What is it Emily" she turned looking at him.

"Those eyes I have seen them before" her voice was lower than normal, "Has anyone checked Jennifer's mail?" Emily asked, as she looked straight at Hotch.

"We have been monitoring everything that has come into JJ's office, they have all been official documents and a few letters which we have opened, were from families we have helped."

Emily turned walking back out the conference room, opening the door to JJ's office she entered quietly noticing that Amy was asleep, she picked up the stack of mail, which were stacked on the desk before closing the door softly.

Emily placed the mail on the round table, "We need to go through these," she stated not waiting for anyone to disagree which her, the official documents were split into piles as she passed a stack to each of them.

Some were from the profiles, each of them had given, somewhere from law enforcement, saying thank you and letting them know how the case had ended or if they need more help.

Emily froze slightly as she looked at the letter, she could tell before opening that it had been sent from a jail, but it did not look as though it was from an inmate, she opened it carefully her eyes widened in slight shock and horror.

"They let him out" Emily whispered as Hotch looked at her.

"Let who out?" Reid asked Emily swallowed trying to keep the bile down; she passed the letter to Hotch who immediately got on the phone.

"Simon Ansell, was released early Friday evening, the same day JJ disappeared. However, it would not have been possible for him to come anywhere near here, once he had been dropped off at the bail hostel; he had stayed there till Saturday afternoon." Hotch paused slightly as his eyes landed on Emily.

Emily sighed slightly as she waited for him to carry on.

"He had told the staff he was going to look around the town as he needed to pick up some toiletries, he hasn't been seen since" Hotch swallowed slightly as Emily slammed the chair against the table.

"Why the hell weren't you informed he was getting out, the hearing wasn't for another five months," Emily said her voice full of anger.

Rossi cut in before Emily could speak again "Do we know if he had any family?" he asked looking at Garcia.

"I can try, though when I last went through his file it did state that he had a wife, but she disappeared over 19 years ago,"

* * *

**Location: Unknown**

**Day & Time: Monday, 14.02**

I have given up, I have lost everything, and I have lost myself, somewhere in between the different toys, the electric shocks, and the clamp against my clit. I have resolved myself into the fact that I will die here, as I am lowered down on top of Robert, I no longer care what they do, their sick twisted games. I am numb to it all.

Though I can't help the moan as he enters my body, I remembered the threat all too clearly, do as I am told and enjoy it or they will get Amy, and that is something I could never allow, even though I know I will never see her again the least I can do is protect her from these men.

His body thrusts against mine as I moan, my breathing becoming heavy as a man stands above me.

"She is just perfect" I heard him whisper as my teeth lock onto the gag which is placed inside my mouth. The man seems to enjoy playing with the battery pack, which is still attached to the cups on my breasts. He turns it up higher and I can feel the scream gathering deep within my chest.

I know Simon is in the room I can hear him chuckling to himself or at me, which was the normal thing that had come to be, I knew I had lost weight and muscle tone as I was unable to walk now the chains and cuffs had been removed from my ankles at some point, everything just seems to blur into one now.

Everything seemed to happen at once, voices mulled into one as they both roughly entered me, my eyes became heavy as they buried themselves deep inside me, I felt my body closing down, my eyes had long since closed, this was it this was how I was going to die, I heard someone grunt and wetness run down my legs.

I was pulled roughly off Robert, my eyes looking straight as Simon who now had me in his grasp. He carried me over to the wall; I longed for the bed just some comfort for my sore and tired body.

"I have a treat for you," Simon whispered in my ear and I could only nod in my reply. I watched him as he lifted the steel dildos so I could see. He seemed to place them gently inside me this time.

Robert pulled me down as he wrapped his arms around my form, this was the only time my body was able to relax from the shocks that ran against my skin. He carried me into another room and I knew Simon had followed. I saw the sly smile as he placed the blind fold over my eyes.

The cool metal hit my skin as I was submerged inside what I could only guess is a bath. The clamp was placed back against my clit pulling the chains tightly on my nipples; I waited for the pulses to rip through my body, as my head hit the side of the metal tub. I was again plunged into the darkness of the abyss.

* * *

**Location: BAU**

**Day & Time: Monday, 14.53**

"I GOT HIM" Garcia yelled causing the team to stare at her slightly.

"Give me the address Garcia" Emily said firmly not giving Hotch a chance.

"Morgan you go with Emily," Hotch said as Garcia sent them all the address. Morgan nodded as he raced after Emily's retreating form.


	16. Chapter 16

**Location: 109 Kirby Road**

**Day & Time: Monday, 15.35**

The drive to the address was made in silence each of them lost in their own thoughts, Morgan pulled up at the end of the road he looked at his partner.

"We will bring her home Emily" he said softly, Emily gave a weak smile as she nodded not trusting her voice.

They all placed their vests on as Hotch addressed each of them, "Morgan, Prentiss you go around the back, Reid, Rossi you take the front, we go in slowly, let swat clear the room, no one splits up and no heroics." He gave Emily and Morgan a pointed look as each of them made the short walk towards the house.

The house seemed to be abandon, the windows were half boarded up, and the team could tell it hadn't been lived in for years, it had been vacant since they had arrested him, they split up each going to their points of entry, and Hotch had a swat team with him. With precision, they all entered the house at the same time keeping their movements slow and quiet as they cleared each room.

The house showed no signs of life, the dust covered every surface even the floor had about an inch of dust, they made their way to the final door leading down to the basement, and the dust floated it in the air, after years of lying dormant the air circulated causing it to lift. Emily shook her head as she began to make her way back up the stairs towards the front of the house.

Morgan followed her, the team could see the look of hopelessness on her face as they gave Morgan some space to go and talk to her.

"Emily" he said softly as he placed his hand on her shoulder, "We will find her, Garcia is checking everything, we will bring her home," he said softly.

* * *

The anger and fear which had been building ever since she was in Texas was like a volcano waiting to erupt to spill each and every emotion she had kept so tightly inside, she couldn't face him. Yes, she was angry, she had blamed the team from the second she had seen the press conference, but even she knew her partner and the team would never have allowed her to be taken if they could have stopped it.

Morgan stood behind her feeling all the tension in her shoulder that he had his hand placed on, they all had fear in them, each one of them consumed with guilt that they hadn't noticed, they hadn't thought to ask Amy if she had seen someone or noticed anything strange. None of them had thought to see if Emily had CCTV at her home.

Each one felt they had failed her and Emily; they had failed to protect one of their own again. Though none of them admitted it they each blamed themselves, they knew Emily would blame them, they should have tried harder to reach her, and they should have looked harder to where Emily was and brought her home sooner.

Emily finally turned around her eyes held tears which laced to the brim ready to fall, fear laced the whole of her face as she looked at him.

"We have to find her" Emily said her voice filled with fear and anger, all Morgan could do was nod.

"We will Emily, I promise, we won't stop until we have her back home" Morgan promised.

It was that statement that pushed her resolve, as her fists hit Morgan in the chest, the pain and fear spilling out as he wrapped her shaking form in his arms, allowing the pent up anger to spill out.

The team moved further away giving them more privacy, as Hotch got on the phone. "Garcia please tell me you have found something" Hotch said firmly.

Garcia swallowed as she watched the screen filter through the pictures hoping to get a hit, "THAT'S HIM" Amy shouted from behind her causing Garcia to jump slightly.

The flash of four pictures filled the screen as Amy pointed to him. "Are you sure Amy?" Garcia asked as she pulled up his dmv recorder.

"Yes, that is the man that came to the house," Amy said firmly.

"Garcia?" Hotch said listening to Amy

"I am just getting an address," Garcia said as three address came up on the screen.

"Hotch I have three address" she whispered worrying she would give them the wrong one again. Knowing two of the three could end up being a wild goose chase.

"Garcia," he started softly,

"Two of the houses are much like the one you are at," she paused slightly as another address popped up on her screen, though the title was in another's name. She paused as she ran a search on the address. "Another one has come up, it is in his wife's maiden name" she said softly, "It is an old farm house with a lot of open space, no traffic would be able to get there, and by the looks from the satellite there is a dirt road leading from the south of the property"

"Garcia see if there have been any utilities used in that house," Hotch said, as he motioned for Emily and Morgan to come over.

The line went silent for a few moments as Garcia's fingers tapped against the keyboard, "There seems to have been a surge in electricity in the past four months, looking at the images the track leading up to the property is gravel,"

Hotch sighed knowing if they were to drive up it could give who ever lived in the house warning that they were coming and if JJ was there they could be placing her in more danger.

"Send me the coordinates," Hotch said as they all started to get in the vehicles,

"Already sent," Amy's voice could just be heard as she asked them to bring her mommy home. Hotch gave a said smile as he said his thanks, not wanting to promise her anything.

* * *

**Time: 16.57**

The address was on the opposite side of town, it was over an hour's drive even with their sirens blaring.

"We will park just down the road, Garcia has sent an email detailing the entry points of the property, we will go in from the sides, away from the road leading up," he paused slightly. "We go in hard and fast" Hotch said, he could hear the hitched breath of Emily as he spoke.

His heart went out to her, JJ was the heart of their team, she was the one person who kept the younger agents in line, she was the voice of reason most of the time, he worried of what they would find, each of them worried that they would be too late but not wanting to voice their thoughts. Neither of them ready to face what lay ahead of them.

Swat spread out as they all made their way along the field, they had no shelter from being seen the only thing they had was the element of surprise, the anger which burned in each of them, the fear subsiding as the anger and frustration had long taken over, each one had thoughts spilling in their minds, each one praying in silence that they weren't too late. The adrenalin pumping through their bodies as they finally approached the house.

Movement could be heard from inside as they surrounded the house. Emily swallowed hard, part of her wanted to burst through the door, the other half of her felt sick to the stomach of what they may find when they did enter the house.

She was unsure if she would be able to hold back her anger or would she lash out before she had even found her wife? Was her world going to be destroyed forever?

Laughter filled the opened space, which surrounded the house; the sickening jokes could be heard. Emily could only hold back the bile, which tried to lace her throat. She was ready to go to hell and back, she no longer cared if she lost her badge, no longer wanting to hold back the anger, which was taking over her body. The voice of her partner filled her earpiece.

"Emily no matter what happens, do not do anything stupid, JJ needs you, so please" she looked over at her partner giving him a silent nod with a weakened smile.

The house had three entry points, the front porch, side and back. They had moved past the small doors, which lay, on the floor Emily frowned as she looked at Morgan. he nodded at her answering the silent question, as he cleared it with Hotch three teams would now enter the main house while Morgan and Emily entered from the basement.

* * *

Morgan slowly opened the hatched doors making his way down first as Emily followed closing the doors softly behind her; they waited for the signal as they slowly made their way through the narrow walkways clearing each room as they went.

The windows being smashed up stairs seemed to echo into the vacant space they were in, the smell of iron lingered in the air. The faint buzzing could be heard from a few feet away, the dim lights flickered as though they would die out at any second.

The smell of stale urine hanged in the air attacking their senses, the look on Emily and Morgan's face only showed how strong the scent was, the further up the corridor they moved the stronger it had become, the smell of iron seemed to give away to it.

The slight banging could be heard as Morgan placed his hand on the handle so Emily could enter first. Morgan gave Emily a slight nod, the tension still lingered as Morgan began to open the door slowly.

Emily entered the dim room as she again heard the buzz and crackling, which was then followed by a slight bang, they could only make out the shadows, which filled the room as Morgan located the light switch, and Emily looked around the now dimly lit room as her eyes adjusted.

Her eyes widened as she saw JJ's naked form the wires leading from her body to the machine at the side. "Oh god," Emily whispered as she finally looked at her, "Morgan help me" she said trying to suppress the sob, which wanted to rip from her throat.

Morgan placed his fingers on her neck; he swallowed hard as he tried to locate a pulse.


	17. Chapter 17

**Location: Simon & Robert Ansell's Home. Basement **

**Day & Time: Monday, 17.16**

"Help me get these off her" Emily said softly as she looked at the metal chains that had JJ strapped against the bathtub, the cuffs dug cruelly against her wrists and ankles, the electric supply had been disconnected, though Emily couldn't help but look sadly at her partner. "Morgan," her eyes pleaded with him.

* * *

**Meanwhile upstairs.**

The three teams had made entry as they swept every room, before making their way up the wooden steps, Rossi took the lead followed by Reid and a few of the swat team. They checked each bedroom, but nothing, Reid pointed up to the hatch, which would lead up to the loft area, and Reid was able to reach up to pull the hatch down while the swat team covered him just in case the suspects were hiding up there.

"All clear Hotch" Rossi said into the mic as they slowly made their way back down, Hotch had managed to locate the door to the basement, and Morgan and Emily had yet to come up and he couldn't hear anything through his earpiece.

* * *

**Basement**

A soft click could be heard from outside the room, though neither of them noticed as Morgan still tried to locate a pulse. The anger boiled in both of them as they could see most of the injuries that JJ had suffered.

"I wouldn't do that if I was you" came the gruff voice behind them, causing Morgan and Emily's heads to snap around, Emily's hand rested on her gun, as Simon levelled his weapon at her.

"Move away from her" he ordered. Morgan slowly stood. Both Morgan and Emily acting as a shield as the stood in front of JJ.

"Drop the gun its over" Morgan said firmly, though he would love to take a shot at the man whom stood in front of him, but the other side of him wanted him to pay.

Another shadow could be seen coming behind towards the doorway. Simon released the safety off the gun as his finger twitched on the trigger, which was now levelled with Emily's face.

"Move away from her" her ordered again as Robert showed himself standing behind Simon.

They inched forward slightly, "Drop the gun" Morgan said as Emily stared at him, her eyes burned with anger though her face held a smirk which Morgan hadn't seen, her head tilted slightly, part of her dying for him to take the shot, wishing she could have a reason to blow his brains all over his son and the room which they were in.

Emily's hand still rested on her gun as Morgan's gun was trained on him, though she was no longer staring at Simon her eyes were set on the man stood behind her, the man whom had come to her home, spoken to their child and the one whom had taken her wife.

Morgan cast a glance at Emily seeing the look on her face he winced slightly he had seen the blank expression and anger before, though now it was ten times that. He swallowed slightly, as Simon took a step forward, the cocky grin that took over her face was one of pure rage, and Robert moved so he was now stood next to Simon it was like stalemate, each one of them waiting for the other to move, each of them wanting to take that shot.

Though Emily never drew her weapon, a bullet to his head would be too quick she wanted them to suffer she wanted to take them with her bare hands. Emily moved ever so slightly making sure he hadn't noticed.

"Drop your weapon" Emily hissed out the venom that came out of her mouth caused Morgan to cringe slightly, he knew this wasn't going to end well.

Simon inched forward again, "Move away from her or I will shoot" he sneered, Emily begged him to follow through, begged him to make the mistake. Morgan's eyes were focused on him as his finger flexed again on the trigger, it was all his needed as he took his shot.

Emily lunged at Robert her fist connecting with his jaw as she knocked him to the floor, she straddled over him as she hit him again, his head banging against the solid flooring, the blood spilling from his nose as her fist hit it hard, causing it to break, he cried out in pain, his arms and body thrashing as he tried to overpower her.

The anger that had erupted inside her at the sight of her beloved wife, had sent her into a primal rage; she did not just want him dead, she wanted him dead by her hands not through a bullet not through anything else or anyone else.

This was the man whom had been near her daughter, whom had taken her children's Mom away from them, the man whom had held her for nearly two months while everyone else suffered and feared for her wife.

Morgan watched on as he whispered into his mic alerting the rest of the team, not wanting to pull Emily off, he could only watch as the anger in Emily spilled out of her and every ounce of it transferring on to him.

His arms went limp as she continued to punch him, she no longer cared she wanted him to die by her hands, she was stopped abruptly as strong arms wrapped around her pulling her off his limp form.

"Get off me" Emily hissed, she didn't want to stop.

"Emily it's over, its over" came the soft firm voice of Rossi.

Rossi kept his arms around her for a moment as Emily calmed slightly, her eyes fell on Morgan whom was turned around cutting the chains free from the bath.

"Let me go" Emily said her voice lacking any life, Rossi nodded as he released his grip.

* * *

Hotch stood in the doorway with Reid before he turned looking at him, "Reid can you go and meet the medics they should be here by now," he said softly, wanting nothing more than to check on his agent, but by looking at Emily he knew she wouldn't allow anyone other than Morgan near her.

"I need a blanket" Morgan said as Emily scooped her lifeless form out of the tub, placing JJ's body on her lap.

"I've got you babe" she whispered softly as she rocked her slightly in her arms.

"Rossi, stay with them while I go and ring Garcia" Rossi gave a quick nod as a member of the swat team handed him a blanket.

"Oh baby, what did they do to you?" Emily whispered as her voice broke, Emily pulled JJ's body closer to hers. Morgan made his way back over to Emily as Rossi stood in the doorway; he looked at his partner for a moment.

* * *

Emily was sat on the floor, JJ laid in her lap as Emily rocked them both "Em," he said softly as he made his way over, she looked up sadly at him. "They will be here soon" Emily nodded as he wrapped the blanket around JJ.

"Can you" Emily tried as she moved slightly, "I need to get her out of here" her eyes pleaded with him as he moved slowly, placing his arms gently under her so he could lift her out of Emily's lap so she was able to stand. "Thank you," Morgan could only nod as Emily took her back into her arms so they could make their way up the stairs.

The door slowly opened as they made their way into the house, Emily following slowly behind him with Rossi following behind her. Morgan had already stopped Emily from removing the contraptions, which laced JJ's body, the cuffs on her ankles could be seen as both of them trying to shelter her body from prying eyes.

* * *

The sound of the ambulance could be heard coming up the gravelled driveway as Emily moved towards the front of the house. The team, techs and some of the swat team where gathered in the front room and along the porch outside, each one of them falling silent as Emily and Morgan took JJ outside.

"I can't leave her Morgan" Emily whispered as the medics rushed out of the ambulance.

"I know and you won't," he said softly as both Emily and Morgan made their way over.

"Ma'am" one of the medics said softly.

"Please let me," Emily whispered not wanting anyone else's hands to touch JJ's body.

"This is her wife," Morgan said, as though that was the only explanation they needed as they helped her up the few steps into the back of the ambulance. "Emily, we will meet you there okay" Emily looked at him blankly as she nodded before her eyes fell back on JJ, who was now being strapped on to the gurney.

* * *

Morgan's eyes fell straight onto Hotch, the anger boiling over after seeing his friend in such a state. "How is she?" Hotch asked, Morgan could not help but scoff slightly as he stared back at the house.

"Not good" was all he could say.

"Morgan," he shook his head.

"I told Emily we would meet her there. Has anyone rung Garcia?" Morgan asked.

"Yes, they are both meeting us at the hospital.

“Morgan how bad is it?" Rossi asked, as he stood straight in front of him cutting his line of sight from the house.

He shook his head as he spoke "I don't know, I could only just find a pulse."


	18. Chapter 18

**Location: Memorial Hospital, Virginia**

**Day & Time: Monday, 18.03**

Emily paced outside the double doors, which JJ had been taken through as soon as they had gotten there, Emily stood there wishing she could see through the doors, she just wanted to be with her wife.

"Ma'am, would you like to follow me," the young nurse asked as Emily paced slightly, she nodded slightly, though her eyes lingered to the doors before she moved to follow the nurse.

The nurse led Emily down the short corridor to the small waiting room, the soft chairs lined the walls, and the small coffee table was filled with magazines.

"My daughter and team should be arriving soon" Emily said, her voice lacked any type of life or emotion.

"I will send them through,"

Emily nodded "How" the words failed her, the nurse gave a soft kind smile.

"I will come and speak to you as soon as we have an update." Emily could only nod in response as she collapsed into the chair.

* * *

Emily stared at the floor picking at her nails, she hadn't even heard the door open or heard anyone enter the room, soft hands wrapped around her fingers stopping her from picking the skin even more.

"Ma," the soft voice of her daughter filled her ears, Emily swallowed as she looked into dull brown eyes.

Garcia had taken the seat next to her, and Emily had yet to fully acknowledge either of them, other than pulling Amy on to her lap, holding onto her for dear life.

The rest of the team piled in shortly after Garcia had arrived, Morgan looked at his partner before looking back at Hotch and Rossi. Silently asking them to give them both the room,

"Reid, Garcia lets go and get us all a coffee.”

"Hey kid" Morgan said softly as he looked at Amy.

"Hey" she looked at him sadly.

Emily stared at the floor lost in her own thoughts. JJ had arrested twice on the way to the hospital, the image of them bringing her back, was stuck on replay in her mind.

Her hand and clothes were still covered in blood, the blank expression covered her face as though no one was there with her, and Amy could feel her Ma's body trembling underneath hers, as she slowly tried to move off her lap.

Morgan smiled softly as he handed her his phone, "Do you want to ring Casey?" he asked softly to which he gained a slight nod.

Amy moved to the other side of the room as Morgan kneeled in front of Emily trying to get her attention.

"Emily," her eyes landed on him the pain and fear swirled deep in her brown eyes, he cupped her cheek.

She leaned into his touch for comfort, "Shh," he said softly as tears finally began to fall he wrapped his arms around her as he whispered in her ear, "I've got you" his hand rubbed her back as she leaned into his solid frame.

The team came back into the room half an hour later, Emily had still yet to speak, Amy was curled up with Morgan on one side as Emily was wrapped into his other.

"Any news?" Hotch asked as he closed the door.

"Nothing yet," Morgan said softly.

* * *

The soft knock on the door made Emily's head snap up, a small blonde haired boy walked into the room followed by Casey, his eyes fell on to his Ma, though Emily didn't seem to fully notice. Henry had not spoken much, Amy had told her Ma but since she had returned, she had not laid eyes on him. Part of her feared looking into broken blue eyes, knowing it would make her crumble and she needed her head to be somewhat clear to find her wife.

"Mama," his voice was so soft and raw.

Emily couldn't help but give him a slight smile as he raced over to her, Emily wrapped her arms around him pulling him close. "I've got you buddy" she whispered softly as he clung to her neck.

The time seemed to drag as though they had been waiting for hours, each of them lost in their own thoughts. Henry was still wrapped in Emily's arms as she rocked him softly giving him some comfort, Amy had moved so she could wrap herself against her Ma's form each of them gaining some type of comfort, while the team watched on.

* * *

**Time: 20.06**

The nurse who had showed her to the waiting room, slowly she opened the door her eyes cast around the room as she spoke softly. "Mrs Prentiss?" Emily's eyes fell on her, her voice slightly raw as she spoke.

"How is she?" Emily asked.

The nurse gave her a kind smile before she spoke, "Jennifer is in recovery, can I have a word please?" she asked as she looked back at the door indicating she wanted to speak in private.

Emily nodded "Casey can you take Henry" Emily asked as she moved slightly, her eyes fell on Morgan asking the silent question of him to go with her.

He had seen the damage that had been inflicted on her wife and if she was honest she did not want to be alone, she needed her partner more now than she ever had done in her life.

Amy stood as though she wanted to follow her, Emily turned her hand cupped her cheek. "You stay here princess" she whispered her voice full of emotion.

* * *

Both Emily and Morgan followed the nurse into the corridor "How is Jennifer?" Emily asked as Morgan stood next to her both of their eyes focused on the nurse.

"She is stable, we will be moving her to ICU soon,"

Emily nodded, "Can I see her?" the nurse gave a soft smile.

"Once we have her comfortable you can."

Emily nodded as she struggled to find the words, "Can you tell us what her injuries are please?" Morgan asked as he wrapped his arm around Emily.

The nurse gave a sad smile, "Jennifer has a dislocated jaw which we have had to pin to help heal, we have removed the piercing from her breasts and we are giving her strong antibiotics to fight the infection," Emily nodded slightly as she listened, "Her ankles and wrists have been stitched were the metal cuffs had dug into her skin, friction burns from the belt which covered her torso" she paused again as she looked at Morgan unsure if Emily wanted him to hear everything.

"What else?" Emily said, the nurse could not help but swallow slightly.

"We are treating her for dehydration, bruising to her arms and legs, inner thighs, also bruising to her back, chest and torso. Internal damage,"

Emily's eyes watered as Morgan held her closer. "The doctor found substantial tearing to her vagina and anus which have both required stitches, when we removed the metal cups from her chest, we found severe burns, there is also slight burn marks to her lower extremities."

Emily could only nod as the tears ran down her cheek, "I need to see her" Emily almost pleaded, the nurse nodded as she spoke kindly.

"As soon as she has been moved out of recovery I will come and get you"

Morgan gave a soft smile "Thank you" he opened the door guiding Emily back into the waiting room, everyone's eyes fell on her, Emily couldn't speak as the emotions became too much, as she broke down in Morgan's arms.

* * *

Garcia made her way over to her friend resting her hand on Emily's back, "Em, let's go and get you cleaned up, you don't want to go and see JJ like that" Garcia said carefully as Rossi passed her Emily's go-bag.

"What if they come back?" Emily said as she tried to calm herself down.

"Sweetie they will wait for you, you don't want JJ to see you covered in blood" Garcia pointed out.

Emily had not even noticed that her clothes and hands still had traces of blood on them; she nodded slightly as Garcia wrapped her arm around her waist.

Garcia led her to the bathroom, locking the door behind them, she studied Emily for a moment, her eyes were red with tears but her heart broke even more as she looked into dull brown eyes, which seemed haunted.

Emily fumbled as she tried to remove her clothes, her body still trembling Garcia gave a sad smile.

"Em, let me help" Garcia said softly as she rested her hand on her arm, Emily could only nod.

* * *

Emily kept Henry wrapped in her arms as the nurse entered the room, she smiled softly at Emily as she spoke.

"We have made her comfortable, if you would like to come with me and I will take you to her room," Emily nodded as she kept hold of Henry as she stood.

"Casey, can you take Henry," Emily knew that she might not be able to keep her emotion under control and if she was to break that last thing she wanted was for Henry to see that, she needed to be strong for both her children.

Though she knew, Amy would want to come with her. "Amy, you stay here I will come and get you shortly okay" Emily said as Amy was now wrapped against her body.

"Mama, please" Amy tried as Emily shook her head, Emily wanted to prepare herself and also wanted to find a way to explain things before her children saw their Mom.

* * *

Emily closed the door as she followed the nurse up the corridor, "She is still sedated, and there are a lot of wires and tubes helping her."

Emily nodded in truth she didn't care, JJ was safe, she was away from the people whom had hurt her, her hand rested on the door to the room, Emily took a deep breath before opening the door, she couldn't help the tears which fell as she looked at her wife.

JJ looked so peaceful, the breathing tube gave Emily more comfort as she watched the rise and fall of her chest, the beating of the monitor was steady, she watched as the steady lines showed her heart was truly beating. Her arms were laced with bandages, Emily made her way further into the room as the nurse whispered softly.

"She can hear you Mrs Prentiss," Emily nodded as she took the seat beside the bed.

Her fingers wrapped around JJ's gently, "Oh baby" she whispered softly as her lips touched her forehead.

"You hang in there darling, your safe now" Emily whispered as she took some comfort that her wife was truly there.

* * *

The nurse opened the door again, as Morgan walked in, "How's she doing" Emily looked at him with sad eyes as she shook her head.

"She's stable" was all Emily could manage her eyes fell back on to JJ as she spoke "Morgan, can you get Amy for me, please?"

Emily would have gone herself but right now she didn't want to leave her wife's side. She did not want JJ to be alone, "Okay, I won't be long" Morgan said as he made his way back out the door.

"I love you so much Jennifer," Emily whispered as the door opened slowly.

"Ma?" Amy said slightly unsure as she looked at her Mom, Emily looked at her daughter as she smiled softly, though the tears still ran down her face.

"Come here princess," Emily said as she held out her hand towards Amy.

Amy made her way towards her Ma slightly unsure as she took in all the equipment's and wires that laced her Mom's body, she looked at the tube which was protruding out of her mouth.

"Ma, what's that?" Amy asked as her eyes fixated on it.

"It’s helping your Mom breath, so she can recover better" Emily sighed she had no clue how to explain anything to her and she knew that it would scare Henry seeing his Mom like this.


	19. Chapter 19

**Location: Memorial Hospital, Virginia**

**Day & Time: Friday, 10.04 (Four days later)**

Emily had spent most of the time going between home and staying at the hospital, she never liked leaving JJ, and she also knew that JJ could wake any day now and the thought of JJ waking while she were not there worried her. However, she also knew that her children needed her.

Henry clung to Emily from the second she walked through the door and he still had not spoken much and Emily worried about how much damage had been done to him, with everything which had happened, Amy could not sleep unless she was in the same bed as her Ma.

This meant that both children shared the bed causing Emily lack of sleep, partly because her bed was covered with small bodies and if she was not being woken by Henry's soft cries, she was woken by Amy thrashing in the bed.

In truth, her family was only just holding it together, each of them missing and worrying about JJ.

* * *

Morgan had called round every day, he tried to help by giving Emily as much support as he could, and the team had all been given a suspension while everything that happened was reviewed.

Emily was in serious trouble for leaving the undercover job, but that was the least of her concerns right now, her wife needed her and her family needed her.

In truth Emily did not care if she lost her job, as her family came first. Henry stayed with Morgan and Casey, while Emily and Amy would go to the hospital, she knew she would have to bring Henry soon, as he had withdrawn that much that Emily was already debating on getting professional help for him.

Though she also wonder if seeing JJ would help him or do more damage right now, since she was still in the hospital, she was just at a loss what to do for the best, but in truth she wanted to wait until JJ had woken so their son wouldn't have to go through any more pain.

Amy would lie in the bed next to her Mom gaining comfort in the fact that she was truly there, she was really here and safe. Emily ran her fingers through JJ's hair as she watched over them both as they slept.

Garcia would call into the hospital in the afternoon, the team seemed to turn up one at a time to check on JJ and Emily, and in truth they were becoming closer than any of them thought was possible.

"I'm just going to get some coffee," Emily said softly as Amy nodded.

* * *

Emily made her way to the waiting room where she knew someone from the team would be there, as they had been every day since they had found JJ.

"How's she doing?" Hotch asked as Emily walked into the room.

"Same as before, no change" Emily said sadly.

She leant against the wall. "Amy is with her," she said softly.

Hotch nodded "how are you doing?" He asked.

Emily could not help but laugh. "You mean in between trying to keep the family together, trying to get Henry to speak." Emily said as Hotch raised an eyebrow.

"So, how are you in yourself?" He asked softly.

"I will be better when Jennifer wakes up," Emily said honestly.

"She will wake up Emily."

"I hope so Hotch," Emily said as her hand rested on the door. "Fancy a coffee." Emily asked as she opened the door to which he nodded.

"Sure, Garcia should be here shortly as well" Hotch said as they walked down the corridor.

* * *

Amy had curled up into JJ, her arm resting gently over the blonde's stomach. JJ shifted slightly in her sleep the fog that had been cast over her the past few days seemed to be easing slightly.

Her body was sore, but she was warmer than she had been in the past seven weeks. JJ groaned slightly as she tried to move but the weight which lay across her stomach, made it hard to move.

JJ had become use to the different feelings and different things they had used on her, she was just grateful that the electric shocks seemed to be gone, though her body still ached.

She tried to open her eyes slightly hoping that they hadn't placed the blindfold back on. JJ swallowed as she opened her eyes only to close them again as the light attacked her vision.

For weeks, JJ had been use to the dim light, the cold. But now she felt warm, her eyes struggled to open again, against the hash light, she could hear the steady hum to the side of her, but the noise never registered as she focused on the white celling.

The steady beeping sent a wave of fear through her, as she waited for the pain which never came. The weight on her torso seemed to pin her, though it was not the hard surface she had been used to. It was softer; her eyes became more use to the light as she moved her head slightly.

Her wrists were no longer bound but she was only able to move one side though it felt like a dead weight. Her body felt numb as though her mind was floating. JJ closed her eyes again as she tried to clear the haze which had fallen over them.

Taking a deep breath she tried again the light this time did not seem to blind her as much, to which she was grateful for. JJ look down at the white sheets, which laced her body.

Her eyes caught a glimpse of the light brown hair at the side of her, sending her into a slight panic "NO" JJ screamed as the light brown hair registered in her mind.

"No! Please! I did everything you asked" JJ screamed out causing Amy to sit up straight

"Mom?" Amy said softy.

"Run, Amy. Please run," JJ pleaded.

The look of fear held in JJ's eyes worried her. "Mom, I'm okay I promise." Amy said softy.

"No please, they'll hurt you, please baby. You need to run and don't look back"

* * *

Emily opened the door slowly hearing the voices and shouting. Part of her wanted to run into the room, but the Agent in her told her to enter slowly.

The sound of the door opening made JJ panic more "Amy, please run while you can, please" JJ said in a sob.

Emily closed the door softly as she carefully made her way over towards the bed, JJ's eyes were red with unshed tears, and fear laced her face. Emily's heart broke as she looked at Amy who was also scared.

JJ did not look at the person whom had entered the room as she spoke. "You promised you would leave her alone. You promised!" JJ said as the fear and panic showed in her voice more.

"Jennifer" Emily said softly as she inched further into the room. JJ's eyes went wide in fear as she heard the voice, though it did not fully register, she was too focused on Amy.

"Jennifer" Emily said again slightly firmer than before.

"Mom, your safe" Amy said softly before she looked at her Ma sadly.

"Jennifer look at me" Emily said as she neared the bed.

JJ thought it was a cruel trick that her mind was now playing on her. Emily could only look on as she moved closer hoping she would fall into JJ's eye line.

"Jennifer" Emily tried again.

"Don't hurt her" JJ pleaded, the only thing that registered in her mind was that Amy was in front of her, though she knew the voice, she could only think they were playing a cruel trick on her.

Emily moved further towards Amy giving her a soft smile. "Jennifer Prentiss, look at me" Emily said more firmly than she had ever spoken to her, haunted blue eyes moved from their fixated position finding familiar brown ones.

Emily reached out her hand slowly. "It's me Jennifer," Emily said softly as JJ looked at her in fear.

"Ma?" Amy said as she watched her Mom slightly.

"Amy, it's okay," Emily said to reassure her.

"Em?" JJ said her voice still full of fear. Amy moved slightly causing JJ to panic again. "No, don't"

Emily held her hands up, one to still her daughter and the other in a hope to pull JJ's attention. "Jen, it's me darling, no one is going to hurt you," Emily said calmly as she now stood to the side of Amy.

"Emily" JJ whispered as the dark cloud seemed to lift from her eyes.

"I'm here sweetheart" Emily smiled kindly at her.

"Where?" JJ asked as her mind still raced with fear, and that her mind was playing cruel tricks on her.

"You are in the hospital darling," Emily said as she held JJ's eyes in her own.

"Where are they?" JJ asked,

Emily gave a soft smile, "they can't hurt you anymore I promise" Emily said as she reached her hand closer to JJ. Amy moved out of the way slightly, sending a slight wave of panic to wash over JJ. "Jennifer, she is safe, and so is Henry," Emily said her voice soft but firm as she moved closer to her.

JJ reached out for her as Emily moved closer to the bed "You're really here" JJ said as a sob ripped out of her chest.

Emily nodded as she slowly sat on the bed "Yes sweetheart, I am really here."

The unique scent of Emily took over her senses as her weakened body tried to move closer wanting to have her wife's strong arms around her.

"Shh, baby" Emily said softly as she carefully wrapped her arms around JJ so she could lean into her. "I've got you darling," Emily whispered as she placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

* * *

Amy had made her way out of the room allowing JJ and Emily some time alone as she made her way to the waiting room; she opened the door slowly as Garcia greeted her. Garcia wrapped her arms around her, Amy broke down in her arms as the relief that her Mom was finally awake.

"Mom's awake" she murmured as Garcia held her tighter.

Finally the dark cloud was beginning to lift, though the team knew it was going to be a very long road, none of them knew just how much damage had befallen their friend.


	20. Chapter 20

**Location: Memorial Hospital, Virginia**

**Day & Time: Monday, 11.08**

The past few days had been the same with JJ waking in a fit of panic, telling Amy to run, Emily had stayed in the hospital in a hope that the terror that haunted her wife when she woke would help calm her.

The doctors thought it might be best if JJ saw their psychiatrists, but Emily had informed them that JJ was already under one and has been for the past two years.

JJ didn't want to let Amy out of her sight, she needed her to be near her, each time she would wake the nightmares haunted her, then when she saw either Amy or Emily and she was thrown back in to a panic filled with fear and pain.

Emily had arranged for Casey to bring Henry to the hospital, he had not seen JJ for two months, and Emily just hoped that it would heal them both.

JJ had spent the morning wrapped in Emily's arms, Emily's fingers ran through her hair, "Jennifer, do you remember what I told you about Henry?" Emily had explained everything, JJ could only nod in response.

"I thought since you are able to come home this afternoon, he would like to come and see you so we can go home as a family." Emily said softly as she placed her lips on her head.

JJ could not find the words she needed, the sheer thought of going home sent her whole body shivering as Emily pulled her closer.

"Are you sure it is safe Em? What if they come back?" JJ asked, Emily could hear the panic in her voice.

Emily closed her eyes before she looked down at her wife. "I promise you, that it is safe, and I can promise you that there is no possible way they will be coming near you again." Emily said firmly.

"How can you be sure?" JJ asked not fully believing her wife.

Emily moved off the bed so she was able to look into JJ's eyes as she spoke. "Simon has been transferred to a federal prison, and Robert died two days ago, from his injuries." Emily said with a pointed look.

JJ looked at her studying her face for any signs that Emily was hiding the truth from her, "You're sure?" she asked softly.

Emily gave a warm loving smile "I am more than sure."

JJ nodded slightly, "What if Henry hates me" JJ said as tears filled in her eyes.

Emily moved again so she was sat on the bed. "He doesn't hate you darling, he is scared and worried, and I know he will feel better once he has seen you, and I know you will as well," Emily said with a slight smirk.

"Where's Amy?" JJ asked.

Emily smiled "She is with Garcia"

JJ shook her head "Are you sure, are you sure she is safe?"

Emily swallowed slightly, she hated that her wife would panic so badly about Amy. JJ had asked near enough every hour about her, Emily just hoped once they were all home JJ would settle that Amy was okay and not hurt.

"Tell you what I will ring Garcia and ask them to come okay," JJ nodded as Emily pulled out her phone. Emily waited for the phone to ring she smiled softly at JJ, she wished the fear would subside a little but she also knew it may not for a while, JJ had been through so much and not one of them had the heart to ask her.

"Hey Garcia, is Amy with you?" Emily asked as she kept a careful eye on her wife.

"Yes, well she is but"

Emily frowned slightly, "Garcia?" Emily asked

"Well you see, she wanted to get something for JJ and well the shop she has gone in," Garcia sighed slightly, "They were giving me really strange looks and since, she should be out in a few," Garcia said.

Emily chuckled slightly "Get her to ring me back okay, or bring her here," Emily said as she shook her head slightly. JJ had started to panic slightly; Emily raised her eyebrow as she looked at her wife.

"Where is she Em? Where is Amy?" JJ said as her voice panicked slightly.

Emily knew lying to her was not a good idea, but she worried about her mental state if she said Amy was in a shop alone, "The toilet" Emily said simply. JJ's eyes were still slightly wide as she looked at Emily. "She will ring us back," Emily said with a slight smile.

It was going to be a very long road.

* * *

The soft knocking on the door pulled them both from their thoughts, "Come in" Emily called out softly, and JJ's eyes landed on Casey as she watched her come in.

Henry had hold of her hand but were walking slightly behind her. There seemed to be no life to the young boy as though he was a ghost, his small shoulders where slumped as he kept his eyes downcast. Emily's heart broke, it had broken each time she had looked at him, he was so lost and Emily could only hope that when he saw his Mom it would help.

"Henry," Emily said softly, dull blue eyes looked up for a second, his sad face meeting hers, JJ looked on in shock she had never seen her baby boy so sad and in her mind he looked broken.

"Henry" JJ said in a whisper as she looked at him, her heart broke much like Emily's had each time she laid eyes on him.

His sad eyes looked to where the voice came from, as Emily moved towards him, Henry hid into her as though he had become shy, as though he hadn't recognised the voice.

"Oh, Henry" JJ said as Emily scooped him into her arms as he clung to Emily neck.

Emily placed a loving kiss on his head as she moved back towards the bed, "Someone wants to see you buddy" Emily whispered into his ear pulling his attention slightly as she sat on the bed. He lifted his head slightly as his dull blue eyes looked at Emily.

"Hey buddy" JJ whispered, his head seemed to snap around at the voice, his faced covered in slight shock as his eyes fell onto his Mommy.

Emily couldn't help but chuckle as the small body nearly flung out of her arms, JJ couldn't help the tears from falling, though her body was still slightly sore, she didn't care as the small boy flung himself at her.

"Mommy" he said as she wrapped her arms tightly around him, Emily couldn't help but smile.

Henry had fallen asleep curled up into JJ, Emily looked at her wife as she ran her fingers through Henry's hair, "Are you ready to go home Jen, Morgan is picking us up in a few hours." Emily said softly.

JJ's eyes gave away the slight fear she felt inside, Emily's eyes softened slightly, "What is it Jennifer?" Emily asked as she watched the play of emotions swirl in her blue orbs.

"Can you take me instead please," JJ almost pleaded the sheer thought of being in a car with any male sent her into a wave of panic. Emily's heart broke slightly.

"Okay, but I will have to get someone to drop the car off, will you be okay while I go and make a phone call?" Emily asked. JJ nodded as she looked down at Henry her eyes lingered on him for a moment before her eyes fell onto the door. Emily gave a warm smile, "I'll just be outside okay," Emily said before making her way to the door.

* * *

Emily leaned against the glass as she pulled out her phone, "Hey Prentiss, everything okay?" Morgan asked as soon as he picked up.

"Yes and no," she sighed slightly, she knew she would hurt his feelings but right now, the welfare of her wife mattered more. "Is there any chance you can get Garcia to follow you in her car," she paused slightly, "Jen wants me to take her home," Emily said sadly.

"Emily, what's going on?" he asked the concern showing in his voice.

"Don't take it personally Morgan, but right now Jennifer isn't comfortable being in an enclosed space with"

Morgan cut her off slightly; she could hear the hurt in his voice as he spoke. "I will ring Garcia and if not I will ask Rossi to pick me up."

Emily closed her eyes slightly "Morgan, I am sorry" Emily said sincerely.

"I understand Emily, just look after her, will it be okay to call around tomorrow?" he asked.

Emily couldn't help but smile, "I think she would like that, Morgan please don't take this personally"

Morgan sighed slightly, "I fully understand Emily, I will see you in a few hours" Morgan said as he cut the phone off.

Emily made her way slowly back in the room giving a reassuring smile, "Is he mad?" JJ asked.

Emily shook her head, "No baby, he isn't mad and he understands completely, he will be here in a few hours with the car and either Rossi or Garcia are going to take him home" Emily said honestly.

"He will call around tomorrow once we are home and I promise you Jennifer I will be there okay" JJ nodded as tears slipped from her eyes.

"I'm sorry" she mumbled out as Emily moved wrapping her arm around her so JJ was able to lean fully into her.

"Shh, no need to be sorry darling" Emily whispered as her lips pressed softly on her head, "I love you Jennifer" JJ nodded against her as the tears fell.


	21. Chapter 21

**Location: Home**

**Day & Time: Monday, 19.32**

The drive home had been quite, JJ had looked out of the window her mind wandering slightly. Things hadn't improved much once they had gotten home, Henry had stayed close to them both, but he was still withdrawn.

Amy was sat curled up into JJ's side as they watched TV. Emily had tried small talk with JJ, but her wife had closed herself off as though she was not fully there with them.

"I will just go and put little man to bed" Emily said softly as she scooped him up into her arms, not one of them seemed to acknowledge her as she made her way out of the room.

* * *

"Mama?" Henry said quietly.

"Yes," Emily said as she took him upstairs.

"Mommy staying?" Emily could not help the tears that pricked her eyes.

"Yes darling, she is staying"

Henry nodded slightly, "You staying?" Henry asked as he looked at Emily, she gave a weak smile not answering him as she placed a kiss on his cheek.

"I love you so much Henry" Emily whispered as he nodded against her.

Emily made her way back down stairs, she looked sadly at JJ as she made her way into the kitchen turning the coffee machine on. Emily would admit she would have loved a glass of wine, just something to take her mind away for just a little while.

* * *

JJ made her way into the kitchen without Emily noticing, "Emily?" JJ said softly, she was so unsure of herself, she felt dirty and part of her worried about what Emily thought of her. Emily turned around looking JJ straight in the eyes as she spoke.

"Hey darling, would you like a drink?" Emily asked, JJ nodded as she studied Emily for a moment, deep chocolate eyes swirled with love and understanding as she made her way over.

She wanted to scream the hurt and pain she felt inside was like a volcano waiting to erupt, emotions she had held in for so long, she had missed so much, and yet here she was the safety of her home with a woman she knew would go to hell and back for her.

"How much trouble are you in?" JJ asked sadly, she felt guilty, JJ knew on some level Emily had abandoned her undercover job, part of her was grateful and the other part of her worried about what laid in store for her wife.

Emily shrugged in truth she just wasn't sure, she knew she had to do a write up and report what she had found out but in truth all she cared about right now was JJ. She came first like she always had done, but she knew her family needed her and she knew no matter what happened to her they would be fine.

"I don't know Jennifer, Hotch is calling around at some point tomorrow to talk to me, so we will just take it from there" Emily smiled softly at her before turning to pour the coffee.

JJ took the coffee mug, "I am so sorry" JJ said as she looked sadly at Emily.

Emily gave a loving smile though her face was serious as she made her way around the small island in the kitchen, so she was facing JJ, she placed her hand lovingly on her cheek. JJ could not help the action as she flinched slightly.

"I want you to listen to me Jennifer; none of this was your fault, none of it. I will deal with anything they throw at me as long as you are safe that is all that matters to me. I am just so sorry I didn't know or find you sooner darling," Emily said honestly. "And I would and will do it again," Emily said, causing JJ to smile for the first time since she had been found. "I love you so much Jennifer."

JJ nodded slightly, as Emily moved giving JJ her space, she had yet to tell Emily she loved her, but right now she just didn't know what she felt, dirty and lost came to mind but she knew she needed Emily more now than she ever had done and with Emily's soft smile she knew that Emily understood, though she could tell it hurt her slightly.

Amy bid them goodnight though JJ had insisted on following her upstairs and checking her window making sure no one would be able to come in, "Amy please keep it shut," JJ pleaded she knew that sometimes Amy would open the window if she got too hot or wanted to look out at the sky.

"I promise Mom" Amy said softly as she got into her bed.

JJ pulled the covers over her as she had done so many times when she was younger and Amy right now did not protest. Her Mom was scared right now, and deep down Amy wondered whom she was more scared for or of.

JJ placed a kiss on her forehead "Night princess" JJ whispered softly.

"Night Mom" Amy said as she watched her leave her room.

Emily had made her way upstairs as she met JJ on the landing. "Is the alarm on?" JJ asked, Emily could see the panic and worry which laced her eyes.

"Yes darling it is" Emily smiled softly "I have brought our phones up as well" JJ frowned slightly. Emily ignored it slightly as she made her way into their bedroom knowing that JJ would not be far behind her.

"Emily, can you hold me?" JJ asked as she looked down at the floor.

"You never need to ask that Jen" Emily said as she started to undress pulling out her sleepwear.

JJ swallowed slightly as she watched her wife, for some reason she did not feel comfortable, she was so unsure, as she grabbed her sleepwear before walking into the bathroom closing the door behind her. Emily's heart broke slightly it was in this moment Emily realised just how scared and uncomfortable her wife was, she just hoped it would improve in time and Emily was in no rush.

* * *

**Time: 02.13**

Emily had finally managed to drift off into a light sleep, she had spent the few hours they had gone to bed just watching JJ, praying that no nightmares came, the soft whimpers could be heard as her body shook slightly, and her eyes slowly opened as the big red light told her the time.

The soft whimpers could be heard again. JJ's body trembled beside her, "Jennifer," Emily said softly as she leaned up on her elbow so she was able to look at her.

JJ's face showed she was in the mists of a nightmare as her face screwed up in pain, "Jen, darling wake up" Emily said a little louder hoping to wake her, she flinched away from the voice.

Emily looked on sadly as she went to rest her hand on JJ's shoulder in a hope to wake her, the last thing Emily wanted to do was scare her. "Your safe darling," Emily whispered, "Your safe darling, I need you to wake up baby" Emily said again.

The sweat rolled off JJ's face as she flinched again her body shaking more at her touch, she waited for the pain to start, and she could hear their voices as though they were right in front of her, but their faces were burly as she struggled to focus on them.

"Where are you?" JJ let out in a whimper the tears now flowing down her face.

She could feel the soft touch on her skin but her eyes still tried to focus on the people, which were in front of her they seemed to move further away though the soft firm hand on her skin never altered.

"I've got you darling, come back to me" the voice pulled her mind slightly as she began to stir slightly, JJ flinched again as she began to wake.

Loving brown eyes watched her as hazy blue orbs looked at her, "I've got you darling it is just a nightmare they can't hurt you anymore," Emily said softly as she held JJ's eyes in her own.

"Emily?" JJ questioned her mind could not remember if Emily was truly here or was her mind now playing a cruel trick on her. The smell, which she knew, hit her senses,

"It's me baby," Emily whispered as she could see the look of confusion and fear swirling inside.

Emily lifted her hand resting it softly on JJ's cheek, she gave a soft smile as JJ flinched slightly "It's just me darling" she whispered again, JJ nodded as she leaned into the soft touch of her wife.

Her skin was sticky with sweat as she shivered, feeling the cool chill against her. "Let me go and put the shower on for you" Emily said firmly as she looked at JJ. JJ nodded as the soft and secure touch of Emily left her body.

The fear of being alone over took her as she followed Emily on shaky legs, "Don't leave me" JJ said her dull eyes filled with tears as Emily turned to look at her.

"I am not going anywhere Jennifer I promise." JJ nodded as the water reached up to the correct temperature so it would warm JJ's cold body.

Emily smiled as she backed away from the shower cubical "Do you want me to go while you have a shower?" Emily asked.

JJ shook her head as she began to remove her clothes, Emily for her part gave the blonde as much space as she could as her eyes drifted over her golden skin. JJ let the water wash over her though her eyes never left Emily's form, part of her was making sure Emily was still there and the other was part of her was making sure she didn't come near her.

She needed Emily so badly, but her mind was still telling her it was a cruel trick that this was a dream, that this was all a dream and she would wake up back in the hell she had known for seven weeks.

However, she would take the comfort that was being offered. JJ could only pray it was not a dream; the haze of the nightmare was still playing in her mind as she turned the taps off before stepping out of the shower.

Emily pulled the warmed towel off the heater handing it to her as JJ wrapped it around herself, she could smell the scent of her wife and the warmth, as she looked at her numbly.

"Is this a dream?" JJ asked her voice held unshed tears and fear.

Emily smiled softly at her, she knew JJ was still trapped in her mind, but she was safe and all Emily could do right now was reassure her that she was safe.

"No darling, it is not a dream, you are home I promise." JJ nodded as she walked over to Emily allowing her strong safe arms to wrap around her.

"Let's get you back in bed darling," Emily said as she pulled a very withdrawn JJ close to her body hoping the heat of her body would give some comfort.


	22. Chapter 22

**Location: Home**

**Day & Time: Tuesday, 05.32**

Morning arrived too quickly as Emily stirred slightly, she was unsure what had woken her, she reached over to check that JJ was still there, she let a soft sigh leave her lips as she felt the warm body of her wife sleeping soundly. She frowned slightly as she felt the bed dip again.

"Mama?" Emily could not help the smile that graced her lips as she opened her eyes.

"Good morning buddy" Emily said softly as the small body threw himself into her arms, Emily pulled him closer to her body as her fingers ran up and down his back, "What you doing up so early?" Emily whispered hoping they would not disturb JJ too much. She wanted the blonde to get as much sleep as she could while the nightmares stayed at bay.

"Missed you Mama" Henry said his dull blue orbs looked sadly at her, Emily smiled softly he had seemed to become less withdrawn once JJ had finally come home, but she could tell that like JJ he also feared it was a dream as his little arms clung to her neck.

"I missed you so much buddy," Emily said softly as she placed a reassuring kiss on his cheek.

She turned her head slightly as she looked at the clock which stated the time, she could have groaned slightly, but as the door creaked again she couldn't help but smile as the bed dipped slightly again producing another body onto the bed.

"Ma" Amy said softly.

"Hey princess" Emily whispered as Amy curled into her side, Emily ran her fingers through her light brown locks "Couldn't sleep?" she questioned as Amy shook her head.

Emily frowned slightly as she squinted her eyes reaching over turning her bedside lamp on so she was able to see both of her children's faces; her heart broke slightly as she looked at red-rimmed brown eyes.

"Bad dream?" Emily asked as Amy nodded as she gripped more tightly.

Emily pulled her closer praying that they could all get some more sleep "I've got you sweetheart, try and get some more sleep" Emily said, she had known Henry had drifted back off to sleep as his breathing had become shallow as he laid on top of her his face buried into her neck.

It had been too long since she had felt like this, too long that she had not been woken by her children climbing onto their bed in the early hours, but right now she was surrounded with the three people that meant more to her than anything in her world, three people whom she would give her life for to save them for pain.

Once Henry had been born Emily and JJ had invested in a bed that would give them all enough room, Amy had fallen back asleep, and the weight of Henry on her torso comforted her. Her family was broken. Emily knew deep down that it was going to take a long time for either of her children and her wife to feel safe again, the only thing Emily was able to do right now was to be there for each of them, to pull her walls slightly up so she could be strong for her family once again. Emily worried if they saw her break they would all shatter.

* * *

**Time: 07.06**

Emily had been lost in thought, as she had reflected on everything, which had transpired since she had been gone, her wife had been hurt and her children had been ripped apart. Henry was too young to understand what had happened all his small mind knew was his parents had left him.

She was grateful that Amy was older even though she did not fully understand everything, she knew that her Mom had been hurt badly, she had been so strong for so long and Emily hated that, that weight and the responsibility had been placed on her young shoulders.

She felt JJ stir at the side of her, as she moved Henry so she was able to look at her wife; she prayed that she would not panic seeing Henry or her beside her. That JJ would wake knowing that she was safe and her children were safe.

JJ was pulling herself out of the beginnings of a nightmare; the dim light made her eyes hurt as she turned her head in a defence against the impending light that burned her eyes. She could feel the warmth beside her the movement, which seemed to be the soiled form next to her. Her eyes snapped open against the harsh light, panic laced behind her blue orbs as she flinched away slightly.

Emily gave a soft smile as she spoke softly "It's okay Jen" her hand reached out slowly towards the blonde as the weight shifted on top of her body.

"Emily" blue eyes locked with brown eyes, still slightly unsure if she was dreaming again, her eyes drifted to the small form, which lay upon Emily's chest. JJ's eyes widened again as her eyes landed on Henry.

Emily smiled softly hoping to reassure the blonde that seemed to begin to panic at the side of her.

"Jen look at me" Emily said trying to stop JJ fixating on the small blonde hair boy, which was curled in tightly against her body. "He's okay, he's safe" Emily said her voice firm and slightly louder than she meant.

"Amy?" JJ whispered.

Emily smiled warmly "Behind me" Emily said giving a slightly pointed look as the small brunette moved closer into her Ma.

JJ closed her eyes slightly still praying she wasn't dreaming, Emily shifted Henry again in her arms as Amy moved.

"Jennifer, open your eyes baby" Emily said softly, blue eyes again focused on to brown ones.

Emily moved again, causing Amy to grunt at the side of her, which then sent JJ into a slight panic. The fear flashed in her eyes as Emily cursed herself, she reached out her hand slightly towards JJ.

"It's just Amy," Emily said firmly hoping the strength in her voice gave JJ some comfort. JJ flinched again further away from Emily.

"Ma?" the sleepy voice of her daughter mumbled causing JJ's eyes to grow wider.

"Jennifer, you're okay darling," Emily said softly as Amy moved from behind her.

JJ's eyes focused on the groggy form of her daughter, the red eyes which seemed to lack sleep, and the darkened circles which surrounded her child's eyes seemed to make them look drawn, light hazel brown eyes looked into familiar blue ones, a bright smile lit across her face as she climbed over Emily, careful to not wake her brother.

"Mom," Amy said softly, the relief seemed to disappear from her as Emily wrapped her arm around Amy stopping her from moving.

Though she knew, JJ would never hurt their children, she also knew if JJ panicked, it would scare both of the children. Amy frowned at her Ma, feeling her arm wrapping around her torso. JJ watched Amy for a moment before her eyes landed back onto Emily. JJ swallowed slightly as the panic seemed to leave her body as she moved closer to them both, her hand reached out slightly unsure as she cupped her daughter's cheek. Amy smiled warmly as Emily released her arm so Amy could move, JJ flung her arms tightly around Amy as she pulled her close.

"Mom you’re squashing me" Amy mumbled as her face rested against JJ's chest.

* * *

**Time: 09.26**

Emily left Amy to tidy the breakfast pots away and Henry watching cartoons in the den, she slowly made her way upstairs. "Jen?" Emily called out softly as she entered their bedroom. JJ had gone upstairs crawling back into bed, Emily walked over kneeling down at her side of the bed running her fingers gently through her blonde locks.

JJ looked at her blankly as though she was somewhere else, a stray tear rolled down her cheek, Emily wiped it away gently with her thumb as she waited for some acknowledgement that she was there. Emily knew that Morgan and Garcia would be arriving soon, though Emily had wanted to tell them not to call around she knew that they needed to come and make sure JJ was okay.

"Jennifer, I am going to go and have a shower okay darling," Emily said softly as her lips gently touched JJ's forehead.

"Emily?" JJ said softly causing Emily to turn around.

"Yes?" Emily smiled softly at her.

"Do they have to come?" Emily studied her wife for a moment.

"Hotch needs to come around since he has a few things he needs to talk to me about, and I will try and to get hold of Morgan and Garcia, but I have a feeling they will be here soon" Emily said her voice lacking much life.

JJ nodded "Okay" pulling the covers tighter around her body as her eyes tracked Emily.

Emily pulled her clothes out placing them on the chair before she began to remove her robe and sleepwear, she could feel JJ's eyes on her as she turned around, she heard a slight gasp as she spun around so she was facing JJ.

"What's wrong?" Emily asked her voice full of concern as JJ looked at her in shock.

"What happened to your back?" JJ asked her eyes wide with fear and worry.

Emily cringed inside she had completely forgotten about the cut which ran across back, "I got into a fight" Emily said easily, she wasn't lying, though she thought it had healed since it happened a day prior to her coming back from Texas.

"Who did it?" JJ asked, Emily could tell by the look on her wife's face that she was thinking the worse, she gave a half smile as she spoke.

"Someone pissed Lauren off" Emily said as she raised her eyebrow, JJ frowned for a second before she nodded slightly.

With that, Emily made her way into the bathroom allowing the water to run over her body cleansing her skin and her mind. She knew it was going to be a long day for both JJ and herself, and she just hoped the children and Garcia could keep JJ calm while, Hotch, Morgan and herself talked in private, he still needed her statement and he hopefully had found out some information about what was going to happen to her.

The door clicked shut causing Emily to jump slightly as she turned around seeing JJ looking at her through the glass "Is everything okay Jen?" Emily asked as she watched her.

JJ nodded as she sat herself down on the toilet. "Em, how much trouble are you in?" JJ asked.

Emily could not help but sigh, "I don't know Jen that is why Hotch and Morgan are calling around, he needs to talk to me about a few things." Emily said.

* * *

By the time Emily and JJ had got ready Hotch was already stood in the kitchen with Morgan fixing themselves a coffee.

"Make yourselves at home" Emily teased as Morgan grinned slightly.

"I would but I can't find any beer" he joked causing Emily to roll her eyes slightly.

"Garcia is in the den," Hotch said with a pointed looked at JJ whom was hiding slightly behind Emily.

Emily watched as JJ made her way towards the den before she turned her attention back to Hotch, "How much trouble am I in?" Emily asked as they sat around the island in the kitchen.

Hotch sighed slightly, "Firstly they want a written report of everything that happened and what you had managed to find out," he sighed slightly. "Given the reasons why you went MIA, you have been suspended for 6 months." Hotch gave a sad smile.

Emily could not help the smile that ghosted her lips, "I will write the report later today and email it to you, if that's okay?" Emily asked as Hotch nodded.

"I also need to know what exactly happened in that room Emily," Hotch said, she looked at her partner whom gave her a reassuring smile.

"Did he die because of the injuries I gave him?" Emily said with a pointed look, a sly grin across her lips.

"He died through the injuries he received to his head," Hotch gave a pointed look.

"How much trouble am I looking at?" Emily asked slightly avoiding the question. Morgan smirked slightly giving her a slight nod, "It was self-defence" Emily said her face void of any emotion.

Hotch could not help but shake his head slightly, "That is all I needed to hear," he said giving both his agents a pointed look. "And off the record Emily, I would have done the same" Emily's eyes widened as Hotch spoke.

"I know you don't want to do this now Emily but they do need a statement off JJ, I have asked if JJ wants a member of our team to do it, that is fine but it can't be you" Hotch gave a pointed look, he watched as Emily's eyes fell onto Morgan.

"I don't think she is ready Hotch" he nodded slightly.

"I know but the sooner they get the statement, the sooner JJ will begin healing." Hotch said kindly.

"I will talk to her," Emily said firmly as she stood up from her seat before making her way out of the kitchen.

Hotch looked at Morgan giving him a rare smile, "You will keep an eye on Emily" he gave a pointed look, they all knew how close Emily and Morgan were and right now Hotch doubted she would talk to any of them.

"Of course I will" Morgan said firmly. "Hotch, do you think" he could not bear to ask the question which played on everyone's minds.

"I don't know, it is going to take some time," Hotch said knowing what he was trying to ask.

* * *

Emily had made her way to the den as she lent on the doorframe watching her family for a moment, Amy was wrapped up in JJ's arms while Henry was sat on the floor slightly away from them watching his cartoons, Garcia was sat in the single chair though Emily could tell she was watching JJ.

Emily cleared her throat slightly so not to make any of them jump, she looked lovingly at JJ as she spoke. "Jen, can I have a word please" Emily asked kindly as she watched Amy unwrap herself out of her Ma's arms.

"Is everything okay?" JJ asked her voice slightly panicked, Emily gave a soft smile as she motioned her to join her in the lounge,

"Everything is fine, I promise" JJ studied her face for a moment.

"What is it?" JJ asked knowing the look Emily had on her face. It was one of pain and sadness. Emily took hold of her hand gently wrapping it in hers as she spoke.

"Jen, they need a statement" Emily swallowed slightly she hated this she hated that she would have to put her wife through it all again.

JJ shook her head, the fear of anyone knowing what happened to her entered her mind, "I can't" she mumbled as tears filled her eyes, Emily pulled her close wrapping strong arms around her. JJ buried her face into the nook of Emily's neck as her body trembled slightly.

"Darling I promise you that no one will ever think anything differently about you. And no one other than the people whom need to know will ever see it." Emily said firmly, "Hotch says one of the team can take the statement aside from me, if it makes it easier for you" Emily said as she rocked JJ slightly.

"Please Emily don't make me" Emily closed her eyes as JJ pleaded with her.

JJ knew she would have to give a statement but right now, she just could not handle it, her mind was at war with its self, fear and panic ran deep in her. The sheer thought of anyone knowing what they had done to her made her feel sick it was too soon, it was too fresh in her mind, the tears slipped from her eyes dripping onto Emily's chest as she clung to her wife.

The gentle knock on the door made Emily turn her head, she glared slightly until her eyes fell onto Morgan, she gave him a sad smile as he walked into the room,

"Em, Hotch is going he asked me to tell you to ring him" Emily nodded as she heard JJ mumble again. She placed her lips onto JJ's forehead before her eyes fell back onto her partner.

"Can you give us a few Morgan" he nodded, closing the door softly behind him.

"Jen, I know you don't want to do this, and I know it is going to be so hard for you and if I could trade places with you I would darling, I do know one thing baby, once you have put a voice to everything that has happened to you, it will help you start to heal" Emily said softly as she pulled the shivering blonde closer.

JJ pulled back slightly, her dull blue eyes locking with loving brown eyes, "Who found me Emily?" JJ asked, she knew Emily had but she also knew Emily would not have been alone when she found her.

"Morgan was with me when we found you Jen," Emily said as she held her eyes in her own.

JJ had calmed down slightly as Emily moved to give her a moment to gather herself, she walked into the kitchen finding Morgan at the coffee machine, and she couldn't help but chuckle.

"Anyone would think you have fallen in love with that" Emily said as she gave a pointed look at the machine.

"It makes better coffee than mine" Morgan grinned as he poured four cups out.

"It should do for what it cost" Emily said in a slight grumble. Though she loved coffee as much as the next person did, she had brought it for JJ, knowing how much JJ loved her coffee.

Morgan and Garcia spent most of the afternoon with them both before biding them all a goodnight, JJ had withdrawn slightly as the day had gone on, Emily took Henry up to bed settling him down before reading him a bedtime story, she couldn't help sitting there just watching him, he looked so peaceful and calm, his little arms clung to the teddy JJ had brought him for his first birthday. Emily couldn't help but smile as she thought back, from the second he opened it, the teddy hadn't left his side. Sometimes they had woken finding Henry and the teddy in bed with them as Emily would roll over and groan as her back came into contact with the solid lump.

* * *

Amy had gone to bed not long after Emily had taken Henry upstairs, JJ had followed her up tucking her safely into bed, she had made her way out of Amy's room along the landing before leaning against the doorframe, she watched Emily for a few moments, she could tell Emily was lost deep in thought.

"Em" JJ said softly making her jump slightly, before her eyes fell onto JJ.

"Yes?" Emily said as she began to move placing a soft kiss to henrys forehead before stepping out of his room, closing the door slightly. JJ wrapped her arms tightly around Emily as Emily pulled her closer.

"I've got you baby" Emily whispered as she held onto her tightly. Emily noticed the lights still on downstairs as she ran her fingers up and down JJ's back, "Do you want a coffee, or a nice glass of red?" Emily asked gaining JJ's attention.

"Coffee" JJ said as she pulled back slightly.

"Have you thought anymore about what we spoke about earlier Jen?" Emily asked as she switched on the coffee machine.

"I don't want them to" JJ couldn't finish what she had started to say as Emily took a few quick steps her fingers gently cupping her chin, so JJ was looking straight at her.

"Jennifer, listen to me okay darling," Emily said still holding JJ's eyes in her own "Not one person on the team is going to judge you or think anything differently about you. They love you and respect you Jen," Emily said firmly, even though Emily still held slight anger towards them.

"Would you be with me?" JJ asked though part of her wanted Emily there and part of her did not want her wife to hear what had happened. Although she knew she had to do this, she knew she would have to give a statement but right now, she did not know whom she could trust enough to speak to.

"Only if you wanted me there Jennifer, but you may find it easier it I wasn't there," Emily said with a soft loving look. JJ nodded as she studied her wife.

"Have you lost your job?" JJ asked, she had totally forgotten the main reason why Hotch had called around to see Emily.

Emily chuckled "No, six months suspension" Emily said with a slight smirk, "I will be on half pay for six months" Emily said with a slight shrug.

"Six months for going MIA?" JJ questioned causing Emily to give a half smile.

"Well, yes and no" Emily said causing JJ to frown at her.

"What do you mean yes and no?" JJ asked.

"Yes for going MIA, and I would have lost my badge, but given the reason I went MIA I have to take a six month rip" JJ nodded as she walked up to her, for the first time since JJ had woken up her lips touched Emily's as she pulled away she could see the love and understanding swirling in deep chocolate eyes.

"Thank you" JJ said softly as she smile at Emily.

Emily could not help but frown, "For what?" Emily asked with a puzzled look on her face.

"For finding me, for loving me and for just being you" JJ said softly.

"I will always find you Jennifer and I will always love you," Emily said softly.


	23. Chapter 23

**Location: Prentiss Household**

**Day &Time: Tuesday, 08.45 (One week later)**

The past week had taken more of a toll on Emily, JJ would wake screaming and in a fit of panic and it would take Emily a while to be able to calm her down, JJ would flinch each time Emily tried to go near her and then the guilt would overcome her as she would look sadly at Emily. Her heart was broken she loved and trusted her wife but for some reason she was angry and she was unsure if she was angry with Emily or the team.

Morgan had been around most days he watched on sadly as his partner would close off more, it was as though a steel enforced wall had been erected in front of him, the dark circles which graced her once bright eyes worried him deeply but each time he had tried to talk to Emily he was shot down within in a instance.

The only real redeeming quality for Emily was that Henry seemed less withdrawn though he would throw a tantrum if Emily left the house, he was scared his Mama would not come home. In truth, everything was taking a toll on the dark headed profiler.

However, she prayed that the healing would start after today, hoping that they would be able to start putting it behind them even if it was only slightly, she hoped that JJ putting a voice to what happened would help her heal and take some of the control back, which she had lost.

* * *

Emily slowly made her way back up the stairs to where her wife was getting dressed, she knocked gently on the door before walking in.

"Jen darling, are you nearly" Emily pulled up short as her eyes fell upon JJ's naked form.

Her fingers ghosting over the burn marks and her still tender nipples a constance reminder of what had happened to her, tears rolled down her cheeks as Emily made her way over to her slowly.

Marks laced her body, which were slowly healing the bruises had faded more but it didn't help Emily's heart from breaking as dull blue orbs fell onto her, their eyes locked as Emily continued her path before wrapping her arms tightly around JJ's slender waist.

"Shh, darling it's okay" Emily whispered as JJ flinched at the touch, she gave a soft smile as she stilled JJ's hands, their eyes still locked through the mirror as their fingers entwined.

JJ leaned into the solid form which stood behind her taking the comfort which Emily offered, Emily's lips pressed softly against her cheek as JJ closed her eyes slightly allowing the love of her wife to wash over her. JJ let out a sigh as her eyes broke contact with Emily's, Emily's fingers ran softly over her naked torso drawing soft patterns against her skin. In her strong arms, JJ felt safe, loved and wanted, though it still did not take the feelings fully away as she leaned more into Emily's frame.

"I love you" JJ whispered.

Emily pulled her closer, it had been the first time since she had found JJ that she had uttered those words and Emily's heart tightened as the tears threatened to well in her eyes. Emily allowed a soft loving smile to ghost her lips.

"I love you too Jen" Emily said the emotion evident in her voice.

Emily was reluctant to break the embrace, but they had to get ready if they were going to make it in time, it had taken a week for JJ to finally agree to make a statement and she would only do it if it was Morgan. Nevertheless, Emily knew it was more to do with the fact that he was her partner and someone that Emily trusted with her life.

* * *

**Location: BAU**

**Time: 9.36**

The drive had been one made in silence, JJ lost in thought and Emily worried about how much this was going to take a toll on her wife, she had asked Emily to stay with her, but Emily knew in her heart if she was there JJ might hide away and not be willing to tell Morgan everything, she had promised to be right outside the room and the second she needed her she would come in like a shot, after about an hour JJ had finally agreed and if Emily was honest she didn't know if she could handle being in the same room as JJ while she made her statement. Emily worried her anger would get the better of her or that tears would fall from her cheeks but she needed to be strong for JJ and her children.

JJ leaned into Emily grateful of the comfort as they travelled up towards the BAU; she feared the stares that might come, wondered if the whispers would still be heard or if they would look at her as though she was a victim.

The low hum of people talking, the clicking of the keys on the computers could be heard, the ringing of phones seemed to keep the staff busy as Emily let the doors close behind her, she smiled softly as her eyes landed on Reid as they made their way into the small kitchen allowing JJ to take a moment and also to get them both a coffee.

Emily tensed slightly as she felt someone walk behind her, the firm hand gripped her shoulder, the smell of his aftershave gave it away who it was as she relaxed before turning around.

"Good to see you kiddo" Rossi said as he gave Emily a bright smile.

Emily could not help but roll her eyes slightly "You saw me the other day," Emily said with a slight pointed look causing JJ to chuckle slightly. Emily could not help raise her eyebrow before turning so her gaze fell onto JJ.

Over the past few days, JJ had settled down with the team, becoming more comfortable though she only felt safe if Emily was close by and if anyone of them came to close she became skittish, but none of the team batted an eyelid at it.

"Morgan is waiting down the hall for you both" Rossi said kindly as his arm wrapped around Emily, ever since she had returned from the dead Rossi had become more like a father figure to her though she was now more guarded than he had ever seen her.

* * *

JJ stayed close to Emily as they made their way down the familiar corridors to where the interview rooms were, Emily could not help the slight chuckle, which slipped out as they both look at which interview room they had been allocated.

"You're kidding me right?" JJ said as she looked at the interview room number 2.

"Jen," Emily said with her own chuckle escaping her lips.

"Does he know?" JJ asked as a blush crept onto her cheeks.

"No, I have never told anyone, well the only person who knows is Rossi and that is mainly because he caught us."

JJ was grateful for the light heartedness as Emily opened the door for JJ to walk through. The last time either of them had been in this room was after a long hard case and each of them needing comfort. Rossi had the same idea as he had walked in on them both just as the orgasm ripped through JJ's body.

The humour left them both just as fast as they were greeted by Morgan Emily gave JJ a reassuring smile as she grasped her hand.

"I will be right here okay Jen" Emily said softly.

JJ looked at her for a moment as a wave of fear washed over her, the panic of Emily hearing everything that had happened to her made her want to be sick, JJ was unsure if Emily would ever be able to look at her the same again. Emily watched the fear flash across her wife's face; she gently rested her hand on her cheek as she spoke.

"Would you rather I wasn't here Jen?" Emily said, the kindness and understanding showing in her voice as JJ swallowed. Her eyes welled with tears as she nodded her head.

Emily smiled placing a kiss upon her cheek, "I will go and see Garcia, if you need me get Morgan to ring okay" Emily said as she held JJ's eyes in her own, JJ nodded though the thought of being alone with Morgan and not having Emily close by scared her, but she couldn't deal with Emily knowing everything she just didn't want to see pity in her loving brown eyes.

Emily placed a soft kiss on her lips before her eyes fell on Morgan the unspoken request to look after her, he gave a reassuring smile and a swift nod before he closed the door behind them, Emily looked sadly into the room before turning on her heels and making her way down the corridor to find Garcia.

* * *

Garcia for her part couldn't help but spy on her friends knowing what was going to be happening in the room, she stared in shock a few moments later as she watched Emily walk back out of the interview room, she tracked her movements noticing that her brown headed beauty was making a beeline towards her office, she watched slightly frowning as Emily detoured from the corridor which led her towards her office, she would have cursed loudly as she watched her friend walk out the doors which led to the stairwell.

Emily made her way outside taking in a deep breath as she tried to gather herself; the view from the top of the building was beautiful the air was crisp with the cool wind blowing onto her face. She needed to take a moment to clear her mind, Emily could not help the guilt and anger which laced inside her mind and body. She blamed herself the job and the team, but the anger laced mainly at herself.

The crunching on the ground let her know that someone had followed her, she would have screamed, could none of them understand she just needed to breath to be alone to have a moment to herself and not have to be strong. Could they not allow her to crumble and fall with the pain that laced every fibre of her body? She heard the footfalls die down knowing whoever it was had stopped a few feet from her.

"Emily" the soft voice of Garcia hit her ears, she should have known the tech goddess had been watching, she let out a sigh her words coming out.

"Just leave me alone" Emily said as she gritted her teeth, she didn't mean it to come out so harsh or the warning which was held in her voice. She just needed a moment alone, to reflect to be able to hate herself for everything, to blame herself for leaving. Emily blamed herself for the pain JJ had suffered, she wished she could have taken her place, but it had been out of her control.

"Talk to me" Garcia tried her voice conveyed sadness and hurt as she spoke and Emily could help but wince internally.

"I'll be down soon, just give me a moment," Emily said as she tried to control her emotions. Emotions, which had been so tightly held in, that they were ready to explode from her body and mind. Garcia shook her head slightly knowing that Emily could not see her.

"When are you going to stop blaming yourself Emily?" Garcia asked softly.

Emily shook her head slightly, unable to answer the question, unable and unwilling to give a voice to her feelings.

"I am fine" Emily ground out in a warning, though she did not mean to be so offhanded.

Garcia moved slightly her footfall gently on the ground as she moved closer to her friend, they all knew Emily had a temper and she disliked anyone getting in her personal space though Morgan had a knack of doing this. Garcia was on foreign ground right now, even though they were close and friends she always knew Emily kept her slightly at arm's length though the past year she had opened up more to everyone but now Garcia looked on as she watched her friend close off from everyone.

Before Emily knew it Garcia was at her side placing her hand gently on her shoulder, Emily tensed slightly as she shrugged off the offending hand.

"Garcia please" Emily said, though the tone in her voice was more like a plea, so much emotion held in those two words that it shocked Garcia as she let go moving slightly so she was no longer in her personal space.

"I will be down soon" Emily said her voice slightly firmer than earlier.

* * *

Morgan had been listening to JJ for the past forty-five minutes, his heart was torn between breaking and wanting to smash everything within reach, the tears ran down JJ's face as though someone had turned a tap on, her arms wrapped tightly around her body as she rocked slightly in the chair. Her eyes fixated on the wall behind his head as she closed down on him slightly, he sent Garcia a text to bring Emily as he took in the blank vacant expression, which had befallen over JJ's face.

He moved slightly but only to stop dead as JJ flinched violently, he had taken her back and now she had become trapped in her mind, the small room which they were in felt like the room she had been held in for weeks, the grey room with the low lighting was as though her body had been tricked into thinking she was safe.

Emily had rushed down the corridor with Garcia in toe as she rounded towards the room; she took a moment as she took in her wife's frame, and the look on her partner's face her heart went out to him as it broke for JJ. Emily opened the door slowly as to not scare her wife anymore, she knew the look, which was held, in her blue orbs, and she motioned for Morgan to stay still, as she moved closer to JJ.

Sometimes it could take Emily hours to pull her out of her mind other times she managed quickly but the fear that laced blue eyes torn at the very fabric of Emily's heart, she knew Garcia was outside and she hated the fact that she was going to see JJ so vulnerable and scared, she had tried to get Garcia to stay and let her and Morgan deal with it but Garcia had quickly ignored her. Emily understood, this was her best friend or more her sister the closeness the two blonde women had always amused Emily.

* * *

"Jen" Emily said softly as she moved closer to JJ, "Jennifer" she whispered again and still getting no response.

Emily closed her eyes before she knelt down next to the chair that JJ was sitting on, JJ flinched as she felt someone next to her but Emily just stayed there, her voice soft and gentle each time she spoke, each time she would say her name JJ would flinch and even Emily could see the fear which laced her body.

"Jen, it's just me darling" Emily whispered as she placed her hand gently on the blondes shoulder causing JJ to flinch more, but Emily refused to let the contact break as she spoke again.

"Jennifer look at me sweetheart" Emily said her voice firmer than she felt inside.

She gave Morgan a soft smile as JJ's eyes landed on her form, this had been the running course of events each time JJ had become trapped in her mind, it was much worse at night when she had been dragged into a nightmare but right now it was fear and the pain of remembering.

JJ finally managed to calm down, arm strong arms wrapped against her body tight pulling her close, Emily gave Morgan a soft smile.

* * *

Once JJ had fully calmed down Emily made her way out of the room only to find a very concerned Garcia watching JJ.

"She's okay Garcia" Emily said softly as she saw tears falling down Garcia's face,

"How can you say that" Garcia let out as her voice broke.

Emily could not help the dry chuckle that left her mouth, which earned her a glare from Garcia.

"What's so funny?" Garcia said her voice slightly angry.

"You ask how I can say she is okay, I say it because I know Jennifer, she is strong and Pen, I won't allow her to fall" Emily said as she placed her hand kindly on the techs arm.

Garcia studied her for a moment knowing that Emily would now not leave the viewing area in case JJ needed her, but she could not help the words tumbling out of her mouth.

"Who's going to look after you?" Emily frowned slightly she could hear the concern in Garcia's voice and she also knew what she was meaning.

Emily gave a soft smile. "I will be fine" Emily said firmly unwilling to allow anyone to see just how much she was hurting, how much everything was tearing her apart.

The effect that it was taking on her as she tried so hard to keep her family together. Amy was becoming frustrated as the days past, though Emily knew half of the problems was to do with the fact that her daughter was suffering for nightmares and lack of sleep the other part of the problem was that fact that Amy couldn't go anywhere without JJ panicking, but there was nothing she was able to do about it other than allow her young teenage daughter to take it out on her.

* * *

Morgan had been talking with JJ for the past three hours stopping every half an hour so that Emily was able to calm JJ down his heart broke for her and for Emily, they had yet to inform either of them that pictures and recordings that had been kept logging every time they had done something different to her, or the video which had been taken when their friends had all taken turns raping her.

Only two members of the team had seen the video and the pictures and that was how Hotch was planning to keep it. No one needed to see JJ treated that way or watch the things that had been inflicted on their friend. Though he knew at some point, they would have to inform Emily about it and it would be up to Emily if she told JJ but for now, no one was to know aside from Hotch and Morgan.

* * *

"Do you think she will come back?" Garcia asked as they watched Emily take JJ towards the elevator.

"I do, it is just going to take a while" Morgan said softly as he wrapped his arm around her, "She is strong baby girl, and I know Emily will take good care of her" Morgan said softly as he placed a kiss on the top of her head.

"Who's going to take care of Emily" Garcia mumbled slightly, Morgan could not help but sigh.

"Emily, will be Emily we can only be there if she allows us to be, but right now" he just shook his head. "I will keep an eye on her but that is all any of us can do" Garcia nodded as she allowed him to guide her back into the bullpen.


	24. Chapter 24

**Location: Prentiss Household**

**Day & Time: April, Monday, 03.58**

It had been three weeks since JJ had given her statement; though she still flinched and shied away from everyone. Amy had gotten to the point that she wanted to get away, as much as she loved her Mom, she was tired of explaining her every move.

Frustrated with not being able to hang with her friends or go for sleep overs, Emily had finally snapped at her and telling her firmly that right now it wasn't about what she wanted and needed, it was about helping her Mom heal. It had not gone down too well, but as good as Amy was, she was still a teenager and it was showing in full force.

However, the sleepless nights the wandering into her Mom's bedroom curling up into the side of JJ told her it was out of worry, lack of sleep and frustration. JJ was skittish and Henry had picked up on that and was also acting out as well, Emily could not blame them really, no one knew how to handle this or how to make everything better.

Emily doubted things would become easier within the next few weeks even though there had been some improvement, JJ was opening up to her and she had been to her appointments which had over the past two weeks dropped from every other day to now just twice a week. Nevertheless, she had been told if she needed to ring in-between she could, everything was a balancing act.

JJ had grown frustrated as the team treated her as a china doll, as though she would break at any moment; she was hoping to return to work soon as sitting in the house all day was not helping things. She needed something to be able to take her mind of everything, something that would help put the demons that haunted her to one side.

In truth, she needed normalcy again, even though Emily had been suspended and had another four months before she was allowed to return. However, Emily was hoping to be allowed back sooner but she was grateful for the time she had been able to spend with her family.

* * *

Her head lulled against the toilet, the coldness of the porcelain bowl offering some relief as her skin felt on fire. Emily had been on the bathroom floor for over an hour and the sickness just would not leave her body. She had closed her eyes only to snap them open moments later as the door handle turned allowing more light into the dim bathroom.

"Emily?" JJ said softly, to which Emily could only groan in reply, she had been sick for the past two days, nothing seemed to ease the sickness, the smell of coffee had her running for the toilet expelling her breakfast for two days on the run and it did not seem to be settling down any.

JJ pulled a flannel from the cupboard rinsing it with cold water, before placing it on the back of Emily's neck. JJ had worried that all the stress Emily had been under had made her ill, she rested her hand onto her forehead to check her temperature as Emily leaned into her.

"Sorry sweetheart" Emily mumbled. JJ shook her head slightly it was the third time JJ had found Emily like this.

She knew bringing this up with the stubborn brunette was not a good idea but, she had to at least try, Emily had been so concerned with her and the children that now JJ began to worry that Emily was not taking care of herself. She knew Emily had closed off and was pulling away from their friends, it would have bothered her years ago but now she was grateful for her wife's strength, though right now she worried that Emily had retreated so much that she had in fact made herself ill.

The memories and pain would well inside her, but through the love of her wife and children she was healing, the fear just would not go, Emily had mentioned moving hoping that it would help JJ settle more and help her to feel safe again. However, Emily's energy levels would plummet as she was consumed with sickness, restless nights, and even if she managed to sleep, she was woken by JJ or one of the children having nightmares.

"Emily, I think I should ring and see if we can get you in at the doctors" JJ said carefully, already knowing the answer, Emily hated doctors and hospitals, the only time she would entertain them were if she had no choice or it was one of the children which needed to be seen.

Emily shook her head, "It will pass Jen, must have picked up a bug" Emily said softly as JJ sat behind her, Emily lean back into her taking some comfort for her.

JJ placed a kiss on her cheek, "Let me run you a bath Em," JJ said knowing she wasn't going to be able to get anywhere with her. Once Emily had made her mind up nothing short of a bomb going off that could change her mind. In all the years, they had been together and the years that they had known one another, JJ could not think of one time Emily had been sick.

Her skin was whiter than normal, the dark circles which laced her once shining eyes were more pronounced, as Emily removed her cloths, JJ couldn't help the slight intake of breath as her eyes raked over her body as she began to studied Emily, JJ couldn’t help but frown, Emily's ribs where more pronounced than normal, her once toned stomach was slightly distended, and the scar which laced her stomach seemed redder than normal.

Emily closed her eyes knowing her wife was scrutinising her body, she could not help the blush that covered her cheeks as she lifted her hand up to cover the brand on her chest. Even now, Emily was still ashamed of the mark, it brought back the fear she felt and the pain inside her when she felt from the red-hot poker type needle on her skin.

JJ thought it would be best to just leave it as she walked over to her wrapping her arms around Emily's naked form, removing her hand from her chest before placing her lips over the clover.

"Let me take care of you tonight Emily" JJ said her eyes slightly worried as she looked deep into Emily's eyes, she saw nothing but love coupled with worry and fear. "I love you Emily"

Emily gave a soft smile, though they had not really been intimate, feeling her wife's lips against her skin, her arms wrapped around her waist and those three words, settled something inside Emily, something that she worried she may not get back.

JJ warmed the water up before helping Emily in to the bath, she couldn't help but smile as Emily groaned slightly as the warmth of the water attacked her skin, helping to relax her tense muscles, her eyes fluttered closed for a moment as she tried to supress the feelings which had been lacing her body and mind for the past few weeks.

Her breathing lessoned as she calmed her mind down for a moment, JJ watched on her fingers shook as she touched her wife's body, Emily's eyes snapped open studying the blonde for a moment.

"I love you too Jennifer" Emily finally replied as she looked into her blue orbs which no longer seemed dull and vacant. JJ was coming back to her slowly. JJ was just as stubborn and as strong as Emily, though the only difference was that JJ was not as guarded as she was.

JJ's feeling shone through, it was either her eyes that gave away to what she was thinking or her facial expression, but right now what Emily saw swirling deep in smouldering blue orbs shocked her slightly.

"Jen" Emily whispered as JJ's fingers still ghosted against her skin.

Emily supressed the moan each time her wife touched her sensitive spot, which cause electricity to run through her body, and causing the heat to swirl in her stomach, she felt the familiar wetness and heat between her legs.

Their eyes locked as though they were speaking to one another with no words spoken just an expression. Emily waited for her to respond, but nothing came as JJ's fingers began trailing the whole of her body.

"Jen please" Emily said as she looked deeply into JJ's eyes.

Every nerve in Emily was beginning to come alive, her stomach swirled with want and desire, but her mind had other ideas, the dizziness over took her as she tried to focus on her wife's face.

"Jen please stop" Emily said in a slight whimper, JJ knew what she was doing, and each time Emily had spoken, she had ignored it. Emily never asked her to stop but the slight whimper that came from Emily's lips made her stop dead as she searched her wife's face for some indication.

Emily's head lulled back against the cold metal tub, she looked lovingly at JJ though her eyes held something JJ had never seen before, Emily's eyes fluttered closed as she tried to supress the dizziness, which had taken over.

"Emily" JJ said softly.

Emily gave her a weak smile "Sorry darling," Emily whispered "I…" Emily sighed, she was meant to be the strong one, she was meant to be taking care of JJ, not have her hovering over her and taking care of her, but right now, she felt horrible, her mind screamed for sleep, but help body screamed for her wife's touch something she had not felt in too long.

"Feel like shit" Emily finally said as her head rested against JJ's hand, fingers gently rubbed her cheek soothing her slightly.

If Emily didn't know better she would swear she was coming down with the flu, her body ached and her chest hurt, each time she moved it felt as though someone had hit her,

"Let's get you back to bed" JJ whispered as she watched Emily carefully, Emily could only nod.

JJ finally got Emily back into bed and into her pj's, JJ wrapped her arms around Emily pulling her close as she lulled her to sleep, she would have groaned when she looked at the time, but she knew one of their children would be coming into their room soon, she took that moment to watch and study her wife more.

* * *

Keeping herself awake waiting for the door handle to turn and for Amy to walk in, she always seemed to appear at the same time each morning and Henry was never far behind her. However, right now, she did not want the children in the room, she wanted Emily to rest and get some sleep that she desperately needed, though Emily would never admit it, and JJ knew this.

Emily was the type of person, which would run herself to the ground until JJ would step in and order her to rest, and Emily for her part never disagreed with her wife. And if Emily would admit it she had been whipped from the first time she laid eyes on JJ, in all her life JJ was the only person which could tame her, the one person she would listen too unless she was truly being stubborn and pig headed, which didn't happen as often as it used to, which JJ was grateful for.

* * *

**Time: 04.15**

As though on time the door handle turned as Amy popped her head through the door, "Ma?" Amy said softly.

"She's asleep princess" JJ said softly so they did not wake Emily. Amy nodded making her way over to her Mom.

"Come here baby," JJ said as she opened her arm so Amy could snuggle into her.

"Is Ma okay?" Amy whispered, normally it only took for Amy to say her name and Emily's eyes would snap open looking at her before greeting her and telling her to be quite.

JJ kissed the top of Amy's head "She's not well sweetheart" JJ said softly.

Emily's head was still nuzzled into JJ's neck her arm across the blonde's waist, JJ's arm was wrapped around Emily's shoulder her fingers running up and down her arm. It was the one action JJ had learnt early on, it seemed to relax the brunette and send her to sleep and right now JJ wanted her to stay that way.

Amy nodded as she whispered "Ma doesn't get ill."

JJ kissed her head "I know princess" JJ said pulling her daughter close.

Emily moved slightly causing JJ to tighten her hold, slightly pulling her body close to hers. JJ could feel the heat which was emanating from her body and she couldn't help but worry, she had only known Emily to be physically sick once and that was when her old team mate was killed and Morgan and Emily had gone to check the scene, it had been the same day that Emily had disappeared only to be found with the wooden plank protruding from her stomach.

An hour later, the door handle turned again "Mama?" Henry said his voice was slightly louder which caused Emily to groan slightly and move away from JJ's embrace.

JJ shook her head as she moved her arm, it was the lack of response that Emily gave which told JJ how exhausted her wife truly was, she shook Amy slightly waking her. "Sweetheart time to get up" JJ whispered causing Amy to groan.

JJ knew it was too early but she wanted Emily to rest and stay asleep and she knew once Henry had made his way onto the bed Emily would wake. Amy moved which enabled JJ to move as she sat up slightly placing her finger on her lip as she looked at Henry.

JJ rocked Amy again "Amy, I need you to get up darling" JJ said softly, she was pinned between two bodies and she knew if she moved more against Emily she would wake her.

Amy groaned and mumbled as she began to wake, "Mom?" Amy said in her sleepy haze.

"Amy I need you to move darling before your brother wakes your Ma" JJ said slightly firmer than she meant too.

Amy nodded as she moved herself out of her Mom's arm, she groaned as she looked at the clock the red light showing it was only 05.48, JJ moved slowly and carefully as she motioned both of them out of their bedroom and Amy back to her own bedroom. She knew Henry would not go back to sleep as she took his hand before making her way to the stairs.

* * *

"Let's get you some breakfast buddy" JJ said through a yawn, he nodded as he let go of his Moms hand and headed downstairs. Once they were both downstairs and in the kitchen she turned and smiled at her son.

"So what do you want for breakfast" JJ asked, it had been so long since she had been up with him so early and even longer since she had made his breakfast.

Ever since he was born, Emily had always been the first up making both children their food while JJ slept in or was getting ready. Though the six months Emily was in hiding had she made breakfast, which Emily took over once she had been able to come home.

"Pancakes" Henry said loudly.

JJ shook her head she was grateful that when the children where downstairs their voices could not but heard in their bedroom. Amy had changed her mind once she had crawled back into bed; she knew JJ would be making breakfast as she made her way downstairs, the smell of pancakes wafted through the house as she walked into the kitchen.

Amy spoke softly hoping not to make her Mom jump, "Mom, please can I have some?" Amy asked as she made her way into the kitchen walking over to the fridge to get the orange juice out.

JJ smiled softly "Do you want blueberries in yours?" JJ asked knowing her daughter did not like the plain pancakes like Henry did.

"Please, Mom, what's wrong with Ma?" Amy asked as she poured three glass of orange juice placing one near Henry.

"She's just not well," JJ said since all she knew that Emily kept being sick.

"Is she being sick again?" Amy asked, JJ could hear the worry in Amy's voice as she turned around placing the small plate in front of Henry.

"Yes, she has been up most of the night." JJ said as she went to pull the blueberries out of the fridge.

Before cooking Amy's pancakes she walked over to her cupping her cheek, "Don't worry sweetheart I will keep an eye on her, but you know your mother"

Amy nodded, "I know, just Ma never gets sick. I know she gets bad headaches but for her to be sick Mom, something isn't right" Amy said her eyes watered as though tears where about to fall.

Amy was so much like Emily it was uncanny, they both kept their emotions hidden behind walls and even JJ had trouble reading her daughter sometimes, Emily would look at her and know what was wrong in an instance but that was mainly because they were and are so alike.

JJ kissed Amy on her cheek, "I know but your mother is stubborn. I am going to ring Garcia soon and see if she will come over while I see if I am able to persuade your mother to see a doctor."

Amy chuckled "Good luck with that one Mom" Amy said, though her hazel eyes gave away the worry.

"Amy, I will look after her okay" JJ looked into her eyes as Amy nodded.

* * *

**Time: 07.02**

JJ knew it was early but she just hoped she didn't wake her, JJ knew the team was off as they always took a few days after a case to unwind and recover from the toll it took on them, she had settled the children in the den watching the lion king and it amazed JJ that Amy didn't complain again, considering how many times she had actually watched it.

JJ picked up the house phone taking it into the kitchen dialling the number, as she waited for the coffee machine. Within a couple of rings, the groggy voice of Garcia answered "Emily?"

JJ smiled slightly "It's me Pen, sorry to wake you" JJ said softly.

The sound of JJ's voice sent Garcia into a slight panic "JJ what's wrong?" Garcia said as she sat bolt upright in bed.

"Is there any chance you can come and watch the kids" JJ asked keeping her voice soft.

"JJ what's wrong?" Garcia asked again.

"Emily isn't well and I need to try and get her to see a doctor" JJ said her voice held a slight firmness to it.

"Emily, isn't well?" Garcia said slightly puzzled, everyone knew Emily did not get sick, even if she had a cold it never slowed her down.

"No, she hasn't been for the past few days" JJ said her voice slightly sad.

"I will be round shortly," Garcia said as she started to get dressed.

"Thanks Garcia" JJ said before cutting the phone off.

* * *

Wrapping her fingers around the warm coffee cup, she breathed in the soothing scent before taking a sip, the noise coming from upstairs made JJ jump before placing her cup down and rushing up the stairs.

She popped her head through the door and her heart broke slightly as she looked at her wife, Emily had only made it a few feet before she had stumbled, empting the contents of her stomach on the bedroom floor.

"Oh baby" JJ whispered as she made her way over to Emily.

Emily gave her a half-hearted smile as she heaved again. "I didn't think I had anything left inside me" Emily said her voice raspy through the amount of times she had been sick, her throat burned as the bile attacked her as she heaved again.

JJ wrapped her arm around Emily's waist helping her stand, before she guided her to the bathroom, "Sorry Jen" Emily muttered as JJ helped her sit on the small stool, she looked at her face noticing how gaunt she looked, her porcelain skin was now a pasty shade of white and her skin was also clammy to touch.

"Em, I am going to get you in to the doctors and I am not going to debate it okay" JJ said firmly, just as Emily moved towards the toilet.

JJ kneeled behind her pulling her hair out of her face and rubbing her back soothingly, "I'll be okay Jen," Emily mumbled causing JJ to shake her head.

"Emily you have been sick for three days now and please do not try telling me it is a bug" JJ said as Emily leaned into her body.

"I just need to sleep Jen" Emily said sadly.

* * *

Amy had let Garcia in, telling her that JJ was upstairs with her Ma; Garcia nodded as she heard the distinct sound of someone heaving. Garcia made her way into the kitchen as she looked through the cupboards for anything to help settle Emily's stomach. Garcia smiled as she found the peppermint cordial in the cupboard she made a small amount which would not be too strong and hopefully work to help Emily.

She slowly made her way upstairs, she winced slightly as she took in the bedroom and the mess which was on the floor, the light came through their bathroom as she heard Emily heave again, her heart hurt for her brunette friend as she knocked gently before opening the door, half of her hoping Emily was semi decent.

JJ turned slightly "Just give us a minute" JJ said thinking that it was Amy on the other side of the door.

"Jay, it's me" Garcia said her voice still bubbly as always.

"I will be out shortly Pen" JJ said kindly not wanting anyone to really see Emily like this.

"I brought up a drink it may help JJ" Garcia said softly as she held the glass through the door, she heard Emily groan slightly as JJ moved from behind her.

"Thanks for coming Garcia" JJ said with a half-smile.

Garcia looked at her slightly worried as she handed JJ the glass, "Hopefully that will help settle her stomach," Garcia said brightly.

JJ sighed, "I hope so," JJ said just as Emily heaved again.

By the time JJ and Emily came out of the bathroom Emily was looking slightly better but it still didn't stop the gasp that came from Garcia's lips, "God Emily you look like death"

JJ glared at her but couldn't help but smile, Garcia was knelt down on the floor cleaning up the mess which had been made.

"You didn't have to do that Pen," JJ said softly as Emily went to crawl back into bed.

Garcia threw her hand slightly in the air dismissing the comments, she studied Emily for a moment, and the normal glowing face of one Emily Prentiss was now white as the covers, which she had climbed under.

"JJ do you want me to see if I can arrange a house call" Garcia said as she gave a pointed look to the now brunette who had her eyes closed.

JJ gave a half smile, "I'll finish that off and I will be down soon, can you make me a coffee" JJ asked kindly to which she got a swift nod.

JJ ran her fingers lovingly over her cheek "I am going to see if the doctor can come out darling," Emily nodded against the hand, which shocked JJ. Placing a soft kiss on her forehead, which seemed too hot for her liking she quietly made her way out of the room and downstairs to the kitchen.

* * *

It was now 08.06 and JJ had now been up for six hours she took the coffee, which Garcia offered before picking up the phone. It had concerned her that Emily had not put up any type of fight when she mentioned calling out the doctor and seeing if they would come out and see her.

"How you doing JJ?" Garcia asked taking a seat at the table once JJ had finished the phone call.

JJ shrugged slightly before answering "Better" was all she could muster.

Garcia looked at her for a moment "you know I am here if you need to talk JJ" Garcia said with a slight smile.

"Just worried about Emily right now, she doesn't get sick and she sure as hell doesn't agree to a doctor coming and seeing her."

Garcia looked at her in slight shock "She agreed? Miss I can take on the world agreed for a doctor to come and see her and you're still alive?" Garcia said causing JJ to laugh slightly.

"Yes, hence I am now more than concerned." JJ said with a pointed look.

* * *

The silence fell over them both as JJ became lost in her mind slightly, she was still slightly uncomfortable being around people while she was fully on her own, "JayJ" Garcia said softly, JJ looked at her for a moment before giving a sad smile.

"She has been taking care of everything Garcia, I should have seen this coming," JJ said sadly.

Garcia moved slowly knowing JJ could still be slightly skittish around her, "You know Emily, she thinks she doesn't need help and with everything that has happened over the past three months" Garcia paused, the emotional side of Garcia shone through as tears started to form in her eyes.

Garcia was right Emily hid everything, her emotions, her pain and worry, Garcia was not just commenting over Emily being sent undercover or what had happened to JJ herself she was meaning the week prior before everything had started and torn the two profiler's hearts out.

"I know, but I should have noticed" JJ said firmly.

"JJ she had closed herself off so much when she came home, no one saw this coming even Morgan never noticed anything and you know he watches her like a hawk" JJ nodded.

"This is different Garcia, she hasn't stopped being sick, she hasn't managed to do anything for the past two days other than sleep, and when I say she can't keep anything down, well there is nothing but bile coming up."

Garcia placed her hand carefully on JJ's back, causing her to flinch slightly. "You know Emily she will be fine and since she doesn't normally get sick it has probably taken more out of her than it would if it was me or you"

* * *

JJ nodded as they fell into comfortable silence again, the ringing of the bell pulled both of their attentions before JJ moved making her way to the door, checking through the spyhole before opening the door, she welcomed the doctor whom casted her a small smile.

It was their normal doctor thankfully JJ shook her hand "I got the message Emily isn't well?" Dr. Roberts said, her eyes gave the sign that even she did not believe it.

"That would be correct, she hasn't been well for the past few days, I would have tried to bring her in, but" JJ's voice trailed off slightly as they made their way upstairs.

JJ knocked on the door before walking in, Emily mumbled slightly as they both entered. "Em, the doctors here" JJ said softly as Emily opened her eyes squinting at the intrusion of light.

The doctor gave Emily a full exam, as she felt her stomach she frowned slightly feeling the hardness there, "Emily when was your last cycle?" the doctor asked.

"Two weeks ago" Emily said her voice lacking energy. She turned to JJ who nodded in agreement.

"Was it different than normal?" she asked, even she could tell just talking was taking a lot of energy out of the brunette.

"They have been very light and only lasted a few days," Emily managed, her throat burned and talking was not just taking a lot of effort but it also hurt from the amount of times she had been sick.

"I think we need to get you in for a scan," the doctor said as JJ gave her a puzzled look.

"What do you think it is?" JJ asked as her concerned now grew.

"I am not sure, I just want to check something, Will you be able to get her to the hospital or would you rather I rang for an ambulance?"

Emily looked at JJ her chocolate eyes seemed to speak to her before she turned back to the doctor "I'll get her there, she doesn't like ambulances too much," JJ said causing the doctor to laugh.

"I will ring the hospital and let them know you will be?" she paused for a moment allowing JJ to give her a rough time.

"About an hour"

The doctor nodded "I will tell them to expect you within an hour and a half" JJ nodded. She placed a soft kiss to Emily's forehead before seeing the doctor out.

* * *

Garcia hovered in the door way to the kitchen "Will you be okay to watch them" JJ swallowed slightly.

"Of course" Garcia frowned not knowing what was going on. JJ gave her a smile.

"We have to go to the hospital so Emily can have a scan"

Garcia's eyes went wide as she looked at JJ "What do they think it is?" Garcia said as all horrible thoughts ran through her mind.

"I don't know, and the doctor didn't want to guess until she has had the scan, though she has an idea and it may be nothing to worry about" JJ said honestly.


	25. Chapter 25

**Location: Prentiss Household**

**Day & Time: Monday, 10.25**

JJ made her way back upstairs once she had spoken to Garcia, she pulled the fresh clothes out for Emily, and she looked over noticing Emily had fallen asleep again. She hated to wake her but JJ had to, they needed to find the underlying cause of what was causing her to be so sick.

"Emily" JJ said softly, as she sat on the bed next to Emily, her hand resting gently on her shoulder, "Emily, you need to wake up darling," JJ said softly causing Emily to stir slightly. Emily looked at her as she closed her eyes again, JJ shook her head slightly, she hated that she needed to wake Emily but she knew they had to get moving.

Emily stirred more, her eyes focusing on her wife, "Hey" Emily muttered causing JJ to laugh slightly.

"Hey, come on Em, I know you don't want to move but you need to get ready so we can get to the hospital" JJ said firmly as her hand rested on Emily's cheek. Emily nodded as her eyes still focused on her wife.

Emily gave her the best smile that her body allowed, "I feel like I've been hit by a truck," Emily said as she leaned into JJ. JJ could not help rolling her eyes as she spoke.

"The last time you was hit by a truck you didn't look this bad" JJ said giving her a pointed look.

The last time Emily had been hit by a truck, she had argued with Morgan that she was fine and nothing was wrong with her. Well aside from a concussion and her arm being cut badly and every part of her body was hurting, but still Emily worked the case not backing down or giving into the pain, not allowing anyone to see how much pain she was truly in. Although once they had both got back to the hotel room and JJ was able to finally inspect her body, JJ winced as she took in the deep purple bruises which laced her body.

"Okay bad example" Emily said her voice still slightly raspy.

JJ chuckled "You think!" JJ teased slightly as she help her wife up so she was sitting up on the side of the bed.

There had only been a few times that Emily had felt weak and this was one of them, she hated that JJ had to help her like this, but her body lacked any type of energy, her body ached more than anything and considering how many times she had been knocked out or in a fight.

* * *

Emily had managed to make her way downstairs with JJ's help, "I will just let the kids know where we are going" JJ said as she managed to get Emily to sit on the stool. Garcia looked at her the worry in her eyes.

"Oh Emily" Garcia said softly, it was as though someone had stripped the happiness out of her, once her eyes fully landed on Emily. Emily could only manage a slight smile before JJ came back into the kitchen; her hand rested on Emily's back which Emily gratefully leaned into too.

"Garcia, I don't know how long we will be, but if you need anything Casey's number is on the fridge," JJ said as she wrapped Emily's coat around her frame.

"Will you ring me and let me know if everything is okay?" Garcia asked watching her friends carefully. JJ gave a swift nod before taking Emily down the hall.

* * *

They had just made it to the hospital within an hour and a half; they would have been there sooner if it were not for the fact JJ had to pull the car over a few times so Emily could be sick. The drive had been mainly in silence; Emily had lent her head against the window for the most part her eyes not opening unless she needed JJ to stop. Emily hand kept her hand rested on the blonde's thigh since the moment they had set off.

The waiting area was quieter than JJ thought it would be which JJ was happy about, Emily rested her head against JJ's shoulder as JJ's arm wrapped around hers allowing her to run her fingers soothingly through the dark hair. She had never seen Emily like this and though JJ looked the essence of calm on the outside, inside she was scared as anything.

They seemed to be waiting for ages before the young nurse called them through, Emily had not even acknowledged her as JJ helped the stubborn woman onto the bed and helping her into the gown.

"Ma'am, if you would like to wait outside," JJ raised her eyebrow slightly.

"I would rather stay here, with my wife." JJ said giving a pointed look, as Emily gripped her hand.

No one on the team knew but Emily hated anyone touching her, she disliked the closeness of people in her personal space, when JJ and Emily had first started dating, Emily always seemed to have a wall around her and the second JJ stepped into her space the walls seemed to come up higher. Emily wasn't use to people touching or caring about her, the only person Emily ever seemed comfortable with was Amy and that was mainly because she was Emily's daughter.

Moreover, since the incident with Doyle. Emily had become ashamed of her body, even when JJ would look at her body raking her eyes over her, Emily's eyes would become downcast, the shame over taking her. However, this was only something JJ saw, and over time JJ had healed the old wounds, which she had wiping out the memories.

The nurse nodded as the she asked Emily to lay back, and if the dark haired profiler was honest and had the energy to speak she would utter her thanks, as she leaned her sore and tired body back against the table type bed.

"The doctor will be with you shortly" the nurse said kindly as she existed the room.

JJ placed her hand softly against Emily's cheek, causing Emily's eyes to open as she spoke softly her voice still raspy and slightly weak "Sorry Jen" JJ couldn't help the smile that crossed her lips.

"Emily, you can't help being ill baby" JJ said as she looked into deep chocolate eyes, Emily nodded against her, the slight knock on the door disturbed them slightly as JJ spoke telling them to come in. JJ breathed a sigh of relief as the older woman entered the room, she smiled slightly, as the doctor greeted them.

"Good afternoon ladies, I am Doctor Cooke," she said kindly as she shook JJ's hand.

Emily just looked at her "Hi," was all Emily managed, she was too tired, Emily just wanted to go home and climb back into bed.

"JJ and this is Emily," JJ said with a sad smile.

"I got the message from your doctor that we need to run an ultrasound and we also need to take some blood work," the doctor said as she took a seat next the bed so she was able to see her patient. JJ nodded as she kept hold of Emily's hand.

"Emily, I am just going to lift the gown up slightly so I am able to look at your stomach" the doctor said kindly, Emily couldn't help the slight flinch as cold glove covered fingers touched her skin.

She feels around her scar from where the stake had been pushed into her body by Doyle a few years earlier, the redness and the pain as the doctor pushed down slightly caused Emily to wince and her muscles to contract, the doctor frowned slightly as she continued to push around the area.

"How long ago was the surgery?" the doctor asked as she continued to feel around the area.

"About two years ago" JJ said, the confusion masking her voice as she spoke.

"Did you have any complications?" the doctor asked as she started to move lower.

"There was a couple, about six months later" the doctor nodded.

"I will order a full blood count, have you had any injuries to your abdomen recently?" the doctor ask as she pushed Emily's pants lower revealing her pubic bone.

Emily nodded, slightly as she looked at the doctor, "I caught it about a month ago, but it healed up" Emily said.

"What did you catch it on?" the doctor asked and she could tell by the look on JJ's face the younger woman didn't know about it.

"Caught it on some wire" Emily said. JJ could not help but roll her eyes slightly. "But it healed within a couple of weeks" Emily admitted as she gave JJ a half smile.

The doctor nodded as she pulled the gel out and the ultrasound machine closer, "Right this is going to be cold, is there a slight chance you could be pregnant Emily?" the doctor asked. Emily's eyes sadden as she shook her head.

* * *

**Location: Prentiss Household**

**Day & Time: Friday, 04.24 (two days before JJ received the letter regarding Simons refusal for early release) January **

***Flashback***

Emily had woken with a slight start, the pain emanating from her stomach; she made her way to the bathroom on unsteady legs, as she removed her shorts her eyes fell onto the deep red stains of blood. Her eyes began to fill with slight tears as she called for JJ hoping she was able to wake the sleeping blonde. She could not help the sobs, which came from her chest as JJ rushed in the sleepy haze still covering her mind as her eyes fell onto her wife.

"Emily?" JJ said softly as she looked at Emily whom seemed heartbroken. Sad sorrowful eyes fell onto her before she looked down at the floor.

JJ followed her as she took in the blood, her heart broke. They had been warned that due to the trauma Emily had gone through that her body might reject the embryo if the insemination had taken, JJ walked over to her wrapping her arms tightly around the heartbroken brunette.

"Oh baby" JJ said sadly as she rubbed Emily's back pulling her close to her body.

"I'm sorry" Emily mumbled as she pulled back so she was able to look into JJ's eyes, blue eyes held hers as JJ cupped her cheek, this had been the third time they had tried and each time her body had rejected.

"You have nothing to be sorry about" JJ said softly, before she stood up turning the shower on.

This was the last time Emily was going to try her body couldn't take the strain and neither could her heart, she felt like she was failing JJ, that she had let her down unable to give her wife what she wanted, unable to give her another child.

The year that Emily had come back JJ had told her how much she would love another child, they had talked long and hard about it, Emily finally agreed, the only thing Emily requested was that they used the same donor as last time.

The doctor had been slightly concerned given the injury that Emily was still recovering from and her previous medical history, her womb was slightly scared from the abortion she had, had when she was 15, and the medical problems she had while she had been pregnant with Amy, they were all slightly unsure if Emily's body would be able to cope.

But now Emily knew the that her body would not carry, it had been the third time Emily had bled, the third time Emily's body had rejected and JJ's heart broke for her wife. JJ helped Emily remove her clothes before she got in the shower; she made her way back into their bedroom grabbing Emily some fresh pj's. Her eyes scanned the bed; she let a slight sigh slip from her lips as she looked at the deep red, which laced the covers where Emily had been asleep.

***End of Flashback***

* * *

The doctor looked at JJ who in turn gave a weak smile, "Are you sure Emily." The doctor asked again taking the look that both women were giving her.

"She's sure, Emily was artificial inseminated just after Christmas, but it didn't take" JJ said sadly.

The doctor nodded as she began the scan, "Did you do a test?" the doctor asked as she turned around so she could higher the volume.

"Yes," Emily said, she had done two while she had been undercover as her stomach had started to cramp and she had begun to feel slightly bloated much like she had with Amy, but both tests informed her that she wasn't.

The rapid type beating could be heard through the doppler monitor, JJ's eyes went slightly wide as the beating sound echoed through the room.

"Is..." JJ started as Emily looked at the screen in shock. The doctor took in the expression of both women as she smiled.

"Well looks like you are very much pregnant Emily and looking at the scan I would say you are around 12 weeks." Doctor Cooke said.

Emily could see the concern on the doctor's face once she removed the monitor causing the screen to go blank. "Emily, I am just going to get a nurse to draw some blood and get them rushed through" the doctor said as she rose from the chair.

"Do you think it's an infection?" JJ asked, though she was still slightly in shock. Emily was frozen, in shock and fear this was the last thing she needed right now, she had a wife to care for, children to look after and maybe a job that she was going to return to.

"If the incision has become infected due to the wire, we will have to start you on antibiotics now, I will know more once we have the results back," JJ nodded.

"Once the nurse has taken your blood and give you an anti-sickness injection which will start working quickly, as we need to get your fluids up Emily, I am going to ask that you be moved to one of the side rooms, so we can get you set up with an IV" the doctor said firmly before leaving the room.

JJ turned back to look at Emily, she had seemed to go paler than she already was, JJ could see the fear and panic lacing her wife's eyes.

"Emily," JJ said softly pulling her wife's attention.

"I can't be Jen" Emily said, JJ could hear the shock in her voice as she spoke. JJ would admit that she was in total shock, but she could not help the smile that over took her face.

JJ cupped Emily's cheek as she watched the worry cast over Emily's face, but before she had chance to say anything the nurse entering the room pulled her attention.

"I have just come to take your blood and give you an injection then you will be moved into a side room so we can set up the IV." The nurse said a little too brightly for Emily whom was still in shock as she tried to hold back the bile that was rising in her throat. Before Emily had chance to even hint that she was about to be sick she leant over the side of the bed as she heaved, JJ grimaced slightly at the shocked look of the nurse.

Once the blood work had been done Emily was transferred into side room, both of them grateful that they were able to afford a private room, Emily hadn't said much as she laid there with her eyes closed, though it had more to do with the fact that Emily still felt like crap, but JJ worried.

"Emily" JJ said softly as Emily just nodded her head before she spoke.

"Lights hurting baby" Emily said softly, JJ made her way over to the bed sitting next to her wife which enabled Emily to rest her head on the blondes chest.

"I love you," JJ whispered as she placed her lips against Emily's forehead.

Emily leaned into her more as she spoke, "Jen, what…I mean" Emily sighed.

"Em, let's just figure out what is causing you to be so sick and if you have an infection, I get the feeling they may want and need to keep you in" JJ said calmly, though she didn't feel it, JJ still didn't like being on her own and it was even worse when Emily wasn't around, the quietness in the house made the demons take over.

Emily wrapped her arm tightly over the blonde's waist as she placed a soft kiss on her chest where her head was. "See if Garcia can stay with you just in case Jen" Emily said as a stray tear fell.

A few hours later the doctor reappeared at the door she knocked before entering and the look on her face told JJ everything, "How bad?" JJ asked before allowing the doctor to even speak.

"We need to set up the antibiotics so they will start acting quicker and get into Emily's system faster, she had a server infection and we need to be able to get it under control so it won't affect the baby.” Emily's eyes snapped opened as she looked at the doctor.

JJ swallowed slightly, as a porter entered the room setting up the IV equipment, "We are going to have to keep you in Emily," the doctor smiled as she waited for the information to settle in.

"Could I lose?" Emily hid her face into JJ trying to regain control over her emotions; she took a deep breath before turning to look at the doctor again, "What are the risks?" Emily asked instead.

"If we can reduce the infection over the next two days, there will be no long term effects,"

JJ frowned slightly "What if it doesn't?" JJ asked the doctor smiled kindly at them both.

"Your body has already started to fight against it,"

Emily nodded "I don't understand how when it happened weeks ago" Emily said as she looked straight at the doctor.

"If you have been under a lot of stress that may have triggered it, or even something that has upset your system emotionally can trigger an infection especially since where you caught yourself with the wire it is already a weak point" Emily nodded as she held on to JJ more tightly.

"Thank you" Emily said softly.

JJ turned to look at Emily her eyes held unshed tears as she began to blame herself for her wife being so ill. Emily look at her rising an eyebrow "Jen, get that thought out of your head" Emily said giving her a pointed look.

"But, it is my fault you have been under stress Em" JJ said sadly.

Emily cupped her cheek so JJ was looking at her, "You darling have not stressed me out," Emily said with a soft smile, "However, all this with the investigation into what I did undercover, now that has stressed me out, let alone that bastard dying" Emily said honestly.

"Emily what haven't you told me?" JJ asked the confusion evident on her face.

"I could have lost my badge Jen," Emily said even though JJ already knew that, Emily took a deep breath "And since Robert died because of the injuries I had inflicted on him, I could have been charged and sent to prison" JJ looked at her in slight shock, "But none of that is going to happen okay" Emily said with a soft smile as JJ threw her arms around Emily.

Emily closed her eyes, the energy she had gain seemed to leave her body, and the slowing of her breath caused JJ to smile as she spoke. "Em, I am just going to ring Casey and then Garcia to bring you your go-bag."

Emily nodded "Jen, don't tell them yet please," Emily mumbled slightly.

"I won't, darling" JJ said softly "I am also going to get her to bring Henry with her so he can see where you are okay" Emily nodded grateful that her baby boy would see and know where she would be.

"Jen, do you think he's going to be okay?"

JJ placed her lips on Emily's forehead "He will be find baby, I promise"

JJ made her way down the corridor as she dialled the familiar number. "JJ, is everything okay?" Garcia said not giving JJ a chance to speak.

"They are keeping her in, can you bring her go-bag and Henry to the hospital, you can use our other car since it has the car seat already set up." JJ said as she leaned against the wall outside.

"What about Amy?" Garcia asked as she tried to locate Emily's bag.

"If she wants to come she can, but Casey should be there by the time you are ready to set off"

Though JJ would, rather Amy be with her, she also knew that she was safe. The fear that she had for her daughter was slowly going, though it came in waves, fear and panic for Amy would come like a tidal wave but once she had seen or spoken to her JJ would settle, though at night she was worse nightmares would often wake her in a cold sweat screaming for her.

Once the line went dead JJ took a moment for herself allowing all the information they had been told to sink in, the shock had worn off and in its place happiness and joy had taken over, something she hadn't felt in months, they were going to be parents again. It would be something JJ could focus on and take her mind away from the trauma she had endured.

* * *

JJ made her way back down the corridor and into Emily's room, she couldn't help the smile that graced her lips as she watched the brunette sleep, her eyes fixated on Emily stomach, there was a life growing in there, a baby which was going to be loved so much and deep down JJ hoped it would also heal their family.

JJ's eyes went slightly wide as the realisation hit her, "We need to move" JJ said in a whispered breath causing Emily to groan slightly.

JJ allowed her mind to wonder, they had a beautiful home already, but since Robert had been to their house, if JJ was honest she couldn't fully settle there but when Emily had mentioned it JJ had refused and that was only because she didn't want to be the reason for unsettling the children. Now there was a reason to get out of that house which had not felt like home since she had been released from hospital.

Too much had happened there, Amy's dad had caused a mountain of problems once they had moved in and when JJ adopted Amy he had flipped, it was then that Emily installed the CCTV in there house, the cameras covered the whole of the outside of the house and were well hidden so no one saw them unless they truly looked. Which when Doyle had come back it had been a saving grace, but it had been their home since they had gotten together some six years ago.

* * *

The slight knock on the door pulled JJ from her thoughts, Garcia entered after a few moments she smiled brightly at JJ before her eyes fell on Emily, and Henry was wrapped in her arms.

"Mama?" Henry said softly as he looked at Emily.

"Hey little man" JJ said causing Henry to fling himself out of Garcia's arms and into JJ's.

"Mama is poorly Henry" JJ whispered as she took him over to the bed "I think she needs a Henry hug" JJ said softly as she placed Henry down at the side of Emily, his little arms wrapped around Emily's waist as he cuddled into his Mama allowing JJ chance to talk to Garcia.

"What have they said JJ?" Garcia asked, she could not help the smile gracing her lips as she watched her nephew curl into Emily. Moreover, it had amazed her that Emily seemed to pull him closer as though she knew he was there even though she was sleep.

JJ chuckled slightly as she placed a kiss on henrys head before seeing the look on Garcia's face, Garcia pulled out her camera wanting so badly to catch the moment, "She will kill you Pen" JJ warned slightly knowing what her blonde friend was planning on doing.

"But it is just so cute" Garcia gushed.

JJ shook her head as she motioned her friend out of the room so as not to disturb Emily, "What have the doctors said?" Garcia asked.

"She has an infection,"

Garcia looked at her concerned "How?"

JJ smiled, "She caught her scar on some wire," JJ said though she was not able to take the grin that was still spread over her lips. Garcia studied her for a moment, but before she had chance to speak Morgan had come up the corridor.

"Where is she?" Morgan asked not even greeting them both.

"In there sleeping" JJ said though she was slightly puzzled of how he knew where they were.

"What's going on, is she okay?"

JJ smiled "Emily is fine, she has a bad infection so she is staying in for a few days" JJ said.

"But she is going to be okay?" Morgan asked, JJ nodded knowing how much he worried about his partner.

"Hotch, Rossi and Reid are on the way, Amy didn't say what had happened aside from my princess was in the hospital" JJ shook her head, she should have known the team would all turn up, though she was surprised that Garcia hadn't called him.

"She is fine Morgan I promise" JJ said, he seemed to stare at her for a moment.

"What are you not telling us JJ?" he asked.

"Nothing," JJ said with a slight glare.

* * *

By the time the rest of the team where there they were, heading back into the room JJ had asked them to be quiet as Emily was asleep, as soon as JJ opened the door she couldn't help but laugh looking at their son. Henry had managed to climb up onto Emily's chest, his head nuzzled in tightly in Emily's neck, as Emily's arm was draped over his back rubbing it softly.

Garcia couldn't help it this time as she took a picture grinning at the sight in front of her, JJ shook her head before she made her way over to Emily running her fingers first through Emily's hair and then through Henry's, both of them were fast asleep though Emily seemed to follow the touch of her wife.

* * *

The team all sat in the room keeping an eye on both women and talking amongst themselves, Emily groaned slightly as she spoke "Can you guys shut up" Emily grumbled causing JJ to laugh slightly, Emily was never the best at being woken up unless it was her children or her wife waking her, Henry moved slightly on top of her causing Emily to pull him slightly closer.

"How you feeling Prentiss?" Morgan asked as he moved into her eye line.

Emily looked at him for a moment "I'm fine" Emily replied giving Morgan a soft smile,

"Do you want me to take him?" Garcia asked as she hovered near Emily and JJ, to which Emily shook her head.

"He is fine" Emily said as she kissed his brow.


	26. Chapter 26

**Location: Hospital**

**Day &Time: Monday, 18.05**

The rest of the team bid there farewells, wishing her a speedy recovery, though Morgan and Garcia hanged back, Morgan had been watching Emily for the past hour she had glared at him a few times but true to Morgan's form he just knew she was hiding something.

"What is going on Prentiss?" he asked.

"Nothing is going on aside from I am not well" Henry shifted slightly she closed her eyes as he tried to move closer. "Jen can you," Emily said motioning her to get Henry.

JJ carefully wrapped her arms around his small frame disturbing him slightly as she lifted him up. "Mama" Henry mumbled as he gripped onto JJ, she could not help but smile.

"I think I better get him home before he wakes" JJ said softly to which Emily nodded. JJ placed a soft kiss on Emily's cheek "Get some rest" Emily could see the worry and fear which swirled deep in her soft blue orbs, Emily's hand gently cupped her cheek.

"Shh darling, you will be okay," Emily said as she held JJ's eyes in her own.

JJ nodded against her touch knowing that the two people whom stood behind her were not going to leave her alone and more than likely once they had gotten back home they would grill her to what was really going on. Though Emily still hid so much behind her walls and she was sick, there was just something different and JJ could see it in her eyes, love, fear, happiness and sorrow swirled behind the strong stubborn woman that she knew so well.

JJ wondered if the team could see it, or was it because Emily and Morgan were so close that he could just tell she had spun him a line, though it was no different from her normal line when she had ended up in a hospital bed. There was just something in Emily's voice that screamed, and Morgan could not tell which emotion laid under the front she had placed for everyone to see.

* * *

The years of practice paid off as she placed Henry into the car seat without him so much as stirring, she knew if he woke her would fight to get to his Mama, they had such a close bond. Emily had bonded with him from the second they had been given the news, each night Emily would lay next to her. JJ found it amusing that Emily got so much enjoyment from talking to her stomach that the blonde often wondered if Emily had expected him to answer her.

JJ had been lost deep in her mind that she had not even registered that Morgan had stopped the car switched off the engine and Garcia had opened the door and was standing next to her with an amused grin on her face.

"I would give you a penny for your thoughts but it can wait" Garcia said with a knowing grin.

JJ turned and frowned "Where's"

Garcia rolled her eyes cutting JJ off before she started to panic "With his Uncle Derek" Garcia watched JJ's body relax slightly.

JJ could hear the heavy foot fall of her daughter as soon as the handle on the front door turned, she braced herself opening the door as Amy flung her arms around JJ.

"Hey princess" JJ whispered softly as she walked her daughter backwards she was grateful at that moment that Morgan had hold of Henry.

"Ma staying in?" Amy asked as she kept hold of her Mom.

"Yes, she may be in for a few days" Amy nodded against her still refusing to let go.

JJ was use to her sometimes acting like this; it was normally when she was worried about something, much like Emily. Amy hated hospitals with a passion but for her own reasons, she had been amazed of how well the young brunette had been when she had been in hospital, but she knew that she would not have come today and also that Amy would not visit her Ma.

It was not anything against her Ma or her Mom. And it was not a case of favourites, it was a case of too many bad memories and too much time spent in a room which was nothing but white and clean, rooms which lacked life aside from the person which lived in that room for the time.

"Mom, Casey has made everyone something to eat" Amy said.

JJ nodded as Henry began to stir slightly, Amy moved and JJ almost winced knowing exactly what was about to happen, knowing that the sleeping bundle which was wrapped in Morgan's arms was about to rupture his ear drum and scream the house down, because his Mama wouldn't be there.

She held her breath as she waited the hazy sleep, which laced his small face and eyes as he frowned, looking straight at Morgan as though the face did not register in his mind, within a swift move JJ was at his side holding her arms out to take him.

Sure enough, he took one look at his Mommy's face his eyes grew wide "Mama?" JJ could understand his confusion he had fallen asleep in her arms and now he was in Morgan's, she had known he would scream the house down but it would have been worse trying to get him to leave the hospital without his Mama.

"She will be home soon buddy" JJ said softly wrapping her arms around him, she could hear Amy mumbling numbers behind her as though she was counting how long till he started to cry for her. They understood the last time Henry had left his Mama in a hospital bed, he had not seen her for months, and it was fear and a fear, which they had placed inside his small tiny body and mind.

"I WANT MAMA" JJ wished she could have closed her ears as his voice ripped through them piercing her mind. The only thing JJ could do was hold him close and hope he tired himself out soon enough.

* * *

It had been a long day; too long JJ was tired not just, because she had been out most of the day, which was something, she had not done in so long but add in the worry and now the excitement that brewed inside her like a storm. It was not a fierce or angry storm, which she had felt since she had come home, it was a calm beautiful storm, which was waiting to come out, waiting for the miracle to come into their lives the storm of emotion, and nothing could take that storm away. It over took the fear and dulled the pain she felt inside, it had washed over her like a blanket.

Morgan had been watching her closely as well as Amy, the short exchange and the puzzled look on her face told him something more was going on but yet the feeling which he would normally get in his gut was not there, the warning sign that something was wrong was nowhere to be found, not a twinge. They sat in the den watching the TV but not really watching. JJ had disappeared with Henry, whose screams and cries had become dull hiccups, and shuddered breath, as his small frame shook slightly.

* * *

By the time she had come back downstairs Amy was about to call it a night, her dark brown eyes were full of sleep the weariness came off in a slight wave she looked at her Mom for a moment, much like Emily words never needed to be said, no questions needed to be asked it was just a look, an understanding of the unspoken word which the young brunette had. It was a gift the ability to read a person without fully knowing the question that they wanted to ask in the first place.

The question, which had already been answered for her as she looked deeply into swirling blue eyes. A look she had seen before, a look she knew and had loved the whole expression of her Mom she knew. The haze of sleep seemed to lift slightly from her eyes and JJ knew the gaze was one of searching. Emily often got a look before the switch was pulled and the puzzled started to fit together.

JJ shook her head as her lips touched her daughter's forehead, to intelligent for her age. So much like Emily, it use to worry her how much Amy knew about human behaviour but her mother had been a profiler for years. Amy had gone months without seeing her and had adapted to the fact.

Amy had learnt to read and understand Emily without asking any question and that was because Amy always knew her Mother would never tell her. The bright smile that took over her young face warmed JJ deeply "We will talk about it in the morning," JJ promised.

* * *

JJ made her way back into the den where her two friends were waiting for her, it felt as though she was about to face a firing squad. However, neither eyes, which had fallen on her held any, worry just the curious nature, which they both had. It had been a trait that profilers had and Garcia though she was their tech goddess they knew she knew more about a person's behaviour than anyone had every given her credit for.

Working alongside the most powerful minds in the country had a habit of rubbing off on a person. Add in what Garcia saw everyday it was only just a matter of time before things would fall into place and the questions she had would be answered with a slight raise of an eyebrow, a single word which could speak so many volumes that it could enable you to be still and quite, whether to fear or not.

"JJ what is going on, and do not tell me nothing" Morgan said more than he asked his voice was firm and strong and it made JJ flinch slightly, she could see in his eyes that he wanted answers and spinning him another line was not going to work, he knew both women too well.

However, she could not betray her wife and she would not, it was something JJ had never done, there where so many things none of them knew about Emily and in truth about her. It was part that each of them kept hidden because everyone had secrets everyone had a past, some were worse than others were and somewhere hidden that deeply it would take more than digging for it to surface.

"Aside from Emily being stuck in a hospital bed?" JJ asked giving them a slightly unsure look.

"Yes, I know there is something more" Morgan said. JJ knew he worried and she knew he loved them both, but sometimes even, he forgot that not everything was meant for the team. Some things were private and this was not something they wanted to hide. This was because Emily was in shock and JJ had seen the fear, which had laced her eyes.

"We need to move" JJ settled for half of the truth, but Garcia had watched her and stayed silent, Morgan for his part didn't know the blonde as well as Garcia even though they had worked together for years.

"That's not it" Garcia said with a frown, JJ groaned internally, why could people not just leave something alone. "We won't say anything" JJ cast a look which said 'that's bullshit and you know it' Garcia could only grin.

JJ wanted the world to swallow her, their eyes on her watching her as though they were able to read her mind. She wished Emily was there at the side of her, she knew her face gave her emotions away, she knew her eyes told the secrets she so badly wanted to hide.

However, the one saving grace was the fact that they did not know her like Emily did, they would not be able to fully tell just with looking at her, unlike her daughter and Emily. She took a breath as she held Garcia's eyes in her own, she knew there was a slight warning on her face, in her eyes and the tone in her voice was a clear sign to leave it one she knew both of them would listen.

"This hasn't been my home for a long time so can we just leave it at that please." Morgan remained still for a moment his soft eyes looking deeply at her before he gave a slight nod; Garcia averted her eyes slightly but gave a half-hearted nod as her shoulders slumped.

They spent the rest of the evening watching films, Garcia was curled into Morgan, JJ had curl up into herself slightly though Sergio was sat on the only part of her lap offered since her legs were tucked underneath her, and JJ's eyes were closed and had been for a while.

Garcia had looked over at her friend giving her a soft but sad smile knowing that the blonde was asleep she nudged Morgan slightly as she kept her voice soft so not to disturb her. "Do you think she will fully heal,"

Morgan gave a kind smile as he placed his lips against her head, "I think she already is baby girl,"

The dark cloud, which had been casted over his friend's eyes where slowly lifting and he had noticed tonight as he looked at her, he knew her expressions mostly, he had seen so much of a change in her over the years. He had watched her grow he watched on as though he was the proud elder brother as she bloomed into the strong woman which was asleep before him. He had seen the change more once Emily and JJ had got together and told everyone. However, not one of them was shocked; they had already known they just waited for them both to figure it out for themselves.

* * *

The scream ripped through the house waking JJ with a start and sending Sergio scrambling under the piano, which lay upon on the wall.

"MAMA!" there it was again she thought she had dreamt it. Her feet moved faster than her body could even register in her mind, the sheer terror in her child's voice ripped her heart open.

Garcia and Morgan were both on her heels as they flew up the stairs and onto the landing. JJ slowed as she heard the soft sobs, which emanated from her daughter's bedroom. The soft cries which they could hear intermittently now, JJ slowly opened her door finding Amy curled up into a tight ball the teddy in her hand held in the death grip which JJ knew all too well.

It had been a common thing even before JJ had been kidnapped, even before Emily's death had been faked. It was the reason why Emily was so guarded; it was the reason for so many things. However, JJ had only got half of the story, each time Emily had tried her heart broke, she would sob uncontrollably, in the end sending herself to sleep wrapped in JJ's arms.

JJ slowly made her way in, she knew her friends where in the hall and that Garcia would be checking on Henry even she had heard his little feet hit the ground as they ran up the stairs.

"Amy" JJ said softly, she knew she was awake, she always was, but the nightmares always seemed so real to her.

The part, which JJ did know, was even though Amy had suffered slightly she did not know the half of what her father had done. She knew bits, she had seen bits and the bits she had seen made her mind jump and expand, what was half-real and what wasn't but no one could tell the unconscious mind it was untrue that it was a trick.

JJ sat on the end of the bed giving Amy her space as she waited she knew her daughter would fling herself into her arms so she was able to gain comfort from her. Comfort that she was okay; that they were truly okay, despite how smart and intelligent Amy was there was something's she just couldn't understand.

She was too young to see and understand everything that had happened everyone had tried to explain and help. However, Emily had decided that for now they would leave it that she would try to explain it when she was older and had more understanding.

JJ brushed the hair out of her face as Amy clung to her, her head buried into her chest so she was able to hear the steady heart beat and take comfort from it, JJ rocked her slightly they didn't need words Amy just needed the strong loving arms of her Mom or Mother wrapped around her.

JJ placed her lips softly against Amy's hair, "Do you think you can go back to sleep princess," JJ whispered she had felt Amy calm down and her breathing become more steady.

Amy nodded against her before she moved slightly; she knew her Mom would not leave until she was asleep as JJ laid down with her, her arm open so Amy could curl into her again.

An outsider might think her family was broken or had been through too much pain, too many things had happened to them. However, there had only really been three major things happen, three things, which had hurt them all deeply. Amy's father, Doyle and now this, but JJ knew the only thing it was going to leave now was another scar, that had not been caused by the job.

* * *

Slowly she made her way back out of Amy's bedroom knowing that two worried and concerned eyes would fall straight on to her, they all knew Amy had nightmares most of the team had witnessed them, when they had held a get together at their home, "Everything okay?" Morgan asked.

JJ gave a soft smile "Yes, bad nightmare" JJ said through a yawn, they all were tired, and JJ was exhausted.

JJ bid them both goodnight, they had both stayed over so many times that the two guestrooms had been claimed by them both and littered with their things. JJ knew she would have trouble sleeping without Emily there next to her, as she lay on the bed starring at the celling she knew though it was only a matter of time before the bedroom door would open and a small body would make its way onto her bed.


	27. Chapter 27

**Location: Prentiss Household.**

**Day & Time: Tuesday, 06.03**

JJ moved slightly the warmth of the sun came through the closed curtain though the solid form, which was behind her, did not allow her to move, she had felt the bed dip not long after she had managed to fall asleep, though she could not have been sure. The small hand which was wrapped protectively across her waist much like Emily would do, the slight mumble that came as she moved but her body seemed to be pinned she sighed. How was it that they had a huge bed that you could easily fit eight people feel as though it was made for one?

JJ opened her eyes her body froze before it jerked causing Amy to hold her tighter "Mom" she mumbled her voice heavy with sleep, "Aunt Pen, bad dream" she grumbled again, JJ was slightly unsure who her daughter was referring to, she couldn't remember Amy waking her or if she had dreamt, anytime she had a nightmare Emily would wake her.

Her mind seemed to forget the point that Emily was not in fact here but she could not help but sit bolt upright as her eyes searched the room "Emily?" JJ said which managed to wake Amy the actions the movement the sound of her Mom saying her Ma's name made her sit up placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Mom, she's at the hospital remember" Amy said as the sleep lifted slightly from her voice.

JJ seemed frozen as she looked at Henry who was curled into Emily's pillow hugging it tightly, she shook her head as her eyes landed on her best friend Garcia.

"When did" JJ's voice trailed slightly.

Amy looked at her with a loving smile "When you screamed" was all Amy could say "I couldn't wake you Mom" Amy's voice was slightly sad.

JJ had been trapped in her mind, there had been no familiar smell, no strong arm wrapped around her as her mind took her further into the nightmare, Amy had known that sometimes her Ma would struggle to wake her Mom and sometimes the only thing she was able to do was hold her and hope that it passed. Which it had though it had left JJ whimpering slightly in her sleep.

Garcia had refused to leave her friend after JJ had woken her and fallen asleep near Amy not too close to JJ but close enough, JJ nodded slightly "Sorry" she gave her daughter a half smile.

Amy yawned slightly before she was able to answer "It's okay" there was nothing else really that she could say.

She was a child she did not fully know what had happened other than her Mom had been taken and hurt badly, that sometimes she would beg whoever to stop in her dreams. Tears would fall from her eyes, but her Ma could always calm her, her Ma always had that about her she was able to take the demons away and bring you comfort either just by holding you or talking so softly no one could hear aside from you.

Amy moved allowing JJ to get up without disturbing Garcia though both of them knew the only thing that woke Garcia would be the smell of coffee or Henry jumping on her, but he was fast asleep. JJ shook her head slightly as she looked at him; he always missed Emily when she was not here. It was lucky they had Casey; they had always had Casey they all seemed to come as a package. She had been with Amy since she was one, though every so often she would leave but she always came back and was never gone too long.

Emily's life had always been one big puzzle, one big jigsaw that no matter how you tried to put it together the pieces just never seemed to fit. However, JJ knew her, she knew her heart and that was all that mattered.

JJ made her way downstairs switching on the coffee machine, she heard the footfall of her daughter come downstairs not long after, JJ had known she wouldn't go back to bed that she would come down after a few moments, it was natural. "Mom," Amy said though it came out as more than a question.

JJ turned and looked at her for a moment "Yes princess"

Amy's head tilted slightly, "What's going on with Ma?" she asked, JJ could not help but smile as she walked over cupping her cheek. Amy could see the love behind her Mom's eyes; she kissed her cheek before whispering in her ear.

"Wait till your Mother is home and no one is around to listen" JJ smiled as she pulled back. "My sweet beautiful girl" Amy could not help the confused look again her Mom's eyes were shining as though gems had been placed in her eyes, which helped, set of the pale blue orbs.

"Mom, are we moving?"

JJ could not help but chuckle "You heard that did you" JJ asked as Amy nodded, "You want to stay here?" JJ asked but she knew the answer but also Amy always needed that slight control. That slight knowledge that not everything was in someone else's hands.

"No" was all Amy said before she moved towards the fridge. "Can we get a house with a pool?" Amy asked with a smug grin.

JJ closed her eyes slightly as she changed the subject, "Pancakes?"

* * *

**Location: Hospital**

**Time: 10.49**

JJ made her way down the corridor Henry firmly attached to her hip, his arms around her neck. JJ couldn't help but think each hallway looked the same, the only thing that really told you were you was going was the door number if you didn't look at the signs placed above your head.

She knocked gently on the door before opening it slowly, the grin that swept her lips as she looked at Emily whom was fast asleep her head resting to one side her arm slightly open as though she was waiting for someone or something to magically appear at her side.

JJ placed Henry on the bed and he automatically joined her his head resting on her shoulder, she smiled as Emily's arm wrapped around him holding him in place so he would not go anywhere, JJ knew it wouldn't be long before she woke as she made herself comfy on the green chair at her side her fingers interlinked with Emily's free hand causing Emily's head to move so she was now facing the blonde.

A small grin appeared on her lips "How long you been here" Emily whispered her eyes still closed.

"About twenty minutes," JJ said softly as Emily yawned.

"How you feeling darling?" JJ asked.

Emily slowly opened her eyes, the light seemed to attack her as her eyes snapped shut again, that first intrusion of light always seemed the worse as though the light was burning your eyes which caused you to close them again. Emily let go of JJ's hand as she brought it up to her face to rub her eyes, for some reason that action always helped as she managed to open them.

"Much better, do you think they will let me home" JJ could not help but laugh, true to Emily's form she could only manage one night and she knew Emily would keep asking until they relented or until JJ shouted at her.

However, JJ was in agreement that she also wanted Emily home; Emily studied JJ's eyes for a moment as though she was reading her thoughts, which were buried, deep in her mind. "Bad dreams?" Emily asked to which JJ gave a nod.

The doctors came and went drawing bloods so they could see how her body was reacting to the drugs, which were being pumped in, JJ had told her everything, which had happened last night, and Emily could not help but laugh at the fact JJ had woken up with Garcia in the bed. It humbled her that they looked after her so much like they always had, but to look over her wife the way they had done warmed her heart.

JJ had changed so much over the years though her heart never altered, it had become solid but yet still kind with all the emotion as though each case, each victim that appeared on her desk was her child, her sister or brother, it was as though she knew them even before she could see what their lives would have been or what they should have become.

However, even now years later her heart still held all those emotions all that compassion, even not even after what she had been through. Yes, Emily could see the change her eyes had given it away but everything else had remained the same.

"How's Amy doing?" Emily asked once everyone had left and the thoughts which had swilled in her mind had ceased, and had shut down for that moment in time. Her mind was always awash, always thinking always looking for something or making sure her family was truly okay.

"She's fine, one nightmare as you know, she also knows something is going on and I told her to wait till you were home she sends her love and wants you home" JJ laughed slightly.

JJ watched as the play of emotions played over Emily's eyes, "What is it baby?" JJ asked after a moment, Emily shook her head slightly.

"Jen, if I had known, what if I have done something and it has hurt this little one before it even has a chance." Emily's eyes pleaded with her to understand, to see where the fear was coming from, and see why she thought she would never carry to full term or one of her actions could have affected the baby.

With them words, JJ's lips met her pulling the brunette into a loving kiss one filled with more passion than ever, her hand rested on her chest above her heart her fingers touching the brand, which lay beneath the gown.

"Stop worrying darling, this little one will be fine, it has already brought us one surprise, this is meant to be darling, and this is a special gift which you get to experience again. I love you Emily," JJ said as she cupped her cheek. "And I know you would give your life so none of our children had to suffer at the hands of another"

Emily tilted her head, "I failed at that once remember" Emily said with a pointed look and a half grin.

"That was so different and you know it" Emily nodded as Henry began to move at her side.

"I love you too Jen," she frowned slightly "You're okay with this though aren't you?" Emily asked, it was the fear her fear that this would be too much, too soon would.

"I think, this is going to be the third best thing to happen to our family and also gives us all a fresh start a chance to move forward and heal, much like Henry healed some of the scars which had been left prior" JJ said softly as her lips touched Emily's again.

Thankfully as it drew into early evening and JJ had been home leaving Henry with Casey and Amy. JJ had made her way back to the hospital, Emily was laid there with a smug grin on her face she had rung JJ not even an hour after she had managed to get home sort both children out and just as JJ was to take that sip of coffee the phone had rung with Emily on the line announcing that she was able to go home and asking JJ to come and get her.

JJ could not help the slight groan that came out, it seemed as though she was not able to finish a cup of coffee over the past few days. However, she wanted Emily home just as badly as the brunette had wanted to come home.

* * *

**Location: Prentiss Household.**

**Time: 18.39**

It had taken over an hour to get Emily ready to go they never seemed to rush and since they needed the antibiotic's they were later than they thought to each of their frustration. The door opened as Amy sprinted down the hall her arms flinging around Emily's waist.

Emily smiled as she pulled her close whispering in her ear "Gentle princess" to which Amy tried to loosen her hold.

Once Amy had finally let go allowing Emily to walk into the house fully and make her way into the kitchen, she just needed that fix of coffee the one thing she has missed for the past few days. The hospital had coffee but the vile swill of the burnt coffee attacked her as she turned her head away and settling for tea. It just did not have the same effect. JJ shook her head knowing that Emily without one coffee inside her was going to be hard work and she prayed that Emily would not feel sick at the smell much as she had when carrying Henry.

"Ma?" Amy said as she joined them settling herself at the table, her head resting upon her hands as though if she let go her head either would fall off or would crash against the table due to the weight. Emily looked at her waiting for her to speak again, she had said Ma as a question which Emily had heard she knew her daughters tone her eye brow raised as she waited.

"What's going on?" she finally asked, she knew something was she could tell Amy like her Ma had this ability to sense when something was changing when something had either happened or was about to turn her world upside down. Nevertheless, looking at her Ma she was not sure which.

"Let me and your Mom have this then we will have a chat okay" though Emily was fit enough to come home, her skin was still much paler than normal, her eyes held dark circles underneath which told them all she hadn't exactly been sleeping too good even in the hospital.

They both had been unsure how Amy would take this news, they hadn't spoken about it in the first place, they hadn't told her they were going to try and it was mainly because so many had already failed, Emily had already tried so many times that they had given up.

It was the start of the year and Emily had told JJ when they went to the clinic that this would be the last time and that she would not try again. JJ's heart had hurt slightly when Emily had said that not because she was unable to have more children so they had that but because she wanted to see her wife grow she wanted Emily to experience everything which JJ had when she had been pregnant with Henry.

Amy sat in the chair across from them both as JJ took Emily's hand in her own, Emily for maybe the fourth time in her life was nervous, the last time she had felt like this was when she came back from the dead. Her daughter watched them both, Henry had snuggled into Amy's side and both of them were unsure if it was safe for him to be there, they never knew what type of reaction Amy would give.

They had spent years treading carefully with her and that was mainly because Emily couldn't stand to see her in hospital again pumped full of drugs just to keep her calm, just to keep her safe. Emily bit the inside of her lip as she looked for the words to say in her mind.

"Ma, what is it." Amy said, she was getting frustrated and worried as she watched her.

Emily just could not find the words, JJ shook her head slightly as she let go of Emily's hand clasping both her hands together as she leant forward.

"Mom? Please tell me," Amy said as the emotions and fear started to take up speed inside her body.

"Amy, I don't want you to get upset, I want you to listen, okay?" JJ said firmly.

This had been how they told her about Henry, though they had told her they were trying before, this time they hadn't and JJ knew full well what would flash through her mind and that it maybe anger that spills out.

Emily looked at her and it was the look on Amy's face that made her just say it as though she was ripping open a band-aid. "I'm pregnant" she said her voice wavered slightly but her eyes held her daughters for a moment.

"You're what now?" Amy said. Emily gave her a look that said you know full well what I said, but just in case, you missed it.

"I'm pregnant"

Amy just looked at her slightly frozen, the scowl appeared across her face before she had chance to say anything JJ cut in. "Amy this was planned, your Ma is three months along, we didn't know until your Ma here ended up in the hospital" JJ said her voice more firm and steady than Emily's had been.

"You" Amy could not find the words, she was not sure what she was meant to feel, she jumped up flying out the room leaving a very startled Henry who had been sat behind her playing with the back of her top before she had abruptly got up running down the hall.

Emily sighed "That went well" JJ couldn't help but laugh slightly, and it was nothing to do with she found Amy's reaction funny it was more the fact that it was exactly the same reaction they got each time they had to tell her something that could turn her small world upside down.

"I'll go" JJ said as she stood up as Henry made his way over to Emily.

"So buddy, you like the idea of another brother or sister?" Emily asked not fully sure Henry would understand her. His eyes became wide as he looked towards the door as though he expected someone to walk through it at any moment.

"When?" he asked his face bright, his eyes sparkling in excitement, it was someone for him to play with, though Amy would play with him sometimes, and they all knew how much she loved him and like Emily she also doted on him.

But Amy was different, Amy board easy and had leaned more to doing school work or locking herself in her bedroom these days, she had so much time for Henry, but she was studying so much, she had been offered early admission to college she had already moved up in grades, her boredom would come as soon as she had learnt everything she needed to.

Her IQ was not as high as Reid's but it was close enough, which in its self-posed more problems than you could imagine, she would bore easily, get herself into trouble, sit in the class not even listening because she already knew everything, she did not need to be taught it.

"Not yet buddy" Emily said as she looked down at him with a soft smile.

"Where is" he frowned slightly puzzled his little mind grasping the concept of what a brother and sister was but not fully understanding why he couldn't play with them yet and why his Mama did know which it was. Emily chuckled she had no clue how to explain it to a four year old but she would give it a go and pray he understood even if it was only slightly.

"He will be here not long after Uncle Morgan's birthday" she said.

Henry knew when Morgan's birthday was, mainly because it was a month after his own and though it was Morgan's birthday it was Morgan that brought Henry another present much like he did with Amy. It was strange but it was something Morgan did and Emily couldn't argue or tell him no.

“Do you remember Jessie?" Emily asked, it had been a good few months if not a year since they had last seen her but Emily lived in hope.

"Amy's Auntie" he said with a slight frown as though he was trying to fully picture her.

Emily nodded, "Do you remember feeling something move in her tummy?" Emily asked hoping he would.

"Libby?" Henry said with a big grin, though he never fully understood all Henry knew was Jessie had Libby inside her, he seemed happy with the explanation at the time and he had felt her move which much like with Reid it had freaked him out slightly causing both JJ and Emily to laugh.

"Well that's where you brother or sister is, but inside my tummy" Emily said he frowned slightly as his little hand reached out and rested on her tummy, as though he expected to feel something.

Jessie had been far along two months from her due date when she had appeared on the doorstep wanting to see Amy. They hadn't seen each other for years but she was still family well Amy's family and Emily would never deny her child any member of her family no matter what they had done or what had happened.

"Why Libby not move?" Henry asked.

Emily could not help chuckle slightly "This isn't Libby, little man, we haven't thought on a name yet" Emily said softly as she pulled Henry onto her lap.

* * *

JJ sighed as she stood outside the bedroom door, she listen for any type or sound coming from her room but yet there was nothing, JJ took a deep breath before knocking and instead of waiting she opened the door walking in, she looked at Amy, though the young brunette was curled into herself her hands wrapped around her forearms as though she had placed a wall between herself or anyone whom dared to come near.

JJ made her way towards her kneeling in front of her "Hey stop that princess" JJ said softly and her fingers wrapped around Amy's. Amy shook her head as she lifted it up so she was able to look at her Mom.

"What if it happens again Mom?"

JJ smiled softly "Come here darling," JJ said softly as she tugged gently on her hands.

"It hurt so badly last time Mommy," Amy said as she wrapped herself into her Mom's strong arms.

"I can't promise it won't princess, but what I can promise you is, that I will make sure to look after her to keep them both safe and healthy okay, just like you and your Ma did with me when I was carrying Henry" Amy nodded against her.

"I don't want to lose another sister or brother Mommy," Amy said as tears slipped from her eyes.

"I know darling and neither do we princess, neither do we." JJ said as she rocked Amy in her arms.


	28. Chapter 28

**Location: Garcia's Office BAU (Three weeks later)**

**Day & Time: Friday, 10.45**

JJ made her way down the familiar corridor, her emotions slightly raw after her appointment with the department psychologists, she knew they would not let her back to work just yet and she had resigned herself to that fact. The only saving grace was that she had other things to take her mind off everything. Instead of knocking JJ walked straight into Garcia's office.

"I do like knocking" Garcia said as she heard the door close before turning around to see who had intruded her space.

JJ smiled "Well I wanted to surprise you."

Garcia spun around a bright smile taking over her lips "JayJ," she let out in a squeal, before noticing the blondes demeanour, though instead of addressing the red water eyes she kept the bright kind smile upon her face as she spoke. "What brings you here?" Garcia asked, they had not seen each other much over the past few weeks since Emily had come home from the hospital and right now JJ needed her bright and bubbly friend.

JJ pulled up a chair taking a seat, "Appointment with the quack" JJ replied with a slight shrug.

"How did it go?" Garcia asked her face turning slightly serious.

"It went okay," JJ said giving her a half smile.

Garcia nodded not wanting to prod anymore; they all knew how private JJ was she never spoke about her personal life in all the time Garcia had known her. Emily and JJ never really had any problems other than concerns over Amy to which all the team had been concerned about the younger Prentiss.

"Did Emily not go with you?" Garcia asked JJ's demeanour had not altered since she had walked in; JJ shook her head in reply causing Garcia to frown. "Why not?" JJ could not help the soft smile at her friends concern as to why she was here alone.

"Emily is still not 100% herself and also she can't enter the building while she is under investigation" JJ said her voice lacking emotion as her voice trailed off slightly.

"How long do you think all this is going to take, with Emily?" Garcia asked, trying to get the young blonde to think about something else.

JJ shrugged slightly "We don't know, but right now she isn't too worried about it, the worst they can do is take her badge, which right now I don't think she would mind. Though I know she really doesn't want me to come back without her," JJ said as she rolled her eyes slightly.

"Why would Emily not want you to come back?" Garcia asked slightly confused.

"To be honest she doesn't like the idea of me being here without her"

Garcia sighed, "She worries about you JJ, you know she would give her" Garcia paused. "Morgan says she feels guilty"

JJ could only nod "I know she does but she has nothing to feel guilty about. It wasn't HER FAULT!" JJ said her voice rising slightly.

"Whoa kitten, she is your wife she is allowed to worry" Garcia said softly.

"Worry yes, blaming herself for what happened to me," JJ shook her head "It wasn't her fault" JJ said sadly.

"We all know what Prentiss is like, and she is your wife JJ," Garcia sighed "You should have seen her when she came back, I have never seen her so angry with the team, with us." Garcia said softly.

JJ nodded, "I know Amy told me," JJ shook her head slightly. "I think on some level she is still angry and there is nothing anyone one can do to change that right now, she will work it through in her own time, but right now she doesn't want to talk about anything" JJ said with a dry laugh.

In truth, Emily and JJ were much alike, Emily blamed herself for not protecting her wife, for not finding her sooner, while JJ hid and could not bring herself to talk to Emily just yet. JJ wondered how much more damage it would do to Emily's mind if she knew every detail. Though they both knew, deep down JJ just was not ready to talk about it and all Emily was able to do was be there for her and be her rock.

Garcia nodded knowing it was more likely JJ did not want to talk about anything yet, they had been friends for so long that they could both tell what the other meant without the words being said.

"So what brings you to my little cave?" Garcia asked changing the subject.

"Well I was hoping you would like to come house hunting with me and Amy this weekend"

Garcia's eyes went wide, "What about Emily?" Garcia asked with a puzzled look on her face "Shouldn't she be the one to go looking with you both?"

JJ gave a soft smile "She still isn't herself yet,"

Garcia frowned "She is still being sick?"

JJ nodded "Oh yes, at all hours" JJ said with a slight smirk. "So would that be a yes?" JJ asked as she took in the amused look on Garcia's face.

Garcia squealed slightly as she took hold of JJ's hand causing the blonde to flinch slightly. "I was hoping we could look at a few while I'm here?" JJ asked.

Garcia smiled "Oh this is going to be so much fun!" she exclaimed as she spun around pulling up a few websites.

JJ could not help but chuckle slightly. "So do you have a rough idea of what we are looking for so we can narrow the search down?" Garcia asked as she turned around to look at JJ.

"Gated community, something up market. Emily has given me free rain with it, but I want to find something that will appeal to the person she is rather than what I like" JJ said softly.

"Okay. What type of price range?" Garcia asked as she pulled up a site that styled older looking houses.

JJ smiled knowing Garcia would throw a pink fit "$1 million." JJ said with an amused look as Garcia's jaw dropped.

"What now?" Garcia asked thinking she had heard the blonde incorrectly.

JJ raised her eyebrow, "Do I really need to say it again?" JJ asked as she chuckled slightly.

"No I heard you, but seriously JJ, what is your budget?" Garcia asked not fully believing what JJ had just said.

"$1 million. That is the top scale, if we can find something below that would be great," JJ said as she tried to contain the laughter that was building deep inside her chest.

Garcia looked at her the shock still showing on her face "Do I even want to know where you got that type of money from?" Garcia asked her voice filled full of bewilderment.

JJ just shrugged "From the few businesses we own" Garcia could only nodded.

* * *

**Location: Prentiss Household**

**Time: 12.15**

Emily sat curled up with Amy asleep in her arms, as she watched Henry playing with his building blocks, building a tower just to knock it down with his cars, she could not help but smile to herself. Her family was back together though it was still hurt and she knew it was going to take a lot of time to heal, she could not help but feel that this move would help settle them all.

Emily was so lost in her own thoughts she never heard the front door close or the footsteps that fell on the wooden floors. JJ stood against the doorframe watching her wife and her children, she had already gather that none of them had heard her come in. She could see Amy was asleep, and looking at her wife she knew Emily was lost in her mind.

JJ knew Emily too well, even though she was not stood in front of her she knew. JJ spoke softly so not to make Emily jump too much, "Hey darling" the sound broke Emily's thoughts as she jumped slightly causing Amy to move slightly.

"Hey sweetheart" Emily said softly as she turned her head to look at her wife before motioning for JJ to come and join her on the couch.

Once JJ was curled into the other side of her, her head resting against Emily's chest, her hands softly running through the blonde's hair giving her comfort. "How did it go today Jen?" Emily asked as she kept her voice soft as JJ wrapped her arms around her waist.

"I managed to shock Garcia and sent her on a task of finding us a few viewings for the weekend." JJ said as she tried to curl into Emily more.

Emily could not help the sad sigh leaving her lips before pressing her lips against her head. It hurt Emily, for the first time since they had got together JJ could not talk to her, Emily would hold her while she screamed and cried in her sleep but as soon as JJ would wake, it was as though walls slammed down over her. Emily would never push her or make her do anything she could only hope that JJ would talk to her in time.

"Should I be worried that Garcia is picking houses for you three to look at?" Emily asked as she continued to run her fingers through JJ's hair.

"Possibly, but I have given her strict instructions" JJ said as she chuckled slightly.

"Mommy?" Henry said softly causing JJ to move slightly.

"Yes little man" JJ gave him a soft look.

"Love you" JJ couldn't help but give a warm smile as she spoke.

"I love you too buddy." For now, JJ would let the love of her family wash over her and help heal her.

"What time is Amy's appointment?" JJ asked as she moved slightly.

"3.30, Will you be okay here on your own Jen? Casey said she will be back around five" Emily said as she looked softly at her wife. JJ nodded as she looked across at her daughter.

"Has she been asleep long?"

Emily nodded "Since around ten"


	29. Chapter 29

**Location: Prentiss Household.**

**Time: 16.45**

The loud slamming of the door made JJ jump as Amy stormed her way up stairs, her appointment had taken a lot out of her and even though Emily had gone with her, she had no clue what had been said in the doctor's office.

"Emily?" JJ called as she made her way into the hallway, as the door slammed upstairs. The front door opened slowly again as Emily walked in looking more harassed than ever. "What happened?" JJ asked taking in the whole demur of Emily.

"I don't know" Emily said as her shoulders slumped slightly. "She asked to go in alone and hasn't said a word to me since we left there and as you can tell,"

JJ nodded "Let me go and talk to her." JJ said softly as she wrapped her arms around Emily.

"I really thought we were getting somewhere," Emily said as she rested her head on JJ's shoulder.

"A lot has happened since she has last been, it will be okay," JJ said as she rested her hand against Emily's cheek. Emily could only nod knowing that Amy had not been to her appointment since she had gone undercover or since JJ had been kidnapped.

JJ placed a soft kiss on Emily's cheek before giving her a soft smile. "I won't be long, Henry is in the den" Emily nodded before she made her way through leaving JJ to go and deal with their daughter.

* * *

JJ closed her eyes as she stood outside Amy's bedroom, "Amy can I come in please?" JJ asked as she knocked softly on the door. She waited a moment still getting no response, instead of knocking again, she tried the door handle only to find it was firmly wedged shut.

"Amy open this door now," JJ said in a firm voice.

The only rule they had set down was that none of their doors ever be locked or barricaded shut, this was due to the fact last time Amy had locked herself in her bedroom she had ended up in the psychiatric unit for two months. Her heart sunk as she spoke firmly again.

"Amy open this door right now" JJ said her voice firm with only a slight hint of panic behind it.

Still nothing, she couldn't hear anything, fear and panic began to course through JJ's veins as she shouted for Emily, "EMILY!" the fear laced in her voice could be heard in that one word.

A few moments later Emily was running up the stairs coming to a standstill in front of JJ. "What's going on?" Emily asked as she took in the panic, which was laced over JJ's face.

"I can't get in" JJ said the worry lacing her voice.

"Amy Lea Prentiss open this door right now," Emily scolded as she turned the handle placing her weight behind it, in a hope she would be able to push it open.

Amy had placed her Chester drawers behind the door knowing that the heavy wood would not allow the door to be moved, Amy was curled up in the corner of the bedroom tears running down her cheeks as she stared blankly at the door.

* * *

The voices not fully registering, the slight bang on her door, doing nothing to bring her out of her mind. It was blank, confused her body shook slightly as she tried to curl more into herself.

Her breathing slowed but the feelings that were overwhelming her body had taken over, pain, anger and the guilt ripped through her body; the questions, which played in her young mind, took up a form of voices as though they could give her the answers that she was looking for.

She had been trapped in ever since she had got into the car to come home, in the blank abyss. However, it didn't feel like home anymore, it was a reminder a constance slap in her face, everything was moving too fast, swirling inside her, fear of being left alone, guilt of what had happened to JJ, panic had taken over the feelings in which she alone was to blame for everything.

The words which she had spoken to her Ma in anger before she had left to go undercover, to Amy it was her karma. She had hated her Ma for going wishing her dead, but words of sorry came too late in her mind. Her Mom being kidnapped, the most constance thing in her life was taken, had been hurt and she blamed herself.

As though she was the poison behind it, as though she had been the person whom had hurt her Mom, there was nothing rational in her mind, no voice telling her it was not her fault. To Amy she had chosen between her parents, she loved and wanted one more than the other.

Her Ma had given birth to her, but yet the closeness she had with her Mom seemed to overpower everything and she did not understand. Did she truly hate her Ma? Had she truly meant the words she had said in anger and confusion.

The pounding on the door continued but she was lost, so lost in her mind, it had taken over. She wanted to feel numb; she wanted the feelings to subside so she could breathe, so the voices that reminded her of how much her parents hated her would stop. Everything could be still; she had blamed herself for what happened with her Father and no matter what anyone said, she would always blame herself.

The reason she blamed herself was mainly because if she took all the blame in, if she punished herself, no one else could hurt her. Control, it was about control. Being able to control one part of her life while everything else seemed to fall apart at the seams, her world crashed down around her.

Her Mom was safe, but yet it was to Amy as though she was hiding which somewhere deep down she knew was not true, but as the blackness over took her mind, she had caused this. She had set the wheels in motion, she wanted so badly to know what had happened to see some emotion any type of emotion but instead there was nothing.

The only time she heard it or saw it was at night when her Mom would scream for it to stop, scream for her to run. Then the silence came, as she would watch her Mom shake in her Ma's arm, knowing that there was nothing anybody could do. Amy managed to hide her nightmares, she had not slept properly since JJ had been taken, and the only time she had truly slept was when her Ma had come home.

Each night since her Mom had come back, Amy would lie awake listening, hearing the tears, which came from the bedroom. She would sneak in at some point in the night and curl up with her Mom but it was not the same. Nothing was the same as before, and she hid it so well.

Not one of them had noticed that she was drowning that she was barely keeping her head above the water. She was just holding on by a thread, but her grasp was faltering, it was wavering. In addition, talking today had pushed her over the edge as she allowed the water to fully take her, in Amy's mind if she was not here her Mom and Ma would no longer hurt.

The pain inside her was like a vice and each time she thought about them and what they had been through, she feared what would befall her brother and her unborn sibling if she were still here. Would something bad happen to them if she was around, would it be safer for them all if she was no longer near them, no longer in her life.

The doctor had told her that her feelings were quite normal, but that had then planted the little seed, which was eating at her that her thoughts were true, that the guilt she had was true that her Mom and Ma blamed her. That everything which had happened in her life so far was her fault and now it had been planted she had allowed the darkness to take over.

That they would be better off if she was not around, they would be safe. Her family would be safe from harm if she were not here. In addition, no matter how irrational it was, her mind made her believe it.

* * *

Emily tried the door again still unable to budge it, she looked sadly at her wife knowing if she was to use her full strength she could harm their unborn child, she gave JJ a soft smile as she spoke.

"Jen, ring Morgan he will be able to open this door" Emily said softly as she shouted Amy's name again trying desperately to get some kind of response. She would not even mind if Amy was screaming at her, shouting obscene words at her it would mean that her daughter was okay, that her baby was okay.

The silence was crippling them both, allowing fear to take over as Emily pounded harder on the door causing her hand to become red, she knew it would take Morgan at least fifteen minutes to get here and she prayed in the back of her mind that it wouldn't be too late.

"Sweetheart, open the door please" Emily tried again, as the emotions laid thickly in her voice, the fear of what was going through her daughters mind, the worry of not knowing what had happened inside that doctors office played on her mind. For the first time in a year now, she had no clue of what her daughter was thinking or feeling.

They had all told Amy a long time ago that no matter how bad things felt or how bad things became in her mind to talk to them, to tell them, that they would never judge her they would only try to help and it had worked, or so Emily had thought.

"He is five minutes away" JJ said as she made her way towards Emily "Anything?" she asked as she looked at Emily, who now had tears lacing her eyes.

"Nothing" she replied in a hushed voice.

* * *

The heavy footfalls could be heard coming up the stairs, Morgan looked at them both their expression the same he gave them a slight nod, not asking any questions as to why Amy had locked herself away.

"I think her drawers are behind the door" JJ said as she looked at him sadly, he could only nod.

"Want me to knock first?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. Both Emily and JJ shook their heads, if they could not get through to Amy no one could.

The first few attempts Morgan made were not enough to budge the door, he looked for an unspoken permission to kick the door in, grateful as Emily just nodded, it took him a few attempts with his foot and the use of his shoulders as the hinges gave way on the door, the frame cracking slightly as the force moved the drawers just enough so JJ could squeeze through.

JJ stood in shock for a moment as Morgan pushed the door the rest of the way open.

"AMY!" JJ shouted as she took in the fullness of what laid in front of her.

"I'll ring an ambulance," Morgan said as he too looked on.


	30. Chapter 30

**Location: Prentiss Household**

**Time: 17.28**

Emily kept her arms firmly around Amy, rocking her slightly as she tried desperately to stem the flow of blood, her heart was breaking again. How had she not seen this, how had she not seen the signs that Amy was not coping. That her own child had become trapped inside herself again.

They both had thought these days were behind them, yes Amy would sometimes cut or hide how she truly was feeling but nothing as bad as this, nothing as bad as her child lying motionless in her arms, though she was breathing, there was a blank expression across her face as though the light which once filled her face, her eyes was gone. They were powerless.

"Oh baby" JJ whispered as she sat next to Emily her fingers running gently through Amy's hair as Morgan stood on watching.

"ETA five minutes" he said softly, Emily could only nod as she placed soft kisses on Amy's head

"Morgan can you ring Casey?" JJ asked though her eyes never left Amy.

"Sure, you need anything else?" Morgan asked softly from the doorway.

Emily's voice shook as she spoke "Cloth out the medical cabernet" with that Morgan made his way into the bathroom to get the cloth, within a few seconds he was back.

"I will go and wait downstairs for them"

Emily looked up at him sadly "Thank you"

"Oh Amy why didn't you come to us" Emily whispered as she placed the cloth over her wrist to help stop the bleeding, JJ gently cupped her cheek.

"She will be okay Emily" JJ tried to reassure her.

"How can this be okay Jen, how did we not see this was coming, how on earth did I miss the signs" Emily said as tears slipped down her cheek.

"How did I not see she was in so much pain, I've failed her again Jen, I've failed her just like I failed to protect her from her father" Emily said.

JJ could only give a half smile as she looked into broken chocolate eyes, "You haven't failed her Emily not now and you didn't fail her before, her father is ill Emily, you couldn't have stopped it and" JJ paused "and we haven't failed her now," JJ said. Emily could only nod.

It seemed like hours before the medics arrived, as they entered the room, "Ma'am," one of the medics said softly as he knelt down at the side of both women. Amy never moved too trapped in her mind, to wrap up in her own blame for the things that had happened of the things that had gone wrong, the pain she felt she had caused.

"Sorry mommy" Amy whispered out as the medics lifted her onto the stretcher.

"Shh, this isn't your fault Amy" Emily whispered as JJ kept hold of her daughter's hand.

The medic looked at the two ladies as he spoke, "Ma'am, I can only allow one"

Emily nodded as she spoke "Jen you go with her," JJ looked at her puzzled. Amy was her flesh and blood but yet here she was holding her daughters hand in the back of an ambulance.

* * *

Strong solid arms wrapped around Emily stomach she gratefully leaned into the frame which stood behind her "I've got you princess" Morgan whispered softly.

"How did I not see this Morgan, I'm her Mother! How did I not see this coming?" Emily said her voice broken. Morgan knew deep down there was no point pacifying her, and he knew his words might hurt more.

"Emily, you both have had so much going on, tell me is there a day that you have stopped worrying about JJ? Is there any moment in your mind where your sole focus is not on JJ. Amy knows JJ is hurt, she knows something is not right with her Mom, but the blame you are building inside will not help. You need to talk to her; you need to listen to her like you have done so many times before." Morgan said his voice firm and soft.

* * *

JJ kept her hand wrapped around Amy as they entered the hospital; she had been so quite since they had gotten into the ambulance. All Amy could do was stare at JJ, the doctor came just as Emily and Morgan arrived. They both knew the rest of the team would turn up shortly, they knew even without it being said that Morgan would have rung Hotch and he would have rung everyone else.

The doctor gave a kind reassuring look at JJ and Emily before his eyes fell onto Amy. "My name is Doctor Hill," Emily nodded slightly "How old are you Amy?" the doctor asked his full attention on the young girl. Yet she remind silent her eyes still locked onto JJ's form.

"Would you mind giving us a moment, I would like to talk to Amy alone" the Doctor requested, though by his tone it wasn't one that said he was going to give them a choice.

They all waited outside, "Has she said anything more?" Emily asked as she wrapped her arms around JJ.

"Nothing" JJ replied as she buried her head into Emily's neck.

"I'll go and get us all a coffee," Morgan said wanting to give the women some privacy.

"Make mine a tea, please" Emily said as she rubbed JJ's back.

* * *

The Doctor took the seat next to the bed, he could already tell by the blank expression on her face that she would have to be admitted, but he would try to get her to speak even if it was just for her to tell him to go away, he had dealt with children like Amy many times before.

"Amy, how old are you?" he asked again, the question was less intrusive than the others which he needed to ask, the last thing any Doctor wanted was to have a child committed but he could already tell that Amy would have to be, if she wouldn't talk to him or her Mother.

Amy looked at him blankly her voice full of tears as she spoke "I want my Mom" it came out in more of a whisper, the doctor nodded slightly as he rose, he knew there was little point in trying to get her to talk, the door closed softly behind him as he walked out of the room to speak to her Mom.

* * *

He looked at the blonde before his eyes fell on to the brunette woman, "Sorry, which one of you is Amy's Mom?" Emily smiled, they had been use to this, though Amy looked like Emily she would cling to JJ when something was wrong or she was ill.

"We are both her parents," Emily said slightly firmer than she meant to. The doctor nodded slightly embarrassed.

"She is asking for you, but before you go in can I speak with you both in private," he said kindly. His arm extended towards the small relatives room.

Emily and JJ took the seat opposite the doctor, he gave a reassuring smile. "Amy seems to be in a catatonic state right now, do you know what may have caused" he stumbled slightly as he spoke.

"I took her to see her therapist today, and since we left her office she hasn't spoken, locked herself in her bedroom an" Emily stopped as tears welled in her eyes.

"Amy barricaded herself in her room, we had to break the door in to get in and when we finally got in we found her in the state she is in now." JJ said in a rushed breath.

The doctor nodded "Does Amy have any mental health problems," he asked kindly trying to get a better picture of the young girl.

"Amy has been self-harming around five years, we thought we had managed to control the" Emily could not think of the words she needed.

"I think we may need to think about keeping her in so we can monitor her and find out the root cause of the problem, I know this may be hard for you both, but I need to put Amy's safety first. And right now she is a danger to herself" he gave a sad but kind smile.

"You want to have her committed?" JJ asked in slight shock, she knew if the hospital committed her it would go on her record and it could in fact cause problems when she got older and applied for college and jobs and the medical insurance could be hard for her to get.

"We may need to think about that, but for now I feel we should just keep her in overnight and see how she is in the morning" he said kindly.

"If it comes down to Amy staying in longer can we have her committed and would it keep it off her record,"

The doctor smile "I will have a look into that for you" he said with an understanding tone.


	31. Chapter 31

**Location: Hospital**

**Day & Time: Sunday, 13.04**

JJ walked in to the room slowly her eyes fully on Amy's form; Amy's eyes seemed to track her as she moved closer to the bed. "Oh sweetheart" JJ said softly as she took the seat next to Amy's bed, her hand automatically grasping towards Amy's.

"Mommy" Amy said her voice full of unshed tears.

"I'm here darling," JJ, said softly reaching out her hand, the movement seemed to get a full response as Amy grabbed on tightly to JJ's hand. Their eyes locked together as words seemed to fail JJ, her heart broke slightly as she stared lovingly in to light chocolate eyes, "Talk to me darling" JJ said softly.

Amy was silent for a moment as she began to find her voice slightly "Are you mad?" Amy asked her eyes held a slight fear as they looked into crystal blue orbs.

"No princess, I am not mad nor is your Ma, we are just worried," JJ said honestly.

Amy could only nod slightly. "I….Is...I..." Amy stumbled slightly over her words "My fault?" the words seemed to hit JJ like a ten-ton brick shocking her slightly.

"What your fault?" she couldn't help but ask, though on some level she knew what she meant but she wanted Amy to voice it. She needed her daughter to voice what she was feeling inside. It would only be then that they could work through everything and help her.

"Ma leaves, and then you go and get hurt" Amy said her voice weak and tearful as she spoke. JJ cupped her cheek rubbing it softly.

"No baby this isn't your fault, none of what has happened is your fault." JJ said honestly. "Your Ma didn't want to leave, she never wanted to go away, and as for what happened" JJ paused unable to get her words out, the painful memories she was unable to deal with.

The hurt and anger she felt for not being able to protect herself. The fear of them hurting her family nearly overwhelmed her. "Sorry" Amy said sadly, as she watched her Moms face drop ever so slightly.

Finally, JJ found her voice though the words wavered and quite as she spoke "Don't you ever think what happened to me was your fault. The only people responsible for that are them, no one else. Do you understand?" Amy nodded slightly as she watched a single tear fall from her Moms eye.

Taking comfort in her Mom being at her side, she leaned in closer as she closed her eyes. JJ kissed her brow as Amy's breathing slowed, whispering softly as Amy began to drift off in to sleep.

"Never think we blame you baby, you are wanted, needed and loved by so many people" JJ's voice was so soft and gentle.

She stayed watching Amy drift off into a deeper sleep before she moved slightly heading out of the room, to where the team and her wife were waiting.

* * *

Before Emily had chance to speak the trembling, worried voice of Garcia echoed the room "How is my little girl?" Garcia asked as she headed straight towards JJ. Emily knew she meant well but only she could tell that her wife was only hanging on by a thread as she cut in-between them causing Garcia to pull up short.

"Sleeping" was all JJ could say as strong slender arms wrapped around her in comfort. JJ gratefully buried her head into Emily's neck taking as much comfort as she could.

"Shh, I've got you darling" Emily whispered as her lips rested against the top of JJ's head, allowing her the comfort she needed.

* * *

The peacefulness, which sleep offered, took hold of Amy fully as her mind became slightly blank her eyes twitched slightly as the beginnings of a dream took hold.

The air seemed fresher, though everything else was as she remembered the small two-storey house on the outskirts of DC; it was their first year in this state her Mom had moved due to a transfer for the FBI, the BAU. She knew her Mom was excited by the move, the once shell of her Mom had gone and been replaced with a slight spring in her step, her eyes seemed to glow more than they had in years.

Her father stood in front of the big bay window, all Amy could do was smile sadly. He was not like normal dads, he never really interacted with her only sometimes, but Emily had taught her from a young age that her daddy was poorly but she still longed for her daddy to interact with her, to say something to her. For him to even say that he loved her, but nothing came, it never did.

Amy would often look into his eyes and wonder if he was truly there, or if he was just there in body, she heard him some nights shouting, and she would hear her Mom trying to calm him. Nothing calmed him really other than the pills he would take. Amy missed him when he was living with them and missed him more after he went away, Casey came every day to take care of her, she had been with them for years, and it was the one constance in her life. Casey had been there from the moment she was born. Looked after her when her Mom had to go away for work. Amy would often joke and say it is like having two Mom's.

The smell of pinewood took over her senses as she continued to watch from afar. This was her memory her mind taking her back to when things changed to when the fragments of her mind started to split, where the emotions and feelings she had inside shattered. It was here in this moment in this one memory that everything changed not only for her father but for her as well.

Amy had known things had changed for her Mom as well, but what happened in those hours of her Mom going to work changed everything nothing would be the same again.

They had been here for a few months, her father was becoming more vacant which Amy never thought it could be possible but he was, her Mom could no longer calm him and Casey had now moved in to help take care of Amy.

Her Mom had left the house at 07.26 that morning, kissing them both goodbye before she set out for work, neither Amy or Casey knew if she would be home that night for dinner, her job was more unpredictable than it was when she worked for Interpol. Her father did not even seem to register anything or anyone now, Amy had watched on in horror one night as his fist connected with her Moms face, it was the first time Amy had felt any type of fear towards him. But now it was there that one action that she witnessed taught her to fear him.

He stayed in the front room so he was able to look outside and to see the world in which he could not connect with. They left him alone, not because they wanted to but because it was safer, Casey had told her his medication had been altered and hopefully they would take effect within the next few weeks so for now Amy gave him as much room as he needed. She knew he was not well, he had always been poorly and even then, she could not remember a time when he was not ill.

Casey was in the laundry room sorting the clothes out into piles and placing some in the dryer. Amy had been left in the backroom to watch cartoons. The door creaked slightly as the figure walked in, Amy's eyes became slightly wide as she looked in shock, not because of who had entered the room but because of what he said.

"You stole my baby, you murdered my baby" his voice seemed to bellow through the house, the anger held in each word that was spoken sent waves of fear though Amy's body as she looked blankly at him. Before anything had registered, he had made it over to her picking her up and forcefully shoving her against the wall, her feet inches off the ground.

The commotion had caused Casey to run into the room, but she too looked on in shock. His voice bellowed again, "I'll make you pay" he spat out as his hand moved holding Amy in place. Though Amy was frozen in fear, he never spoke, he never even acknowledged her, but now, now he had his hands around her waist holding her against the wall, her feet unable to find safety of the floor, she was pinned, and in his hands.

If she hadn't of seen him strike Emily she wouldn't be as frightened as she was now, her body shook as his grip tightened on one hand, she watched as Casey tried to get his attention but it was useless, nothing was going to get him away from Amy. Casey doing the only thing she knew was to ring Emily and then the police knowing that one of them would get here first but in truth, she prayed it was Emily for John's sake more than anything.

He wasn't a violent man, he had never in the 8 years she had known them both seen him show any signs of violence, but as he got older his illness began to shine through, though he was always loving towards Emily and he never minded Casey being around but once Amy had been born he had become worse. A year after Amy was born he suffered a psychotic break , the loving and caring man they had both known was gone he never came back to them fully and Amy had never seen the caring side of him. Just the blank void that he had become.

He moved his free hand bringing it up to Amy's neck, Casey screamed and begged him to stop, she begged him to understand that, that little girl he had in his hands was his daughter. His now six-year-old petrified daughter, his hand wrapped around Amy's neck, but not tight, enough to scare her even more than she was. The warmth trickled down her legs as he bellowed again, her eyes filled with tears, the bang was the last thing she remembered, she felt warm loving arms around her and a scent she knew.

"Mommy" Amy cried out her body still shock with fear.

She watched on as her daddy was strapped to white gurney his eyes seemed more vacant than she had ever noticed, his hand seemed to reach out towards her, but now Amy feared him, she feared the man she only knew as daddy.

The team laced the walls of their backroom; Amy again hid herself into Emily more. She placed a soft kiss on Amy's cheek before she spoke softly "Princess you’re safe I promise" Amy was still in slight shock as she tried to get closer to her Mom. The movement at the side made her jump and cling more to Emily than ever.

"I found some clean clothes Emily" the voice said, the softness held in each spoken word caused Amy to pull back slightly, light brown frightened eyes locked with caring soft blue crystal orbs. JJ smiled softly at Amy. Emily placed her lips against her daughter before she spoke softly to her anything to try and calm her down slightly.

"This is JJ princess," Amy seemed to look at JJ in awe, her eyes had completely taken her in and for the first time since her dad had come into the room, she felt safe, she felt safe just having her Mom's arms wrapped around her.

This was the first time the team had been to Emily's home, they all knew she had a family and that her partner was ill, but here they were standing strong next to a woman they had only just began to know. Each lining the walls as though they were protecting them, though Amy's light brown eyes focused solely on JJ.

* * *

It was also the first memory Amy had of her Mom, and each time since then she would look into her crystal blue eyes and know she was safe. It had been a hard seven years for Amy, her father had been placed into a home that looked after the mentally ill, but she never wanted to see him and never really spoke about him.


	32. Chapter 32

**Location: Hospital**

**Day & Time: Monday, 07.59**

Emily stood in the doorway watching Amy sleep, she had been standing there for the past half an hour just watching her daughter and taking comfort in the fact that her little girl was safe. She looked so peaceful, she watched as her eyelids fluttered.

Emily let out a soft sigh as slender arms wrapped around her waist. "She will be okay Em," JJ said softly resting her chin on Emily's shoulder.

"How can this be okay, our daughter is lying in a hospital bed, she is so far away from us Jen. She use to come to us and talk to us. Now look at her, bandages on her wrists, what if we hadn't have gotten into her room when we had Jen," Emily said her voice full of raw emotions as she gratefully took comfort from her wife.

"She will be okay because she has us, she will talk in time Emily. But right now she thinks we are mad at her, she thinks everything is her fault." Emily frowned slightly as she turned around to look straight into JJ's eyes.

"Who the hell planted that seed in her head?" it was more of a question to herself than to JJ.

JJ cupped her cheek softly as she placed a soft kiss on her lips. "Go and talk to her Emily, she needs you right now" JJ's voice was so soft and gentle as she spoke.

"She needs you to Jen" Emily said softly.

JJ smiled and nodded "I know but I think she may open up to you right now more than me. Let her know she hasn't lost you."

* * *

Emily made her way to the side of the bed sitting into the chair; she ran her fingers softly through Amy's hair, as her heart broke for her daughter. She knew that a lot of damage had been done to her young mind, living with her father was hard on them both, she had known that Amy longed for her father to show her any type of affection, but the last thing she would ever remember about the man that helped her come into this world, was a man full of hate, anger and violence.

Emily knew she could not change the past and that she could only help Amy heal from it all. Amy had started self-harming a year after her father had been taken away, she had so much hurt and fear inside her that she did not know how to handle or talk about it. The day Emily had found her, her heart broke. There was nothing she could do unless Amy asked for it, she would never push her. The help was offered and Amy had taken it.

JJ had been in her life since the day that John had been taken away, and within a year of her being with the BAU Emily had started a relationship with JJ, Amy's bond only grew stronger with JJ as the months went on, and as the years passed it had become stronger, it was as though JJ had been a part of their lives forever.

Emily was that lost in thought that she had not noticed light brown eyes looking at her, the soft raspy voice of her daughter pulled her from her memories "Mommy" Amy said softly as she leaned more into Emily's hand. "I'm sorry," she whispered as Emily gave her a soft smile.

"You my sweet girl have nothing to be sorry for" Emily said gentle as she wrapped her arms around Amy's form.

"I love you so much Amy," Emily whispered as she placed a soft kiss on her cheek. "Do you know how brave and strong you are?" Emily asked as she moved to sit on the bed so Amy could curl into her.

Amy rested her head upon Emily's chest taking as much comfort as she could from her mother. "I'm not" Amy let out in a choked breath.

"You are darling, look how far you've come, look at how strong you are." Amy shook her head slightly, not believing what her Mother was saying.

Emily could not help but smile softly at her. "You my darling are so strong, I don't know of anyone who could have held everything together like you have, you looked after your baby brother for all that time while your Mom was missing, you are the reason I got the message to come home. You did that baby no one else, I am so proud to call you my daughter princess," Emily said as she pulled Amy close. "I love you so much baby."

Amy nodded as she spoke sadly her head never moving as she tried to get even closer to Emily. "It's my fault mom went missing."

Emily's eyes went slightly wide as she held Amy more tightly "No, darling it isn't" she said firmly.

"But if I hadn't of said that to you, then none of this would have happened" Emily frowned slightly.

"I want you to listen to me Amy okay." Emily said more firmly than she meant to. "You had every right to be angry with me for going away again, I understood why you said it, yes it hurt but I know you were hurting more." Emily swallowed slightly. "Me having to go undercover was not yours or Mom's fault okay, it is just something that happens in this line of work, and I fully understand why you were so angry and also so frightened and there is nothing wrong with that."

Emily paused for a moment "As for your Mom going missing, that would have happened even if I was here, something's in life you can't control, you can only control how you deal with it,"

Amy cut her off slightly "But if I hadn't have said I didn't know where she was, he wouldn't have gone" Amy stopped as she buried her head on Emily's chest trying to stop the tears that were threatening to over flow.

"No darling, nothing you said or did would have changed what has happened. I know you are worried about your Mom, we all are and the only thing we can do is be there for her and show her how much we love her. That is all anyone can do, the love we have for her helps her more than anything in this world does. More than any words which can be spoken." Emily smiled sadly, as she kissed the top of Amy's head. "Your mom would lay her life down for you, and so would I. She held on for you darling, for us and now we just have to help her heal, and I know that she will heal in time with our help." Amy nodded as Emily spoke softly.

"You have had so much happen to you in such a short period of time darling and you are coping the only way you know how to. And I am so proud of you for that, you have come so far Amy, you and Henry mean the world to both your Mom and me, we do not blame you for anything that has happened. I just wish you felt you could come to one of us," Emily said honestly, as she pulled Amy closer.

"You have so much going on though Ma," Amy said in a choked up breath.

"Things will always be going on; there will be always something we are dealing with. However, no matter what is going on in our lives you and Henry come first. You and Henry are the reason we do the job, which we do. We both want to make this world a little safer for you both."

Amy nodded slightly "What about peanut?"

Emily couldn't help but chuckle, "Peanut is going to have a very protective sister and someone who is going to set them an extremely good example and someone they can look up to, just like Henry looks up to you now."

Emily kissed the top of her head "You darling have so much to look forward to, and so many people love you. And no matter what happens or how you are able to cope with everything, I need you to know that both your Mom and I, will stand at your side through everything and will always be here for you to talk to."

Amy nodded against her as she spoke "I want go home Mommy."

Emily could not help the slight laugh that let her lips "You truly are my child" Amy let out a snigger and Emily could tell it was not faked or put on for show it was a genuine reaction. "I'll see what I can do, but I can't promise" Emily said softly. "Let me go and see if I can find a doctor and see about getting you home. Do you want me to get Mom to come in?" Emily asked softly.

Amy shook her head slightly "Can I just have some me time Ma, please?" Amy asked.

"You my darling can have anything you like, but if you want one of us, we will be with a doctor trying to get them to let you home," Emily said as Amy sat up.

She stared in too deep chocolate eyes as she spoke "I am sorry Ma"

Emily smile at her softly "Nothing to be sorry for darling" with that Emily placed a kiss on her cheek before getting off the bed, just as she went to open the door she turned to look at Amy. "We aren't going anywhere darling, you will always be able to get hold of us, no matter what," Emily could not promise but for now, it was enough.

* * *

Emily made her way into the familiar waiting room, she was slightly shocked to see the whole team in the room, but it also warmed her heart, no matter what their team, their family would always be there. Not just for JJ and Emily but for their family as well.

Her eyes fell onto JJ, as she made her way over to her wrapping her arms around her, her fingers ran through her hair gently, "Amy wants to come home" Emily said softly.

JJ could not help the chuckle as she shook her head "She truly is a Prentiss" JJ said, a lightness took over her voice, it was not dull or as emotionless as it had been.

"Can we go and see her Emily?" the concerned voice of Garcia came from behind her.

"Amy doesn't want to see anyone right now Pen, she just wants some alone time," Emily said as she looked back at JJ. "I told her we'd go and find a doctor and see about taking her home. JJ nodded as she smiled.

They both knew that Garcia's feelings had been hurt slightly. Emily turned back looking at her friend. "Once we find out if she can come home, you all are welcome to come over," Emily said sincerely.

* * *

They left the team in the waiting room as they went in search to find the doctor, Emily knew it was a long shot but a tiny part of her had hope that they would allow Amy home. Emily spotted one of the senior nurses she looked at JJ and gave her a half smile as they made their way over. "Excuse me Ma'am?" Emily said softly.

"Yes?" Nurse Williams answered.

"Would it be possible to speak to someone regarding our daughter," the nurse looked at them both in with a concerned look upon her face.

"Your daughter?" she asked unsure which child they woman was speaking about. Unfortunately, she had twenty patients to keep an eye on and out of the twenty, fifteen were children.

"Amy Prentiss" JJ said with a soft smile on her face, though she seemed to be hiding slightly behind Emily.

The nurse smiled sweetly at them both, "I will look over her chart and speak to the doctor," nurse Williams replied. There was a sadness held in her eyes but neither one of them wanted to ask.

"We will be in the waiting room," Emily said kindly.

"I will come and find you once I have spoken to her doctor." JJ gave a slight nod before they both headed back to the waiting room.

"Emily, do you" Emily smirked as she placed her arm around JJ's waist.

"Go and see her, she may still want to be left alone though, but I think she could do with seeing her Mom" Emily said as she kissed the top of JJ's head.

* * *

Emily had made her way back to the waiting room, while JJ had gone into Amy's room, she seemed to have been waiting hours, and Emily had sent the team home, telling them if they wanted to meet them at hers that Casey would let them in.

JJ smiled as she looked at Amy, "Mom" Amy said sadly as JJ made her way further into the room.

"Do you mind if I come in darling" JJ said softly as Amy nodded, they waited for the doctor or Emily to come into the room with news. JJ sat on the bed enabling Amy to curl into her, "I love you princess" JJ said softly as she kissed her forehead, Amy nodded as she took in the comfort that her Mom offered.

* * *

**Location: Prentiss Household**

**Time: 13.07**

The door opened slowly, JJ had her arm firmly around Amy as they made their way in. They could not help but smile as they saw the banner above the doorway which said welcome home. Even though Amy had only been in hospital for one day, the team wanted to do something nice for her. Henry had begged once the team had all gathered in their home, wanting to do something nice for his sister.

Casey had told him Amy was poorly, and once the team had arrived and once Emily had told them Amy was allowed home. Rossi had told Henry who was now asleep in his arms. Morgan gave a soft caring smile before Garcia came gushing over Amy. "Henry's idea" Morgan said as Garcia rushed passed him.

Her arms flying around Amy not giving any of them a chance to bypass her. "I am so glad your home munchkin" Garcia said her voice seemed to be filled with unshed tears, as Amy wrapped her arms around her favourite Aunt. Amy never really spoke much only nodded against her.

Emily could not help laugh once Garcia had finally put her daughter down. They both watched as she made her way over to Rossi, he smile softly at her, "Glad they let you home kiddo" he said as he ruffled her hair slightly.

"Can I take him?" Amy said as her hands reached up for Henry.

Her fingers ran softly through his blonde locks as she spoke. "You coming to me buddy" his eyes half opened hearing the familiar voice of his sister.

"Amy" he said his voice full of sleep as he half opened his eyes looking straight at Amy.

"Come on buddy, I need a Henry hug" Amy said softly.

Even though his whole body seemed full of sleep, he seemed to fling himself into Amy's arms, his face burring against her neck, as Amy held onto him tight. "Don’t leave me" Henry said.

Amy couldn't help but chuckle slightly "Never little man" she promised as she made her way to the den so he could settle against her.

"She is so good with him," Hotch said as he stood next to Emily.

"Only when they are not fighting," Emily said with a slight chuckle. Casey had made a buffet for lunch; she made her way over to Emily and JJ.

"How is she doing?" Casey asked.

"We have a long road ahead, but I think and know she will get through this." Emily said honestly. Even though they were surrounded with people they loved and people, who loved them, JJ could not settle. Emily looked at her sadly before she made her way over to her wife. She gave Garcia a soft smile before standing next to JJ who seemed to lean into her body knowing who it was without even looking.

"I've got you darling," Emily whispered softly as she wrapped her arms around JJ offering her the much need strength that the blonde needed. Emily knew it hurt the team, but JJ just could not settle around them, she had only just settled fully around Emily and the children, but as for anyone else she just could not settle fully.

"Where's Amy?" JJ asked as Garcia seemed to go quite.

"She is still in the den with Henry" JJ nodded, "Why don't you go and check that they are both still alive and haven't killed each other yet" Emily said lightly.


	33. Chapter 33

**Location: Prentiss Household**

**Day & Time: Friday, 20.47**

Amy had been home a few days and she seemed to be doing slightly better, Emily had increased her appointments so now Amy was seeing her therapist twice a week, Emily had told her that when she felt slightly better her appointments would change back to once a week.

Though now Emily's main concern was Jennifer, she had known her wife had not been coping, the nightmares were becoming worse, she looked so tired and no matter how much sleep she had Jennifer just seemed worn out, and this worried Emily more than anything did. JJ was due back in work Monday. However, the fear she had about leaving her wife took hold.

JJ lay next to Emily, her head in Emily's lap as she drifted off; it was all she was doing these days. Emily turned the volume down slightly on the TV before asking Amy to put Henry to bed for her. Emily ran her fingers through JJ's hair as she placed a kiss on Henry's cheek bidding him good night.

"I wish I knew how to help you darling" Emily whispered as she continued to run her fingers through JJ's hair, "I hate that I was unable to protect you Jennifer" Emily let out a soft sigh as she looked at her wife's sleeping form.

"Ma," Amy said softly from the doorway causing Emily to turn her head slightly. "Will Mom be okay?" she asked, Emily could see the worry, which was held, in her daughters eyes.

Not wanting to distress Amy she settled on a half-truth and one that she wished she could believe herself, "She will be, just right now she needs our understanding and love, remember what I said while you was in hospital" Emily half asked to which Amy nodded. "Just show her how much you love her princess; it will do more good than any words we can offer" Emily said, even though Emily was truthful in what she was saying she was having a hard time believing it herself. She just prayed that she would get her wife back, but for now, all Emily could do was to stay strong and hold her family together.

"I'm going to go bed Ma," Amy said as she walked over to give her Ma a kiss.

"Night princess, love you," Emily said softly as she looked into light brown eyes.

"Love you too Ma, Goodnight" Amy whispered so not to disturb her Mom.

Emily had been sat watching JJ for the past hour, her body tired and longing to crawl into bed, she began the gentle task of waking JJ, hoping not to startle her. "Jen," Emily said softly she could not help but chuckle as JJ's head moved against her lap, "Jen darling, time to wake up so we can go to bed baby" Emily said slightly louder. JJ grumbled slightly, it had been the first time in weeks she had managed to sleep without nightmares plaguing her mind. She moved slightly against Emily, Emily wrapped her arms around her knowing she was still in the mists of a dream.

JJ couldn't help the slight whimper that came from her lips as Emily wrapped her arms around her, "Don't hurt her" JJ mumbled.

"No one will hurt her darling" Emily whispered as she tried to wake her again, it had always been a task to wake JJ in a morning, but now Emily did it with more care than ever the slightest wrong move or word would send JJ straight into the mist of a nightmare or sheer panic would engulf her mind.

It always broken Emily's heart, part of her wished JJ would open up to her, the other part of her did not want to know what JJ had been through. Not because she did not care, but because she knew her heart would break more.

She struggled to believe that she could hear Emily's voice, even though each day was proof that it was not all a dream and that her mind was not just playing some cruel trick on her, though sometimes the nightmares won and they would take her into the worst parts that had happened.

Emily's voice seemed to be louder now as her eyelids flutter, it was not often that Emily used her firm voice, that edge that always told her to either back off slightly when she would close herself off if a case hit too close to home, or when her anger got the better of her. JJ had always thought that her tongue was worse than anything was, it was sharp enough to make some unsubs crack or realise it was a useless game, and that she could not me played.

"Emily." JJ let out in a whimper.

"Shh, baby I'm right here, wake up darling, come back to me my sweet girl" her voice now seemed softer the soft loving sound that she knew, the softness that no one saw apart from their family. Slowly JJ's eyes began to flutter open, the haze of sleep creating a slight haze in her eyes as her eyes locked with Emily.

"Hey darling," Emily said with an air of caution, her fingers gently ran through JJ's hair lovingly as the haze of sleep clear, "Would you like a coffee? Or shall we just go upstairs to bed" Emily said through a yawn.

JJ smiled at her, "I think I best make my own and you an herbal tea, I don't think your stomach can handle the smell of coffee," JJ said as she began to move.

JJ rubbed her eyes as she sat up, her body screamed for sleep for some semblance of sleep, but no matter how much sleep she had, it never seemed to clear the tiredness she felt. "Can we just go to bed?" JJ asked, she looked at Emily fully, dark black rings surround her eyes, and her skin seemed to be slightly paler than normal. It was in that moment that JJ truly saw how little sleep Emily was having.

* * *

JJ slowly made her way upstairs, as she waited for Emily to come upstairs she went to check on both children. JJ stood leaning up against the doorframe as she watched Amy sleeping peacefully, JJ had never had so much fear over her daughter before, but now she was scared. She was uncomfortable in her own skin, and in their home, she never felt safe, always on edge. In addition, no matter how tightly Emily held her the fear was at the forefront of her mind. She just prayed that once they moved everything else would settle back down.

She heard the soft footfall of Emily as she came up the stairs, "Ready darling" Emily said softly as she held out her hand, JJ had yet to get changed in front of Emily, the sheer thought of her seeing her damaged body scared her, she was scared Emily would turn away and leave her. It was the same fear Emily had after Doyle but this was amplified.

Every time she looked at her chest all she saw were the bars connected to the chains, her core still slightly tender, the scars from where the cuffs had been were healing now, her own body disgusted her.

Emily lay on the bed waiting for JJ to reappear, each night she would hold her watch her slip off into sleep and prayed the nightmares would fade away, some nights JJ managed to sleep through, though Emily could hear the slight whimpers coming from JJ's sleeping form. Other nights she would scream begging them to leave her alone, each time it broke her heart, tearing her soul in two.

JJ had crawled into bed about fifteen minutes later easily settling into Emily's waiting arms, Emily's body flush against her back her arms tightly wrapped around her, holding her, giving her some sense of security. Though tonight Emily felt different, her body was slightly flushed against her, the small tell tails signs of a small bump could be felt, she could not help but smile to herself, and they were going to be parents again. They were going to bring another child into this world and it warmed her heart, but it also triggered something inside her, something she had been fighting and running from over the past few weeks of her being home.

JJ had yet to tell Emily everything; she had yet to give voice to what happened, she wondered if by talking about it she would deal slightly better. Just having one person who could understand her. In addition, it was in that moment her mouth opened and the soft words were spoken.

"I blame myself" the words were so full of emotion as Emily held her slightly tighter.

"None of this was your fault Jen," Emily whispered softly placing her lips against the back of her head as her fingers ran soothingly over her stomach.

Instead of stopping JJ carried on as though she had not heard Emily speak. "The first thing I remember was waking up in that room, tied to the bed. I could not fully make him out when he came in, the light felt so bright against my eyes. His hands touched everywhere." JJ let out in a chocked out breath.

Emily could only hold her offering comfort and the strength she needed, no matter how much hearing this tore her apart inside, the only thing she could do was to hold her closer and off the much needed comfort that she craved.

"He made me," her body shook slightly but this was something she needed to do, she wanted her wife to understand. "He forced my hand around his penis until her expelled himself over me" she paused again "I was grateful when the pain became too much and I was thrown into darkness, I couldn't remember him removing my clothes. I didn't even notice until his hands ran all over me."

The sobs wrecked her body as she tried to carry on "It hurt so badly when I felt him inside me" JJ closed her eyes as the memories came flooding back into her mind. "He always made me eat, and I was grateful even though it churned my stomach, I begged him to let me go, I begged him," JJ said as tears and sobs ripped through her body.

"The second he mentioned Amy, he threatened to take her Emily, her threatened to hurt my baby girl," Emily held her tighter reassuring her that Amy was okay but it fell on deaf ear and Emily knew it. "I let him do what he wanted, I let him rape me, and I let them do as they wanted, I couldn't let them near her Emily, and I just couldn't."

Tears pricked Emily's eyes as she tried to hold back the emotions but as she spoke the emotion was evident in her voice, "You protected her darling, and I am so proud of you for that, you are so strong darling" Emily was unsure if she was saying the right things, but nothing that happened to her beloved wife was right, the anger it made Emily feel inside her, she wanted to get hold of them both again just to inflict more pain, do everything to them that they had done to her wife.

"When he, it hurt so badly." JJ could not bring herself to say the words but there was one part that she hated herself for more than anything. "When he put that thing, I… My body got some sort of sick pleasure, how is that right, how could I feel pleasure from that."

Emily ran her fingers softly through JJ's hair as she spoke. "Darling you can't think like that, your body didn't betray you, and I don't think any less of you for any of this which has happened, it shows me how strong you really are. You survived Jennifer, you held on for me, for our children"

JJ let out a half chuckle, "I'm not strong," she said so softly that Emily only just managed to hear it. "I had to pretend I enjoyed it, they took turns or they did it together, each time it felt as though I was being ripped in two, each time they entered me I had to moan, but sometimes it wasn't faked" JJ said as the sobs ripped from deep within and her body shook uncontrollably.

"Oh baby," Emily said in a slight whisper, she knew there were no words she could offer, she could only hold her and make her see that no matter what she wasn't going anywhere, no matter what happened, no matter what they had done to her or how her body had reacted. It didn't matter she had done everything she had to survive to be here back with her family, back with the people that loved her no matter what.

"It wasn't just them" JJ chocked out, the night his friends had come around they had seen her as a toy, someone they could use to their own sick twisted needs, each one entered her one or two at a time, the gag had been replaced with an o-shaped gag so they could enter her mouth her hands grasped around one of their penises, the four strange men were left to use her as a toy.

She had felt their essences run over her body, trickling down her legs, down her core, she had gaged when one of them had expelled himself in her mouth. She had felt one relieve himself inside her back passage, each and every part of her body had been destroyed, and it had been destroyed because they had made her dirty, they had ruined her body, and they had made her ashamed of her body and ashamed to allow Emily to see her naked form.

"I wanted to die; I wanted to give up, to give in. I just wanted it to stop" JJ said as the deep sobs shook her body as she tried to curl into Emily more.


	34. Chapter 34

**Location: Prentiss Household**

**Month & Time: May, Saturday 8.35**

The dark cloud that had hovered over JJ like a vice seemed to be shifting slightly; Garcia, Amy and JJ were all due to go house hunting in the afternoon allowing Emily to rest. However, Emily's mind seemed to mull over everything JJ had told her last night. Her heart ached; it had broken for her wife, though Emily would not admit it her mind was torn in to so many pieces that she could not settle.

The peace and calm she had come to know over the past year was gone, the mental scars of what she had done undercover was eating away at her, what her beloved wife had been through, the deep seated worry she still had over Amy's welfare had swallowed her whole.

She knew she couldn't allow anyone to see it as she built the walls more firmly around herself to the point she had begun to feel numb, everything hurt but she refused to allow anyone to see it.

The doctor's appointment worried her; the deep-seated fear that laced inside was too much for her to bear. She worried that her body would reject the life growing inside her, that she would be put through the sheer pain of losing another life again her body had suffered so much trauma, the abortion, when John had beaten her before she had transferred to the BAU, the car crash, the beatings and fights she had endured while on the job and then there was Ian Doyle.

Much to Emily's fashion, she blamed herself, she was riddled with guilt. Though she had told Amy that even if she were there, it would have happed, she did not believe it, she could and would have found her sooner, JJ would not have been alone in the parking lot after the case as she would have been at her side. There were so many possibilities but each one had Emily blaming herself.

She needed to be strong, she needed to hold her family together as she had done for so many years, and she could not imagine a time when she had allowed it to falter allowed her own fears to take over, she could not afford to break.

"Emily come on. Garcia will be here before we have even left for the doctors," JJ hollered up the stairs. Amy could not help but chuckle.

"Mom, I think she has gotten herself lost up there," Amy teased slightly.

JJ rolled her eyes slightly "Amy can you go and check she hasn't gotten lost" Amy chuckled as she made her way up the stairs.

Emily stood in front of the full lengthen mirror, lost in thought as her hand ran over the small bump that was now forming, in two days she would be in front of a panel of people telling her if she was able to keep her job. However, that was not what was playing on her mind as the tears slipped down her cheeks.

Amy knocked softly on the bedroom door before opening it, "Ma? Are you" Amy pulled up short as she looked at her Ma. "Ma?" Amy said again, but still all Emily could do was stare into the mirror.

"MOM" Amy yelled half hoping that her voice would get through to her Ma. However, Emily never even flinched.

JJ made her way upstairs, as she looked at her daughter "Really Amy, was there any need to shout like that" JJ half scolded. Amy's eyes fell on hers as she looked back into the bedroom.

"Ma," Amy said slightly worried. JJ's eyes fell onto Emily's form, she watched as Emily's fingers ghosted over the small bump, which was forming. JJ's eyes saddened as she watched her begin to trace the scar. As she caught sight of her face, she could see the tears, which were falling.

JJ turned to Amy," you go and wait downstairs we won't be long," JJ gave her a loving smile before walking over to Emily, slender fingers wrapped around Emily's stilling her movements, "Emily" JJ said softly knowing her wife was so deep in thought. It was nothing new for JJ though she had not seen Emily like this since the first week she had returned home.

Crystal blue eyes held deep chocolate eyes but Emily seemed to not register, she was so deep in thought, Emily closed her eyes slightly as JJ whisper into her ear.

"It will be alright Emily," JJ said softly, "This darling is meant to be" JJ said as she ran her fingers over Emily's cheek wiping the tears which flowed down her cheek.

Emily eyes finally met JJ's, "I can't lose another one Jen," Emily said sadly.

JJ gave her a warm loving smile, "I can't promise that darling, but what I can promise is that no matter what happens we will face it head on together, just like we have before. I love you so much Emily,"

Emily gave her a half smile "I love you too Jen" Emily said her voice thick with emotion.

"Come on we don't want to be late," JJ said kindly as her fingers intertwined with hers.

Emily nodded as she pulled her top down covering the small bump, JJ's hand rested against her stomach her fingers gently running over it as she spoke, "Emily, this little one is going to be loved, just like Amy and Henry," JJ said as she moved in front of Emily. "You need to stop thinking the worst darling and I know that is so hard but this is something we should treasure, it's a gift," JJ said as her lips met Emily's pulling her into a soft kiss.

It always seemed to amaze Amy how her parents could be strong for one another even when they had so much going on, even how much they were hurting they stood strong together and faced everything head on, she knew that her Mom was still healing and would still shy away from people but the second her Ma was at her side Amy could see the tension leave as though they gained strength off one another.

The soft footfalls on the stairs told her they both were coming down, she placed a coffee mug on the table for her Mom and a cup of tea on the table for her Ma, and she just hoped the smell of coffee did not have her running to the toilet.

JJ gave Amy a reassuring smile as they both entered the kitchen, "I've made you both a drink" Amy said as she smiled at them both.

"Thank you princess" Emily said softly as she took a seat, wrapping her fingers around the cup which laid in front of her.

"Where's Henry?" Emily asked as she took a sip of tea, she smiled slightly as it hit her tongue, though it didn't have the same effect as coffee she was just grateful that she was able to keep it down.

"In the den with Casey" Amy said as she placed a kiss on her Ma's cheek.

"Right we need to make a move or we are going to be late" JJ said as she placed both cups in the sink.

Emily smiled slightly "Do you think we will be able to find out the sex today?" Emily asked as she put her coat on before she went to say goodbye to both of her children.

"I think so, depending if peanut is cooperative" JJ replied in a chuckle.

It had taken a few scans before they found out the sex of Henry as each time he had his back to them for the scan and no matter how long they had waited or how much she poked and prodded her stomach he was just not responding. One month before JJ gave birth, they had finally found out what their baby was going to be, and JJ just prayed that the little one, which was growing inside her wife, was not as stubborn.

* * *

**Location: Doctors Office.**

**Time: 10.17**

They both counted themselves lucky that they wouldn't have to go to the hospital for scans or check-ups, the only time Emily would need to be in hospital was to give birth, and that had settled the dark haired profiler slightly.

The drive to the clinic had been quite, Emily's hand rested gently on JJ's leg, she couldn't help but smile, she knew that no matter what her family would be okay, though they were still healing her beloved wife was coming back to her.

Though Emily dreaded what Monday had install for JJ, she didn't like the idea of JJ going back to work without her, she worried deeply that she would become skittish or trapped in her mind, a case file could trigger all types of memories for her and because of that Emily's heart yearned for her wife to rethink or put it off until Emily had gotten the all clear to return.

They hadn't needed to wait long as the nurse called them both through, The soft tap on the door told them she had returned as JJ's soft voice filled the room "Come in" the door open as the Doctor walked in a soft smile on her face as she closed the door behind her.

"Right shall we see how the little one is and if I am able to depending on what position the baby is in you might be able to find out the sex if you would like.”

Emily and JJ responded together "we would like that" they both smiled as the Doctor lowered the gown down exposing her stomach.

"Right Emily this will feel cold on your skin" she smiled warmly at her as she placed the gel in her stomach. Emily's muscle's contracted under the coldness of the gel allowing her body get use to the unfamiliar sense as the doctor started the scan, a soft beating could be heard from the machine as Emily turned her face looking at the grainy screen "Is that" Emily muttered

The doctor looked at her smiling "That would be a very strong heartbeat, must take after you" she smiled as JJ smirked.

"God I hope it doesn't have your stubbornness" Emily rolled her eyes slightly as she fixated herself watching the screen in front of her.

"Are you able to tell" she asked as she watched the small thing inside her shift slightly.

The Doctor smiled softly at them both "I think this is a stubborn one doesn't seem to want to move"


	35. Chapter 35

**Location: Prentiss Household**

**Day & Time: Saturday, 10.27**

Emily could not help the broad smile, which lightened her eyes, the drive home seemed more relaxed and everything seemed to be falling into place, now all they needed to do was to find a house and get ready for a move. If Emily was honest she could not careless where they lived as long as they were together that was all that truly matter to her.

JJ studied her wife for a moment, for the first time in months something settled inside her, she did not feel as tainted or as dirty as she had done. She could not help but reach over the console placing her hand on the small bump. They knew they would have to tell the team soon, and JJ could not wait.

"Em, can I tell Pen? Please?" Emily could not help but chuckle hearing the life and lightness in Jennifer's voice something she had not heard for a long while.

Maybe this gift was going to help them both heal, help them put their demons to bed or at least to rest for a while, they could just envelope the joys of expecting a new life that would grace the world in a few months. Emily turned her head to look at her once they had stopped at the traffic lights.

"I want to say yes, but I also think we need to tell Hotch first and you know Garcia won't keep it to herself," Emily said slightly amused.

"But Emily, please" JJ almost begged.

Emily raised her eyebrow slightly at her, she could see and feel the excitement which was flowing off JJ in waves, she had never been able to say no to the blonde and as much as she wanted to try she just couldn't say no. Her wife eyes sparkled more than they had done in the past two years. There was life behind her eyes, something that had been lost ever since Emily had returned from the dead.

"Okay, I will ring Hotch first when we get home and ask him to call round while you are out with Amy and Garcia" Emily said as she ran her finger over JJ's lips. "I love you Jen."

Emily did not think it was possible as she took in the bright smile that shined across JJ's face; Emily chuckled to herself as the lights turned to green. "You are so easily pleased," Emily teased.

"That I am, and also you won't be able to hide that bump for much longer and the last thing I want is Morgan challenging you into a work out." JJ said with a slightly pointed look.

"Hey we aren't that bad." Emily mused. JJ could not help but stare at her in slight shock.

"Not that bad! Seriously Emily, last time you two trained, your back had bruises, let alone the cut lip and don't even get me started on your black eye!" JJ said in slight disbelief.

"He came worst off though" Emily chuckled.

"That isn't the point and you know it," JJ said firmly, though she could not help the smile that took over her. "Are you going to see if Morgan wants to call around while I'm out?" JJ asked as they pulled up in the driveway.

"I think Garcia already beat me to it," Emily said as she looked at the Humvee.

The tiny footfalls could be heard as Emily placed her key in the lock "So you ready for this?" JJ asked

"Which part being pounce on by our son or facing the firing squad better known as Garcia and Morgan" Emily teased as JJ opened the door.

"MAMA" Henry hollered as he ran into waiting arms, which were followed by Amy who was wrapping her arms around her Mom.

"You know one day I will get that welcome," JJ said as she ran her fingers through Henrys hair.

"Likewise" Emily said with a slightly pointed look at Amy.

They walked into the kitchen Amy's arms still wrapped around JJ's waist and Henry's face nuzzled against Emily's neck. They both could not help but laugh as they looked at a very harassed Garcia

"Everything okay Pen?" JJ asked as Emily moved to get the phone.

"You're late, and two very hyper children" was all Garcia said as she waited for the coffee machine. JJ couldn't help but laugh, she knew why both of her children were hyper, Amy was hyper due to them house hunting and also because her Ma had been for her scan and couldn't wait to find out if she was having a brother or sister.

Henry looked at both his parents as he spoke they both tried not to laugh "Where Libby?"

Emily kissed his cheek. "Let me ring Uncle Aaron and see if he can come over" Henry gave her a puzzled look before he nuzzled back into the nook of her neck.

"Where's Morgan?" JJ asked as Emily walked out the room with Henry.

"He is in the den," Garcia replied as she poured out the coffees, Amy grimaced slightly as she took in the four cups.

"Aunt Pen can you make Ma a tea instead, please." Amy asked gaining a very confused look off Garcia.

"I'll sort it, can you get Morgan please Pen, we need to talk to you both once Emily comes back," JJ said softly.

* * *

Garcia made her way into the den "Hey baby girl" Morgan said as he looked up

"They want to talk to us Morgan" Garcia said, he could hear the worry in her voice as he stood wrapping his arm around her.

"Try not to worry" he whispered as he pulled her close placing a soft kiss on the top of her head.

"Not worry, you are kidding right?"

Morgan laughed slightly "Baby girl, if it was something bad do you really think Amy and Henry would be so hyper" Morgan mused as they both made their way back into the kitchen.

"Hotch says he will be round in a few hours," Emily said as she walked back into the kitchen, the smell of coffee wafted in her direction causing her to grimace slightly

"Em?" JJ said as she watched her closely before taking Henry out of her arms. The smell of coffee was becoming too much for her stomach to stand, as she rushed to the toilet. JJ could not help but laugh even though she could hear Emily heave slightly.

"Is she okay?" Morgan asked as he looked to where his partner had retreated.

JJ gave a soft smile though she kept her distance from them both and had two children wrapped around her body. "She will be" JJ said.

"Might want to hide the coffees though" JJ laughed as she tapped Amy's shoulder.

"Behave" JJ warned slightly.

* * *

Emily finally came back from the bathroom grateful that the smell of coffee was not as strong, as her stomach had eased slightly.

JJ gave her a soft look "You okay?" JJ tried to ask though it came out in a chuckle. Emily rolled her eyes slightly as Henry wrapped his little hands around her leg

"Mama" he said slightly puzzled, "Where's Libby?" Emily closed her eyes as Amy and JJ both chuckled slightly. No matter how much they had tried to explain to him, all he could grasp that his Mama had a Libby inside her.

"Prentiss, what's going on?" Morgan asked as he looked directly at her.

"Sit down both of you" Emily said easily as she picked Henry up before placing him on his stool.

Amy sat on JJ's lap at the other end of the counter near where Henry was. JJ motioned for Amy to move slightly so she was able to keep hold of Emily's hand, not just for support but more for her own safety, she could cope with the loud voice of Garcia but Emily knew she might panic if she came towards her.

"Well?" Morgan said again.

Emily couldn't help but feel that this was worse than when they had to tell her Mother and Jennifer's Mom that she was pregnant with Henry, but as Emily moved to stand behind JJ wrapping her arms around the blondes waist pulling her closer to her, she couldn't help the slight chuckle as JJ spoke.

"You know you're killing them right" JJ said slightly amused, both Morgan and Garcia seemed on tender hooks, each worrying about what was going to be said. Though Morgan could not help thinking that if it was bad the children would not be present, and that thought alone helped settle something inside him.

"JayJ, what's going on?" Garcia asked this time, though Emily wanted to keep it going as though she was playing a game she thought better of it as she felt her wife's body tremble against

"I'm pregnant" Emily said firmly as she pulled JJ closer to her.

"You’re what now!" Morgan said as he looked at them in disbelief.

Emily shook her head as she thought back to the conversation with Amy only this time it was not followed by the slamming of doors. "I'm pregnant, and if you need me to say it again I am going to ring a doctor to check your hearing," Emily said.

JJ seemed to freeze against her body as Garcia came over to them, her heart went out to their friend but nothing anyone could say or do could stop the flinching or the sheer panic that JJ felt. Though Emily knew, it would pass in time.

True to form and how much Amy was like them placed herself against her Mom's body, Emily watched on she could see the pain and hurt in Garcia's eyes at the thought of her best friend being scared of her. Emily gave JJ a reassuring squeeze as she spoke.

"It's okay Amy" Emily said causing her daughter to move allowing their friend closer and true to Garcia's form, her arms flung around them both as tears of joy streamed down her cheeks.

"How far along are you?" Garcia asked.

Morgan glared at his partner; he had not said anything after Emily had repeated herself. Emily could feel his gaze before her eyes fell on him as she spoke. "I 23 weeks" Emily paused slightly "I was pregnant before I went undercover Derek" Emily said as though she could hear his thoughts.

"You mis" he stopped midway through "23 weeks?" Emily chuckled slightly, Morgan knew better than to approach while Emily had JJ in her arms it was one thing Garcia wrapping her arms around them both, but a male. He knew if he went too close, he could panic his friend.

"So are we having a niece or a nephew?" he asked.


	36. Chapter 36

**Location: Prentiss Household**

**Day & Time: Saturday, 11.49**

Emily had been left alone with Morgan; she could feel his glare against her back she turned to look at him. "What?" Emily asked in more of a question.

"How did you not know?" Morgan asked.

Emily could not help but chuckle. "In-between him going up for patrol, being sent undercover, JJ going missing, between coming back home and trying to hold my family together?" Emily said with a slightly amused tone. Her eyes saddened slightly "The reason I didn't know, is because I thought I had miscarried" Emily said holding Morgan's eyes in her own.

Morgan seemed lost for words, "When did you find out?" he asked.

"When I ended up in hospital," Emily said with a slight chuckle. "I promise you Morgan nothing happened while I was undercover so get that thought out of your head," Emily said with a pointed look.

"Did anything happen while you were undercover that you need to talk about?" Morgan asked carefully, everyone including Emily had been more concerned over JJ and her well-being, not one of them had checked to see how Emily was.

She gave him a soft smile, "Nothing" the tone in her voice betrayed her but instead of trying again, and Morgan knew it was best to leave it alone. For now.

"When is it you go up against the panel?" he asked.

"I go in front of them Monday" Emily let out a soft sigh.

"What do you think will happen?"

Emily let out a half laugh, "I could either lose my badge and other than that I have no clue" Emily said with a slight sigh.

Emily knew at some point she would have to deal with everything that had happened to her while she was undercover and everything she had done, but for now she would hide it all away, put it to the back of her mind while she continued to build a wall against her heart and against her mind, closing everything in to a compartment which she would open in time or not open at all.

She did not think her wife could handle what she had done, what she had been forced to do. She would continue to hide everything from everyone knowing her sole purpose was to help Jennifer heal and deep down she knew if her wife found out it would break her, and the team would look at her differently, she also doubted she would tell the panel everything.

Emily did not know if she would be able to continue doing her job anymore if it was too much, she had been pulled away from her family too many times, she had hurt her family so much. However, the bigger part of why she did the job outweighed everything. She needed to do her job because for each person they caught for each victim they found made the world slightly safer for her children for her wife.

She looked at Morgan knowing her could never know, no one could ever know the truth of what happened while she was gone. She could try to forgive herself, but she doubt anyone of them would forgive her, she knew neither the team nor her wife would look at her the same again, it was just another thing she would take to the grave when her time was up.

She would not rip her family apart any more than it had been, Amy was still fragile and her loving wife was still holding it together, though they had started to heal, she knew deep down it was going to be a long road. She maybe living a slight lie but the truth is, the lie outweighed how much the truth would hurt. How much it would truly rip her family apart and Emily was unwilling to risk losing her family again.

* * *

**Location: Palm Drive**

They pulled up in front of the last house, JJ could not help but smile, and it was a newly built house within a small-gated community. Garcia looked on in awe, she had seen the brochure but it hadn't really done the place any justice it was a large five bedroom house the estate agent was waiting on the driveway for them to arrive she smiled softly as they all piled out of the car.

"This is the last house" she said brightly, hoping that this one filled all of JJ's needs.

The house was beautiful, though she knew Emily's taste; she just hoped this house was not like the last. Emily liked houses that had some character, though the house was a new build it did not lack it. The first thing JJ noticed was the triple garage, big enough for both cars plus enough room for Casey's as well.

The house had a nice feel to it; even though it was a new build, it felt old. They continued to the front door, JJ squeezed Amy's hand slightly as they estate agent opened the door revealing a larger hall way, "Wow" Amy mumbled slightly as they made their way inside.

"I will wait in the kitchen if you would like to take a look around"

JJ nodded slightly "Thank you" Garcia had been somewhat quite in-between the houses they looked at. "Amy why don't you go and have a look around, while Garcia and I have a look upstairs." JJ smiled softly as Amy nodded.

"What's wrong Pen?" JJ asked as they made their way upstairs.

"Nothing is wrong, just concerned. How did none of you know?" Garcia asked as she turned to look at JJ.

JJ could not help the soft smile though she could not find the words she wanted to use. The words that she did not even want to speak. "Had a lot going on these past few months." JJ's voice held a slight sadness to it as Garcia nodded.

"As long as nothing has happened to Emily and as long as you both are okay with this" Garcia rambled slightly causing JJ to sigh softly.

"I am fine with this Pen, we both thought Emily had miscarried but I think it is safe to say we have both been proven wrong," JJ said in a softly. They both spent time looking around as JJ began to feel more uneasy, if she was honest she just wanted to go home even though it didn't feel like it anymore.

Amy had made her way into the far bedroom where her Mom and Garcia were, she made a slight sound so JJ would not jump. "I think Ma will love this house Mom," Amy said with a slight smile on her face.

"What about you Amy?" JJ asked.

The bedrooms were beautiful and spacious the outer so-called granny flat would suit Casey enough room for when her family came over, far enough away from the house to give her privacy but close enough at the same time. The office space would be great for Emily and the safe would be ideal for her gun, the living area downstairs seemed perfect for them, two lounges a dining room, a big kitchen which JJ knew Emily would love, there was a den which would give their children plenty of room to play in, the rear garden had a pool with fencing around giving them peace of mind that Henry wouldn't be able to fall in. In all JJ, thought the house was perfect for them and she could see them all living here.

"I like it Mom" Amy said with a bright smile.

She had taken the time to look around she had fallen in love with the big bedroom which she hoped her Mom and Ma would allow her to have, the small balcony would enable her to sit and watch the stars without her parents worrying about her safety which was a blessing. In truth, the house just felt right to her and the look in her Mom's eyes told her that she felt it too.

"Can we get Ma to come and see it?" Amy asked in a slightly rushed breath. JJ nodded slightly as they all made their way back into the kitchen.

"I think Emily will love it," Garcia said as they drove back home.

JJ smiled slightly "I think you're right," JJ said slightly amused the more time she had spent with Garcia the more comfortable she had begun to feel.

Amy was sat in the back looking out the window JJ knew that look she had seen it many times in Emily it was one of wonder and hope maybe the move would help all of them heal but first she wanted both Henry and Emily to see the house, which both Amy and herself had fallen in love with.


	37. Chapter 37

**Location: Prentiss Household**

**Time: Saturday, 16.43**

Emily had been lost in thought while Morgan watched the football; the one saving grace of being married to a football fan was that she was able to block it out. Morgan had managed to work his way through a six pack of beer, and he hadn't noticed that Emily was still on her first bottle, her eyes seemed glazed over as she looked out on to the back porch.

Henry played quietly on the carpet, only every so often looking at his Ma. Her children were used to seeing the vacant look on her face. All though Henry could not help crawling onto her lap, but even that action did not make her snap out of it. The only recognising sign was the fact that Emily wrapped her arm around him pulling Henry closer to her body.

Morgan looked over he could not help but smile seeing his nephew wrapped up in his partners arms. He studied her for a moment. "Emily? Are you okay?" he asked with an air of caution in his voice.

The voice caused Henry to look up pulling his head out of his Mama's neck he looked at his uncle Derek, he looked so much like JJ, but his features and the look he had in his eye reminded him so much of Emily, it was uncanny. Both children seemed to be the polar opposite of each other. Amy looking like Emily but yet everything about her screamed JJ well as side from her stubbornness and as he looked into Henry's eyes all he could see was Emily.

"Mama, thinking" Henry said his face slightly amused not fully understanding how his uncle Derek did not know.

Henry was still young and like many children, he just thought everyone knew, that everyone could tell what his Mama was doing. Or why his Mommy would be the only person to pull his Mama from her thoughts. Morgan looked at him for a moment before his eyes drifted back to Emily. Her features had not changed he raised his eyebrow slightly before he turned his attention back to the youngest Prentiss.

"You sure buddy?" Morgan asked.

Henry did not know the worried look he had on his face he smiled brightly before resting his head back into the nook of Emily's neck. "Mama" he could not help moving again his eyes level with Emily though she did not seem to notice. Henry nodded slightly as he settled back down in the safety of his Mama's arms.

Not one of them heard the door opening or closing as the trio entered, Henry had fallen asleep in Emily's arms and Morgan was sipping his beer as he watched the final play of the game. JJ rolled her eyes slightly at the three of them, shaking her head slightly. The more time JJ had spent with Garcia the more comfortable she had become, she frowned slightly as she looked at her wife. She knew her wife's demeanour as she looked to how Henry was curled into her so tightly.

"Hey" JJ said softly letting Morgan know they had returned, Garcia was in the kitchen making everyone a coffee as Amy made her Ma a cup of tea. Morgan turned his head slightly as he smiled at her.

"How did it go?" he asked.

JJ smiled slightly "Really good, Morgan how long has Emily been like that?" JJ asked giving him a slightly pointed look.

"About an hour," Morgan said softly as he moved. "Henry says she is thinking" Morgan said though his face had a slightly worried look.

JJ nodded as she entered the room, "Garcia is making us all a coffee, why don't you see if she needs a hand" Morgan smiled brightly at her, JJ's voice was more firm as she spoke and he was reminded of the JJ he knows and loved.

"JJ is she?" JJ raised her eyebrow at him slightly.

"Just go and help Garcia, can you make Henry a warm cup of milk and put him in his room for me please" JJ asked as she made her way over to them.

She kneeled slightly in front of Emily as she ran her fingers through Henry's golden locks, "Wake up buddy" JJ said softly as Henry stirred slightly, groggy blue eyes seemed to look at her before closing his eyes again though Emily's grip seemed to slacken slightly as he moved.

"Come on little man," JJ said again slightly firmer, "I need you to go with Uncle Derek," JJ said but this time her voice seemed softer as Henry opened his eyes letting out a slight yawn. He moved again this time he seemed to pull Emily out of her haze slightly, but JJ knew that even when Henry was off her lap she would not fully acknowledge her.

He rubbed his little hands on his eyes lifting the sleep from his vision as he looked at his mommy. "Mama thinking" he said placing his small finger against his lip, JJ could not help but smile at him.

"I know buddy that's why I want you to go with Uncle Derek, and if you're lucky Amy may have a cookie for you," JJ said, as he seemed to move reluctantly out of Emily's arms. Morgan looked on amazed that Henry was not rushing out of Emily's arms at the mention of a cookie, he knew the little boy loved the treat, as he would normally sprint into the kitchen jumping out of anyone's arms in a hope he could get it quicker.

"Is she okay?" Morgan asked as he took Henrys sleepy body in his arms.

"Yes" JJ said not giving anymore away "We will be in soon, he can take his cookie and milk upstairs" JJ said softly.

Henry was so intoned with Emily that it still amazed JJ, whenever Emily had become lost in her mind Henry had always curled up into her, and would always move so carefully out of her arms, always allowing Amy to lead him out of the room. However, this time JJ knew it was different, Emily had always shown some slight acknowledgement that she knew JJ was there, but this time there was nothing.

JJ was still kneeled in front of Emily as she ran her fingers lovingly against her wife's cheek, but she looked on in slight horror as Emily violently flinched away from her touch. She had only known Emily to flinch away a few times but every time she flinched away from her she couldn't help the slight hurt and worry that built up deep inside, it was a big sign Emily was completely lost in her mind and it was one thing that always made JJ worry.

"It's just me darling" JJ said softly as she looked into blank chocolate eyes, JJ always wondered if Emily noticed her when she was like this, though her stare seemed to look through her as though nothing was in front of her. JJ knew Emily would flinch away again as she place her hand gently on her cheek refusing to break the contact. "Shh, darling it's just me" JJ said again slightly firmer.

JJ could only wait till the light flicker back into her wife's eyes, she wondered where she went and what made her go so deep into herself, but as the years had gone by and no matter how much JJ would push for answers that never came, she always knew Emily kept something from her and she often wondered when her wife became so lost in thought that she had retreated to that place. Although each time she came back to her, it was as though Emily added another wall inside herself. JJ could only wipe the stray tears, which fell from her eyes away. However, this time it felt different, she was so still the only movement Emily gave was the rise and fall of her chest.

They seemed to stay this way for a long time, JJ whispering words of love anything to bring her back to her, for some sign that the lights were coming back into her eyes, she wondered how Emily managed not to blink, she knew their friends would be getting worried about them but JJ didn't care as she ran her fingers softly against her cheek.

The more the action and contact she gave the more signs Emily seem to give that she was coming back, their eyes seemed to lock for a moment the light slowly coming back, "Emily" JJ said in a whisper as Emily blinked allowing a few more stray tears to fall. JJ could only give her a soft smile as Emily closed her eyes before opening them and looking straight back at her, giving her a slight smile.

"My beautiful girl" JJ whispered as Emily gave her a slight but sad smile, JJ could see another wall go up behind her wife's eyes it saddened her but she could only hope one day she would allow her in fully, people always kept part of themselves hidden, the one thing that they held back was normally something that held so much pain.

"I'm sorry," Emily said so softly, JJ could only shake her head.

"You have nothing to be sorry for" JJ said sincerely, JJ leaned closer allowing their lips to meet pulling her in for a soft kiss one filled with understanding and love. "Amy's made you a nice cup of tea," JJ said as she pulled back. It was as though nothing had happened as though she was not bringing up the vacant stare Emily had, had for the past half an hour.

Emily had seemed to come round more as she continued to lean into her wife as though she was pulling strength off her. "How did the house hunting go?" Emily asked as though nothing had happened, another wall built up against her heart another compartment locked away with all the other things that she held deep inside.

"I have arranged for us all to go and have a look at the last house we saw its perfect and I think you will love it as well" Emily nodded slightly as she yawned.

"When?" Emily asked she could not help but smile once dull blue eyes where now sparkling.

"Tomorrow" JJ said with a cheeky grin. Emily smiled softly. They both made their way into the kitchen.

"Are you three behaving?" Emily asked as she watched Amy and Garcia poking each other in the ribs, Garcia nodded just as Amy made her jump forward slightly.

"I don't those two know how to behave" JJ said fully walking into the kitchen, grabbing her mug of coffee before passing Emily her cup of tea.

* * *

JJ made her way behind Emily wrapping her arms around Emily's waist, "Are you ready for bed?" JJ asked softly, Garcia and Morgan had left not long after they had all eaten, Amy had gone to bed, and Henry had not stirred since Morgan had put him to bed that afternoon.

Emily nodded before she turned to look at JJ, "I feel I could sleep for a month" Emily said in a slight moan.

JJ ran her fingers gently over Emily's small bump as their eyes locked JJ couldn’t help but notice the slight dark circles which seemed to cover Emily's eyes. She had known Emily was not sleeping too well, if it was not her waking from a nightmare it was the soft whimpers that came from Emily that disturbed her.

"Is everything okay darling?" JJ asked carefully.

Emily nodded "Just tired" Emily said with a slight chuckle. "I love you Jen," Emily said before placing a soft kiss on JJ's lips.


	38. Chapter 38

**Location: Prentiss Household**

**Day & Time: Sunday, 8.45**

JJ had awoken early leaving Emily asleep in bed while she saw to the children's breakfast and getting them ready to go and view the house, she had rung Casey at 8am to give her chance to get ready and join them. Both JJ and Emily did not know what they would do without Casey some days. She truly was another family member.

JJ wanted Emily to have as much sleep as possible it had been a restless night for them both, though JJ's nightmares seemed to be leaving her to which she was thankful for, she was still unable to get changed in front of Emily and she had only seen her wife half-naked body twice since being rescued.

Something had been playing on Emily's mind, over the past few days and JJ had begun to notice more. Even though her trauma was still fresh she was coming to terms with what had happened to her, she knew by the look Emily would give her often that she didn't see the scars which laced her body. Emily could only she her, she left the children knowing she would have to wake Emily if they were going to make the 10 o clock viewing, it was mornings like this that JJ was grateful that it didn't take long for Emily to get ready.

She made her way slowly into the bedroom a soft smile crossed her lips as she looked at Emily sleeping peacefully, "Emily" JJ said softly as she made her way over to the bed, JJ knelt down at the side of her bed as she began to run her fingers down her arm in a hope to disturb her slightly. "Darling you need to wake up" JJ said.

Emily frowned slightly at the intrusion of the voice, which followed the gentle touch on her skin, "Emily" JJ whispered she could not help but chuckle as Emily grumbled her slight protest about getting up. "Casey is going to be here soon and we need to get moving," JJ said in a firm voice.

Emily opened her eyes slowly meeting JJ's pale blue orbs; she could not help but smile as she spoke "How long is soon?"

JJ rolled her eyes slightly," in say fifteen minutes, so that gives you fifteen to get up and dressed and enough time for you to have a cup of tea before we have to leave" Emily nodded as she began to stretch before getting up fully.

"Do you think we are going to need a bigger bed" Emily half grumbled.

JJ could not help but laugh. "Only you could think about that first thing in the morning," JJ said slightly amused.

By the time Emily had come down Casey was already there, JJ passed her a cup of tea, though the thought and smell of coffee made her feel or be sick she would admit she was dying for a cup. But for now she just hope that the nice cup of tea would have the same effect as coffee, clear the cobwebs out of her tired mind.

* * *

**Location: Palm Drive**

Emily could not help but chuckle as Amy sprinted out of the car running straight up to the front door. "I am guessing she likes the house" Emily mused as they four of them walked to catch her up, the estate agent was waiting for them all at the front door.

"I will wait in the kitchen while you all have a look around" she smiled softly at them before they all started to look around.

Emily was impressed, the house had a nice feel to it, and she turned to look at JJ as they stood in the master bedroom. "I am guessing you two have fallen in love with it," said questioned with an amused smile.

JJ grinned, "What do you think?" JJ asked ignoring the question Emily had asked her.

"I like it" Emily said with a slight grin "And I am guessing Amy wants the bedroom with the balcony" Emily said just as Amy walked into the room.

"Can I?" she asked her eyes pleaded with her Ma in a hope that she liked the house and hoping both parents didn't mind if she could have the slightly bigger bedroom.

Emily looked at JJ before they both nodded at Amy, "The only condition is you keep it tidy," Emily said with a slightly pointed look.

They met up downstairs with Casey and Henry "So what do you two think?" Emily asked.

"Mama, pool" Henry said in a loud voice causing them all too laugh.

"I'll take that as a yes buddy" Emily mused as she then looked at Casey.

"Is the outer house okay for you Casey?" Emily asked.

"It is perfect" Casey said before they all made their way into the kitchen.

They could tell the estate agent was on tender hooks as they entered. "What is the asking price?" Emily asked as she looked at the estate agent.

"$500,000" she said softly.

Emily looked at her family and she could tell just by each of their eyes that they wanted it, and if Emily was honest, she could see this as their home for a long time. Emily had ushered her family out of the room so she was able to talk to the estate agent in private.

She made her way back out of the kitchen half an hour later, she smiled softly at JJ "I will get our solicitor to sort the paperwork out this week, and have the checks run on it which will take a few weeks."

JJ grinned as she threw her arms around Emily "Thank you"

Emily kissed her cheek softly before she pulled back to look into shinning blue eyes "You really are easy to please" Emily teased.

* * *

**Location: Prentiss Household.**

They had spent the day playing with Henry while Amy got everything ready for school the next day, but as the day went on Emily had become more quite, JJ made her way into the kitchen watching her wife as she prepared their dinner.

"Emily what's wrong?" JJ asked carefully. Emily shook her head slightly.

"Nothing just thinking about tomorrow" Emily said before turning back around so she was able to keep an eye on the food.

JJ sighed softly as she made her way further in so she was standing at her side, "You know you can talk to me" JJ said softly, Emily could only give her a slight smile as she spoke.

"I know I can talk to you Jennifer," Emily said as she took JJ's hand in her own. "I just want to get tomorrow over with and see if I still have a job"

JJ nodded though she had seen the worried and haunted look in Emily's eyes, it seemed to be there more often, although JJ was the first one to admit she hadn't been paying too much attention to how her wife was doing.

However, due to the amount of therapy she was going through, plus the department shrink she was getting there, and after she had told Emily what had happened she felt more comfortable in herself. She knew the trauma would haunt her sometimes and the nightmares would still come, but in all she was feeling like her old self, though the scars remained as a reminder.

"Just remember I am here for you Emily," JJ whispered before leaving the kitchen to join the children and Casey in the den.

* * *

 

**Time: 02.07**

JJ was pulled out of her sleep not because of a nightmare but because of the soft whimpers coming from the person next to her, her first thought was Emily, then it was Amy but as the sleepy haze left her mine and her eyes opened she realised that Amy wasn't in bed with them, carefully she turned the lamp on at the side of her bed enabling her to see Emily fully.

Her face was scrunched up, tears slipping from her closed eyes, JJ carefully placed her hand on Emily's shoulder as she tried to calm her down, but Emily flinched slightly at the touch her face showing slight pain as though her touch had burnt her shoulder causing her to whimper more. JJ had only known Emily to be like this a few times, after Doyle and before that it was when they first started dating. John had caused so much pain to both Emily and Amy though JJ knew he had hit her once and was there when he had hurt Amy, she knew there was more to it. However, this was different, she had known Emily had not slept much and she knew something was playing deeply on her mind.

JJ tried again keeping her hand firmly on Emily's shoulder as she spoke. "Emily wake up sweetie it's just a dream," JJ said firmly but yet Emily just whimpered slightly trying to move away from the touch. The mist of her dream pulling her further and deeper in to her mind. JJ closed her eyes slightly as her voice seemed to echo in the bedroom. Emily's eyes snapped open, there was a frightened and wild look in her eyes that JJ had never seen before and she couldn't help but back away slightly.

"Emily it's just me" JJ said softly though the contact had been broken, frightened brown eyes locked with hers, the tears falling freely from her eyes as she came around.

Over the weeks that she had been home and JJ had been found Emily had, had little sleep and even when she had slept she had been woken by either JJ's nightmares or her children, it had been the first night she had fully allowed her body to get some real sleep, only now she felt more exhausted than ever. The frightened and wild look seemed to fall from her eyes as she wiped the tears off her face.

JJ moved closer allowing Emily to wrap her arms around her "Sorry I woke you" Emily whispered as her head rested against JJ's chest.

JJ shook her head slightly, "It's okay" JJ said softly as she began to draw patterns on Emily's arm, "Talk to me" JJ asked softly, she knew how stubborn her wife was and also how she thought she could take on the world not allowing anyone to help her, but as the tears stopped and Emily calmed down she shook her head against JJ.

"I can't help you unless you talk to me Emily," JJ said softly as she placed her lips on the top of her head. Sometimes she hated Emily's stubbornness and how she kept everything so tightly wound in especially when things where playing so much on her mind.

However, getting Emily to talk about anything had always been a task in its self and JJ always knew when to push and when not to, but right now she was unsure which would be for the best. She wondered if something bad had happened while she had been undercover, or was it because she had been strong for too long holding their family together, there were so many reasons as to why Emily was so distance and so closed off but JJ had to at least try to get her to talk.

Emily closed her eyes slightly before placing a soft kiss on JJ's chest, "I love you Jen" Emily whispered softly.

JJ couldn't help but shake her head slightly "I love you too Em, But I need you to talk to me please" JJ pleaded slightly.

Emily sighed "I am just worried about the hearing Jen that's all" it was a half lie and she knew it, but right now she couldn't tell JJ the truth, she hadn't even dealt with what happened herself, too busy keeping her family together, too busy helping them all heal to even think about what she had done or what had happened.

JJ sighed as she gave up slightly she knew in truth Emily would talk to her when she was ready and she also knew if she tried to push Emily would back away and go into herself more. In truth Emily wasn't ready she feared she would lose everything and everyone if they knew the truth, it would break JJ's heart if she knew and right now Emily didn't want to cause her so much pain she had been through too much, too much had happened to her wife and she refused to add to that pain.


	39. Chapter 39

**Location: FBI HQ.**

**Day & Time: Monday, 09.48**

Emily sat outside the big brown doors as she waited to be asked in, she couldn't help the nervous and sick feeling she had building deep inside, she knew the questions which would be asked and she dreaded giving the answers. The easy part was the reason for her going MIA, the hard part would be what happened in those weeks she was undercover.

It was like waiting for a scab to be ripped off her skin, you know it needs to come off but the pain it would cause makes you hesitate, she wasn't due in until 10am and she had been sat there since 9.35. Emily was not normally so early for things, even at work she would arrive only ten minutes prior unless she had travelled in with JJ.

"Agent Prentiss, they are ready for you now" Emily could only nod at the younger agent, she doubted he worked for the FBI more than likely was CIA, it felt like going into a hearing or a trail which they had sometimes had to go and give evidence in. However, the row in front of her sat five people, instead of just one.

The big brown table where she was sitting held a microphone so she did not need to speak loudly, though she also knew it was because they needed to record the hearing so she would not need to do this again, which to her was a blessing.

The man in the middle nodded his head slightly as she took the seat in front of them. "Can you give your name and rank for the record?" he asked.

Emily could not help but swallow thickly. "Supervisory Special Agent Prentiss of the BAU"

"Can you tell the board what your undercover assignment was?"

"I was asked to find intel on a trafficking ring in Texas, to get as close as I could to the ring leader, my cover was Lauren Reynolds, whose background was an arms dealer. I used my old contacts which I had known from my previous undercover work over 10years ago."

They seemed to stay silent for a while as though they were working out what they wanted to ask or trying to make Emily nervous, but her face was blank no emotion in her eyes or on her face as she watched them.

"We are led to believe you became close to one of the ring leaders"

Emily knew they were reading her report as he looked back at her after asking the question.

"That is correct as stated in my report"

"I have been informed that there is something not in your report Agent Prentiss"

Emily could not help notice the smug grin and the glint in his eyes as he spoke.

"The report you have is the full account of what transpired" Emily said, her voice slightly cold as she glared at him slightly.

"I am led to believe that a few bodies ended up at the morgue, can you shed some light on this?" he asked. Emily could not help but sigh internally as the sly grin appeared across his face.

"That is correct, three bodies in total" there was a coldness in Emily's voice as though she had turned off all emotion to the point of her becoming numb.

"Agent Prentiss, I cannot condone three innocent bodies turning up at the county morgue, unless you can give us a reason you could and can be charged with murder, do you understand"

Emily swallowed slightly.

"Now I will ask you again, what have you kept out of your report Agent" his voice was more firmer than it was at the start Emily could not help the sadness that took over.

"Andrew Jones, Sofia Peters and Martin Shaw,"

"Mr Jones, suffered from a blow to his head, as stated on the report"

Emily nodded "That is correct" keeping her answers short.

"Miss Peters suffered from a gunshot wound"

"That is correct"

"And Mr Shaw suffered a multitude of injuries, but I guess you know this" he said with a pointed look.

"I will ask again Agent Prentiss, What did you leave out of your report"

Emily closed her eyes slightly as she closed her emotions down more detaching herself from what she was about to say.

""Mr Jones attacked me" Emily swallowed thickly, "One of the men which was working with me saw what was happening and came to my defence" Emily held his eyes in her own, though the blank expression which laced her face gave him a cold chill.

"You got into a fight with him?" he pushed.

"You could say that" again, Emily swallowed thickly.

"I also believe that night you was taken to the local emergency room"

Emily could only nod as she tried to keep her emotions and feelings at bay.

"Why did you not make a full report of what happened?" he asked, Emily could see the compassion in his eyes.

"There was little point since he was deceased"

He nodded, "Can you explain what happened to Miss Peters?"

"Miss Peters, had been sent to bring a shipment in from Mexico, she managed to get across the border, but died from the bullet wound she received as a result, I was not present at the time, but from what was fed back to me, she was stopped by the border and instead of allowing the search Miss Peters panicked and fled to get across the border and was fired upon from the police"

"What was the shipment?"

"The shipment was a dummy run, I had given all the details to my handler which he neglected to pass on to the border patrol, the shipment was a few small blocks of heroin which were concealed in the cars glove compartment"

"And Mr Shaw?"

Emily couldn't help the sly smile which graced her lips, "As you are a where, drugs and guns are just a small part of the operation, as stated in my report, children were being smuggled over the border, I had entered the warehouse to check on the children to make sure they were all still account for, it was there I found Mr Shaw preforming a sexual act upon a five year old girl." Emily could help the tears, which formed in her eyes as she spoke.

"I dragged him away from her and we got into a fight which lead to his death"

She could see the looks of horror across each of their faces, a stray tear fell from her eye, "I was sent in there to gain intel, I could not sit back and allow a child to be raped, so if you want to charge me for murder then so be it, I stand by my actions and I would do it again in order to protect a child from that ordeal" Emily's voice was firm and strong though each member of the bar could hear and feel the emotion held in her voice.

"I smuggled the child out of the warehouse that night and brought her to the hospital, I believe she has been placed into a foster home and is receiving treatment for what she had been through" Emily stated sadly.

"Have you received treatment for what happened Agent Prentiss?" one of the women asked

Emily could not help but shake her head. "I haven't had chance, as you all know what has happened to my wife and my children; my sole focus has been on them"

"We have been informed of all the details of why you abandoned your post and given the extent of the injuries Agent Jareau suffered, it is understandable," he sighed slightly.

"Your suspension has been lifted Agent Prentiss, Have you informed any members of your team about what happened while you were on assignment"

"No Sir"

"A few words of advice Agent Prentiss" the woman said softly.

"Ma'am?"

"You need to talk about what has happened Agent. If you are not comfortable talking to someone within the department, I can give you a few numbers which specialise in helping people who have been sexual assaulted."

Emily nodded slightly before she replied. "I have already scheduled an appointment to see someone"

Emily sighed slightly as they dismissed her, as she opened the doors she was shocked to see Morgan standing there waiting for her. "What are you doing here?" Emily asked in slight shock.

"You really think I would allow my partner to go up against a panel alone" he said kindly, "Emily, why did you not say something?" he asked carefully.

Emily frowned "Say something about what?" she asked slightly puzzled.

"Doors aren't that thick" Morgan replied raising his eyebrow at her. He watched as the colour drained slightly from her face.

"There is nothing to say, aside from I want to get out of here and go home," Emily said softly.

Morgan could only nod slightly, "You do know we are here for you Emily, you don't have to go through everything alone." His voice seemed to plead with her slightly.

"I am aware of that Morgan, just leave it," Emily said with a slight warning in her voice.

Morgan could only look at her sadly, he had heard everything that had been said and it broke his heart that she had been going through this alone, blocking it out as though it has never happened, but he also knew it was how Emily was. Stubborn and always trying to do things alone, he could only hope she would talk to him in time and he hoped she had told JJ what had happened though he doubted it.

* * *

**Location: Prentiss Household**

**Time: 12.48**

Morgan had offered to drive Emily home she had excepted even though she was slightly apprehensive, she opened the door slowly as they made their way inside, Henry bounded down the hallway and she welcomed him with open arms, "Hey buddy" she whispered though she couldn't help the tears which rolled down her cheeks as she held him tightly in her arms.

Morgan watched silently before closing the door, "Emily?" the soft voice of JJ wafted down the hallway Emily closed her eyes before placing a kiss on Henry's cheek, she couldn't reply as the emotions took over, she passed Henry to Morgan's waiting arms before heading upstairs.

His heart broke for her, she was never one to show her emotions, "JJ, she's upstairs" he replied sadly, the last thing he wanted was JJ to worry.

JJ made her way into the hallway, "Is she okay?" JJ asked, though the expression told her she was not.

"I'll take this one into the den, JJ," he said softly. "She needs you" he said softly, he would never rely what he had heard but the look on his face told JJ everything.

JJ made her way upstairs, she could hear the soft sobs, which came from behind their bedroom door, it took a lot to break Emily, and something major to reduce her to tears. JJ opened the bedroom door carefully, her heart sunk slightly as she took in the scene before her.

Emily was curled up on the bed her face buried into the pillow, the shudders which racked her body as she cried uncontrollably into the pillow in a hope that she would not be heard.

"Oh darling" JJ whispered as she made her way in, closing the door behind her, she made her way to the bed sitting carefully next to her wife, her fingers ran lovingly down Emily's back.

Emily could not help but flinch slightly at the contact. "It's just me Em," JJ said softly.

The sound of her wife's voice caused her to move slightly she leaned more into JJ in effect of curling into her allowing herself to feel the love. How could she tell JJ everything after what she had gone through, the trauma that JJ had suffered, Emily could not and would not add to that pain. However, right now, right in this moment she needed the comfort off her wife, she needed someone to lean on, to gain strength off.


	40. Chapter 40

**Location: Prentiss Household**

**Time: 12.59**

JJ continued to run her finger down Emily's back as she waited for the tears to subside slightly, her heart broke slightly. The last time JJ had seen Emily like this was when she had returned after they had faked her death.

Emily's grip slackened slightly as she calmed down, "I've got you" JJ whispered softly as she ran her fingers through her darkened locks, she allowed Emily a few moments to fully settle down before she spoke, "How did the hearing go?" she asked carefully, she was partly worried that she had been fired due to some of her actions but something deep inside her told her there was more to it.

"Suspension has been lifted" Emily said softly, her breathing hitched slightly as she began the task of closing her emotions back down. She wasn't ready to tell JJ what had transpired. Part of her worried that JJ couldn't handle hearing what happened to her undercover though the other part of her knew how strong her wife truly was. Emily was just unable to take the risk.

JJ gave a sad smile as she watched the walls go up slightly as Emily calmed down; she ran her finger softly through Emily's hair moving the stray strands out of her eyes.

Emily's eyes seemed to plead with JJ's "Stay here sweetheart, I'm going to see if Morgan will take Henry and Amy out for a while okay" JJ said carefully to which Emily nodded.

JJ made her way downstairs and into the den, she cleared her throat slightly pulling Morgan's attention, he gave her a soft smile before moving to join her in the kitchen. "How's she doing?" he asked kindly.

JJ sighed as she shook her head, "Has she said anything to you Morgan?" JJ asked slightly firmer than she meant to. He swallowed slightly.

"Morgan," JJ said her voice firm as she looked deep into her dark sorrowful eyes. "Tell me." It was more an order than a request; he turned his head looking away from her as he spoke.

"JJ it's not my place to tell you" he said softly.

JJ frowned slightly before she nodded, "I will ring you and you can bring the children back" JJ said though her face still held a slight frown.

Morgan nodded "Take your time, if needed they can stay we me and Garcia overnight" JJ nodded before making her way back upstairs.

JJ studied Emily for a moment before she entered the bedroom fully; Emily was curled up again her face hidden in her pillow, as though she was gaining comfort from it. She made her way in closing the door softly behind her. "Emily" she said softly as she made her way over, but JJ gained no reply.

Making her way over to the bed she sat beside Emily, her fingers reached out to touch her; she could only look on in slight shock as Emily flinched. It wasn't the first time Emily had flinched at her touch, but it was the first time she had flinched and whimpered.

"It's just me Em" JJ said softly as she touched her arm again allowing her fingers to softly run against her arm.

JJ waited as Emily settled down slightly, "I'm sorry" Emily whispered as she began to move so she could curl into her wife's body.

"Don't be sorry Emily, talk to me" she knew how stubborn Emily was but this time JJ wasn't about to back down like she had done in the past, she needed to know what had happened.

"Talk to me Em" JJ said softly as she ran her fingers gently through her hair, Emily couldn't help the soft sigh which escaped her lips.

"Jen, I" Emily's breath hitched slightly how could she tell JJ how could she rip her wife's heart out again? Emily placed a soft kiss on JJ's chest where her head was resting.

"Emily what happened while you were undercover?" JJ's voice was slightly firm as she spoke.

"I am not going anywhere Em I promise" JJ said softly, Emily let out a slight sigh, she closed her eyes she knew she had to tell JJ what had happened but it still didn't stop the sickly feeling building inside.

JJ placed a soft kiss upon her head pulling her closer as her fingers ran softly against her back.

Emily shook her head. "I got someone killed" Emily knew she might as well tell JJ everything, though she couldn't look at her wife, she couldn't look into hurt blue orbs, she had spent so many weeks trying to help JJ heal, being the strong one, the one holding their family together.

"I sent her on a job and she was killed" JJ could hear the anger in Emily's voice.

"No darling you didn't kill her" JJ whispered.

Emily couldn't help but scoff "I did, the police on the boarder never got my message, and how is that not my fault?"

JJ ran her fingers through her hair, "You didn't pull the trigger Emily, you didn't kill her" Emily shook her head slightly not wanting to believe JJ; it was easier to blame herself, easy to believe she had gotten her killed.

"Three people are dead because of me, one person's life has been changed because of my actions, how on earth is that not my fault" Emily's voice was cold as she spoke, JJ frowned slightly.

"Three people?" she asked in more of a question.

Emily nodded her head "Three people are dead because of me Jennifer, a child who had everything ripped from her, because I didn't check on them sooner."

Emily pulled back slightly, "She was five years old Jen, she was a baby and that man took that from her, that bastard stole her innocence" JJ could hear and feel the emotion behind each word. She didn't need Emily to tell her what happened she knew, her heart broke for her she knew what seeing that must have done to Emily.

"It wasn't your fault Emily." JJ said firmly.

Emily shook her head. "I nearly lost you Jen; everything I touch, everything I love or try to protect gets hurt. Look at Amy, I couldn't protect her from her father, I couldn't protect you from what you have been through and I couldn't even protect myself, so you tell me how none of this is my fault"

JJ frowned slightly at the last comment but let it go for now as she spoke. "You haven't lost me, what happened to me wasn't your fault, how could you have known that was going to happened Emily. You are the one who has helped me heal; you're the one who has been strong for me. You haven't lost me and you never will Emily. I love you so much darling I couldn't have got through this without you." JJ said firmly.

"You did protect Amy from her father, no one could have known what he was going to do, and he had never shown aggression towards her before."

Emily scoffed slightly "I should have known, I should have seen it coming. He had become violent towards me Jennifer, so many nights I woke with his hands wrapped around my neck, so many times he had hit me and I allowed that, I allowed him to stay in our home"

JJ sighed softly "How could you have known he would hurt Amy, he isn't well, he hasn't been well for such a long time, you did nothing wrong, you tried to help him, you tried to get him help. There is nothing you could have done to stop what happened to Amy,"

Emily shook her head "I should have gotten him help sooner, I should have done something."

JJ pulled Emily closer, "You did the best you could, you tried to help him Emily, but nothing could have stopped what happened, it isn't your fault darling. Amy doesn't blame you and she has never blamed you for his actions."

Emily nodded against JJ, "What happened to you darling?" JJ asked carefully, right now Emily was raw and open, but right now JJ needed answers she needed to know why Emily was hurting so badly, she needed to know what was eating her up inside, she knew something deeper was going on. Her heart hurt for her, it hurt because Emily felt she couldn't turn to her, or talk to her.

"Emily, please talk to me darling, how can I help if you don't tell me what happened to you, why you feel you were unable to protect yourself. What is so bad that you can't talk to me Emily?"

Emily shook her head against JJ, she couldn't tell her and she couldn't tell her that this child that was growing inside her may be his.


	41. Chapter 41

**Location: Prentiss Household**

**Day & Time: Monday, 19.37**

JJ had left Emily sleeping she seemed more tired than normal; she knew the pregnancy played a part as well as the emotional breakdown that had come after the hearing. But she couldn't help feel there was something else at play. Something else her wife was hiding from her. Morgan was due to bring the children home soon she had informed him that she had ordered them all some takeout for dinner.

Slowly she make her way back upstairs, Emily had been asleep for the past few hours and she knew if she didn't wake her soon Emily wouldn't sleep tonight, opening the door slowly she took in the peacefulness of the room, Emily holding her pillow. For the first time in months a fire seemed to take hold inside her, she looked so perfect, so beautiful maybe it was the glow she had from the pregnancy, slowly she made her way over to the bed her hand making soft contact with her exposed skin.

"I love you so much Emily" JJ whispered as she gently move the stray hair out of Emily's face.

Emily whimpered slightly at the touch causing JJ to frown slightly, it was a sound JJ knew. Months after Emily had returned she would often whimper in her sleep, thrashing with fear that was so deeply in bedded inside her. Doyle hadn't just hurt her or nearly killed her; he had also tried to force himself on her. JJ's heart began to race slightly.

"Emily it's just me darling" JJ said softly trying to pull her out of whatever dream she was in, whatever was making her whimper.

JJ knew over the years Emily's heart and mind had taken more than its share of beatings, everything from her upbringing to Doyle, and each time Emily would place another wall up so she wouldn't get hurt. The Emily she knows and loves would take on everything and blame herself for everything in the process, the victims, the families torn apart, the children that suffered in the aftermath it hurt her deeply.

It had taken JJ so long for Emily to trust her and even then she would never fully open up, she was unwilling to give anyone that power over her, even though JJ knew she always held something back she was fine with it. Everyone kept something to themselves, something private, but right now the woman laid in her bed was blaming herself and holding something back that was damaging her mentally and JJ knew it.

She reached out her hand again her fingers gently touching Emily's bare arm. "Emily, dinner is nearly here sweetheart" JJ said softly. Throughout the years JJ had learnt when to push and when not to, but right now she was unsure which would be for the best. Push and watch her wife place more walls up, or leave it allowing Emily to blame herself for everything that has happened.

The whimpers seemed to die down slightly though where JJ's fingers rested she could feel the trembling coming for Emily's body, JJ carefully moved from the bed, "Don't" Emily whispered "Don't leave" JJ's heart broke slightly she could hear the pleading in Emily's voice.

"I'm not leaving you darling" JJ said softly, giving her a soft smile as Emily opened her eyes.

* * *

**Time: 20.17**

Emily could hear the laughter and the high pitch squeal off Henry as she made her way to the den, she couldn't help but laugh as she watch Morgan twirl Henry in the air as though he was an aeroplane or superman, Amy was curled up next to Garcia. Slender arms wrapped around her waist and Emily gratefully leaned into the solid frame of her wife.

"They seem happy" Emily muttered softly. It was a sign that her family was truly healing.

It was the only room they hadn't packed up yet. They would be moving soon and for Emily it couldn't come fast enough for her. Though she doubted it would settle her any there was still a black cloud hanging over her head and she knew it would stay there until she opened up to JJ.

JJ placed a soft kiss on Emily's neck, "They are sweetheart" JJ whispered before pulling back and clearing her throat.

"MAMA" Emily rolled her eyes slightly as Morgan placed him on the ground so he could go to his Mama's waiting arms.

"Hey buddy, you having funny with Uncle Derek?" Emily asked as he nuzzled into her neck nodding against her.

"You guys hungry?" JJ asked, to which they all nodded, though Henry stayed nuzzled into Emily as they all made their way into the kitchen.

It wasn't long before Emily was putting Henry to bed it had been a long day for everyone, Emily was exhausted both physically and emotionally, she sat quietly next to his bed moving the golden locks out of his eyes, running her fingers over her stomach as she watched him drift further into his dreams, Emily placed a soft kiss on his forehead before she got up turning the night light on for him before she closed the door.

The soft chatter downstairs gave her some peace JJ's laughter filtered through the hallway as she made her way back into the kitchen, Morgan was the first to notice she had finally come back downstairs. As JJ watched him give Emily a look one she had seen many times, it was full of sadness JJ turned and looked at her wife just as she shook her head. She heard the sigh which left Morgan's lips as though they had, had a full blown conversation.

Morgan and Garcia had left not long after Amy had gone to bed, Emily stayed in the kitchen washing the pots they had used, for the first time in weeks JJ studied her, the amount of tension Emily was carrying showed, the famous I can handle everything demeanour that she use to have was out in full force and JJ knew in that moment she couldn't push Emily to talk. Pushing would only make Emily close down more.

"You nearly ready to call it a night" JJ said softly.

Emily fingers gripped the basin as though it was holding her up; her shoulder slumped slightly as she shook her head, the tears ran down her cheeks as her body trembled slightly. JJ made her way over to the sink; gently she wrapped her arms around Emily's waist pulling her closer to her body giving her comfort.

"Come on sweetheart this can all wait until morning" JJ said softly as she began to draw patterns on the small bump which was forming.

Emily wrapped her fingers around JJ's stilling them against her stomach "I'm sorry" Emily said softly.

"Come to bed sweetheart" JJ said softly ignoring the apology which Emily was giving.

%MCEPASTEBIN%


	42. Chapter 42

**Location: Prentiss Household**

**Day & Time: Tuesday, 03.45**

The morning seemed to come around to fast, it felt like moments ago her head hit the pillow, JJ wondered what had disturbed her sleep, she couldn't feel the extra lumps on the bed so she knew none of the children where in bed with them.

The movement coming from next to her made her eyes snap open, Emily was trashing in her sleep not as bad as normal but enough for JJ to wake, she turned looking at the big red numbers on the clock she grimaced internally before turning on the bedside lamp. She couldn't help the sigh which left her lips as she looked at her wife.

"Oh Emily," JJ said sadly, her face was scrunched up her body was dripping in sweat. "Why won't you talk to me darling" JJ whispered before she began the gentle task of waking her. Carefully she placed her hand on Emily's shoulder, though this time she wasn't shocked as Emily flinched violently though JJ refused to break the contact.

There had been so many times over the years she would wake to find Emily trashing though after Doyle when she finally came home it was worse than ever, but in this moment she knew how much little sleep she had gotten since Emily had come home and since she had been found.

"Shh darling, it's just a dream," JJ said softly as she tried to gently shake her, JJ moved her darkened locks away from Emily's eyes as she tried to bring her out of the dream. Emily's nightmares only came when she relaxed her body and had fallen into a deep sleep.

The shudders from Emily's body seemed to settle down slightly as JJ rocked her gently in an attempt to wake her; it seemed to take ages to pull Emily out of whatever was tormenting her mind though as JJ looked at the clock it had only been fifteen minutes to finally get her to stir slightly.

"Jen" Emily mumbled as her sleepy haze caused her eyelids to flicker slightly.

"I'm here darling" Emily's eyes opened slowly. JJ's heart broke slightly as Emily flinched away the wild and fearful look Emily had in her eyes worried JJ more than anything. "It's just me Emily," JJ said softly.

"Sorry" Emily muttered slightly as she moved back towards JJ, her hands and body automatically wrapping her arm around JJ's waist, her head rested upon her chest.

"Shh, baby I've got you" JJ said as she ran her fingers along Emily's bare skin.

Emily nodded against JJ; JJ allowed Emily to settle in her arms as she place a soft kiss upon her head, Emily hair was sticking to her head through the amount that Emily had been sweating. "Come on darling you need a shower and out of these wet clothes" JJ said softly, Emily pulled JJ closer to her body. The sleepy haze still fogged her mind slightly as she nodded.

By the time Emily returned from the shower JJ had stripped the damp bed and pulled her fresh sleep wear out of the draw, she motioned Emily to sit near the dressing table. It was time for JJ to take care of Emily, she felt guilty for not noticing she was struggling for not seeing there was something wrong. Something playing so deeply in Emily's mind that she had closed down, the walls built slightly higher behind her eyes as though she was protecting herself from whatever had happened.

JJ knew that Emily felt that she was to blame for things that happened while she had been undercover; she also knew that part of her blamed herself for what had happened to her at the hands of Simon. For not noticing Amy was struggling, for being there for Henry to help in settle. The guilt hit JJ like a tidal wave as everything fell into place in her mind. Emily had been holding the whole family together, closing herself off and locking her feelings away.

JJ took the hold of the spare towel as she moved closer to Emily; she placed it against her head as she began to dry her hair gently massaging her scalp as she did. "Talk to me darling" JJ said as she looked at Emily through the mirror, Emily averted her eyes away from JJ as she shook her head.

How could she tell her that she felt dirty that she was dirty, that it was her fault, that she was unable to protect herself yet again? Emily wasn't ready to face it, wasn't ready to deal with it and what played more on Emily's mind more than anything was the life which was growing inside her, had it come from the fertility treatment or was it his.

Would her sweet and loving wife except this child if she knew the truth? Could Emily accept the unborn child that was growing inside her? She knew she would have to tell JJ at some point. She would have to let JJ in and open up to her, but she hadn't dealt with it herself. She had already gone behind her wife's back booking an appointment with the fertility clinic and making an appointment to see a therapist.

JJ ran her fingers through her damp hair "Just know I am here for you sweetheart," placing a soft kiss upon her head before wrapping her arms around her shoulders, their eyes met Emily gave a half smile but JJ could see the sadness which whirled in her eyes. "I love you so much Emily" JJ said as she pulled Emily against her body, "Come back to bed" Emily nodded slightly before getting up.

She turned so she was facing JJ looking into loving blue orbs, "I love you too Jennifer" Emily whispered as JJ pulled her in to a soft kiss. JJ led her back to the bed waiting for her to lie down before she got in to bed herself.

"Come her Em" JJ said as she opened her arms allowing Emily to rest her head upon JJ's chest.

* * *

**Time: 07.46**

The bed dipped slightly causing JJ to stir it didn't seem like moments ago she had fallen asleep, "Mommy?" JJ groaned slightly as Henry's voice pieced her ears she was sure he could never find his quiet voice as it seemed to echo around the bedroom.

"Hey buddy" JJ said through a yawn as she opened her eyes, though she couldn't help closing them again as the light seemed way too bright for her eyes.

She turned to look at Emily, as Henry threw himself in to her arms his head landing against her chest with a slight thud; JJ frowned as she noticed the vacant space where Emily should be.

"Mama making breakfast" Henry mumbled slightly.

"Guess I better get up then buddy" JJ said wrapping her arms around his body placing a soft kiss on his cheek.

Henry had gone back downstairs allowing JJ to get dressed, she rested against the doorframe which led into the kitchen, her gaze solely on Emily, "You do know I can feel you" Emily mused as she turned around. JJ gave a shrug before making her way over to Emily wrapping her arms around her waist, her fingers gently running over Emily's bump.

"I love you" JJ whispered in Emily's ear causing Goosebumps to rise beneath her skin.

Emily leaned against the solid form behind her "I know." Emily let out a soft sigh before she spoke again. "I've asked Casey to take the children for the day, she will be here in about an hour" Emily said softly.

JJ frowned slightly. "Why?" she couldn't help asking. Emily shook her head as she struggled to find the right words to use, the normal 'we need to talk' could mean so many different things and Emily didn't want to worry JJ too much. So she settled for a half truth.

"I want us to spend some time alone" JJ pulled her closer as she nodded.

* * *

**Time: 09.17**

The children had left half an hour ago, Emily had made her way upstairs to take a much needed shower, leaving JJ cleaning the breakfast pots away, she slowly made her way upstairs she could hear the water running in the bathroom, she had known weeks ago that Emily wouldn't look at her any differently as she stripped off her clothes grabbing a spare towel out of the cupboard before making her way into the bathroom.

Emily was to lost in thought to even notice the door had been opened and shut again she jumped slightly as she felt the warm and slender arms of her wife wrap around her body, she couldn't help the moan that escaped her lips as she felt JJ's skin against her own. Her body shuddered slightly as JJ took hold of the sponge. It had been too long since JJ had done this too long of not feeling her wife's naked body against her own.

The pool of heat settled deep in her stomach as JJ continued to wash her body, before moving to wash her hair. Emily stilled JJ's hands pulling her body more firmly against her own.

"I love you so much Jen, I don't want to lose you" Emily let out in a choked breath. JJ placed a soft kiss against her neck as she spoke.

"You are not going to lose me Emily, but if you don't talk to me I'm going to lose you darling, you can't keep shutting me out, no matter what has happened I am still going to be here, the only way you will get rid of me is if you don't love me anymore," Emily leaned against her form more gaining strength off her. "What is it darling, what is eating you up so badly that you can't talk to me?" JJ asked softly. She could feel Emily's body shudder against hers, it was the one thing that told her that Emily was crying.

Emily didn't break down often and normally she would break down alone before finally talking to JJ. This time was different, this time Emily was already in tears and not running, not hiding away and it made JJ hold her tighter.

"Talk to me darling" JJ whispered softly.


	43. Chapter 43

**Location: Prentiss Household**

**Time: 10.13**

JJ guided Emily out of the shower wrapping the warmed towel around her body before wrapping a towel around her own. Emily was so quite her body shaking the tears streaming down her face. JJ knew that Emily had no control over her emotions right now. She was raw and vulnerable; JJ knew deep inside that this was different. This wasn't just a build-up of everything that had happened to their family this was something more, something deeper.

By the time they had both come downstairs there was an eerie silence, JJ wondered if her world was going to come crashing down around her, just how broken Emily seemed tore deep against her heart.

JJ had left Emily in the den while she made them both a drink she placed both their phones on silent so they wouldn't be disturbed. Emily was sat in the chair her legs curled underneath her body, her arms wrapped around her stomach as though the action would protect her. Her eyes fell on to JJ as she looked at her sadly, was this the moment she would lose her, she had readied herself for JJ walking away, the shouting and hurtful things that may come out of her sweet loving wife.

Though she knew deep down that JJ dissevered the truth, the truth which could leave her more heart broken and damaged than anything, it could leave her family broken and torn apart again, she wondered if JJ would hate her. She hated herself so why wouldn't JJ hate her as well. She couldn't look at her; she couldn't bear to look into the pale blue orbs. She found a patch on the carpet to stare at to focus on so she didn't have to look at her wife.

In truth Emily didn't want to take this to the new house, their new home was going to be their fresh start so to speak a building block to place everything behind them, place all the pain, hurt and fear they had come to know in this home in the past and the last thing Emily wanted was to take this with her, she needed JJ to know the truth, she would admit to was so scared JJ would turn and walk away, demand she place the baby up for adoption and each one of those things she could handle or would handle in time. Though the thing she couldn't handle was if she lost JJ because of it, Emily knew it wouldn't just be JJ she'd lose it would also be their children.

JJ could only sit across and wait for Emily to speak, she could only wait for Emily to open up to her, she knew she couldn't push she couldn't even try to lead the dance, she had to wait for Emily to start, for Emily to allow her guard down and talk to her.

The silence seemed to linger over them both for hours when in fact they had only been sat in silence for the past ten minutes; everything seemed longer while you were waiting for your world to come crashing down around you.

Emily didn't know where to begin even though the beginning would make more sense; she took a deep breath trying to calm herself slightly before she opened her mouth.

"I" Emily closed her eyes slightly, "Went to Boston, for a week before I travelled down to Texas." Emily sighed slightly. "For the first week I gathered intel of what I would be doing, we had set up a dummy run, Sofia would travel to México and bring back a shipment of heroin," she couldn't help the cold shiver that ran through her body, "I had passed the information on, so she would have safe passage back into Texas," Emily scoffed slightly as she shook her head. "She never made it back the information was never passed over to the border police, she had panicked and been fired upon as she tried to flee" Emily closed her eyes slightly still unable to look at JJ.

"I only found out because I was heavy handed with another member of my team," she allowed her eyes to make a quick glance at JJ, she could see the sadness and worry held in her blue orbs which only made her turn away again finding another place to focus her eyes on.

"Emily that wasn't your fault" JJ said softly.

Emily could only shake her head. "I trusted my handler again and I use that term loosely" Emily said with a slight shake of her head. "It reminded me of Doyle all over again. Being betrayed again, I allowed myself to trust them again. So yes it was partly my fault Jennifer" Emily voice was slightly colder than normal.

JJ could understand the hurt and the blame. She had been used before, trusted someone else before only to be hurt and torn apart and betrayed by the people that were supposed to protect her and yet again it had happened. "I should have known better." Emily said in a sigh.

JJ could only watch as Emily tormented herself all over again. JJ had known the Emily going undercover again could and would damage her but this wasn't just guilt or blame for what had happened to Sofia, this was the betrayal of trusting the people that were meant to protect her.

"Emily" JJ said in a hushed voice as Emily seemed too glared hard at the spot of the carpet. "What happened baby" JJ said carefully as she moved so she was now sat in front of Emily.

"There was a man on my team called Andrew Jones." Emily shook her head as she tried to close her emotions off, though the tears which formed in her eyes over took as they rolled down her cheeks. "I had been hard on him, pistol whipped him because he couldn't tell me why Sofia hadn't returned let alone tell me what had happened" Emily's voice trembled as she tried to control the sickness that was beginning to whirl in the pit of her stomach.

JJ's heart seemed to hammer against her rib cage as though it wanted to burst out of her chest. She took hold of Emily's trembling hand; Emily shook her head slightly she wanted so badly to pull away from JJ.

How could she tell her, she wouldn't just be admitting the assault she would also be ripping open the scars JJ had from her own abuse. She couldn't do that she couldn't hurt her wife more than she had already been hurt, but at the same time Emily knew she needed to be open with her she needed to allow her in.

JJ rubbed her fingers gently over Emily's trembling hand "Take your time darling" JJ said softly.

"A few weeks before I came back, we had taken a shipment of children, we held them in the cages in the warehouse awaiting instructions." Emily pulled away slightly the tears fell from her eyes. "I didn't want to Jen, they were so young, so scared and they had every right to be. I had no choice" Emily said in a choked breath.

"I had left one of the men to watch them while I got some rest," Emily wiped the tears from her cheeks before she carried on. "I should have got in sooner, I shouldn't have left them alone Jen." Her voice pleaded with JJ.

"Shh darling, stop blaming yourself" JJ's heart broke for her.

"When I went in, I saw red, I couldn't stop the anger and hate coming out, and I couldn't stop hitting him. I could hear the children crying, but all I could see was the small girl he had raped, I couldn't protect her. I should have protected her, it should never have happened. Everything she is going through is a direct result of my actions" Emily said, her voice full of hate, anger and disgust.

"Oh Emily," JJ said softly, she knew there was no point trying to tell her that it wasn't her fault because she knew Emily wouldn't hear it. "I don't blame you" JJ said as she cupped Emily's cheek. "I know you would have done anything to stop it from happening and you did darling, you got her out, you got that little girl to safety" JJ said softly.

"What about the others that I didn't get out, what about them Jen?" Emily said her voice broken.

"You can't think about that Emily, as hard as it sounds. You were sent in to-do an impossible job and you did it the best way you could. If you had done it any differently your cover would have been blown and I would have lost my wife" JJ said firmly.

"How can it be okay Jennifer, I was a part of it. I was there," Emily said as she broke down more. "I know what their lives are going to be, no happiness for them, their innocence being ripped away every day, being made to do things you wouldn’t wish on anyone. I was a part of that Jennifer,"

"I know you Emily. I know you would give your life for those children; you'd give your life for anyone so they don't feel pain, but the world doesn't work that way. I wish it did, but it doesn't." JJ said kindly.

The silence seemed to come over them both as Emily tried to gather her emotions under control, she knew she'd have to tell JJ about Andrew at some point she just wished she didn't need to.

"Three people are dead because of me Jennifer, three people lost their lives because of me how do I deal with that, how do I deal with seeing a child raped, how do I" Emily paused the bile raising deep in her throat as she pulled away from JJ, bolting out of the room.

JJ closed her eyes as she heard the distinct sound of Emily heaving, she made her way down the hall she looked at Emily slumped next to the toilet bowl. Kneeling behind her, she ran her fingers gently against her back as she held Emily's darkened hair away from her face just as Emily heaved again.

"Emily what happened to you" JJ said carefully.

"I can't, Jen I" Emily let out in a sob.

"You said three people are dead because of you," JJ said the cogs spun in her mind, "And you have told me that little girl is now safe" JJ paused slightly.

"Jen please" Emily begged slightly. "I…" Emily wished she could run and hide but she was now pinned in the downstairs bathroom, her stomach churning the bile burning her throat as she heaved again.

She couldn't take comfort from anything, everything was because of her. "Was it Andrew that hurt that little girl?" JJ asked carefully, Emily shook her head as the tears ran down her face. "What happened to him?" JJ asked as she ran her fingers through Emily's hair.

"He died" Emily said coldly. "Trust me the world is a better place without him" a shiver ran through her body as she spoke.

"What did he do to you Emily?" JJ asked as her heart pounded against her chest.

"Jen please" Emily said as the tears took hold of her.

"I need you to tell me Emily, please" JJ said more firmly than she meant to.

JJ's mind had already formed the answer but she needed Emily to tell her, she prayed she was wrong, she prayed it wasn't what she was thinking.

"It doesn't matter he's dead" Emily let out as the sobs took hold, "he's gone it doesn't matter" Emily said again as her body shook. "He can't do it again" Emily mumbled.

"Emily what did he do to you" JJ said firmly, she listened as Emily rambled and mumbled the reasons why it didn't matter, but JJ knew it mattered it was eating her up inside, it was consuming her.

"I'm fine" Emily tried though she knew it wouldn't work not because she was sobbing uncontrollably but because she knew JJ had already come to the conclusion of what he had done.

"Tell me" JJ said this time her voice was softer. "Emily, I love you so much but I need you to tell me baby. Please" JJ said as she wrapped her arms tightly around Emily.

"I killed him" Emily mumbled

"Why did you kill him?" JJ asked.

JJ was prepared to sit in the bathroom until Emily opened up to her fully, "He's dead, he" Emily paused trying to control herself, but even she knew she was too broken too hurt to exposed to hide it away again, it was at the front of her mind. She could taste him, she could smell him she could feel him again.

"Emily," JJ said softly

"Raped me" Emily let out in a whisper.

JJ pulled Emily against her body allowing her face to fall on her shoulder, her lips rested on top of her brown locks, "I've got you darling" JJ whispered as she rocked Emily slightly "I've got you"


	44. Chapter 44

**Location: Prentiss Household**

**Time: 13.08**

Time seemed to stay still as she rocked Emily in her arms, her heart broke more and more as Emily sob uncontrollably in her arms. "It was my fault" Emily mumbled. JJ placed a soft kiss on her head before she spoke.

"It wasn't your fault darling, you did nothing wrong. Do you hear me? You did nothing wrong" she repeated as she ran her fingers down her back.

"If I hadn't of been so hard on him. If I had handled him differently, then." Emily paused.

"Emily," JJ whispered softly "It wasn't your fault, none of what happened was your fault," JJ said as tears began to fall down her cheek. Emily shook her head unable to speak.

"You listen to me Emily, I know you, I know how kind you are and I also know you couldn't have known what he was truly capable of. It was his actions not yours," JJ said sadly.

"I'm sorry" Emily whispered as she held JJ tighter.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Emily." JJ closed her eyes slightly her fingers ran over the small bump, her eyes snapped open as Emily stilled her hand.

"What if it's his Jen," Emily let out in a sob. "What if" JJ swallowed thickly as the words hit her like a ten ton brick.

"What if it isn't Emily?" JJ asked trying to control the emotions swirling inside.

Emily's grip got tighter as she tried to gain control back over her emotions. "I know you already love this little one Emily and nothing can change that" JJ said softly.

"Can you love it?" Emily asked through the sobs.

JJ moved her hand out of Emily's as she began to run her fingers over her stomach. "I already love this little one" JJ whispered in Emily's ear. "Nothing will change that Emily."

* * *

**Time: 18.07**

JJ had finally settled Emily down, she had cried herself to sleep, JJ's heart broke more than ever before, she knew how she felt and feels. Though now she can only feel pain for her wife, she had hidden this not telling a sole being strong for her. Emily had been a rock for JJ to lean on.

JJ was dealing with her own abuse with the help of Emily, the weekly appointments with the therapist, sometimes it would hit her like a tidal wave but now all she felt was guilt.

She was so lost in thought that she never heard the footfalls coming down the stairs; she jumped slightly at the sound of Emily's voice. "I'm sorry" Emily whispered her voice raw from crying.

JJ turned giving her a warm smile. "You have no reason to be sorry" JJ said as she held out her hand motioning Emily to come to her. Emily gratefully took hold as she looked into sad blue orbs. She tugged gently on her hand so Emily would come closer allowing her to wrap her arms around her.

* * *

**Day & Time: Wednesday, 08.18.**

Something had settled inside JJ last night as she watched Emily sleep peacefully her fingers played patterns over the small bump as though everything was falling into place, neither of them where the same as they were back in January. So much had happened to them both, but yet they had already started to heal.

JJ knew they had a long way to go, not just coming to terms with things that had happened or things that they had seen. They needed a fresh start. Her eyes widened as things clicked into place a slight smile ghosted her lips, it wasn't anything to do with Emily opening up it was why.

In that moment she knew why Emily had opened up and it warmed her heart more than anything, she knew that moving wouldn't change the past but it was a total fresh start for them. It gave her more strength than ever, they would heal together.

She couldn't help thinking about the small life which was growing inside Emily, she knew if she had become pregnant from her abuse she wouldn't be able to keep it, but Emily was different she was stronger than she was.

JJ had got Casey to take Amy to school and asked her to taken Henry to the local play group so she would have a few hours alone with Emily. She slipped into their bathroom to take a much needed shower. Nothing had changed in her eyes, she just knew she needed to be there for Emily allowing them both to lean on each other when things became too much for them to handle. They were each other's rock.

She sat at the dresser just taking in everything around her, how could she be ashamed of her body, how could she be scared to allow Emily to see her, she took in the way that Emily would look at her it hadn't changed the love she held in those deep chocolate eyes showed how much love she had for her it was just a case of seeing past it herself. She now understood why Emily was so ashamed after Doyle even though she knew it was different in a way but much like Emily felt after she finally came home.

Maybe allowing Emily to see her body would help her heal more allowing Emily to kiss her scars like she had done with hers.

Emily's eyes opened slowly, they felt raw from the amount of crying the day before. Her hand reached over to find JJ though the sheets were slightly cold, she couldn't help the small sigh that escaped her lips, part of her wondered if she had done the correct thing, was there truly any point in telling JJ who was still coming to terms with everything or had she just added to JJ's pain. She couldn't help her mind spinning out of control, her eyes adjusted to the rays of sun sneaking through the cracks in the curtains.

"Morning beautiful" Emily couldn't help but smile at the sound of her wife; she moved her head to follow where the voice had come from.

"Morn" Emily didn't get chance to finish as her jaw gaped open slightly. Her eyes fixated on JJ's; the dampness of the water glistened against her skin. Emily could have groaned seeing her wife's half naked form.

JJ gave her an amused look, "God you're beautiful" Emily whispered just as JJ allowed her damp hair to fall against her skin. She could see the total love and lust held in Emily's eyes, the heat began to form in the pit of her stomach, and the warm dampness that settled between her legs was nothing to do with the shower she had just taken. JJ allowed a soft smile to ghost her lips as her eyes locked with Emily's.

She would admit she was nervous about this but the look in Emily's eyes calmed her slightly as she stood making her way over to the bed, she could see the glow Emily had about her and it only strengthened the desire and want that she felt.

Emily's eyes fell on JJ's lips as all words failed her; JJ seemed to have the effect to render her speechless. Gently she cupped JJ's cheek pulling her into a gentle kiss, which was full of love tenderness and a promise of trust. A slight moan filled the air, which neither of them was sure whom it came from.

"Jennifer" Emily husked as the kiss broke, JJ smiled softly her eyes searching the deep chocolate orbs in front of her that seemed to be raw with emotions and feelings. Emily looked into bright swirling blue eyes that held an underlining passion, JJ gently ran her fingers against Emily jaw line as she spoke.

"Yes baby?" Emily swallowed hard, her body emanating a heat deep inside which she had not felt for a long time.

Emily could not seem to find the words again so instead she thought it would be far easier to show her with a deep passionate kiss. Emily's tongue ran along JJ's bottom lip asking for entry, which JJ allowed all too willingly. Their tongues ran alongside one another deepening the kiss, only breaking when the need for air became an issues, JJ looked in too deep brown eyes which had darken with desire. Emily looked back into blue eyes, which seemed brighter than ever they were filled with a need and want, which Emily knew, and right now Emily wanted to receive.

As though JJ could read her thoughts she took Emily's hand in hers as she tucked a stray strand of brown hair behind Emily's ear, Emily could feel the love and tenderness with each movement.

She brought one hand away from her lower back bringing it up to her cheek gently running her finger along it before pulling Emily into a soft kiss. She ran her fingers softly down her neck as she deepened the kiss, Emily brought her hand up to hers as JJ broke the kiss to look in her eyes as she spoke "Allow me please" the request was so soft and filled with so much love Emily could only nodded her reply.

Emily swallowed as JJ peppered soft kisses up along her jaw line, pulling her closer as she made her way down her neck, listening to each soft moan that came from Emily.

JJ trailed kisses along her collarbone as her fingers slowly started to undo the first button with each movement with each button revealing more skin she worshipped the area though she stayed away from her breasts, she wanted to leave those for now.

Emily moaned softly with each kiss letting out a soft gasp when JJ found a rather sensitive spot, JJ's fingers trailed over her stomach she smirked feeling the muscles contract under the tips of her fingers as her nails gently grazed the skin, Emily could not help but run her fingers gently through the blonde's hair causing her to look up for a moment.

Emily watched in awe as JJ removed her towel her soft firm breast made Emily lick her lips and JJ couldn't help but smirk as she moved to the other side of the bed to get in her naked body brushed softly against Emily's, she slowly leaning in to pull, Emily into a deep loving kiss.

She softly kissed her way along her chest before taking the very taut nipple between her lips, gently nipping before soothing it with her tongue as she sucked gently against her skin as Emily moaned deeply the sensation caused her to gasp gently against JJ's hair as she gently played with it her fingers softly scraping her scalp causing JJ to moan against her breast. She repeated the same action on the other nipple as one hand toyed with her other breast.

Slowly she made her way down her torso running her tongue along her stomach JJ could not help but watch in amazement at her muscles contracted underneath her as Emily's back arched towards her one hand still in her hair as the other held the sheets inn a death grip. Her mind could not even comprehend a coherent thought lost in the throes of her arousal; the moans flowed into the room as she tried to keep herself quite.

Fingers trailed first down the outside of her thighs as JJ kissed over her hips gently sucking in places causing Emily to mummer her name, her hips bucked slightly as nails grazed the inside of her thigh towards her groin causing her to moan deeply and loudly "God Jennifer" she moaned out.

JJ repeated the exact same action she had on her arms on Emily's legs, as JJ ran her tongue along her instep of her foot Emily's toes curled as an orgasm ripped through her body. JJ smirked as she waited for the shuddered to settle before continuing her ministrations.

"Fuck yes" Emily nearly screamed as JJ's mouth pressed against her pubic bone, silently thankfully she had trimmed the area a few days ago, Emily couldn't help but run her fingers through JJ's hair as she fully settled between her legs she stole a glance up at Emily which in turn caused her to moan against her core, Emily's eyes where nearly black with desire, taking a deep breath Emily's arousal attacked her senses causing her body to shudder in pleasure, gently she ran her tongue along the outside of her folds causing Emily to whimper slightly.

As soon as JJ dipped her tongue into the moist folds gently dipping into the entrance of her core, another orgasm ripped through her body, it was so powerful more powerful than anything she had ever felt her hips bucked uncontrollably against JJ causing her to place her hand on her hips to still her, she felt Emily tense slightly at the movement she looked up at her softly looking for any sign she wanted her to stop the second their eyes locked she relaxed again.

JJ settled back down between her legs as her tongue ran over her clit causing Emily to scream her name at the tail end of a deep moan. Her fingers toyed between her folds taking in the juices and essence that was solely Emily the scent was intoxicating to her. JJ had not noticed how close she was to her own climax as it ripped through her body causing her to moan deeply against Emily's core, sending vibrations deep within her body.

She sucked gently before nipping against her clit as her tongue soothed it straight away.

The tears seeped from her eyes as JJ gently placed a finger inside side her rocking it lovingly against her before adding another keeping her movement slow as she trailed kisses back up her body as she moved so her own centre was rubbing against her thigh Emily could feel the wetness on her skin causing her to moan out JJ's name as soft words attacked her ears.

"Open your eyes for me baby" JJ whispered "I want to see you."

Emily struggled to open her eyes but when she did, she looked in to deeply loving eyes as the words fell from her lips "I love you" her voice filled with so much emotion that pushed JJ over the edge, before pushing Emily into another orgasm.

JJ slowly extracted her body off the top of Emily once the wave of climax had subsided pulling Emily into a loving kiss, Emily tasted herself on JJ's lips, as she was unable to hold in the moan as the blonde pulled away so she was able to wrap her arms around her pulling her close. Emily's head rested against JJ's chest as her fingers ran against her naked skin. JJ placed a soft kiss on her forehead as she whispered "I love you too Emily"

Emily moved slightly as her body ceased to tremble from the amount of orgasms her wife had given her, her fingers ran softly over the scars that were latent on her body. She smiled softly as she took in the swirling blue orbs, she moved again as she began to kiss each and every mark on JJ's skin. In effect she was loving and claiming each one as her own much like JJ had done with the scars Doyle had given her.

This was something Emily wanted to drag out, she wanted to pour ever ounce she had for JJ in each touch and each kiss, JJ's skin seemed to glow in the morning light she could feel JJ squirm underneath her and she waited to be asked to stop but instead all she heard were quiet moans and groans as Emily's touch seemed to heal her body.


	45. Chapter 45

**Location: Prentiss Household**

**Day & Time: Saturday, 07.45**

They had both been woken by Henry jumping on the bed, all three of them groaned as Henry woke them before flinging his body at Emily. Though none of them had move Emily was busy amusing Henry, it seemed things were becoming more normal, Amy stayed curled into JJ's side.

"How is he so hyper" Amy grumbled.

JJ chuckled slightly "He's four" JJ said softly.

Amy huffed "That really isn't an answer Mom"

JJ chuckled slightly "From what your Ma has told me you were just as bad" JJ mused slightly.

"I seriously doubt that"

Amy stayed curled into JJ's side as Henry seemed to settle down slightly which allowed Emily to finally move so she was able to make them both a drink. The morning sickness had passed which enabled Emily to be able to drink de-caff coffee.

"What time did you say they were coming?" JJ half shouted as Emily made her way back upstairs with the two cups of coffee. Emily had already winced once she had seen the time, she made her way back into the bedroom she gave a half smile as she looked at the clock again

"8.30"

JJ looked at her wide eyed "There is now way on this earth I am going to be ready in 45 minutes" JJ grumbled as Emily handed her the much needed coffee.

"I am quite sure they will wait, besides they know what we are like, it isn't as though it is the first time we have been late."

"You've sent Morgan a text haven't you" JJ smirked as Emily handed over the coffee.

"How did you guess that" Emily said with a slight wink. "They will be here around 9.30 which gives us all plenty of time to get ready" Emily said with a pointed look at Amy.

"I guess that's my cue to go and get changed" Amy said in a sarcastic tone.

"Yes and if you're ready before us can you help little man" JJ said as Amy moved out of JJ's arms.

"Will do, come on buddy lets go and get changed" Amy said as she walked around to Emily's side of the bed picking Henry up, "Don't take too long Mom" Amy smirked before heading out the bedroom.

"I swear that child takes after you" JJ said with a pointed look.

"Nope she just knows it takes you ages to get dressed" Emily said with a smirk.

"That's only because your wardrobe consist mainly of black pants and a few different colours of tops" JJ teased slightly.

"And that is why it doesn't take me an hour to get ready" Emily teased slightly.

Emily allowed JJ to take a shower first as she began to pull her clothes out to wear, she stood in front of the mirror looking at the small bump but as she stood in front of the mirror she looked in shock, the small bump seemed to have grown all at once.

"Guess I am going to need some new clothes little one." Emily mused, she couldn't remember being big when she was excepting Amy, but it felt a life time ago, she hadn't heard JJ come out of the bathroom, JJ stood the towel wrapped around her body as she studied Emily.

"You are so beautiful" JJ said softly as she made her way over to Emily, she wrapped her damp arms around Emily waist her fingers gently stroking her stomach. "New clothes needed" JJ mused as she drew patterns over Emily's stomach.

"I can’t remember being this Jen" Emily said softly as she leaned into the solid form behind her.

"I like it" JJ said playfully. Though in truth she couldn't get enough of Emily, her normal scent seemed so much sweeter than normal there was a glow about her which JJ couldn't resist she had always looked at Emily in awe but now she couldn’t take her eyes off her, she could swear that Emily was more beautiful now than ever. In all JJ loved the sight of Emily being pregnant.

Emily chuckled slightly "Are you sure you're okay with this" Emily asked as her fingers wrapped around JJ's.

"I am sure, the question is, are you Emily?" JJ asked softly as she placed a soft kiss on Emily's collar bone.

"I am, we have tried for so long Jen, so many times I can't abandon this one just because he might be his," Emily said as she closed her eyes.

"Emily this little one is a part of you, nothing can change that, and peanut will grow to be like us both just like Amy and Henry are," JJ said softly giving Emily slight comfort.

"I don't want to know if this one is his Jen" Emily said turning so she was able to look in JJ's eyes.

"We don't need to find out, but if you ever change your mind we can look at it then, I love you and I love peanut, Emily and that will never change"

Emily smiled softly at her as she pulled her into a soft kiss. "You always know what to say" Emily said as she pulled back.

JJ couldn't help but smirk "Not always Em, but with you it is different I know you, I know our children and nothing can change that, I only know what to say because I love you so much and I know you so well." JJ said as she finally moved out of the embrace. "Go and get a shower while I look to see if I can find you some bigger pants" JJ chuckled slightly as Emily huffed.

* * *

**Time: 09.27**

Emily shifted slightly as JJ placed the drink in front of her. "As soon as we get into town we will get you some pants and you can then change into them" JJ said as she moved to rub Emily's shoulders, "I also think it may be a good idea to get a few of the next size up and maybe then we can look at getting you some maternity clothes."

Amy chuckled "I'm sure if its black Ma will wear it" JJ rolled her eyes slightly.

The slight knocking on the door pulled JJ's attention "I'll go and let them in" JJ said softly as she moved towards the door way.

JJ couldn't help but laugh as Amy tackled Garcia "Hey munchkin" Garcia said as she wrapped her arm around her before making her way into the kitchen.

"Uncke Derk" Henry hollered as Morgan picked him up.

"Hey little man" Morgan raised his eyebrow as he looked at Emily to which she nodded her head, he smiled as he sat down next to her.

"Mom how do they do that?" Amy asked as she watched her Ma and Uncle Derek.

JJ chuckled slightly "When I work it out I'll let you know" JJ said as she placed the cups down on the kitchen table.

"So where we going first?" Morgan asked.

"First Emily needs some new pants and then we need to look for new things for the house" JJ said softly.

Morgan looked at Emily before his eyes fell on the bump he turned his head as he looked at her waist "they don't fit do they" Morgan said in laugh. Emily half punched his side as he poked fun at her.

"Don't even go there, I may be pregnant but I can still whip your ass" Emily said

"Touché"

JJ shook her head slightly as she watched them both. "Are you sure they aren't married?" Garcia asked looking between Morgan and Emily.

"Sometimes I ask myself the same thing" JJ shrugged "He's her work husband" JJ said as she chuckled slightly.

"Hey that's not fair" Morgan said looking straight at JJ.

"It's true" Garcia replied Emily shook her head.

"I wouldn't even bother trying to argue the point" Emily said.

* * *

**Time: 10.45**

Emily had finally managed to find some pants she could fit into without feeling restricted, "She looks stunning" Garcia said as Emily tried on a pale blue top to go with her trousers.

"I know" JJ mused not really paying much attention other than drooling over Emily as she came out of the fitting room. "Wow" JJ said as Emily looked at her.

"You like?" Emily asked.

"Nope" JJ said as she paused "I love it" she said with a soft smile ghosting her lips.

"Do you think they'll let me keep them on to pay, those pants are so uncomfortable" Emily said her eyes pleading with JJ slightly.

JJ chuckled "I’ll go and find out"

"Are you sure you're ready to come back to work" Morgan asked as he wrapped his arm around Emily.

"I am, I can't sit in that house any longer and in truth Morgan I'm not 100% comfortable with Jennifer going back to work without me" Emily said.

They watched Garcia, JJ and the children as they walked slowly behind them so they could talk without anyone hearing them. "Did you tell her everything?" Morgan asked

"I did" Emily shook her head slightly

"What is it?"

Emily smiled "I get the slight impression she already knew"

Morgan nodded "Maybe but thinking it and knowing it are two different things and you know that princess"

"I know but I can't help thinking I've added to her pain, she is only just coming to terms with everything, and then I go and drop a stupid bombshell on her, how is that fair?" Emily asked slightly louder than she meant to, causing the small group in front to turn around. JJ could only close her eyes as she looked at them both, she knew they were both having a heart to heart as JJ pulled Garcia and the children forward allowing them both the privacy to talk.

"Jayj?" Garcia asked softly "What did she mean by bombshell?" Garcia asked as she turned her head to look at her two friends.

"Not now Pen" JJ said as she raised her eyebrows looking at the two bodies next to them.

"I agree with it being a bombshell, but I do not agree with it being stupid. You needed to tell her Emily. Have you added to her pain and worry, maybe but that is a risk we all take when we finally open up to someone and allow them in. I know you better than most and I know you wouldn't have wanted to add to her pain but also you shouldn't deal with something like this on your own. You need each other." Morgan said.

Emily couldn't help but chuckle "You missed your calling" she teased slightly. "I know your right Morgan I just wish none of this had happened." Emily said sadly.

"You can't change the past you can only learn from and it and move forward you can't allow the events which have happened control your future." Emily could only nod as they caught up the group in front.

"Everything okay?" JJ asked giving Morgan a pointed look.

"Didn't want to leave this one behind" he teased as Emily dug her knuckles into his side.

"Everything's fine sweetheart" Emily reassured though she knew JJ hadn't bought it fully.

"So what colour are you going with in the nursery?" Garcia asked as they entered the store.

"We were thinking green and then stencils of animals" Emily said with a slight shrug.

"Do you have a moving date yet?" Morgan asked as they looked at the nursery furniture.

"Hopefully two weeks" Emily said softly as her fingers ran over the rocking chair.

They had spent most of the day ordering things for the new house, Henry was fast asleep wrapped up in Morgan's arms as they made their way back to the car, "I think this one is worn out" Morgan said as he placed him securely in his car seat.

Emily smiled softly "Are you two going to stay for something to eat?" Emily asked as they headed back home.

The rest of the day seemed to fly by before they knew it Amy was asleep curled up with Garcia, Emily was asleep in JJ's arms, Morgan couldn't help but chuckle as he looked at his friends "I think we should get going" Morgan said softly, JJ shook her head.

"You both might as well stay over, it’s late" JJ said as she started to wake Emily so they could turn in for the night.


	46. Chapter 46

**Location: Prentiss Household.**

**Day & Time: Monday, 05.46**

Emily had been up since 5am; Amy had disturbed her as she crawled into bed with them. She didn't hear the tiny patter of feet against the kitchen floor as she moved on to the task of making breakfast and drinks for everyone, she had known the children and herself would be awake before JJ, they had fallen back into the normal routine and if Emily was honest she missed the normalcy which came with family life.

"Ma?" Amy mumbled as she perched herself on the stool, Emily smiled as she turned around.

"Yes sweetheart?" Amy shifted slightly making herself more comfortable.

"Are you sure Mom is ready to go back?" Emily turned the burner off before making her way to her daughter; she cupped her chin gently so she could look into concerned hazel eyes.

"She feels she is ready Amy, I can't say if she is or isn't, but it her choice to go back." Emily said softly. "I will be with her and so will the rest of the team and she also knows if she needs to leave she can."

Amy nodded slightly "What if you have a case?"

Emily chuckled slightly "If we have a case we have a case and the same drill as always will happen, you will get a phone call" Emily said in amusement.

"I don't want you in the field Ma, what if something happens to you? To peanut?"

Emily closed her eyes slightly. "I want you to listen to me okay; I won't be in the field I will be staying at the station with your Mom. Can you really see Uncle Morgan allowing me in the field, let alone the backlash we would receive off your Aunt Pen." Emily smiled softly "Morgan I can cope with your Aunt Pen's temper is another thing" Emily said as she kiss Amy's forehead.

JJ had listened to the conversation Emily and Amy were having she made her way into the kitchen making a slight noise so they both could hear her.

"Morning" JJ said with a soft smile, she wrapped her arm around Amy as she placed a soft kiss on her cheek "Morning sweetie" Amy leaned into the embrace she frowned slightly.

"Where's Henry?" Amy asked as she looked for her little brother who was no wherein sight.

"Still asleep" JJ said with a chuckle. "Never thought I'd see the day that I'd be up before him"

Emily rolled her eyes "I'll remind you of that when he's a teenager and him not getting up all day"

"Right you two, I am going to take a quick shower while you two have your breakfast" Emily said as she placed a kiss on JJ's cheek.

"Do you want me to get Henry up Ma?"

Emily shook her head "I'll wake him once I've gotten dressed"

* * *

**Time: 07.16**

The screaming and cry's broke both JJ's and Emily's heart as they closed the door leaving Casey to settle him down. Both of them could understand his behaviour they could only hope there was no case waiting for them so they would be home to put their baby boy to bed and help settle his fear.

"Do you think he will be okay?" JJ asked as Emily started the car.

"He will settle down in time, I think he will be worse when we go away on a case" Emily said with a slight sigh. "He will soon settle down Jennifer just give him some time" Emily gave her a weak smile as she squeezed her hand. "Are you sure you're ready for this Jen?" Emily asked as they headed towards the BAU.

"I can't stay at home Em, I can't let him win. I love my job just as much as you do and I refuse to allow what happened dictate my future" JJ said firmly. Emily couldn't help but chuckle slightly. "What?"

Emily shook her head "Nothing darling just nice to have you back" Emily said with an amused tone in her voice.

* * *

**Location: BAU**

**Time: 08.15**

Emily scowled slightly as she looked at her desk, the files seemed to tower her desk more than normal "What the hell?"

Emily said as she looked at Morgan. "Don't ask me Prentiss."

She looked at JJ "This is going to be one long ass day" she mumbled slightly.

"Who put all those files on her desk?" JJ asked, Morgan ducked his head slightly.

"Jordan, JJ you know what those files are and you also know what she specialises in"

JJ let out a sigh. "No chance of being gentle on her, on her first day back then?" JJ said as she made her way through the bullpen towards her office.

JJ could have screamed as she walked into her office, her filing system had completely gone out the window, "How the hell am I meant to find anything" JJ muttered as she closed the door. Not only would she have to go through each and every file she would have to resort her whole filing system.

Her door opened slightly as Hotch poked his head in "Nice to have you back" he gave a smile though it changed as he saw the look JJ had on her face. "JJ what's wrong?" he asked now stepping further into her office.

"Why do people think it is a good idea to mess my whole filing system, not only has she given Emily over 20 consults to do she has messed everything up." JJ's eyes blazed slightly at him.

"JJ, she was here for months not exactly her fault" he tried softly.

"Not her fault, seriously you are telling me she had every right to move things around change my whole damn office because I have been off work for a few months. Was she hoping I that I didn't come back" JJ said slightly louder than she meant to"

Emily's head snapped round hearing the raised voices coming from JJ's office, though Hotch's wasn't as loud as her wife's. Morgan grimaced slightly knowing exactly why JJ was in a term pissed. Emily looked at Morgan as she moved.

"Prentiss, I wouldn't or she will bite your head off as well" he warned slightly.

"What did Jordan do?" Emily asked with a sigh.

"JJ now has a desk that you can see"

Emily's eyes went wide. "Oh she didn't" Morgan nodded "And not one of you warned her that JJ would be after her blood for it?" Emily said giving a pointed look.

"She had this idea that JJ wouldn't come back and that she would then be made a permanent member of the team. Trust me we tried to warn her"

Emily closed her eyes "Safe to say you all failed at that then" Emily couldn't help the slight chuckle as she listened to JJ rant at Hotch.

"What's so funny?" Reid asked as he finally walked into the bullpen, "Welcome back" he said softly taking his seat.

"Thanks" she looked back at JJ's office "Do you think I should go and save him?" Emily mused.

"Nope he's big enough to handle your wife and her temper." Morgan said with a slight smile. "Though I do think we better get some work done, last thing I want is her aiming her temper at me" Morgan said opening his first consult of the day.

"Sounds like a good plan" Emily mused.

* * *

**Time: 16.45**

Emily had only managed to get a third of the way through the consults each one was taking more out of her than normal, each time she read a report her heart broke, she hadn't even noticed that tears where rolling down her cheek. Emily flinched slightly as a hand rested on her shoulder, she turned to look at the person who still had their hand firmly on her shoulder.

"Hey" Emily said moving the consult slightly away from her.

JJ raised her eyebrow slightly as she studied her wife for a moment. "The consults can wait till tomorrow sweetheart let's get you home" JJ said softly.

JJ had spent the whole day sorting out her office so things where back the way she liked them, Morgan had pulled her attention a short while ago as he watched Emily struggle with the consults. Emily could only nod as she closed the file on her desk JJ gave a thankful smile to Morgan as she picked up Emily's bag.

The drive home had been one made in silence JJ cut the engine as she took hold of Emily's hand, she had known that their first day back would have been harder on Emily than herself, she had to read reports of children and what had happened to her. JJ also knew deep down how damaged Emily's mind was despite the front she put on for everyone else.

"Em," JJ said softly, "Why don't you go and get changed and then spend some alone time with Henry" JJ said softly. Emily nodded slightly as she struggled to find any words. JJ gave her a loving smile before they both made their way to the front door.


	47. Chapter 47

**Location: BAU**

**Month & Time: 30 June, 09.45**

It had been a hard few weeks for them both, JJ's nightmares had become worse and Emily was struggling with the consults which filled her desk. Though their new home seemed to be helping them settle more and also they were healing slowly. They had been back nearly a month now there had been a few cases which they had both found hard. It was nothing to do with their work but it was taking a strain on the children, more so with Henry. He was so scared that they were both going to leave him again.

Each time they went away they would phone home and it would take Emily singing to him for him to settle, she blamed herself for his unrest, if she hadn't of gone undercover his little mind wouldn't be scared that neither of them were coming back. Garcia had been great and stopping at the house while they were away anything to help poor Henry settle. Though nothing truly worked until the pair walked back through the front door and he was able to wrap his arms around Emily.

"Guys," JJ said looking into the bullpen "We have a case" holding up the file, she could hear the groans coming from both Morgan and Emily, JJ couldn't help shaking her head as she placed a file on the table for each of them.

"This is your entire fault Morgan" Emily mumbled as they walked into the conference room.

"Do I even want to know?" JJ asked.

Morgan held his hands up "Nope"

Emily's eyes seemed to blaze into the back of his head. "Next time you're bored keep it to yourself" Emily muttered as she sat down next to him. JJ rolled her eyes slightly as they waited for Hotch and Rossi to join them.

"The bodies of three children have been found in Reeves Texas." JJ said as she pulled the pictures up on the screen, "No one has stepped forward or reported the children missing, and as you can see their hands show signs of restraints were use."

"Have they managed to get finger prints off the bodies?" Emily asked "Or dental" she paused, the bodies were badly decomposed their faces unrecognisable. "Look at those markings, not the typical markings which you would find with normal restraints" Reid said.

"Wheels up in thirty" Hotch said as each of them made their way back into the bullpen, "You okay princess?" Morgan asked.

Emily picked up her phone so she could ring Casey. "Just great" Emily said.

"He will be okay Emily, once he knows that you both always come home he will settle down" Morgan offered as so type of comfort.

"The problem with that Morgan is neither of us can promise him that." Emily gave a weak smile as she began to talk to Casey.

Emily was finding it harder and harder to leave him, part of her wondered if it was because he was so scared that neither of them were going to come back or was it all just too much for her. JJ had known Emily was struggling since she had come back to work. Each time they had come home Emily would spend a few hours playing with Henry or just holding him in her arms as they watched cartoons. There were just no compartments she could place the things she had done and seen in.

* * *

 

**Time: 11.43**

They sat in the middle of the jet; it would take a good few hours to land in Texas which gave them time to go through the files more carefully, enabling them to work on a rough profile before they landed.

"This can't just be the work of one unsub" Emily said softly as she looked at the coroner's report.

"Why do you say that?" Morgan asked as he too looked at the report.

"If you take away the signs of sexual abuse they had been cared for, they weren't just dumped in the woods, they seemed to be laid in the woods, and someone had taken great care in placing them. If it was just one person they wouldn't take the time." Emily said as she looked at him.

"Reeves County covers 2,635.38 square miles with an estimated population of 13,783" Reid said as he looked at the crime scenes, the bodies had been found in different locations the only thing tying the murders together where the way they had been tortured.

"From the rate of exposure it is possible that there is more than one unsub, though the rate of exposure may be nothing to do with how long their bodies had been placed there, they may have been kept somewhere else." JJ closed her eyes.

"We have a lot of ground to cover, Reid you and JJ go to the station and start a geographical profile, Morgan and Prentiss, go to the crime scenes and see if there is anything linking your theories together, Rossi and I will go to the morgue and see if anything has been left out of the report." Hotch finished telling them to get some rest so they could hit the ground running once they landed.

The last thing any of them wanted was there to be more bodies. JJ sat across from Emily studying her for a moment before she spoke, "What is it Emily?" JJ asked carefully.

Emily's eyes were fixated on the file in front of her. "Those markings look to have been made by chains, the ankles and wrists all match," JJ gave her a soft smile, she knew she wouldn't be able to offer any words of comfort to her wife the only thing she could do was be there for her when they got to the hotel or be her rock when things became too much.

"Get some rest Em" JJ said softly as her hand rested on top of Emily's.

Emily couldn't help the nagging feeling she had building inside.


	48. Chapter 48

**Location: Reeves Local Park**

**Day & Time: Monday, 14.07**

Morgan and Emily made their way down the track until they came upon the local police officers, "Agent Morgan and Agent Prentiss from the BAU" Morgan said as they both flashed their badges before the officer gave them permission to go under the tape.

The forensic team was still gathering evidence, "This was where the body was found" Officer Adams said as he greeted them both.

Emily looked around noticing that the body wasn't well hidden the track they had walked down was well used she knelt down so she was able to get a better eye line of their surroundings. Morgan watched her as she began to walk down the small embankment.

"When was the body discovered?" Morgan asked.

"Around 8am this morning, a dog walker stumbled across it while walking his dog,"

Morgan gave a kind smile "had it been disturbed much?" he asked though his eyes still tracked Emily who was now walking a small circle around the crime scene.

"The dog had disturbed the ground slightly, but otherwise not that we can tell.

Emily made her way back up the path, "Anyone could have seen the body, there is a clear view in each direction" she said making her way over to the officer and Morgan. "The other bodies that were found, where they exposed like this one?" Emily asked

"Yes, each scene has been the same, though we haven't been able to get anything other than they must have been dumped in the early hours in the morning, each victim was discovered between 7-8am." He said as he walked back towards the cars with them.

"Thank you, we are going to have a look at the other crime scenes and then we will head back to the station" Morgan said.

"Would you like me to join you?" Adams asked.

"No, we have the directions, we like to get an unbiased look" Morgan said.

Emily chuckled slightly "Fresh eyes" she said softly to which the officer nodded.

"If you need anything ring the station" he said with a nod.

"You still have a way of nearly rubbing people up the wrong way" Emily mused as she got into the car.

"What its true" Morgan said in defence.

"May be true but you just nearly told him he hadn't done a proper job" Emily said with a slight laugh "Just drive" Emily said softly.

* * *

 

 **Location:** **Police Station**

The sergeant had shown them both to a room that they would be able to use, "Do you have a map I will be able to use?" Reid asked as JJ began to sort through the reports and statements that they had.

"Sure, I will have one brought in for you" he said kindly. "I want this bastard caught fast" he muttered slightly. JJ knew that all officers had a strong distaste for anyone that hurt children and the injuries that these three victims had. JJ could only nod in agreement with him.

Reid spent the next half an hour pinpointing the locations each victim was found and the times there bodies had been discovered. "Calculating the distance between each dump site, it may be possible that we are looking at a team" he said as he took hold of another statement.

"You think Emily's right?" JJ asked as she looked up at him.

"Give or take traffic each sight is about 15 minutes apart, the bodies were discovered within an hour of each other, though the third body wasn't discovered till a day after, and looking at the ME's report they all have the same exposure." Reid said.

"I get the feeling the body count is going to get higher before we find them" JJ said softly.

"The sad fact is the more victims we have the easier it will be to catch them. I find it strange that no missing person's reports have been filed for them. Are we sure the victims are from around here and not from neighbouring counties" Reid said.

"I'll ask them to reach out to the neighbouring police forces" JJ said.

This was the part she hated trying to get local police stations to help each other was always hard work. It didn't matter who the victims were it was all about results in each departments and it was of little comfort that the BAU didn't run on results their sole goal was to help local departments catch the people responsible for the crimes.

* * *

 

**Five Months Earlier.**

"I want those cages cemented into the ground" she ordered.

"You want them what?"

She growled slightly "Do I need to repeat myself every time or do I need to do it myself?" she said firmly.

"No Ma'am," he said, he was weary of her they all were, "What exactly are we holding here?" he asked carefully.

"It is none of your concern, if you have a problem with it I can always find another team" she ground out. He nodded slightly as he started to see some of her temper.

"I told you not to question her" the other man whispered.

"Is she really as ruthless as she makes out?”

He laughed slightly "She's worse" he gave a pointed look "Don't ask question, don't question her and never give her a reason to replace you" he warned slightly.

"I can always find another gig if this doesn't pan out" he said lightly.

"When she says she will get another team it means you will be leaving in a body bag. Did you not listen when I offered you this job?" he asked as he started to pour the cemented into the ground sealing in the metal poles.

Simon paled slightly, "I thought that was just for show?" he said slightly.

"Oh yeah it is but she also backs up on what she says. I remember her when I first met her. She already was a big name in the underground, able to get her hands on the most deadliest of weapons, and believe me anyone that question her or tried to betray her ended up at the morgue" he whispered.

"Do you want the hooks cemented in as well?" Tony asked.

"Yes as well as the walls" she said firmly before making her way over.

"I want you to weld these chains to each of them, leaving enough room for someone to be able to stand and sit down," Tony frowned slightly.

"What type of length are you thinking?" he asked carefully.

"Just long enough for a six year old" she said firmly before walking away.

"Children? I thought you said this was drug and guns. You said nothing about children" Simon said in shock.

Tony shook his head, "I had no clue either" he said before shrugging his shoulders and carrying on.

* * *

 

**Location: Reeves Police Station.**

Hotch and Rossi made their way into the small room, "The ME thinks they had been held for months, even though the bodies are badly decomposed there are some tell tail signs that the victims had pressure sores" Rossi said just as Emily and Morgan walked in.

"What did you find out?" Hotch asked looking at Morgan.

"Seems they had been laid to rest not your normal body dump" Morgan said as JJ handed him a coffee.

"Each site had clear view from each angle; anyone could have spotted the bodies." Emily said with a sigh.

"I've asked them to ask the other counties if they have any reports about missing children" JJ said carefully as she watched Emily.

"The ME thinks that the restraints used were made by chains but he can't be sure" Hotch said just as the phone rang.

"Garcia, I want you to run a search seeing if there has been any reports of missing children, or if any other victims have turned up in the neighbouring counties" Hotch said.

"I'll hit you back" Garcia said as she cut the call short.

"The crime scenes all seem to be near the boarders of Jeff Davis and Pecos." Reid said as he pin pointed each dump site with different colours.

"Two boys and one girl" he mumbled. Emily paled slightly as Reid mentioned the two counties. "I need some air" Emily mumbled before leaving the room.

 


	49. Chapter 49

**Location: Hotel**

**Time: 21.05**

"Emily?" JJ said softly. Emily had been quite since they had gone for dinner and had withdrawn more since they had retreated to their room.

Emily looked at her "I don't know if I can do this Jen" Emily said as she got into bed.

"Do what darling, this case?"

Emily shook her head, "I can't keep leaving them Jen" Emily said as tears began to form in her eyes. JJ knew part of it was the hormones as she had gone through the same feelings with Henry, but with everything else which had happened the past few years she knew it was more than that.

Emily's mind had always been fragile and no one aside from JJ knew that, even Morgan, as close as they were she would never allow him to see how close she was or is to snapping and walking away from the job.

"I don't like leaving them either Emily," JJ sighed slightly "But I also know I can't walk away from this job." She said as she wrapped her arms around Emily's stomach, her fingers trailed over the bump. "You know I will always support you Emily, and when we get back home we will talk this through and then if you still feel the same we will deal with it" JJ said as she rested her hand one the scar on her chest.

"Would you think less of me Jen?" Emily asked softly.

"Oh darling I would never think any less of you, whatever you choose I will never look at you or think any differently that I can promise"

Emily ran her fingers gently through JJ's hair "I love you Jen" she whispered.

* * *

 

**Time: 04.45**

The constant ringing woke them both "Prentiss" Emily mumbled her voice full of sleep.

"There has been another body, Morgan is on his way up to you" Hotch said. Emily frowned slightly as she rocked JJ to wake her.

"We will be ready in ten" Emily said as she cut the phone off. "Jen they've found another body." Emily said as JJ began to stir "Morgan is on his way up" Emily chuckled slightly.

This was the only time JJ was able to get changed within five minutes "Not a word agent Prentiss" JJ said as she brushed through her hair.

"Not a word" Emily mused closing her lips.

* * *

 

**April 23.**

"Any word yet?" Simon asked as he walked back into the warehouse.

"Nothing, I've been to her place and nothing" Tony said as he looked at the children.

"What are we meant to do; it has been weeks since we last saw her. You don't think she has been caught do you?" Simon asks.

"Her caught, seriously I doubt it, she is too careful to be caught." Tony said. "And besides that, she doesn't get her hands dirty, she might just be meeting with buyers for these" he said as he looked at the children.

"True, not like anyone will report these as missing" Simon said in a slight laugh.

"What's her deal anyway?" Simon asked as he started to open the door to one of the cages.

"Her deal?" Tony asked slightly confused.

"Never met someone like her before" he mused slightly.

"Make you look twice at any other woman right?" Tony chuckled.

"I remember her from years ago, always true to her word and I have witnessed what has happened or can happen to people who cross her"

Simon frowned, "So why she kill Andrew?" Simon asked.

Tony swallowed thickly, "Not really your business, some things are just best not knowing about. Look she will turn up and if you damage a hair on their heads you will be at the morgue before you even have chance to answer her first question" he warned.

"Come on," Simon said "I'll pay for it if I need to" he mused.

Tony looked at him "You sick bastard" he growled out.

"Even Lauren wouldn't stoop that low, and the last person that touched one of those kids ended up dead."

"Okay so selling them is fine, touching them is a whole different ball game, what does she thinks happens to these kids once she hands them over" Simon said in a slightly raised voice.

"Trafficking and doing are completely different you moron, Lauren knows what she is selling these kids into and what they will be used as, but that doesn't give anyone a right to touch them when they are in her care" Tony said firmly. "Plus who wants to buy damaged goods" Tony said as Simon closed the cage before locking it back up.

"I get it" he said quietly.

* * *

 

**Time: 05.21**

Emily stood at the side of the crime scene the victim was not as decomposed as the others, Morgan knelt down at the side of the victim so he was able to get a better look at the marking of the wrists and ankles.

"These look like chain mark, who on earth uses chains on children" Morgan said with a slight disgust.

All Emily could do is look at the body, she closed her eyes slightly "I feel sick" she whispered.

"Prentiss?" Morgan said as he looked at her, her pale skin tone seemed white as though all the colour had been drained out of her face, "Are you okay?" he asked the concern evident in his voice.

Emily could only shake her head as she looked at the young girl. "I'm fine" she mumbled as her famous walls slammed down.

* * *

 

**Location: Reeves Police Station.**

**Time: 06.57**

Emily and Morgan walked back into the small office, "You want a coffee?" Emily asked her voice sounded hollow as though the life had been sucked out of her. Morgan nodded as JJ looked at her wife and then at Morgan.

"What happened?" JJ asked as soon as Emily left the room.

"Honestly I have no clue," Morgan said trying to give a reassuring smile.

"Again, what happened" JJ asked.

"Emily?" Morgan asked.

"No the crime scene, what on earth do you think I am asking about?" JJ said firmly.

Morgan looked at her in confusion, his partner was closing down and JJ didn't seem to bat an eyelid at the deadened tone to Emily's voice. "Well?" JJ tried again, she watched as he looked towards the door trying to work out if they had fallen out. "Morgan, Emily will be fine, now will you tell me what you found out please" JJ said more firmly.

"Be fine" Morgan muttered before he looked at JJ. "The body wasn't as decomposed as the others, I have asked if the corner would be able to make a mould of the marking, if it is the same scale as the others then we can surmise that each victim is being held by the same people, and if so that would account for their being more than one unsub." Morgan said as Emily finally returned with drinks for everyone.

JJ could only give her a soft smile, she knew Emily was struggling but until they were home she really couldn't do anything other than be there for her when Emily needed her, but for now she had to ignore her wife's ever withdrawing form and concentrate on the case.

"Em, why don't you go and ring home" JJ said softly as she rested her hand on Emily's shoulder "Give them both my love okay" JJ could only hope that talking to their children would help ground Emily until they could finally get home.

"They would have to have a clear path or reason to have access to children and since none of the victims have shown up in missing persons." Morgan stopped slightly as Reid cut in

"What if someone was transporting children over the boarder they wouldn't show as missing here, and if they have been smuggled over the boarder it is unlikely anyone would file a report."

"The Trafficking of children through the U.S.-Mexico border runs rampant. The U.S. State Department estimates that each year up to 17,500 people, primarily women and children, are trafficked into the U.S. to be sold or subjected to labour or commercial sexual exploitation. The United Nations lists Mexico as the number one exporter of exploited children into North America." Reid said as he placed another pin on his map.

"Human trafficking is also a global phenomenon that transcends other international borders. It is estimated that each year 600,000 to 800,000 people, primarily women and children, are trafficked across world borders. Approximately 17,500 of these victims are brought into the U.S. through our borders every year. Victims are lured through promises of a better life and are forced or coerced to work in slave-like conditions, in commercial sex, domestic servitude or other forms of labour or service. Only a couple of years ago, the profits generated by human trafficking ranked third place compared to the illegal sale of drugs, which currently ranks first, and the illegal sale of arms, which ranks second. Human trafficking is now tied with the sale of illegal arms and is the fastest growing form of organized crime in the world according to the U.S. Department of Justice. Some anti-trafficking experts predict that based on the rapid growth of this epidemic, within ten years, the profits generated from human trafficking will have surpassed even those generated by the sale of illegal drugs." Reid sighed as he looked at Emily.

"Bring in one to throw the scent off the other" Emily said with a slight shrug.

"What do you mean?" Morgan asked as Emily looked blankly at the board.

"You bring a shipment of drugs over the border and get caught, you get a rap for drug trafficking, they then gather information of the people you work for and with, each time they only note you have been done for drugs, then you expand and try with guns, you fail with the first attempt normally, as they say you learn from your mistakes, and then you move up or down the ladder depending on which side the heat is on" Emily said sadly.

"If that's the case then this isn't just"

Emily cut Morgan off "If things go wrong you dump what's weighing you down, you don't pass it on you get rid." She said harshly.

"How do you know?" Reid asked.

JJ swallowed slightly, "That's how any trafficking circuit works, drugs, guns and children." Emily sighed as she looked at JJ.

"Emily" JJ said softly.

"I need to make a phone call" Emily said as she walked out the door slamming it behind her.

"What was that about?" Morgan asked. JJ closed her eyes as she pinched the bridge of her nose.


	50. Chapter 50

**May 28**

"She's not coming back is she?" Simon asked as Tony walked in.

"Her apartment is clean, doesn't look as though she has been there at all." Tony said in a sigh.

"You think something has happened to her." Simon asked, even Tony could see the evil glint in his eyes. The sheer thought that Lauren wasn't coming back sent a wave of excitement through his body.

"Don't even think about it. I am sure she'll show up in time, like I've said before she could be looking for more buyers" Tony warned.

"Seriously Tony how much time do you plan on giving her?" Tony ran his fingers through his short brown hair.

"I will ask around and see what's going on." He said before walking out of the warehouse.

* * *

 

**Location: Outside Reeves Police Station.**

**Time: 07.49**

Emily made her way to the small seating area just outside the police station; she pulled out her phone dialling an all too familiar number. "Daniel, it's Prentiss" Emily said firmly.

"Do you know what time it is?" he mumbled his voice full of sleep.

"I know exactly what time it is. Do you happen to know where I am?" she asked. Daniel was her so called handler from when she had to go undercover.

"Hopefully back at the BAU" he mumbled.

"I am in Texas. Tell me when I handed all that information to you did you follow up or did you forget to do that part of your job as well" Emily said firmly.

Daniel yawned slightly. "I" he paused slightly, "You abandoned your position, so why would I have any reason to trust your intel" he replied harshly.

"I may have abandoned my position, my wife had been kidnapped if you care to remember, you failed to pass on information which resulted in someone being gunned down, and now you failed to even act on the intel I gave you" Emily said harshly.

"What do you want Prentiss?" he asked.

"Never mind, I will ring someone else, someone who is capable of doing their job" Emily said firmly as she cut the phone call off.

Hotch and Rossi had just returned to the police station, Hotch had stopped watching Emily as she had begun to pace, he looked at Rossi.

"You go ahead I will be in shortly" Hotch said, Rossi nodded leaving Hotch as he walked over to Emily. "Prentiss?" he said softly. Emily swallowed slightly. He could see how tense she was. Emily couldn't even look at him, as she nodded, "Is everything okay?" he asked as she stopped pacing. Hotch stood in front of her as he looked at her carefully, he could see the amount of worry and pain swirling in her eyes, her normally blank expression was gone and he could see how withdrawn she was becoming. Emily could only shake her head slightly.

JJ had made her way outside as soon as Rossi told them where Hotch was, Emily was on the brink of walking away but at the same time she knew Emily knew more about this case than she had let on, she had seen the deadened look she had in her eyes, the fact that she couldn't even look at Morgan had told her everything. Before any of them had notice JJ was stood beside Emily.

"We need to talk" Emily said as she finally met Hotch's eye line, her fingers automatically wrapped around JJ's.

JJ couldn’t only give her a slight squeeze before Hotch replied "About?" Emily sighed slightly before her eyes met JJ's.

"In private" Emily said sadly. JJ gave her one last look before she headed back inside.

"What's going on Prentiss?" Hotch asked as soon as JJ left.

"I need off this case" she said firmly.

"Unless you give me a good enough reason I" Emily gave a sad smile as she cut him off.

"I can't and don't want another Ian Doyle in my life at a later date Hotch. I recognised the last victim from when I was under cover" Emily said as she swallowed "The agent that I was in contact with, came up with this stupid idea that the intel I gave him was no good because I had gone MIA."

Hotch's face was blank as he looked at Emily. "Do you know" he paused, his heart went out to her but he couldn't help the slight disgust in what she had been made to do.

"I know where they are being held" Emily said sadly.

Emily had informed Hotch of everything, she knew the rest of the team would look at her differently for what she had done, both Emily and JJ had stay behind at the station, Emily had benched herself and JJ was not ready to go into the field yet. "They are going to hate me" Emily mumbled, JJ rested her hands on her shoulders her fingers trying to work the tension she held in them out.

"No darling I don't think they will. Everyone knows what undercover operations are like and everyone knows that you had been forced into, this it wasn't something you volunteered for." JJ said softly. Although Emily was having a hard time believing JJ.

* * *

 

**Location: Somewhere near Pecos Texas**

**Time: 09.45**

"Why didn't she say anything?" Morgan said as the made their way to the next county.

"I can't understand why she would do something like this" Reid said, you could hear the hurt and confusion laced in his voice.

"Prentiss didn't have a choice, she was given an undercover assignment" Hotch said over the mic.

"She could have said no" Morgan looked at Reid he could see the hurt that laced his features.

"She didn't want to go in the first place kid," Morgan said. He couldn't help the disgust he felt after they had been informed about Emily's undercover operation but he also knew it wasn't through choice.

Emily loved children, she would give her life to protect them and he knew this would have been tearing her apart inside.

"Prentiss only realised after the last victim had been discovered, she recognised the victim." Rossi said softly.

"Remember there could still be children in here" Hotch warned as they approached the warehouse.

It was a disused part of town, isolated at the back part "You'd only know this was here if you went looking for it" Morgan said as they pulled up near two other vehicles, Morgan rested his hand on the bonnet of the dark blue car, "Engines cold" he commented as they all strapped on their vests.

"We need to go in hard and fast, we cannot give them time to react. Emily said the holding pens for the children are at the back of the warehouse," Hotch said as they each broke off into teams.

Morgan and Reid headed towards the door at the side, Emily had informed them that it wasn't sturdy and was the closes door to where the children were being kept. Hotch and Rossi headed to the front of the building, each had a swat team with them, it had been agreed that Morgan, Reid and the swat team would enter first giving Hotch, Rossi and the other members of swat an advantage. From what Emily had told them, there were now only two people left on her team Tony who she knew from years ago when she was making contact with Doyle and Simon was someone he had brought along.

The door caved in as soon as the metal battering ram hit the door, Morgan couldn't help the slight chuckle, the gun fire seemed to erupt in the building as Hotch and Rossi entered. Enabling Morgan and Reid to go straight to the children.

Morgan's heart broke as he looked at the scared children each one chained to the walls and the floors their clothes covered in their own filth and dirt. The smell was enough to make anyone sick; the door to the cage was locked with a lock which seemed bigger than needed considering each child was restrained.

"It's okay, you're safe now" Morgan said softly as he entered the holding pen. The children seemed to back away from him. Each one scared of the men that were there.

They had seen so much in the past few months; "We're going to get you out of here" Morgan tried again. He could see them trembling as he moved closer, each movement was slow every action slowed down as to not frighten them any more than they already where. The locks were welded shut, the small child thrashed as he got closer.

* * *

 

**Location: Reeves Police Station**

**Time: 10.39**

"Jen, I need to be there" Emily pleaded.

"Emily, if they find out who you are" JJ tried as Emily placed a vest on.

"Jen please," Emily begged "I need to be there, this is my entire fault. Everything that has happened to them is my fault. I did this to them, I left them" Emily said as tears started to fill her eyes.

JJ's heart broke. "This wasn't your fault Emily" JJ said as she cupped her cheek, wiping away the tears which were starting to fall. "It was your assignment" JJ said carefully.

"I thought they would have gotten them out of there," Emily said, JJ could hear the hurt in her voice. "I trusted them yet again Jennifer. How is that not my fault" Emily said slightly colder than she meant.

"I'm coming with you" JJ said as she glared at her wife.

JJ had learnt early on how stubborn Emily was, but when she had her mind set on something there was little point of trying to talk her out of it, she could understand why Emily needed to be there, but JJ also needed to be there as well. Yes there team was more than capable of catching the people there, but the children. They had been through so much and being surrounded by men could only frighten them more.

* * *

 

**Time: 10.59**

They had waited outside as the sound of gun fire stopped, there was an eerie silence that always seemed to settle after the sound of gun fire stopped and it was again. Though this time you could feel the tension, the iron smell ripped into your senses as soon as they stepped through the doors. The sound of someone else's footfalls caused both Hotch and Rossi to turn around their guns aimed directly at them both.

 


	51. Chapter 51

**Location: Warehouse Pecos.**

**Time: 11.01**

It seemed to take a few moments before Hotch and Rossi realised that their guns were trained on the two other members of their team. JJ had a slight look of shock though she gave an amused smile at them as they lowered their weapons. Emily had been stood just looking at them both blankly she wish Hotch would just shot her as everything that had happened was eating her alive.

"Little warning next time" Rossi said as he holstered his gun.

"Sorry, Emily wanted to be here" JJ gave a weak smile, Emily hadn't spoken a word since they had stepped into the warehouse.

"I thought I was clear when I told you to stay at the station Prentiss" Hotch said firmly.

"I just" Emily started but words soon failed her, she wanted so much to go to where Morgan and Reid were but she knew Hotch wouldn't allow it. JJ sighed slightly before looking over at Morgan; she could see the look of horror on the child's face as he tried to get closer.

"I'll go, you stay here okay" JJ said softly before giving Hotch a stern look.

JJ made her way over slowly her hand rested on Morgan's shoulder; he gave a sad smile though JJ's smiled softly not at him but the terrified little girl he was trying to help.

"Hey princess" JJ said softly as she knelt down next to Morgan. The little girl's eyes seemed to focus on JJ's. "No one is going to hurt you princess, I promise but my friend here wants to get those chains off you okay" JJ said carefully, she saw the flash of fear run through her eyes, but JJ's eyes or face never reacted to it, the only thing she could do was to stay calm and keep talking to her while Morgan got the steel cutters to remove the chains. The little girl nodded as JJ moved closer to her.

* * *

Hotch walked outside with Emily, stopping as soon as they got near the SUV "You can't be anywhere near this Prentiss." Hotch warned slightly.

"If I hadn't have gone MIA none of this would have happened Hotch" Emily said, her voice laced with tears as she spoke.

"You can't think like that kiddo" Rossi said as he made his way over to them both. "Hotch is right you can't be near this Emily," Rossi said as he opened the car door for her.

"You need to stay here, last thing we want is your picture in the paper" Hotch said as Emily got in the car.

"Hotch," Emily said as she turned around "I am so sorry."

For the second time in a year she saw emotion on his face "This was never your fault Emily, this was the job was made to do" he said softly. "You can't blame yourself for this do you understand me" Emily nodded slightly.

Deep down Emily knew he was right but Emily couldn't help blaming herself for all this. If things had been different these children would have been safe none of this would have happened.

* * *

Morgan had finally got the chains off the little girl her arms and ankles finally free and she threw them around JJ, JJ's arms wrapped around her protectively "I've got you princess" JJ whispered as she felt the tears fall onto her shoulder. The medics tried to get near the little girl which only caused her to hold on tighter to JJ.

"Shh, sweetheart" JJ whispered as the small body trembled in her arms, she gave a half smile to the medic as JJ walked into the back of the rig taking a seat, the little girl still wrapped around her neck.

JJ ran her fingers gently through the little girl's hair, "Sweetheart this is a friend of mine she's called Rose" JJ said softly, she was grateful that one of the medics was female. "She wants to make sure you're okay" JJ carefully.

JJ closed her eyes as she felt the wetness beginning to form on her lap, the sobs that came from the little girl broke her heart. "Can you tell me your name princess" JJ whispered not paying any attention to what had just happened.

Hotch and Rossi had taken Emily back to the station, while Morgan and Reid helped to release the rest of the children, in total they had 15 children each one on the way to the hospital to get checked over before child services would take custody of them.

They had finally arrived at the hospital; JJ had sent a message asking for her go-bag to be brought in for her so she was able to change out of the now wet clothes. "Carly" the little girl finally spoke.

"Is that your name sweetheart?" JJ asked to make sure as she walked them down the corridor to the examination room. She nodded against JJ's neck in reply.

The whimpers that came from the little girl broke JJ's heart, there had been signs of sexual abuse, and still the little girl wouldn't let go of JJ which made everything so much harder. JJ was reminded of the time they had first been at hospital with Amy, the whimpers and tears as they treated her arms.

"I've got you sweetheart" JJ whispered as the doctor finally stopped the exam. JJ had finally been able to go outside the room Carly had fallen asleep though she hated children having to be drugged Carly was too traumatise and they had, had to use a sedative on the little girl.

"How is she?" Morgan asked as soon as JJ stepped out of the room, she was grateful as Reid handed her, her go-bag.

"Not good," JJ said as they moved into the hallway, "I need to get changed" JJ gave a weak smile before disappearing to the restroom to change.

"Did you know?" Morgan asked as she re-joined them in the hallway.

"Know what?" JJ asked slightly confused.

"About Prentiss and"

JJ gave a sad smile, "I knew" she closed her eyes as she paused "Emily hates herself for what she has done while she was undercover. She doesn't need any of you jumping on that bandwagon of blame" JJ warned.

"How could she do that" Reid asked.

"It was her job to do that" Morgan said as they headed out of the hospital.

"And you're okay with that?" Reid asked again. "I never said I was okay with it Spencer, but I also don't blame her either, would you blame me if I had been put undercover to do something like that?" JJ asked

"No" Reid said as he furrowed his brow.

"Then don't blame Emily" JJ warned slightly.

* * *

They finally walked back into the station JJ gave a reassuring smile to Emily as they all made their way to the small office. "Is everything okay?" JJ asked.

"Yes, we are just waiting for Rossi to bring our bags and then we can go straight home" Hotch said. Emily hadn't said a word to Hotch or Rossi once they had got back, the silent blank stare Emily had worried them all deeply, all JJ could do was wrap her arms around Emily.


	52. Chapter 52

**Location: Prentiss Household**

**Day & Time: Thursday, 17.59**

Emily couldn't help laughing as hurried footfalls came down the hallway as they both walked in "Mama!" Henry hollered as Emily scoped him up in her arms.

"Hey little man" JJ ran her fingers through his hair before running her fingers gently down Emily's arm.

Emily hadn't spoken much since they left the BAU, her mind was in over drive, she placed a kiss on Henry's brow. "I don't know what I'd do if something happened to him Jen" Emily whispered as she placed Henry back down.

"I know darling,”

Much like Emily she couldn't get the image of what they had found and what Emily had been made to do, her heart went out to Emily but the image of that little girl pulled at her heart more than anything.

The way she had clung to her reminded her so much of Amy, her darkened hair her hazel eyes screamed at her. No child should have been through what that little girl had. She looked sadly at Emily.

"What is it Jen" Emily said as they made their way into the kitchen.

"I can't get that little girl out of my head" JJ said as she started making them both a drink. "What do you think will happen to her?"

Emily gave her a weak smile "She will go into the care system like the rest and hopefully they will find her a home where she will be safe and looked after properly." Emily said as JJ passed her the mug of coffee.

"She reminded me so much of Amy when she was little, scared of everyone and everything" Emily knew where this was going as she wrapped her arms tightly around JJ.

"We can't Jen, as much as I'd love to we can't." Emily sighed.

"I know just, it broke my heart Em, I looked at her and all I could see was Amy"

"I know darling" Emily whispered as she held JJ closer.

* * *

 

**Time: 20.58**

The evening had been quite Henry was curled up in-between Emily and JJ, Amy had disappeared not long after dinner as she needed to get her homework done, "I think this little one needs to go to bed" JJ mused as she looked at his sleeping form. His head rested on Emily's lap, her fingers ran through his hair automatically. Emily nodded as she looked at JJ.

"I think we all need to go to bed" Emily said softly. They both knew nightmares may plague them both tonight.

Emily laid in bed as she waited for JJ to join her in bed, her arm laid outside which would allow JJ to curl into her, JJ smiled as she got into bed she gladly curled into Emily her fingers running out the bump.

"Em, are you thinking of leaving?" JJ asked.

Emily sighed slightly "I don't know Jen, part of me wants to and then something like today makes me want to stay" Emily's fingers ran through JJ's hair.

"I do know I can never do an undercover assignment again, I'd rather turn in my badge" Emily said as she pulled JJ closer. "The other part of me thinks I've gone back too soon" Emily said sadly "I hate leaving them, I know you do as well Jen, but Amy was right in some of the things she said. I can't abandon my family ever again, it has ripped me in two." JJ placed a soft kiss on Emily chest.

"You have never abandoned this family Emily, I was the one that spoke to Hotch about faking your death, and I'd do it again to keep you safe if I have to, and you being sent on an undercover mission wasn't your fault, no one blames you for what you have done, I don't blame you or think of you any differently. I know better than anyone that this has ripped you apart inside. You need to stop blaming yourself for everything that has happened these past few years." JJ said softly.

"You have this habit of blaming yourself when things go wrong and when people get hurt Em" JJ said.

"If I hadn't been sent on that undercover operation" Emily took a deep breath as she tried to suppress her emotions.

"Don't go there darling, I don't blame you for any of this" JJ said softly.

* * *

 

**Time: 04.32**

Emily woke with a start, her eyes adjusted to the dim light which shone through the curtains, JJ was still curled into her side, and Emily couldn't help but smile as her wife slept peacefully in her arms, she knew it wasn't JJ that had ripped her out of her slumber and there were no extra bodies in the bed. There was nothing, no noise, no crying, just the silence that came with the early morning. The birds were chirping outside everything was peaceful though it didn't explain why she was ripped out of her slumber.

* * *

 

**Time: 07.01**

By the time JJ had stirred Emily was already downstairs making breakfast for everyone as she wasn't able to settle back down. "Hey" JJ said as she walked into the kitchen, Emily couldn't help but chuckle as she looked at JJ, who had yet to change out of her nightwear, her hair told the tell tails signs that she had not long since woken.

"Good morning sweetheart" Emily said as she placed the plates on the breakfast bar.

"How long have you been up?" JJ asked as she took a seat her hands wrapping around the warm mug of coffee.

"A few hours"

JJ frowned "Couldn't sleep?" she asked carefully.

"I couldn't get back to sleep" Emily mused.

"How are you feeling this morning?" JJ asked as she took a good mouthful of coffee.

"Okay I guess still pondering what I should do" Emily said with a half-smile."

"Give it time darling, I can understand you wanting to quit but I also know you love this job as much as I do" JJ said just as Amy walked in.

"Morning” Amy mumbled as she walked over to JJ

"Morning princess" JJ said as she wrapped her arm around her pulling her close.

"Where's Henry?" Amy asked, she had been in his bedroom only to find he wasn't there, he had checked her Mom's bedroom only to come up blank.

Emily smiled "In the den" Amy nodded as Emily passed her a glass of OJ.

"Have you got everything you need for school?" Emily asked as she made her way into the den.

"Yeah, Ma" Amy said as Henry climbed onto her lap. Amy chuckled slightly "Can I take him with me" she teased as she tickled his stomach.

Emily laughed slightly, "I doubt your class would get anything done" Amy smirked as she continued to tickle him. "Don't be too long Amy, the bus will soon be here, and Mom and I have to go to work" Emily said as she gave them both a kiss.

"Have a good day Ma" Amy said just as JJ walked into to say goodbye.

"We should be home around seven" JJ said as she kissed Henry on his cheek.

* * *

 

**Location: BAU**

**Time: 08.13**

"How is it that we set off later than we meant to yet we still beat everyone else in" Emily mused as JJ refilled the coffee pot.

"Because I drive us in every morning" JJ teased "Also I want to get this report written up as soon as possible" JJ said as she handed Emily a mug of de-caff

"Thanks" Emily said as though the wind had been knocked out of her.

"Besides you have a few more consults to do" JJ said as she looked at the files she had placed on Emily's desk before the last case.

Morgan had come in to the bullpen, his eyes scanned for Emily, he smiled seeing her concentrating on the file in front of her, and he slowly made his way over to her. "You okay Prentiss?" he asked giving a gentle smile, she nodded before she looked at him.

"Are we okay?" she asked, he smiled at her.

"As far as I know or did I miss something" he said before taking a seat at his own desk. "Emily quit beating yourself up" he said as he pulled out the first case file.

"Not that easy" Emily mumbled as she turned her attention back to the file in front of her.

Reid finally made his way in; he seemed to shy away from Emily not even looking at her as he place his brown satchel under his desk.

"You okay kiddo?" Morgan asked.

Reid nodded before he pulled the form out so he could write his report up. He still hadn't acknowledged Emily, he was confused and part of him was hurt. How could she have done such things he thought he knew her, but just like when they found out about Ian Doyle he felt betrayed as though he had been shut out yet again. He couldn't trust her; she had kept this hidden from them all she had kept each one in the dark as though she could no longer trust them. How could a mother do that to a child let alone all the children she had smuggled in, trapping them in cages as though they were wild animals each one chained unable to move fully.

Emily looked over at him, she could see the hurt in his face, she closed her eyes slightly before looking back at the consult, Morgan may be okay with her but she knew Reid was hurt, and maybe he blamed her and that was fine to Emily because she blamed herself as well. If Reid wanted to freeze her out that was fine as well. He was allowing her to submit to the guilt she felt inside. Nothing was going to be the same between them now.

 


	53. Chapter 53

**Location: BAU Conference Room**

**Time: 09.45**

Emily closed the door as she scattered the pictures of the consult she was working for, she sighed as she looked at the bruised child, the police had DNA but it didn't match anyone that the child knew. She had seen this somewhere before she just wasn't able to put her finger on it. She heard the handle turn and the door open and close. Something told her it wasn't JJ she tensed slightly before she looked around.

She could only give him a half smile the thoughts that she had whirling in her mind came back to the forefront again.

"Hi" Reid said softly.

"Hey" she closed her eyes slightly.

"I'm not mad at you Emily"

Emily couldn't help but frown. "Then why are you giving me the cold shoulder?" Emily asked turning back around.

"I'm mad because they made you do this; they made you lie to us, to hide from us again. They had no right, they have no right to play with your life like that" Reid said firmly. Emily sighed deeply as she turned back around.

"I didn't mean to lie to you Reid, I had no idea the case was related to my undercover work until I saw that last victim" Emily gave a sad smile.

"I know" Reid said as he made his way closer.

"What are you mad at me for then Reid?"

He shook his head slightly. "I, those children Emily, bound to the floors. All I saw was JJ" Emily's eyes went slightly wide as he spoke.

"Reid I can assure you while I was there none of those children had been hurt," Emily said softly even though she knew it was a part lie it was better than explaining everything else.

"I know," Reid said softly.

"I blame myself for what happened to them Reid. If I hadn't had gone MIA then they may still be alive."

* * *

 

**Location: Prentiss Household.**

**Time: 17.59**

"I rang the hospital today" JJ said as she moved the food around on her plate, Emily couldn't help but frown as Amy looked at them both with a confused expression on her face.

"What's going on Ma?" Amy said.

Emily sighed slightly "Take your brother in to the den Amy please" Emily said softly

"What's wrong Ma?" Emily gave her a soft smile.

"Nothing darling just your Mom and I need to talk" Emily said giving her a soft smile. Even though Amy gave them both a worried glance she took hold of her Henry leaving them alone to talk.

"Jennifer?" Emily said softly as she looked at JJ.

"She hasn't said a word Emily" JJ said as she met her gaze "What if they don't give her the help she needs?"

Emily smiled softly. "They will take care of her Jen, she is in safe hands now" JJ scoffed slightly.

"How, she will get lost in the care system, having no one around her that understands what she has been through"

Emily gave a half smile, she knew JJ was right but they had done their job and the children were now being taken care of and hopefully they would be placed in loving homes soon.

"What if that was Amy or Henry? Do you really think they would have the tools to help her, we both know what the system is like, she shouldn't have to deal with this alone," JJ's eyes pleaded with Emily slightly.

"Jen, I have to believe that they do, there isn't anything we can do," Emily said as she made her way over to JJ wrapping her arms around her.

"We know what she is going through" JJ said as she leaned into Emily.

"I know darling, but we can't" she sighed she knew where JJ was going and it broke her heart slightly as she spoke. "What if we had another case like hers and in our job you know it is possible, remember what you said to me about Carrie?" Emily said as she placed a kiss on JJ's head.

"That was different she has family that will take care of her, that little girl has no one Emily, she has no family to take care of her"

"What do you want me to do Jen? We can't bring her here." Emily said softly. "Where did you take that other little girl?"

Emily smiled slightly, "I took her to a local convent hospital, she has been placed with a lovely family and they are looking after her as though she is their own." Emily couldn't help the chuckle, "Like you Jen I checked up on her"

JJ wrapped her arms around her more tightly, "You amaze me every day," JJ whispered.

"Do you want me to make a phone call and have her moved?" Emily asked carefully. Emily had pulled strings with the other little girl and with the donation Emily had made to the hospital they hadn't asked any questions. All they knew was Emily was law enforcement and the little girl she brought in needed to be kept safe. JJ nodded "Okay sweetheart, it may take a while to get things sorted" Emily said softly, she wasn't even sure she would be able to do it.

* * *

 

**Location: Prentiss Household.**

**Day & Time: Sunday, 09.37**

Emily had made some head way in getting the little girl moved; again she had given a large donation and had explained in detail what the little girl had been through. Emily stood in the resting against the doorframe as she watched JJ as Henry play with his trucks, she couldn't help but smile as she thought back to the past few months, her family was truly healing she knew JJ had a long way to go but as she rested her hand on her stomach drawing patterns on the life that was growing inside her, for the first time since coming back from the dead Emily felt whole again.

Emily had invited the whole team around for dinner, they needed to spend time together out of work, and in truth Emily wanted the whole family together. Small arms wrapped around her as a broad grin took over Emily's face.

"Hey buddy" Emily said, she had heard the door open and close as she watched the scene in front of her.

"Hey Ma" Emily wrapped her arm around him, she hadn't told JJ about the extra visitor, but Emily had missed him dearly.

"Is JJ okay Ma, Dad told me what happened" Emily turned her head raising an eyebrow at him, "Well not everything, just that JJ had been hurt badly" he said as

Emily pulled him closer "She's getting there Declan," Emily said as they now both stood in the doorway.

Henry was the first one to notice him as he shouted "Dec" before running over to him.

JJ turned looking at the young blonde haired boy "Hey Declan" JJ said as she made her way over to him. Declan scoped Henry up in his arms as he also gave JJ a hug.

"Hey JJ, can I take him outside Ma?" Declan asked. Emily chuckled slightly.

"Why don't you go and get changed and if you want you can play in the pool, but Declan if you do you cannot leave him alone in the water. Do I make myself clear" Emily said firmly.

"I won't, can I drag Amy as well if she wants to that is"

JJ laughed "She is in her room Declan go and ask her. You know where everything is, don't you?" JJ asked.

"Yep I do" he said as he took Henry towards the stairs. "Fancy swimming little man" Declan asked as they made their way upstairs.

"He's looking well" JJ commented as they walked into the kitchen.

"Tom told me he is doing much better now thankfully" Emily said softly as she made her way over to the kettle, making them both a drink.

"Is he coming by later?" JJ asked.

"I think so, he didn't exactly say" Emily said with a slight shrug.

* * *

 

**Time: 16.41**

The team had started to arrive just as Emily lit the bbq, Morgan couldn't help grinning as he made his way over, Emily couldn't help rolling her eyes as she spotted him.

"I just lit it for you" she teased slightly.

"How did you" he paused slightly.

"I know you Morgan, and this is a macho man thing." Emily said with a laugh as she moved away.

"How is everything?" Morgan asked as he started to get the food ready to on the bbq.

"Getting there finally" Emily said as she passed him a bottle of beer.

"Declan is looking well" Morgan said as he watched the children playing in the pool,

"He's growing up so fast" Emily said as she watched him with Henry.

"He's a good kid" Morgan said as he took a swig of beer.

"That he is."

Emily had become quite as the evening went on, her eyes tracked JJ as she joked around with the team, only every so often did she turn looking for Emily, it was a true sign that JJ was healing. Her eyes then drifted over to the children, the four of them were now playing catch. Emily couldn't help but feel whole, the laughter filled their home there was no longer a dark cloud circling a head trying to crush them.

 


	54. Chapter 54

**Location: BAU**

**Time: 15.04 (Three years later)**

The team had been away for a full week as they tried to catch the unsub, things hadn't gone well, the death toll was one of the highest they had, had on a case, they were deflated each of them had been ripped apart inside, Emily had taken a bad beating and Morgan wasn't much better off.

Out of all the team members those two always seemed to come worst off, they made their way into the bullpen each one with a heavy heart, each one waiting to go home each one needing comfort something that would make them smile, make them see that there is good in the world.

Garcia was still around she too was broken, none of them had seen anything like this, children butchered like animals, teenagers beaten within an inch of their lives, the pictures haunted her.

The blank expression Emily and Morgan both wore was the same, haunted, they had been the ones to come across the bodies they had seen the full force of what this person was capable of.

Morgan had rubbed Emily's back as she heaved outside the crime scene, for once she didn't care if it was professional or not, if the sight hadn't turned your stomach, made you sick or want to scream wholly hell then their truly was something wrong with them or they had become use to the lengthens people would go too.

"I think I'm getting to old for this" Emily said softly as Morgan still had his arm wrapped around her.

"You and me both," Morgan sighed. They both had, had enough, and this case had proved it, they would never get the images of what they saw out of their minds it was now imprinted in their minds.

Emily doubted anything would heal them, not even the loving arms of her wife could heal her from this, the pair were broken and the rest of the team wasn't much better off. But it had taken more out of Emily and Morgan than anyone and no one could dispute that.

"I could do with a drink" Emily mused.

"Drink till we forget?" Morgan said, Emily gave a slight chuckle.

"Forget, drink until we pass out, anything to block that out" Emily said through a sigh.

They made their way into the bullpen the light from the conference cast a dim glow they could see the shadow of a person cast against the blinds. Emily frowned, her eyes focused on the shadow.

“If Jordan thinks we are taking another case, you may need to restrain me" Emily ground out.

"I think I might need restraining as well" Morgan grumbled.

The door to the conference room opened slightly as a small brunette child ran out the room "MAMA" Emily couldn't help the smile that over took her as her young daughter flew down the stairs into her arms.

"Hey princess, what you doing here" Emily asked as she held her tight.

"Mommy" Emily closed her eyes, she should have known.

Morgan ruffled her hair. "Hey kiddo" he said as she then flew herself at her Uncle Derek. They both took a moment before the whole team made their way into the conference room.

"Jennifer" Emily said as she walked in.

"Garcia told me how bad the case was" JJ said

"Can I take him?" Rossi asked as he looked at the small bundle of joy in her arms. JJ wrapped her arms around Emily pulling her close as she looked at the rest of the team each one of them passing their newest member of the family around.

Garcia walked in behind them Henry glued to her side, Amy slightly behind her "I've got a bottle warmed for Adam" Garcia said as she looked at Rossi.

Andrea was still wrapped in Morgan's arms, the door opened again this time producing Beth and Jack. Their whole family was together each member taking comfort of each other. Emily had yet to let go of JJ her face nuzzled into the blondes neck. Morgan gave a sad smile before turning his full attention onto Andrea.

"Shh, I've got you" JJ whispered as the rest of the team fussed over their new arrival, Amy sat with Garcia as Rossi settled the little one in his arms. Andrea with Morgan as Reid began to show the younger children a magic trick.

"I needed this" Emily mumbled into JJ's neck. JJ smiled softly as she pulled her close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may at a later date do a sequel but as it stands now this is the final instalment.


End file.
